“I said I’ll sort her out and then deal with Ellis.”
Sighing heavily, she joins dad and then quickly moves out of the way when he leaps up from the chair and darts out the room to the bathroom.
He can be heard vomiting from another country, and I turn my back on all the eyes transferring to me now he’s out the room.
I don’t want to deal with them, I can’t. They can wait for my dad to return and give out the orders and our next move.
My little girl’s sobs die down and her bottom trembles as I sway her from side to side the way she likes.
I take in every inch of her sweet little face and my heart tightens at the thought of her being left alone in this world. I need to bring her mom home and soon. I don’t want her knowing a time where she wasn’t around.
Sparky chuckles, pulling my attention away from Rayna, and it sounds wrong. So fucking wrong and I’m not the only one who notices.
“Please, old man, tell us what’s so funny?” JJ growls.
“Your mom, good luck to that cunt if he tries anything with her.”
Does he truly believe this or is he telling himself anything that keeps his heart rate down? Bonnie is as feisty as a lioness, and she’s as protective as one, but sometimes being the strongest gets you hurt the worst.
“At least Tori is with Ky, and the twins are there,” Ricky says, nodding to no one in particular, keeping himself sane.
Luca’s scowl at the mention of her name spikes so many more questions. Perhaps he isn’t as hung up on that Sara chick as I thought.
Mom and dad enter the kitchen and dad falls into the last available chair at the table and mom heads for the glass cabinet to pour him a glass of water. She knows where everything is because she showed up not long after I moved in with everything I would need for a kitchen and put it all away for me. She’d show up with essentials and groceries everyday if I let her.
Everyone stays quiet until dad has sipped his water and handed the glass back to mom.
“The next twenty-four hours are going to be…”
“Unpredictable,” Ricky mutters.
“We have no idea who this cunt really is, he’s like Rick said, unpredictable. Who knows what damage he’s going to cause in such a short time.” The door opens, and the two prospects walk in with bags of formula. Thank fuck. I already know what I have to do, standing around listening to everyone talking isn’t on my agenda.
“We weren’t sure which ones she had, so we got a couple of each.”
I rifle, one handed through each bag until I see the brand she has and thank the lord they bought the ready-made formula.
As I wait for it to heat, I notice Slade is staring off out the window, Sparky is dangerously quiet, and JJ is holding onto Harper like he’s scared she’s going to disappear.
Everyone here needs someone who is trapped at the club, what they don’t need is me making rash decisions and causing catastrophic results.
Mom’s mouth opens but with one look from me, she goes off to help dad and I escape to Rayna’s nursery.
Sitting in the rocking chair that India and I were only arguing about before we left for Mercy, it feels so long ago now. I swore it wouldn’t take my weight, the thing looked and still does look flimsy as fuck. She swore it would. As usual, she was right. Rayna hungrily sucks on the teat and settles quickly.
Her feeding is the only noise I can hear, and the quietness is golden. It’s perfect.
“I know you’re missing your momma, I miss her too. I’m going to bring her home to you. I promise.”
Inhaling deeply, I squash down the need to choke on the extra air.
“You won’t remember this, you don’t even know what I’m saying, but I hope you’ll feel it somewhere in your heart.”
She coughs on her milk, the greedy guzzler, and I smile, taking it as a sign from her in some fucked up way. She settles back down, and her eyelids begin to flutter as they close.
“I need you to know I love you so much, from the moment your momma told me she was pregnant with you, I loved you. God, I loved you before I even met you. Your mom and you are the only ones I would do this for and when you’re older, I hope you hear this about me. I hope you’re told that my love for you knew no bounds and that you will understand.”
She goes lax in my arms, and her little tongue pushes out the bottle. Placing it on the dresser beside the chair, I reposition her and settle her against my chest and I sit there, holding her. Embracing her little belly rapid breathing against me, her murmurs as she stretches her legs out, and her tiny hand clenching my shirt as she sleeps. I take it all in and pray -for the first time in my life- that I get to take these moments with me wherever I end up. I wanted to be a dad from the moment India told me she was pregnant but until the day she gave birth I didn’t count on the depth of fierce protectiveness I’d feel for her. I don’t have much time left. If I’m gone too long, mom will come and check to make sure we’re okay, or Dad will send a prospect up to collect me to go over a plan to deal with Ellis.
Laying her in her crib, she doesn’t wake like she has been while we were in Mercy and at the club. India would make a joke about her being a daddy’s girl going down so easily for me, and I’d tell her not to be stupid, but on the inside I’m proud as fuck to have this girl doting on me.
“You just needed to be home, didn’t you.” I smile into the darkness and cover her with her blanket.
“I’d lie down and die for my patch, and I’d lie down and die for your mother, but above them all, I would die a thousand deaths to bring you what you need, and you need your mom.”
Leaning over her crib, I press my lips softly to her forehead and inhale her sweet, milky scent.
“God, please grow strong and be stubborn. Don’t take no shit and look after your momma for me.”
Before I can’t peel myself away from her, I grab her baby monitor and switch it on, gently closing the door after me as I leave. I turn the volume right up on the monitor and wedge it between the stair’s banisters. I can hear my dad talking with the brothers in the kitchen, but there isn’t time for talk. It’s time for action.
When we used the cabin for parties back when we were still at school, JJ and I scoped out all the different ways to escape the rooms upstairs so we could fuck the girls and duck out before they wanted cuddles and sweet nothings whispered in their ears. I can’t bear to look at my kid’s door as I pass back through the hall and head for the window in the last bedroom. It takes seventy-five seconds from climbing out the window to opening my car door and not one sound was made.
I don’t bring the engine fully to life and roll away from the cabin until I’m near the main road and no one will hear me and then I’ll let it roar.
Glancing continuously in the rear-view mirror, my heart is thumping waiting for headlights to come up behind me.
After five minutes, I start to relax. If anyone heard me leave, they would have caught me up by now, or at the least they would have burned up my phone.
Pushing my foot down on the gas, I push the speed limit and hope there aren’t any cops lurking around. Visions of Ellis putting his hands on India keeps my foot down and when I come up to the turn off for the club, I pull over and grip the steering wheel so hard, I swear I hear it crack. I’ve got to release this rage, I need to go in there with a clear head, I need him focused on me and no one else.
“I knew you’d slip out, I guess we really are brother and sister.”
My head nearly hits the roof as I jump in my seat when movement catches my eye in the rear-view mirror. Harper sits up and then proceeds to climb through to the front.
“You slipped JJ? Or is he back there too?”
“I don’t think this is the time for jokes,” she scolds. “But, no, he’s not. He thinks I went to bed.”
Her voice drops but she doesn’t feel guilty. Determination is clearly written on her face. It takes over every emotion she should be feeling, and it goads you into making stupid decisions most of the time
.
“JJ’s going to kill you himself and then he’s going to kill me,” I mutter.
“I’m not stupid, Leo. I know you’re going to give yourself up to save India. If you let me go with you, I can save them all.”
I hear her, but I ignore her. Shaking my head, there’s no way on earth I would agree to that. Ellis’s obsession with her is too dangerous to gain an upper hand, plus, he wouldn’t let me get away with killing his brother just for her.
“Leo, we both know it’s us he wants and we’re the ones who can end this. Don’t stop me from going with you.”
Fuck. I shift in my seat, half facing her and lock eyes with her.
“Fine, but you use your fucking head. It’s a very high possibility he’s going to kill me, don’t do anything fucking stupid to prevent it. You do everything you can to get yourself out and India if I can’t. You hear me?”
I guess I am that selfish I will use anyone, even my sister, to get my girl back.
“I hear you.”
“Because this is our only shot to take him out. Even if I go down, Zach and the twins, everyone is inside, I can buy them some time to get the upper hand, they’ll know what to do. Get you and India and get out. Get her out.”
“Okay, Leo. I get you.” She frowns. “You’re really planning on dying for her, aren’t you?”
Gulping, I don’t hide the truth from her and say, “If that’s what it comes to, yes. Rayna needs her.”
“She needs a dad too.”
“Girls need a mom more.”
Her snort is patronising and fucking loud. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. Kids need both parents, one isn’t above the other.”
“Are we really going to argue this out now?”
Being her stubborn self, it takes a moment before she shakes her head and crosses her arms over her chest.
“We’ll walk from here and call him. We’ll get him to come out to us, it’ll give us little but some time to see how many men we’re walking into and what it’s like inside.”
“Okay. I guess it’s as good as any plan.”
“Plans never go to plan.”
“Plans are shit.”
She’s fucking weird, but it brings a smile to my face and I hope it isn’t the last one I wear.
“Come on,” I say, opening my door.
I leave the keys on the seat and slam the door the shut. Harper follows suit and astounds me that she doesn’t look scared. She’s ready for this. She’s ready to fix a problem she feels she helped create. I walk with my head flung back gazing up at the stars. There are always so many out here for you to see. India loves to lay watching them, imagining what it’s like up there in the sky. I’m doing this so she gets to see another starry night. The gates are locked when we come to a stop outside them and no one is around like I thought they’d be.
“You should call him, he called from Zach’s phone, didn’t he?”
Nodding, I take her phone and bring up Zachery’s number in her contacts list.
I listen to it ring out for five beats and then his voice fills my ear and I grip onto the phone too hard.
“Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?”
If I could grasp onto his sarcastic, grimy voice, I would, and I would throttle it.
“It’s Leo, I’m standing outside, you want me you’re going to have to let me in.”
His breath catches down the line and I bite down on my tongue. I’ll take whatever is done to me, as long as she gets out, I’ll take it all.
I shove the phone in Harper’s pocket and thankfully she doesn’t question it. It’s not like I’m going to need it.
“You’ve got less than a minute to change your mind,” she says quietly.
“So do you,” I point out.
“Looks like we’re doing this together then.” She shrugs, and I watch her prepare for whatever is to come at her. She looks more like our dad every day; her shoulders press back like his do when he’s rising above whatever worries he has. Her eyes stone over, not showing any fear or weakness. I understand why dad wanted to travel to Mercy to bring her home, she’s his mini me in so many ways.
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re amazing. I hope you live and I’m glad you married my best friend, knowing you both, I know you belong together.”
“Thanks.” She smiles. “And for what it’s worth, I like having you as a brother. I’d hate to lose you so soon. Plus the whole explaining how I joined you on your mission to become a martyr to your parents won’t be good for my mental health.”
I can’t help it, I laugh. Her smart mouth is quick and is hilarious, even if she is talking about my soon to be death.
The door slams open from the bar and Ellis walks out, faltering when he sees Harper beside me. He’s just got all his Christmases and Birthdays all at once.
“Keep your head,” she says to me under her breath.
“Use your head,” I throw back at her. “Play him and get out. Don’t worry about me, don’t try and save me, and make sure my kid knows I love her when she’s old enough to understand.”
Her hand slips in mine and I don’t pull away. I give it a squeeze and a life we could have shared together growing up hits me like a freight train and I close my eyes for a beat to enjoy having a sister. I wonder what she would have been like as a kid if she were living with us. Mom always wanted a daughter, she would have had a field day buying pink shit like she does for Rayna. That’s if she could handle being a step-mom all those years ago. Still, it’s time we’ll never get back and it’s time we won’t share in the future.
“Look who came to her senses and looks as beautiful as ever,” he hollers with such glee it’s creepy when he takes her in.
It’s her turn to squeeze my hand, and then she lets go, stepping forward closer to the gate.
“I’ve kept you waiting long enough,” she purrs as if she’s actually happy to see him.
His shoulders sag with relief slightly and the corner of his mouth lightly turns up with fucking glee having her in his sights. I notice these things because I feel the same when I have my eyes on India, how I’m about to feel in a few moments when I walk in the bar and see her again.
“I should apologise for my actions at the hospital, I didn’t wish for you to see any more violence, I got carried away having you all in my sight.”
I cock an eyebrow and I can feel Harper’s shock pouring off her like a heatwave over the horizon. We all knew Ellis was bat shit crazy, but this is something else. I’m starting to think he has multiple personalities.
“You shot my step-mom,” Harper scolds him with little conviction as not to piss him off.
“Come on, babe. I apologised. Now, tell me why you came,” he says, all the while never taking his eyes off her.
“Because you want me,” she says, unsure. “Don’t you? I mean, that’s all I’ve been hearing.”
He goes to lurch forward and stops himself, thinking better of it.
“Of course I do.”
“Then open the gates, it’s getting late and I’ve had a long day. I’m tired.”
He tosses the keys at me and before I can catch them, he’s withdrawing his gun from the back of his jeans and aiming it straight for me.
“Don’t think because I’m distracted with her my anger for you is being pushed to the side. We have plenty of time and we’re going to have so much fun.”
As long as India is fine and untouched, he can do what he wants.
As soon as the gates are open, he locks his arm around Harper’s neck and pulls her against him.
She scrunches her nose and tries to pull away. “You smell awful, did you drown in liquor?” she accuses.
“Me and some girl, Victoria I think she said her name was, was playing a little game, it got out of hand and a drink was spilled. It was nothing,” he says like it really was nothing.
Fuck.
Another one to look out for when I step inside. I hope for the sanity of my little brother, that his girl,
or whatever she is to him, is untouched. From the stench coming from Ellis, I doubt it was a standard sized glass of drink. It smells more like the whole bottle.
“You,” he grunts, pointing his fucking gun at me. “Walk, now. Try anything funny and I’ll put a bullet in your baby momma’s sweet face. I’ve just been admiring it, she’s quite the looker, isn’t she?”
I lock my jaw and bite very fucking hard on my lip to keep my mouth shut and walk up in front of him. Not too fast and not too slow. I do nothing that will upset this fucking fruit loop.
India
Unless I’m mistaken, the person on the other end of the phone sounded a lot like Leo. Cas wouldn’t let him make calls to Ellis. He’d make them himself, not wanting his son and his hot temper to make things worse.
It could have been Cas but why would Ellis go outside? He’s out of his mind but I don’t think he has the balls to face the club alone if they’re mob handed outside.
His men haven’t followed him out, they’ve stayed inside, keeping their guns solely on Lost Souls. They don’t move, they don’t even say a word. Their silence is worse than any threats they could make.
Taking deep breaths, in and out, long and drawn, I will my hands to stop shaking and my legs to quit going numb.
Two assholes are still keeping both their guns on Zachery and mom’s whimpers are gaining too much attention from a certain Crow who looks like he hasn’t bathed in months. I don’t think he even blinks while he stares at her.
Silently, I try to convey it’s going to be okay to her, but she’s losing it and not noticing me. Her eyes are on Zachery and all I can hear in my head is her moaning about him joining the club years ago.
She never wanted him to join, it was dad who pushed for it and he didn’t even have to push that hard, Zach couldn’t wait to wear the patch. The same as Leo, JJ, the twins, they all couldn’t wait. There’s no denying she loves my dad, but she has no love for the club. She tolerates some of the brothers and flat out ignores the others. She’s known for it and I don’t think it bothers her one bit.
Which is why when Leo freaking Jackson is shoved through the door and into two waiting Crows, my heart breaks because he’s here for me, and also because he’ll do what he has to for the patch on his leather fucking cut just like my mom knows my dad would. All I’ve been hearing from Ellis is how he’s going to kill Leo and now he has him right where he wants him. Damn him.
His One Regret: Sons Of Lost Souls MC Book Four Page 4