Natural Satisfaction (Au Naturel Trilogy Book 3)

by Anna Durand

  But Heidi wouldn't go on a date with me.

  Had I ever actually asked her for a date? "Have dinner with me," I'd said when I approached Heidi minutes after she'd arrived at the resort. That wasn't a question. It was a statement, like I planned to throw her over my shoulder and take her back to my cave for a dinner of barbecued squirrel with pine nuts on the side. Was I being a dick today? No, I'd treated Heidi with kid gloves because I worried about freaking her out.

  Maybe that was the problem. I was being too nice. She'd liked me yesterday when I'd told her "have dinner with me" and when I'd announced I loved whispering filthy things into a woman's ear. Last night, I held back and tried to show her my tender side. Maybe I was going about this the wrong way. Heidi might respond better to my rakish side since making sweet love to her had resulted in panic.

  Couldn't hurt to try.

  But I'd relished making love to her.

  I went to Heidi's room, but she either wasn't there or refused to let on that she was. Knocking, even banging, on her door resulted in silence. Since I'd already changed into my off-duty clothes, I trotted downstairs to eat breakfast. Heidi wasn't there. I ate fast and split.

  Outside the guest house, I bumped into Ollie. "Have you seen Heidi?"

  He smirked. "Only when she was running out of your wagon with her clothes on backwards."

  "You better not have said anything to her about that."

  "I'm the good one, Damian, remember? You're the bad boy."

  "Does that mean you haven't said anything to Heidi about how she, uh, was in my wagon with her clothes on the wrong way?"

  My best friend snickered. "I kind of doubt she went into your little love nest with her clothes like that. But no, I didn't say a thing to Heidi."

  I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "You don't know where she is now."

  "No." He tipped his head to the side, studying me. "You like her a lot, don't you?"

  "Mind your own business, Ollie."

  I walked away—okay, stomped away—without giving Ollie a chance to say anything else that would make me irritable. Some guests were already on the lawn, including Ruth and Sylvester. I flopped onto a chaise beside them.

  "Good morning, sunshine," Ruth said. She scrutinized me for a moment, then said, "I see storm clouds brewing around you. What's wrong? Did you and Heidi have a fight?"

  "We're not dating, Ruth."

  "You can have an argument even if you're not dating."

  "I don't want to talk about Heidi."

  Ruth clucked her tongue. "You two definitely had a fight."

  Grumbling, I shoved myself up out of the chair. "I'm going for a walk."

  "If we see Heidi, we'll let her know where you went."

  I might've actually growled, like a wild animal.

  Rather than heading for the nature trail, I veered across the lawn to take the almost-hidden path to my pilot project. Lenny and Georgie nickered when they saw me, but oddly, they were already standing at the fence near the gate.

  Then I noticed why.

  Heidi stood at the fence, half-hidden in the shadows of the surrounding trees. She kept a six-inch gap between her and the fence and bit her lip while she watched the horses. And she'd gotten her clothes on the right way.

  "There you are," I said.

  She swung her head around to stare at me. "Damian? I thought it was your day off."

  "It is. How did you know that?"

  "Well, I…" She hunched her shoulders. "I asked Ollie."

  "Because you're dying to spend more time with me, alone. That's cool." I rested an arm on the top bar of the fence, facing Heidi. "Ever have sex in the woods?"

  "No dating, Damian."

  "I mentioned sex, not dating." Leaning toward her, I gave her my best suggestive smile. "Unless you're ready for that upgrade."

  "What upgrade?"

  "From sex to dating. I told you we could start with getting it on, then you can upgrade to having dinner with me."

  She crossed her arms over those gorgeous tits. "I'm done with men."

  "But you had your way with me last night. That was the best blow job in history."

  "This was a bad idea."

  Heidi started to walk away, but I snagged her arm. "What was a bad idea?"

  "Coming here to see the horses. I should've guessed you'd show up. Are you stalking me?"

  "I had no idea you would be here. You're terrified of horses."

  "Thought I'd try a little more immersion therapy."

  Georgie nudged my arm, so I scratched under his chin. "Did you even pet one of these guys?"

  "No, I've only been here for a couple minutes."

  "At least give Georgie some love before you go." I wanted her to give me some too, but I kind of doubted that would happen.

  Heidi stretched out a hand to stroke Georgie's neck, then scratched under his chin.

  She turned to walk away again.

  "I'll see you later, Heidi, when you get desperate to kiss me." I said those words in a teasing tone, and I knew she got that because she threw me a grudging smile over her shoulder.

  And I watched her ass while she walked away.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Heidi

  I stalked back to the lawn and flumped onto an Adirondack chair. Nobody was playing miniten or any other game at the moment, though a handful of people sat in chairs or on the grass in small groups, talking and laughing. I didn't feel like laughing. Damian had me feeling…uncomfortable. Why had he felt the need to turn a night of mind-blowing sex into an intensely intimate encounter? Why couldn't he just give me amazing orgasms and leave it at that? No, he had to say sweet, sexy things and look at me like I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Instead of getting his rocks off and saying good night, he'd made love to me with a kind of tenderness no other man had ever shown me.

  That bastard.

  How was I supposed to keep pretending we weren't involved, that all I wanted was meaningless sex, if he wouldn't cooperate? Caring and sharing had never been a part of any relationship I'd ever had with a man. Even the nicest ones didn't want to cuddle after sex. None of them had ever been as patient with me or as concerned with my pleasure. I'd told Damian I trusted him, and I meant it. Even when I slammed a door in his face, he didn't get angry. He worried he'd done something wrong. And all the other things he'd said to me last night…

  We can just talk if that's what you want. Talk and sleep together, and I mean 'sleep' as in catching some Z's.

  Men never wanted that. Bang and run, that was the usual way things went. Either that or bang and fall asleep.

  This is your night, Heidi. You set the pace, you decide what you want to do, and you tell me what you want me to do.

  Damian had kept that promise. He never did anything I didn't want. If I had told him not to make love to me, I was sure he would've stopped. But I hadn't wanted him to. Even while part of me panicked, the rest of me reveled in the sweet, sensual glory of Damian loving my body.

  "Don't be shy," he'd said last night. " If there's something you want me to do that I'm not doing, tell me."

  Then he'd assured me he would never push me too far sexually, and he'd know exactly what I needed and when. I couldn't deny he had known, almost like he could read my mind. Maybe a palm reading genuinely did provide supernatural insight.

  There are many kinds of hot sex, and I'm about to give you the kind you need the most, even if you don't realize it yet.

  Had I needed sweet, sensual, loving sex? Since I'd never experienced that kind before, I couldn't say for sure whether I'd needed it. Oh, who was I kidding? I'd needed it, he gave it to me, and now I had to deal with the consequences of letting him make love to me.

  One of the last things he'd said to me before we fell asleep replayed in my mind, as clearly as if he were whispering it into my ear right now. I won't hurt you, not ever.

  God, I wished he hadn't been so…wonderful. Wal
king away from him had been way too hard, and it gave me a sharp pain in the back of my throat. I barely knew Damian, but I felt like he knew me, for sure. Should I give him a chance?

  A chill shivered over my skin, but a luxurious warmth swept in behind it.

  If that indicated something, I refused to think about what it was.

  Damian sauntered out of the woods.

  That man looked as steamy-hot in jeans and a gray T-shirt as he did in his gypsy-vampire outfit. The way he had his shirt untucked made me want to push my hands up under the fabric and run them over his smooth chest. God, I loved his body. Even seeing him with clothes on made me want to lick him from head to toe, especially that beautiful dick.

  Okay, I wanted him. The slickness between my thighs would've contradicted me if I'd claimed I didn't want him anymore. Getting it on with Damian had only intensified my lust for him. Avoiding the man seemed like the only prudent choice.

  But I didn't want to stay away. I wanted him naked, this time with me on top. The thought terrified me, but also got me even wetter. Maybe I could have sex with him again, just once, purely to satisfy my craving for his body.

  Yeah, right, I'd screw him one more time and then I'd be over it.

  What kind of idiot have you become, woman?

  Damian started to turn left, toward the far end of the lawn. But then he saw me, and his mouth slid into a sexy smile. He waved.

  I waved back without thinking about it, spurred by a politeness reflex.

  He took it as an invitation and jogged across the lawn toward where I sat.

  Oh crap. I could not see or speak to Damian when I was still turned on by fantasies of him.

  "What's up, Heidi?" Damian asked as he stopped beside my chair.

  "Nothing. You waved, so I waved. It wasn't an invitation."

  "But you wanted me to come over here." He bent to rest his hand on my chair's arm, his face way too close to mine. "Let's go for a walk. Just the two of us. I promise not to do anything you don't want me to do." He slanted in more, moving his lips to within millimeters of my ear. "I may not be awesome at everything, but I will give you the best dating you've ever had. My hand-holding will make you shiver with anticipation, and when I put my arm around your shoulders, you'll get so hot for me it'll make you weak in the knees."

  "That's silly. Holding hands is not erotic."

  "It is the way I do it. And I haven't even gotten to the kissing yet. One peck on the cheek will have you begging me to make you come."

  My sarcastic laugh came out as a splutter. "Does this kind of thing work for you? Dirty hand-holding? Seriously? That's ridiculous."

  "It's all in the delivery."

  He picked up my hand, simply cradling it in his.

  Warmth rushed through me.

  But when he touched his lips to my cheek, I almost gasped. Which was idiotic. A chaste kiss on the cheek did not make me weak with lust. Except my legs did feel a touch wobbly like if I tried to stand up, I'd fall back onto the chair.

  "Come with me," Damian murmured. "Please, Heidi, say yes."

  "I… What are we going to do on this so-called walk?"

  He chuckled. "Walk and talk, that's all."

  "Well, in that case… all right."

  Damian straightened and offered me his hands, helping me get up. He settled a palm on my lower back as we strolled toward the nature trail.

  And damn, that gentle touch sent a delicate tingle chasing over my skin.

  "What did you mean 'it's all in the delivery'?" I asked while we headed into the woods. "You barely kissed my cheek."

  "But the things I said and the way I said them got you worked up. That's what I meant." He danced his fingertips over my spine, the touch light and teasing. "Sometimes the right words spoken the right way are more enticing than actions."

  I couldn't deny that was true, but only with Damian had I ever experienced it.

  "When I talk dirty to you," he said, "you'll feel it inside your body like I'm fucking you."

  After the way he so easily turned me on with his words a minute ago, I couldn't deny he might do exactly what he suggested. My body awakened at the mere thought of Damian whispering dirty things in my ear.

  We strolled down the main trail hand in hand like he'd suggested, and I found myself relaxing even though we didn't speak a word to each other. It felt nice to spend time with a guy without the pressure of expectations. Damian didn't expect anything, I knew that. But I kept assuming he'd turn into a dick like my ex—like all my exes. Why did I keep picking losers?

  I hadn't picked Damian. He had chosen me, though he let me set the pace.

  Maybe we were kind of—almost, but not quite—dating.

  "Which trail do you want to take now?" he asked as we approached a fork in the path.

  One fork led to the hot spring. The other path, the main trail, headed toward the lake but had some offshoots that led to areas that were great for seeing the wildlife and scenery. If I chose the hot spring trail, that might imply I wanted to get naked with Damian in the steamy blue water. Okay, I did want that. The second I thought of it, I needed to go there with him. But I shouldn't. Not yet.

  "Straight ahead," I told him. "But you can choose after that."

  "Okay."

  We ambled down the trail a little further, then turned onto a side path that I knew led to a small meadow where wildflowers bloomed. Still, we didn't talk. Damian held my hand, that was all. He smiled at me too, whenever I glanced at him, but it was a soft, sweet smile. I'd never been a big fan of holding hands, but with Damian, I found I loved it. He kept rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb, gently, and while we wandered toward the meadow, he threaded his fingers through mine.

  Once we got to the meadow, he suggested we lie in the grass, amid the wildflowers, and relax. I already felt super relaxed, thanks to his sweetness, but I didn't tell him so.

  We stretched out on the grass with a blue sky above us.

  His hand stayed linked with mine.

  Damian shifted in place like he was getting more comfortable. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

  "Since when do you need permission? I told you all kinds of personal stuff the other day."

  "But you're still dealing with last night, so I figured I'd be a nice guy instead of an asshat and ask permission before grilling you."

  "That's very considerate," I said with only part sarcasm. He was a genuinely nice guy. "Fine, grill away."

  "Why did you dump Ollie to go back to your ex? Why did you break up with that other guy in the first place?"

  A wave of cold swept through me, raising all the hairs on my arms and sinking deep under my skin. Nobody had asked me those questions before. I'd never wanted to talk about it except to tell Mara and Ollie that I kept going back to Grant because he always seemed sincere when he begged me to forgive him. Should I tell Damian everything? What if, after hearing about it, he didn't want to be with me anymore?

  Not that it mattered. I couldn't get involved with him.

  So, uh, why was I holding his hand?

  My voice had a mind of its own and decided to tell him everything. "I have a habit of picking the wrong guys. I convinced myself I should be with Ollie because he's such a sweetie, and I knew he'd never hurt me the way other guys have. But I had no business getting involved with him when I'd just broken up with Grant."

  "Ollie says things were good when he was with you."

  "Yeah, it was good. So of course, I trashed it." I pulled my hand free of Damian's and hugged myself. "Grant can be very charming, especially when he's making me believe he loves me even when I know how many times he's cheated. Shelby told her boyfriend about me and Ollie, and her boyfriend told somebody else who happened to know Grant. When Grant found out I was with someone else, he called me and begged me to take him back."

  "He used his charm to convince you."

  "Like I said, Grant is good at that. It was the fifth time he'd cheated on me
, that I know of, but I believed it when he said he loved me and he'd never do it again." I levered my body up into a sitting position but kept hugging myself. "Like an idiot, I fell for his lies again. For six months, I struggled to make it work with him, until I realized I'd made a huge mistake. I should never have broken up with Ollie, that's what I thought. So when the Kitten Brigade came back here for a vacation, I convinced myself I needed to win Ollie back. I think you know the rest of that story."

  "Uh-huh." Damian sat up, braced with one hand on the ground. He studied me for a moment like he was considering how to tell me what a pathetic moron I was. He didn't say that, though. Instead, he laid a hand on my knee and said, "You don't have to tell me, but I'd like to know the real reason you dumped Ollie and kept going back to Grant. It's not only because of his charm, is it?"

  Damn, sometimes I hated how perceptive Damian was. How could I hide from the truth when he kept gently guiding me toward it? Maybe I should've told him to buzz off, but instead, I did the last thing I should've wanted to do.

  I told him the truth.

  "Guess I've always felt like I don't deserve a good man," I said. "Whenever I find one, I shove him away. Ollie wasn't the first nice guy I dumped for no good reason. I have a bad habit of ditching the good ones and latching on to the assholes who have charm and sweet words on their side."

  "Why do you think you don't deserve someone who appreciates you?"

  "Because…" I dropped my face into my hands, feeling the sting of tears trying to form. I did not want to cry in front of Damian—or anyone, but especially not him.

  He pried my hands away from my face and held them sandwiched between his palms. "You don't have to tell me. But if you want to, I'll listen. I'm your friend, if you want me to be."

  Gazing into his earnest eyes, I couldn't remember why I kept pushing him away and telling him I didn't want more than friendship. Damian was so kind and patient and thoughtful. He was also drop-dead sexy and amazing in bed, not to mention a great kisser. The only other guy I'd known who had all those qualities was Ollie, though I'd never slept with him. And I'd never wanted him the way I wanted Damian.

  "I don't want to blame my parents," I said, "but they have used me as a pawn in their arguments. It always feels like they want me to choose between them. I can't do that. Whatever their faults are, they're still my parents, and I won't get rid of one of them to make the other happy. So I've tried to please them both, which just winds up with both of them getting mad, at each other and me. Guess I made up for not being able to make my parents happy by trying to make men happy. Maybe that's why I pick jerks. Maybe that's all I deserve because I'm so damn screwed up."