The day I got out of the hospital Reggie came to drive me to my apartment. I’d known she was coming to pick me up, because otherwise I’d have arranged for someone else to drive me home. What I hadn’t expected was that she was wearing one of my favorite outfits. The short, tight black skirt that I hadn’t seen on her in over a year, with the tall black boots that she’d worn to couples therapy last time. I’d wondered then if she had just forgotten how much I loved her in the boots, but now I knew she hadn’t forgotten anything. She turned around and I realized the black top was a halter, showing her tattoo of vines and flowers as the only color in the black outfit. The colors were soft and beautiful against her skin. She hadn’t liked wearing halter tops after her breasts got bigger and stayed bigger after we had Connery. She insisted on wearing a bra all the time now, but here she stood in a halter top, with my favorite boots climbing her long legs, and the skirt she’d stopped wearing because she was a mother now and what if her students saw her out dressed like a hooker? I got to the makeup and red lipstick eventually, but this time she didn’t get mad because I didn’t look at her face first. Her smile let me know that my face showed her everything she’d wanted to see on it. “You missed our lunch and our date,” she said.
“I’m sorry, you don’t know how sorry I am that I missed seeing you.”
She gave me that Valentine’s Day promise smile. “I missed you, too.”
My heart did a flip that if I’d still been hooked up to monitors would have probably brought the medical staff on the run.
“This doesn’t mean we’re back together; I’m sorry but I’m not ready.”
I wasn’t sure if my heart stopped beating for a second or just slid down into my feet. I fought not to look disappointed or to assume based on the outfit she was wearing, but it was hard. She wasn’t a sadist, and to wear that outfit to pick me up and not be back together was definitely sadistic.
“I guess seeing me in the hospital just confirmed a lot of your fears,” I said, and my voice wasn’t normal, but it wasn’t angry either and that was the best I could do.
“I’m still scared of your job, but when I saw you in the bed before the doctors knew if you’d wake up, I realized there was something else I’m more afraid of than losing you because you get hurt on the job.”
“What are you more afraid of?”
“Losing you out of my life and out of Connery’s life, because I’m too chickenshit to be a cop’s wife.”
“You’re one of the bravest people I know, Reggie.”
“No, I’m not, I’m really not, but I’m going to try to be.”
“Thanks for driving me today.”
“If I was really brave, I’d drive you to the house, so you’d be there for Connery when he gets out of preschool, but I’m not there yet.”
“I understand.”
“Do you?”
“No, not really, but I understand that I just got hurt on the job and that’s one of your worst fears. Hard to take me home after that.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Zaniel.”
“You won’t lose me,” I said.
“Did you ask the doctor if there are any physical restrictions, anything you’re not supposed to do for a few days?”
“Not drive today, and not go in to work for a few more days; if I get dizzy going up stairs or doing anything to let him know, but I should be fine.”
“Did you ask about sex?”
“No, I only asked about things I’d be doing sooner,” I said. I fought to keep any hope or speculation off my face.
Reggie looked at me; it was a long look, and then she smiled and slid her hands down her body from the halter top to the tops of the boots hugging her thighs. She stared at me the entire time so she could watch my face.
“I don’t want to assume anything here,” I said.
That full, red mouth smiled like the serpent must have smiled at Eve. “I think it’s time we tried out the new bed at your apartment, don’t you?”
I didn’t trust what I’d say, so I just nodded, smiled back like an idiot, and hit the NURSE CALL button. I stood up. “I’ll go find my doctor.”
“You sit down and rest, I’ll go find the doctor,” she said.
“I feel fine,” I said.
“Rest while you can, Zaniel, because once we get to your apartment the plan is to exhaust us both.”
I sat down on the edge of the bed and let her go find the doctor, because conservation of energy suddenly sounded like a great idea.
ANGEL VOCABULARY
Angelus Decantabat—the angel sang
Angelus Cantor—angel singer
Angelus Dictum—the angel said
Angelus Extium—angel of destruction
Angelus Mortis—angel of death
Angelus Natum—angel of birth
Angelus Tenebris—angel of darkness
Angelus Lucis—angel of light
Angelus Scriba—clerk secretary
Angelus Scriptor—writer who creates words
Angelus Auditor—listener to angels
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