Paula said, “all my life, it felt like some of me is missing.”
The next five months, John mailed two twenty-dollar bills to his mother. She wrote him a thank you letter, she apologized for blaming him for his brother’s murder, and her lack of parenting when he was young.
The fifth month, after John’s visit, Paula was taken to the hospital. Her third day in the hospital the janitor went to see her. She said to him, “I should have left Mama Faye on the plantation.”
The Janitor said, “she was an old woman, I understand the reason for bringing her, why did you allow her to make you sell your body and turn your apartment into…”
Paula cut in to correct the janitor, “she did not make me, I chose over my boys, alcohol, men, wild parties, my body barely covered. The shame of it.” She handed him the key to her apartment and said, “when I die, run my obituary in the newspaper. My son will read it, and know I am gone.”
The Janitor asked, “how will I pay for it?”
Paula smiled and said, “each month my son sends me two twenty-dollar bills, I only spent one and put the other in the top drawer in my bureau. The money in the drawer will be more than enough to pay to have my obituary in the newspaper. He will read it, and know his unfit mom is gone.”
The janitor asked, “what do I write?”
“Paula said faintly, “look in that nightstand and get the note out.”
The janitor opened the drawer and got the obituary that Paula had written. As he read Paula said, “thank you for saving my baby boy. He is who he is, because of you.” She turned her head and in the midst of crying, quietly passed away.
The janitor said, “Paula this is beautiful.” He shook her to get her attention. She did not move, he rolled her on her back, her face was still wet from the tears. He pushed the call button. Before the nurse entered the room, he said, “thank you, Paula, for being a good friend.” When a nurse entered, he was crying.
The janitor left the hospital, went home got a pen and added a message at the bottom of her obituary.
Every morning John Bright would read the obituaries, one morning his mom was in there she had written, “Paula, run way-slave from Massa Brown Plantation. I died free from slavery, but not free from myself.” Under her obituary, the janitor wrote, “from being owned to trying to make it on your own, ain’t easy. She did not die alone. Your son and I love you, Paula. Rest in peace.”
His wife entered the room, John was crying, she asked, “what’s wrong honey?”
“My mother died.”
John handed her the newspaper and pointed to Paula’s obituary. His wife said, “we’ll keep this for the children.”
“No,” John answered, he got the paper and threw it in the fireplace, he later realized that was a huge mistake.
All But One
Part II
XVII
Paula and Moses Offspring
John Bright, Donovan’s grandpa from the 1800s, married and had two children, his daughter, Jo Ann Bright was born 1893, and son John Bright Jr. born 1895.[RL47] On Jo Ann’s tenth birthday, her mother took her daughter shopping, she wanted Jo Ann to choose her own birthday gift. Instead of getting something for herself, she got a leather wallet for her father, a silk scarf for her mother, and a wood whistle for her brother. Her mother was so impressed with her daughter’s selflessness, the next day she went back to town and bought Jo Ann a beautiful very expensive already made dress, and material to make Jo Ann a doll. John Sr. tried to argue about the cost but was shut down when his wife reminded him about their daughter’s kindheartedness, and the wallet he had in his pocket. Realizing he’d lost the argument, he hushed.
From that day forward John Sr. always purchased the same wallet and put Paula’s picture and note in the slot. He only showed the items to his wife; it was his private secret.[RL48]
On Jo Ann’s twentieth birthday, John took her to hear Ida B. Wells Barnett speak which would be an exhilarating experience for his daughter. John thought his vivacious daughter would enjoy hearing the crusader since the majority of Jo Ann’s conversations was about equality for all. After hearing the speaker, Jo Ann was excited and chatty on their way home. She said, “dad you’re a genius for studying history. When I finish college, I am going to teach history to change America’s mindset.”
John Sr. and Jo Ann arrived home in the early hours of the morning. Still, a few hours later Jo Ann was up, she had prepared breakfast, had eaten and was dashing out the door to class. Her mother entered the kitchen and asked, “did you enjoy hearing Mrs. Barnett?”
Jo Ann gave her mom a hug and said, “she was wonderful, history is our way out.” She left.
*******
Two years later, Jo Ann graduated from college, against her parent's demanding her not to go, she packed her bags and moved to Mississippi, a state where lynching was a norm. She hungered, to make a difference by teaching history about coloreds and whites in America. Jo Ann wrote an article titled, No Longer Divided. She ended it stating, in this country, there are poor coloreds and poor whites, rich coloreds and rich whites, some coloreds are educated, some whites are educated – we are all the same. No longer divided. Jo Ann’s paper won several awards, she was invited to speak at two engagements, each time she got too excited and lost focus on her topic. [RL49]Thus, she was never asked to speak again. However, her writings about America and its lack of justice for all was published in colored American newspapers and magazines.
Within a year of moving to Mississippi, Jo Ann married a man that was an eloquent speaker. She traveled with him throughout the south as he addressed the audience on rights and justice for all men. Jo Ann and her husband made a perfect couple, Jo Ann wrote his speeches, he articulated her writing with pure conviction. He was handsome, cool, calm and suave. On the other hand, Jo Ann was beautiful, spunky, and determined to change America. Her husband loved her beauty and enjoyed her attitude towards life. One day, three years after their wedding, he was reviewing a speech that he was going to give that evening in a small town that sat on the edge of the Mississippi River. Jo Ann and her husband were staying in the pastor’s home for the weekend, whenever they traveled, they stayed with the pastor of the local church.
While reviewing his speech, Jo Ann and her husband got into an argument about her wandering off alone, she wanted to go to the general store that was down the road to get a little snack. He said, “no, it’s too dangerous, we’ll go later with others.”
Jo Ann argued, “it’s just down the road where coloreds walk up and down all day.” She opened the door to the room they were sleeping in, then turned and said, “I’m hungry.” She left closing the door behind her.
Her husband followed her outside, he grabbed her arm and said, “baby, it’s not safe.”
She yanked her arm away and said, “it’s just up the road.” She hurriedly walked away.
Her husband saw a little boy playing. He called the boy over and gave him a few coins to walk with his wife.
The little boy ran and caught up with Jo Ann, he asked, “lady, may’s I walk wid’ ja?”
“Yes, you may,” was her amused reply.
They walked along laughing and talking. Jo Ann asked the boy about his mom, who was a sharecropper, dad was gone, he had five siblings. His answer to Jo Ann’s question about school, “naw ma’am, I’s cain’t tend’ school cause’ I’s work in da’ field all day.”
On their way back to the pastor’s house, five teenage white boys had come to the colored section of town, they watched Jo Ann and the boy exit the store. One of the boys said, “we’s gonna’ git’s a nigga’ ta’day.”
The boys followed behind them, Jo Ann turned and saw them coming, she said, “run.”
She and the boy took off running down the dirt road. The teenagers caught Jo Ann, they beat her with their fist, sticks, stones, and anything they could find, laughing one of them said, “you’s ain’t welcome here nigga.”
They kicked her several times in the head, chest, stomach, b
ack, anywhere they’re feet could go. The little boy ran for help, two colored men were coming down the road, he went up to them and said, “please help.”
The two men heard the commotion, one of the men told the boy to run ahead and tell the pastor. The men ran the boys away, one of them picked Jo Ann up and carried her to the pastor’s house, he took her in the front room and laid her on the couch. A colored hospital or doctor was not around, the pastor’s wife tried the best she could to nurse Jo Ann. Her husband knelt by her side, her face was so swollen and bruised she was unrecognizable, she said, “I should have listened.”
Her husband kneeling next to his wife was crying, JoAnn put her hand on his cheek, she whispered, “look at me.”
He looked into her swollen eyes, JoAnn whispered, “never give up,” her hand fell to her side. She closed her eyes and died grimacing from the pain that vaulted through her body.[RL50]
Jo Ann always carried in her purse the phone number to the corner store that was near her parent’s home. The two men that brought her to the pastor’s home, walked with Jo Ann’s husband down the road to the country store. On their way, Jo Ann’s husband knelt down on the ground where he saw Jo Ann’s blood. He picked up several small stones and wrapped them in his handkerchief. Once in the store, he called New York. When her husband hung up, he cried uncontrollably.
*******
The news sent her father into a deep depression. John, his wife, and son took a train to Mississippi for the funeral, John did not cry. For two years his wife, who was heartbroken as well, and John Jr., did all they could, to get him out of his depressed state.
1919, John Jr. became a professor of mathematics in the same New York University his father attended. John Jr. got married, and in 1923, his wife was pregnant with twins. John Sr. had never heard of a woman carrying two children in her belly, he thought that was astonishing and dangerous. He asked his son, “how can a woman carry two people at one time?”
John Sr. nor his wife had ever heard of twins when it was close to their daughter in law's due date, they packed their bags and drove to his son’s home. “How can a woman carry two babies at one time,” John Sr. asked his wife as he drove down the street.
Though still gloomy and depressed, becoming a grandpa temporarily quieted his pain from losing his vivacious daughter.
When the couple arrived at John Jr.’s home, his mother was astonished at how big her daughter in-law’s stomach was. She clapped her hands out of sheer joy, gave her daughter-in-law a hug and until the baby’s birth she cooked, clean, washed, dust, swept, simply pampered the mother of her future grandchildren.
The day John Jr. went to the hospital to bring his wife and babies home, John Sr. and his wife stayed at the house. he looked at her and said, “I was born in slavery and you were born in slavery. The little baby’s in the hospital are the second generation of our offspring, born free.”
His wife said, “you weren’t born in slavery. I was because my mom didn’t leave the plantation. After the war, she stayed and died on the plantation. After her funeral, I walked and walked from Delaware to New York. I stopped on the college campus in Rochester. Mama was a field hand; I was born right there in the field.”
“Field, in Delaware?”
“Yeah, they grow crops. For years I was a slave.”
John Sr. said, “I remember a big black gate that was all over the place. In the evening us kids would play outside, we didn’t go near those gates,” he stopped as though he was thinking, then continued. “I’m not sure why we didn’t. Maybe because there was this rough looking man, some coloreds called him boss others, Massa. There was a man that stayed in our house, he had a strange accent, sometimes he would say words I didn’t understand. My mother cried a lot, she’d fall or run into things, I prayed that mom would stop hurting herself. I just now remembered that.” He said more to himself.
John Sr. reached for his wife’s hand and held it as he said, “here’s how I know I was born a slave. Mama, grandma, my brother, and I road on a wagon to this great big house, we got off that wagon. We got on the back of another wagon, we laid down, this white man covered us over. He took us so far, then stopped, he removed the covers, talked to mama, then off we went with mama driving. I watched that man walk away until he disappeared. I was seven my brother was ten, when we arrived in New York, I was nine. I asked mama to send me to school.” His mind trailed off for a moment before continuing, “I have no idea how I knew I could go to school. I didn’t know what school was.”
His wife said, “that was God. He has something for you to do, ask Him what it is.” She squeezed John Sr.’s hand and continued, “if you were free, you would not need to hide in the back of a wagon.”
“That’s right,” he said not really listening.
“Now that you are a grown man, you do know that that man was…?
“Beating on my mother? Yes, I realize that, and my daddy, he wasn’t around a lot.”
John’s wife said, “yes, could have been, one day you said that a man took you and your brother to town, you never talk about him.”
“We did go to town, several times, I never knew the name of the town or state. When we got to New York my brother was killed in a gang fight when he was fourteen.”
“Your mother could have run from your father, not slavery, especially since a white man helped her. Slaves did not randomly go to town, or anywhere without our papers.”
“That’s that psychology you studied in school.” John Sr. said laughing. He stood and paced.
His wife asked, “Do you remember your dad showing white folk papers?”
“No, he did not,” John replied.
His wife said, “you were not a slave. I wish we’d had this conversation when Jo Ann was with us, she would have loved to talk with you about your family.”
“I was not ready then, now, something has awakened in me, I don’t know what it is but it’s building as though it’s going to explode.” John sat down and said, “what if it’s not me God wants to use, but our son or his offspring.”
His wife said, “when I met you, I thought there was something different about you. Your aura, John Jr. has the same thing. Jo Ann did not, she was like me, neutral, regular so to speak.”
John Sr. flinched. She was talking about his baby girl not being special, JoAnn was his world.[RL51]
Still holding his hands, she continued, “you had to go see your mother, that was deemed by God, she was very articulate, she only misspelled four words on the note she wrote to you, I am sure that they were words she had never seen written. Again, ordained by God. This too is of God, you keep that note and picture in your wallet, you’ve never shown it to anyone, except me,” she pointed to herself then continued, “one day, someone with your genetic factor, is going to reach into that little slit, pull out your mothers note, and the picture will fall out. That person is going to do something, extraordinary.”
John Sr. said, “you say my genes, baby, you carried the children. So, the combination of our genes will do what you claim is ordained by God.” Irritated he said, “stop saying that.”
She yanked her hands away, got up, and sat in a chair. As soon as she did, John Jr. and his wife entered the house with John Jr., carrying the twins that they named Donald and Rachel.
His mother went to the family, hugged her daughter-in-law, kissed the babies, and hugged and kissed her son. She grabbed her daughter-in-laws’ arm and helped her to a chair. John Jr. took the twins to his dad who was on the couch, he placed the twins in each of his father’s arms.
John Sr. held the babies close to his chest. He looked at his wife and said, “our second generation, born free.” As he rocked and cried, his wife tried to take the twins, but he would not let them go. He remembered seeing Jo Ann’s badly beaten face and body, he cried for Jo Ann’s husband, for his wife who lost her shopping buddy, he cried for losing someone that was a part of his body and now they were gone. He looked at his two grandbabies lying still in his arms, though not
from him, yet they were a part of him. Through teary eyes, and wet face he looked at his son and whispered, “thank you.” He held the babies closer, buried his face in their blankets, and cried. [RL52]
Watching his grand-twins grow up, was exactly what John Sr. needed to completely heal out of his depression. He never forgot his daughter, but over a short while, his depression melted away as the twins grew. John Bright, Sr. never again talked about his mother, brother, or life on H.B. Metropolis, the memory of it all slowly began to fade away with age. John kept the picture of his mother and the note hidden in a slot inside the wallet. Just in case as his wife said, “it’s ordained by God.”
1953, John Sr. grandson, Donald Bright, became a Lawyer with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, NAACP. John Sr. was eighty-four years old; he was so proud of his grandson; he thought his heart would burst. He never expected his family to excel as they were doing. He believed, being born of a woman that was a prostitute his blood was tainted with her bad blood, and his children would be ruined.
Through his son and daughter’s success and his grandchildren becoming prominent citizens, John Sr. grasped the notion that it is not the blood running through a person’s vain that ruin their lives. Instead, it is the choice they choose to make. John Sr. stopped blaming others for Jo Ann’s death, because like his wife said years ago, “Jo Ann was warned, she did not listen, she chose, wrong.”
At the time, John Sr. did not like his wife harsh words, he knew they were true. He realized; Jo Ann was a grown woman that elected to walk down that road alone.
John Sr. died 1955, a happy fulfilled man and glad his mother brought her boys to New York. His wife died in 1956, before her death she gave her son, his father’s wallet. She said nothing about the content. She died believing, when it’s time, God will reveal the contents of the wallet to whom He’s chosen.
All But One Page 21