I felt remnants of his touch all over my body as I remembered every inch of him. I was never the type to fall so hard, so fast. It was unusual for me to be in love with a man I had only known a month.
"Yes Lawd, he is so fine. He makes this sister speak in tongues."
Tasha shook her head. She knew I was gone. "Girl, I think you're going to need more than that coochie intervention. We may have to do an exorcism to get Jacob out of your system."
"Whatever." I waved at her. “It’s not like that.”
"Destiny, you should have told me about him as soon as you met him. I could have been checking him out to make sure he's on the up and up. Now, you’re all in your feelings and it may be too late."
"I didn’t want to start a new relationship playing games. I want to be able to trust my man."
"That's all fine and well, but the truth shall set you free from all binds. Just like tonight, you have no clue as to what he is doing or who he is doing it with, while you are sitting here with your cousin that you’ve been neglecting for years."
"You're right," I admitted. “On both issues.”
"I know you’ll always love me,” Tasha gushed. “I just don’t want you to get caught up with this rich guy," she added in a serious tone.
"I don't want to get caught up either. I have so much going for myself right now. Being drawn back into a relationship where I’m doing the most is the last thing I need. And, being head over heels for a man that puts work, and whatever else, before me and my kids is like going back to Montie."
"Yes, and you know how that story ends. You need to stay grounded. The last time we talked, you said you rededicated yourself to church. Use your faith to keep you on the right track."
"Yeah." I sat frozen.
I wished I could say my infatuation with Jacob hadn’t altered my newfound spiritual walk. I wanted to say my faith kept me pure. Aside from the one sin of reliving my fantasy of falling into Jacob’s bed at the drop of a hat, I had been walking the straight and narrow.
I wanted to say many things that I couldn’t, because they simply were not true. I spent the past four Sunday mornings lying in bed, seduced by Jacob’s voice. He'd offered to fly me to Florida on his private jet, but I managed to keep the distance between us, afraid of falling deeper in love with him.
Tasha tapped her fingers on the table. With a half-smile, she said, "Okay Destiny, you need to get all of this off your mind for a while. Let’s go dancing. Then tomorrow, when we’re not sipping on the devil’s water, we’ll have a heart to heart about if Jacob is healthy for you."
"That sounds good, except I'll pass on dancing." I shook my head. I loved to dance around in private, but I could not dance a lick.
“Come on, Destiny. Let your hair down and let’s have some fun.”
"What are you trying to prove by getting me on the dance floor, anyway? Don’t you think my pride has been damaged enough for one day?" I laughed and she joined in with my laughter.
The hotel's deejay, who had been playing what sounded like elevator music all night, put on Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies”, and Tasha began gyrating in her chair, grooving to the beat.
"Oh, honey, it’s true you have no rhythm, but that’s not what dancing is about. It’s about your body becoming a piece of fluid artwork and losing yourself in the music. It doesn’t matter how you look doing it, as long as you feel good doing it."
"I don't know about that," I said and took another swig of my drink.
"I promise, if you go out with me, you will feel better in the morning." Tasha flipped her long, straight hair over her slim shoulders. “You can even praise dance, if that will make you feel better about it.”
I giggled and tossed back the rest of my drink. "You are too much, Tasha. That would be blasphemy."
"Yeah, but honey, if we can't have fun in this life, what's the use in living it?" she asked.
Looking at her gyrate and groove in her chair made me remember why I loved Tasha so much. She was the most carefree person one could ever meet. She had a way of making people feel like their problems could be talked, drank, danced, or bible-quoted away.
"You do know you are committable to a mental hospital, right?" I told her with a wave of my hand.
As my hand waved in the air, I examined my empty ring finger with mixed emotions. I was no longer Montie's wife. The budding relationship I thought Jacob and I had now was questionable, at best. I felt single and alone.
"Shoot, after a good dance partner puts his moves on you, you may be committable to a mental hospital, too. It may help you forget all about what’s his name?"
"Jacob," I said, imagining the way his handsome face contorted as he eased inside of me the first time. Forever imprinted in my mind was the image of the pleasure in his hazel green eyes. I couldn't shake him if I wanted to. The thought of him had me buzzed in all the right places. "It is Jacob, and honey the way that man flows through my veins, I doubt I will forget him anytime soon."
"Just hopeless," she said, grabbing her purse. "Come on, let’s go."
"Okay," I relented. I dropped a tip on the table and we walked to the car. When we got to the car, Tasha stopped by the driver's door without unlocking it.
"What is it?" I wondered what made her stop and stare at me.
"I hope you are keeping in mind that Jacob could be some privileged man that's only looking for a little exotic fling. Those types of men have a different girl every day of the week. They get their fantasies fulfilled by us, and then go and marry a white girl."
"I've thought about that. I don't think Jacob is like that."
"I'm just putting it out there for you to think about." She popped the lock to the car and got in.
I didn’t appreciate her insinuating I was some exotic fling for Jacob, but what if she was right? I flung the passenger door open and plopped down on the seat. I didn’t speak a word as we took the drive to Lapidus Lounge. I didn’t know if Tasha took the scenic route, so I could think, or so we could clear our minds and sober up, but it was definitely a long ride.
"We're here," Tasha said, as she pulled up to the lounge. She touched up her makeup in the mirror.
I took out my makeup bag and freshened up my face, as well. I was a little uncomfortable with the scenery once we walked in. The mixed crowd was thick and kind of bourgeois; a little different from the parties I was used to, where down to earth people greeted you with a smile.
Ritzy acting chicks looked me up and down, as if I didn’t belong in their atmosphere. Preoccupied men looked right through me as they laughed and talked amongst themselves. I’d just as soon be in my suite going over paperwork for my meeting the next day than standing around with this bunch of assholes.
Tasha, on the other hand, didn’t seem fazed by the reckless eyeballing by the women. The first tall, dark and handsome guy to come along and offer her a drink had swept her away. I watched as she did everything from the salsa to Mediterranean dances, for the next thirty minutes. I was just about to go get her to tell her I was ready to go, when I felt a familiar breeze blow right past me. I turned in the direction of the draft and sure enough found the source.
Jacob.
My mouth flew open with surprise.
I didn’t know whether to be excited or pissed the hell off that he was in the lounge, and not busy working on some highly important project.
Gravity pulled me toward him. Gliding in his direction, I paid close attention to the company he kept. I didn’t want to barge in on his group and have them think I was some mad, black woman, but who could work against gravity?
I definitely couldn’t.
I continued toward him with a feeling of mixed emotions. On one hand, I couldn’t wait to wrap my arms around him and kiss his greedy lips. On the other, I wanted to tell him a piece of my mind. How could he think hanging out at a club was better than hiding out in my hotel room for the weekend?
My eyes popped open when an impeccably gorgeous woman, with flowin
g blond hair, slid forward and sat on his lap. She didn’t just sit on his lap; she straddled him and draped her thin arms around his neck. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought the woman, who looked like she just stepped out a model catalog, owned him. He held the mini-skirt clad, long-legged beauty in a loving embrace, as she clung to him. Their admiration for each other equally matched. Her milky skin glistened under the dim chandelier hanging over their table. Her long hair flung to one side as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his lips.
He didn’t notice I was there, as the woman drank, uninhibited, from his lips. I stood in shock as the reason he wasn’t with me was blatantly obvious. I suddenly felt naked standing there in a plain black dress and heels with a natural coat of makeup.
Jacob and I became opposing magnets, as then I felt pushed in the opposite direction. I carefully shrank away, remaining unseen. I rushed to find Tasha. When I found her, I opened my mouth but sound failed me. Words failed me. I could not speak. I just held my mouth open gasping.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" she asked, concern etched on her face. "You look like you’ve seen a ghost."
I struggled to breathe. I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door, her feet dragging behind her. When we reached outside, I coughed the crisp night's air into my lungs. She was right. I had indeed seen an evil ghost.
"Destiny, what’s going on? You’re scaring the shit out of me," Tasha asked, placing her hand on my back. "Do I need to call an ambulance for you?"
"Ja…Jacob…I just need some air."
"Is he in there?” she asked, but I couldn’t reply. “Come on, Destiny. I’m going to take you back to your hotel." She directed me to her car, and we rode in silence.
I watched as the cars passed by, with no one in Miami caring that my love life was spiraling away. That woman clutched Jacob as if he was her next breath. And, I knew what was going on.
Tasha pulled into the parking lot, put the car in park, and rushed around to help me out of the car. I walked around in a daze. I truly felt lost. I casually directed her to my hotel room, barely acknowledging where we were going. She dug in my purse to remove the hotel key and let us in.
I sunk down in the chair the minute I touched the floor in my room. I could tell that she was scared to say a word.
"Destiny…" she began.
I eventually lifted my gaze to meet hers. “Yeah.”
"Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to go out, but what happened upset you?"
"Jacob…I saw him in the lounge." I closed my eyes as the words tumbled out into reality. "He was with another woman. She was all over him."
Tasha stared at me until she had to turn away from my miserable, teary face. "First of all, you’re going to put your chin up and realize that what you saw is for the best," she fussed. “And, I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s what you need to hear.”
"You don’t get it. I don’t know why I thought you would. No one will understand how I feel," I argued.
"You have known him, what…all of five minutes?" I rolled my eyes, but allowed her to continue. "He leads another life, and you were blessed enough to find out early. You should rejoice in that. If you thought you were the only person in his life, then you were naïve. And now you know the truth."
My mind wasn’t ready to accept that. I wondered if there was a logical excuse for him to be hanging out with a woman comfortably in his lap, kissing him. I cursed myself for even going there for him, when there was no excuse. I didn’t care if we had been together only five minutes, I didn’t deserve the lies.
"But, I have strong feelings for Jacob. I told you that."
She nodded. "Oh, I know you did have strong feelings for him, but now that you know the real him, things change. Isn’t it better to see this now?"
Tasha was right. I was relieved to know I hadn’t spent years wrapped up in his lies. But, I was far from feeling better. "I don’t want to be alone tonight," I confessed, getting up to go sit on the bed. I kicked off my shoes and lay on the bed on top of the covers. “Stay here tonight, Tasha.”
Tasha smiled. "I wasn’t going anywhere, anyway."
"Thanks bestie," was the last thing I said before remembering the look on Jacob and his lover's faces as they passionately embraced one another. The pain in my heart caused my lids to close and flutter until I slowly drifted off into a sorrowful slumber.
CHAPTER SEVEN
DESTINY
Against All Rationale
I woke up at eight in the morning. I opened my eyes to see Tasha sleeping across from me on the couch. I went into the bathroom to freshen up. I needed to make my ten o'clock appointment and there wasn’t much time left.
After stepping out of the shower and getting dressed, I walked into the room. Tasha was up stirring around.
"Good morning," I spoke, brushing out my hair. "Thank you for staying last night."
She smiled, shrugging, "Hush chile. It’s no biggie. Do you feel better?"
I hesitated for a moment, and then went back to brushing my hair. "I’m not completely over it, but in time I’ll be fine." I spoke the words, hoping I would soon believe them.
“You sure will be fine. Granny didn’t make us out of straw. She built some strong, brick house women and we will not let her down.”
“You’re right about that, Tasha.” She had our grandmother’s smile, and seeing it made me smile. I stepped into my stockings, and said, "I hate to jet off, but I have this meeting."
Jacob was still going to stop by and see me after the meeting. I didn’t know how I felt about that, but I would figure it out once I saw him.
Tasha stretched and popped her muscles in her arms and back, after scrunching on the sofa all night. She walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. "I have a few errands to run today, anyway. I’ll call you later," she said.
"Okay." I pulled from the hug and slid on my black pencil skirt. "Talk to you soon."
She left the hotel, and I finished dressing in a ruffled shirt, pulled my hair back into a long ponytail, and put on my glasses. I glanced in the mirror. Minus my weary eyes, I looked professional; I just hoped my best foot would move forward for the meeting.
I hurried out of my room and down the elevator, heading out to my car. Driving to MOCA, my heart beat fast as I thought about what I was going to say to seal the deal. I wasn’t usually nervous when it came to meeting potential clients, but this was a big deal. I had to make a good impression. A victory in business would counterbalance what was going on in my personal life.
"Arriving at address 125th Street on the right," the GPS voice said.
I saw the huge building and smiled. I parked and walked inside MOCA with confidence in my stride. Susie was at the door waiting for me, when I arrived on her floor.
"Ms. Baker, I’m glad to finally meet you.”
"I really appreciate you taking the time to meet with me on a Saturday. You must be very busy, Ms. Alexander."
"No problem. I’ve heard good things about your firm. So tell me about all of this good press you plan to use to take MOCA to the next level," she stated, once we were past the pleasantries.
I took a seat in an oversized black leather chair that was in front of her oversized desk. She sat pensively in her boss’ chair with a Scarface-intense stare, expecting my response.
"By the time I’m finished recreating your image, you will not recognize your own company on paper, and that’s a good thing. I’m going to portray your art museum’s already great image as a source of art and literature on an international platform. People who have been here will want to come again just to see what they missed the last time. New visitors will flock to your museum whenever they travel to Florida."
Breathless: In Love With an Alpha Billionaire Page 3