by Scott, J. S.
“I think we both did,” he agreed. “Honestly, it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten away from Seattle.”
Zeke worked so hard that I couldn’t remember the last time he’d escaped, either. Sadly, I also couldn’t recollect the last time he’d really laughed and had fun. We’d both been so caught up in our lives that I suddenly realized that in some respects, we’d completely lost touch of each other’s personal emotions.
Yeah, we saw each other at the coffee shop because he stopped in fairly often in case I needed his help with the business. But when had we stopped going out together as friends, having fun together?
Thinking back, I guess it had all been different since Stuart and I had started dating.
“I’ve missed you,” I said before I could censor my words.
“I missed you, too, Jellybean. A lot,” he answered in a husky voice.
“How did we start drifting apart?”
“I’m pretty sure it began when you decided Stuart was the best thing that ever happened to you,” he drawled.
“Did I change?” I asked curiously, knowing full well that I had.
“Yes. You seemed restrained, and you were never meant to be subdued, Jellybean.” He shot me a rueful smile, but his expressive eyes were hidden by the dark sunglasses he was wearing.
I leaned my head back against the lounge pillow and closed my eyes. “I’m not even sure how or when it happened,” I admitted. “Little by little, I just gave up disagreeing with him about everything, from my clothing to my hair style. It was just easier. And I started second-guessing everything I did.”
“Why?” Zeke asked. “At one time, you’d tell the entire world to go screw themselves if they didn’t like you.”
I shrugged. “I think he knew how to manipulate my insecurities. I got to the point where I felt like being me wasn’t good enough.”
“He was so fucking wrong,” Zeke growled. “You know that, right? Nobody should ever want you to change to earn their love and acceptance.”
“I know,” I replied. “But that’s easier to see when the relationship is over than when it’s happening. I guess I never really wanted to acknowledge that I was doing all the compromising.”
In short, Stuart was an asshole. He’d criticized me every single day, and I let myself absorb every perceived fault he pointed out until I was a different version of myself. A Lia I really hadn’t liked.
He’d been in control.
And I’d merely been…an observer.
I felt so damn lost that I wasn’t sure I was ever going to find myself again. Not that I actually missed Stuart, but I’d let him call the shots for so long and dictate who I was as a person, until I’d lost…myself.
My eyes flew open as I felt Zeke put his hand over mine. “Everything will be okay, Lia. It’s just going to take a little time. Your emotions were still raw when Stuart came along because you’d just lost Esther.”
I nodded. “I think I’ve been feeling lost since the day she died. I was looking for something or someone to fill that void, and things with Stuart went well at first. He seemed empathetic about what I was going through, but things…changed.”
“He sucked you in first with kindness, and then started to turn the tables?”
“Yes. He was incredibly charming in the beginning. He swept me off my feet, and made me feel like he really understood my grief, and I believed him. I guess I didn’t see the red flags when they started flying. Or maybe I just didn’t want to see them because he’d made me feel loved in the beginning. I think most insensitive guys probably suck women in first by pretending to be Prince Charming. I just hate myself for not noticing when things changed.”
“Did he ever hit you?” Zeke asked apprehensively.
“He didn’t physically harm me,” I readily informed him. “Although it might have been easier to walk away sooner if he had. Since he just screwed with my head, I rationalized his behavior.”
“Jesus, Lia. I’m so damn sorry you went through that.”
For some reason, I desperately wanted to cry. “You tried to tell me that he was an asshole, but I wasn’t listening.”
“I didn’t try hard enough,” he said roughly.
“Zeke, it wasn’t your responsibility. I had to wake up to what was going on myself before I could change it. It’s way too nice here to talk about the past right now. Let’s go cool off. You ready to go for a swim?”
He stood and pulled me up gently beside him. “It’s going to feel like warm bath water compared to Seattle, even though it’s not summer.”
“You’re definitely not going to hear me complaining,” I said happily.
I glanced at the beautiful turquoise water before I lifted the coverup I was wearing over my head, and tossed it in the chair. I’d only owned one simple, black, one-piece swimming suit, so that was what I was wearing beneath it.
My body filled with anticipation as I bolted toward the water, kicking up some of the gorgeous, white sand as I called, “Race you!”
My actions were a little bit sneaky, but I deserved a small advantage. There was no way I was going to beat Zeke in a sprint without one.
He didn’t catch up to me until I was in the water.
It was warm, but the shock of hitting the sea, and the feel of Zeke snagging my waist from behind, made me squeal.
“Cheater,” he accused. “You always give yourself way too much of an advantage. I never had a chance.”
I’d probably heard those words a thousand times before because I always cheated if I was racing Zeke. It was a very familiar situation, but somehow, it felt different, and lot more intimate this time.
I was in waist-deep water as I turned around and laughed. “All I did was run. You’re just getting slow, Conner.”
“You distracted me,” he said as he grinned down at me, his chest and face already wet from the initial splash we’d made when we’d plowed into the water. “A guy can’t possibly not be diverted when your beautiful ass is right in front of him.”
He hauled me against him, and I trembled as he wrapped his powerful arms around my waist.
He felt so good. So warm. So damned…tempting.
Time stopped as his liquid-blue eyes pinned mine as though he was searching for something. My heart kicked against my chest wall.
“Zeke,” I said breathlessly, not knowing what to say about the way he made me feel.
I hadn’t felt this way since…
Since my twenty-first birthday. Exactly seven years ago today.
Same emotions, same longings, same desires, and exactly the same guy.
The only difference was…Zeke definitely wasn’t backing away this time.
No. Not possible. I’d gotten over that silly crush a long time ago. It just feels similar, right?
Zeke was so close that I could feel his warm breath against my lips.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Lia,” he rasped right before his mouth covered mine.
My body caught fire, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, savoring every connection of my fingers against his bare skin.
Carnal desire flooded my senses, and I couldn’t get enough of his marauding mouth, so I pushed back, meeting every stroke of his tongue.
It felt so perfect, so natural that I wasn’t even wary about letting him in.
The way that Zeke consumed me felt so right that I couldn’t imagine it being wrong.
He was different, yet familiar at the same time. And I couldn’t get enough.
I wanted to explore this new, sexy, sensual, covetous side of Zeke that drew me in like a magnet.
I clung to him like a second skin, and I didn’t ever want to let go.
He touched me like I was the most necessary thing in the world to him, like he needed me just to survive.
It was urgent.
It was addicti
ve.
It was totally seductive.
And completely all-consuming.
I was panting when he finally released my mouth, his lips trailing to the sensitive skin of my neck, leaving a trail of fire in his wake as he said huskily, “I want you so damn much, Lia.”
Incredibly, I wanted him, too. More than I could express in words. “I don’t understand this. We’re supposed to be friends.”
“Let it happen,” he said roughly against my neck. “Don’t second-guess the way we feel together.”
I wasn’t sure why I felt like I had to figure everything out when I knew Zeke was right. I could just let myself feel, because what I was experiencing was very, very real. Couldn’t I just savor those unfamiliar longings without having to analyze the entire situation?
My core clenched painfully as Zeke’s mouth brushed against my ear. My body was demanding satisfaction. And dammit, I wanted to climb up his muscular body until I got exactly what I needed.
I let my head fall to one side to give him access to explore. “This doesn’t happen to me. Ever.”
He grabbed my ass and pulled my lower body tightly against him. “This happens to me all the time. Every damn time I see you,” he grunted.
I nearly melted as I felt his hard erection press against my belly.
“I never knew,” I answered in a rush.
“Now you do,” he answered abruptly. “The question is…are you game for a new adventure, a different dimension of our relationship?”
I knew he was asking me if I was okay with our friendship moving to a whole different level. “I’m scared,” I confessed. “I’m not used to feeling this out of control.”
“You’ll have to get used to it, and trust me,” he said as he slowly backed away, took my hand, and started to tug me into deeper water.
I leaped onto his back and pushed his head underwater playfully. “I’ve always trusted you,” I told him as he surfaced.
I squealed as he lifted my body and tossed me so far that I was sputtering when my head was above the water again.
Zeke was there to lift me up and adjust my legs around his hips as he replied. “I want to make you come until you can’t remember your own name anymore.”
I ground my hips against his washboard abs as I melted, knowing that I wanted exactly the same thing.
For this stolen period of time, when we were alone in a place where we didn’t know another soul, Zeke was the center of my world.
Let it happen. I heard his voice in my head, even though he hadn’t spoken, and I closed my eyes and laid my head on his shoulder.
The way I felt was much too powerful to do anything else except enjoy the moment.
Lia
Two days later, I found myself wondering how I’d never known that Zeke was actually a really romantic guy.
He didn’t pile on overboard, sappy, fake, over-the-top charm like Stuart had in the beginning.
Zeke was romantic in an I-want-you-to-remember-this-day-or-this-experience kind of way that touched my heart because his thoughtfulness was genuine.
“I love it. Thank you,” I murmured to him as I clutched at the pendant he’d just put around my neck, a delicate medallion that was carved in white gold, and inspired by the Mayan calendar to remind me of the ruins we’d explored all day. “You do realize I’m getting completely spoiled. You just gave me the most beautiful pair of earrings I’ve ever owned on my birthday.”
I turned, threw my arms around him, and gave him a hug.
I was wearing those gorgeous earrings, and I hadn’t taken them off since he’d gifted them to me right before he’d taken me out for an incredible birthday dinner. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to take them off. Number one, I loved them. They were diamond studs surrounded by a beautiful halo of diamond accents. Number two, they had to have costed a fortune, and I didn’t want to lose them. They had a really good safety back, so I was more comfortable keeping what had to be several karats of diamonds in my ears, rather than risk getting them lost or stolen.
“It’s about time to get rid of those trainer earrings, don’t you think? And you could use some spoiling. It’s just a few gifts, Lia,” he said in an amused baritone next to my ear. He lifted me off my feet and twirled me around before he set my feet back on the ground.
I sighed happily as my feet found the floor. “Bite your tongue!” I scolded. “Those so-called trainer earrings have been my favorite for the last seven years, and I’m thinking about just getting a second piercing so I can wear them above these.” I put my fingers to my earlobes, just like I’d done a hundred times over the last few days, just to reassure myself that the new earrings were still in place.
The trainer earrings he’d been referring to were a pair of small, delicate diamond studs that he’d bought me for my twenty-first birthday. Even those earrings had been a pretty pricey gift for a female friend on her twenty-first birthday, but I’d cherished them from the day Zeke had given them to me.
He smirked as I stepped back. “So what happens when I get you the next pair? Or the next five pair? I think you’ll eventually run out of space to pierce.”
I shook my head. “Don’t. Two is more than enough. You’ve spent way too much money on this wedding, the honeymoon, my beautiful ring, and jewelry. No more gifts for at least five years.”
“Yeah? I don’t think so, Jellybean. We’re going to have to negotiate on that one.”
I smiled as I leaned against the counter in the efficiency kitchen of our suite, and watched him unlace his hiking boots. He’d unlaced mine, and pulled them off my feet before he’d given me my necklace. “We’ll see. Right now, I’m pretty adamant about that five-year time frame,” I answered.
“Okay,” he quipped accommodatingly. “I’ll hit you up for negotiations tomorrow.”
I snorted. “Smartass!”
He turned his head and shot me a grin. “You know you love me anyway.”
I knew he wasn’t really expecting me to answer after making that statement. Zeke and I never talked about loving each other seriously. Okay, maybe when we were younger, we had said those words friend-to-friend, but not since…
My twenty-first birthday.
Come to think of it, he’d never given me anything as personal as those adorable earrings since then, either, even though every gift after that had been extremely thoughtful.
Zeke had always been generous when it came to birthdays, holidays, and other special occasions, but he’d gone from generous to completely insane over the last week.
He absolutely had to stop!
I fingered the necklace he’d just given me, and then wrapped my hand around the pendant.
To him, the necklace he’d just given me was just a keepsake or a memento from our outing today.
For me, it would always be a reminder of what it was like to be with a man who gave from his heart with no expectations, and just enjoyed being with…me.
“I’m starving,” Zeke told me after he’d kicked off both his hiking boots. “I hope our room service gets here pretty soon.”
“They said forty minutes.” I’d placed our order as soon as we’d come in the door, since we were both famished. “It won’t be long.”
I watched him as he went to the fridge, pulled out a beer for himself, handed me a wine cooler, and then dropped a bag of something I couldn’t identify onto the kitchen counter. “I’ll leave these here in case you want some later,” he told me as he closed the door of the refrigerator.
I leaned around his massive body. “Jelly Belly Cocktail Classics! That bag is huge. I love those, but I don’t find them that often unless I get to a store that has a bigger selection. Where did you find them?”
He shrugged. “I ordered them and had them delivered. They must have gotten here today. I think you have some making up to do if you were deprived for a year or more.”
&nb
sp; I tilted my head and assessed Zeke’s expression.
There was no humor in his voice.
No mischief in his eyes.
Making sure I had plenty of something I loved, but had given up for a long time, was obviously something he was deadly serious about.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
It would be silly to cry over jelly beans, right?
On the other hand, I wouldn’t be bawling over the candy.
My eyeballs wanted to leak at the moment because Zeke had felt compelled to have them sent here just to make me happy.
God, how long had it been since a guy had given a damn about any of my wants or needs?
I didn’t tease him or joke around because I didn’t want him to think I’d ever take something so considerate for granted.
He was quiet as he walked into the living room area and sat down the sofa.
I seated myself on the other end of the couch as I said, “Because I don’t get those flavors often, I don’t really associate them with a particular kind of emotion or feeling,” I informed him. “So I think from now on, any of those five cocktail classic flavors will remind me of you, and how happy I am right now.”
His eyes searched my face. “Are you happy, Lia?”
“Yes. You have no idea how much.” I took a swig of my wine cooler, set it on the coffee table, and moved closer to Zeke until I was snuggled up to his side. “Do you want to be my strawberry daiquiri and pina colada?” I teased.
He put his beer on the side table, wrapped his powerful arms around my waist and hauled me as close to him as I could get. “Hell, yes. I’ll be whatever damn cocktail you want if you’re happy and you’ll stay exactly where you are right now.”
I laid my head on his chest, savoring his warmth, his heady masculine scent, and the pure joy of just being this close to him. “You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever known,” I told him earnestly. “I have no idea why some lucky woman hasn’t snagged you yet, Zeke. You’re the real deal. The whole package. How have you managed to stay single when you’re pretty much every woman’s fantasy guy?”
He stroked a hand lazily over my hair as he said hoarsely, “I doubt very much if I’m every woman’s fantasy, and maybe I’m still single because I was waiting for you, Lia.”