Everyone stood around watching as our laughter slowly died down once again. Rocky helped both of us up. I looked to Sachi again and both of us started giggling.
“I don’t understand,” Rocky said.
“I think it’s an inside joke,” Emma said.
“At least someone’s havin’ a good time,” Rocky shrugged, “are you two kids gonna behave now?”
“Yes, sir,” Sachi said, trying to stifle her giggling, “we’ll be good, sir.”
“Oh, God,” Emma said, “don’t let him get used to hearing you call him that.”
“Seems fitting to me,” Rocky said, holding his chin up.
“It’s gonna be getting dark soon,” Riviera said, “and I don’t think this snow’s gonna let up.”
“We’re going to keep moving,” Sachi said, “we still have to find out who wins the death pool.”
Colonel Riviera looked at Sachi with one eyebrow raised. Almost as if given a cue, Rocky, Manny, and Emma burst out laughing. Sachi and I joined in. Riviera looked between each of us and then gave up and strolled away.
“I don’t think all our people are here,” Rocky said, “somebody’s probably already won, anyway.”
“Not all the wagerers are with us anymore, either,” Emma said.
The laughter quieted down, the five of us all looking to each other expectantly, but nobody spoke up. It was the first time Sachi’s people had thought deeply about the friends they lost.
“I suppose we should keep going,” Sachi said.
“Right,” Rocky nodded.
Getting the group moving again was difficult. The break had allowed them to fully realize how exhausted they were. It was after four by the time we were marching again, the dark clouds growing darker. Snow continued falling, choking any sound out of the forest, as if people’s voices were trying to slog through thick grease. Falling snow made the people walking in front of the group nothing but blurry silhouettes, anything beyond them nothing but a wall of white. The thinning trees around us were caked in snow, giving them the appearance of twisted finger bones poking up through the earth. The wind maintained a steady draft, punctuated by gusts that bit like cold teeth right through my exoskeleton suit.
The solemn mood remained amongst the forty-eights and LoC Security people. Some of them began telling stories about the people they lost – the first time Rocky had hit on Olivia and how she had led him on and made him show up at a gay bar for their date and then never showed up herself.
The time Pedro had gone on an ayahuasca retreat with nine other people from the cartel, only to have the shaman rob all of them while they were tripping. That hadn’t ended well for the shaman after they caught up to him a week later.
And how César had fooled Manny when he was first moving up in the organization that everyone used a secret handshake. César taught Manny a ridiculous, complicated handshake that he tried using on many of their superiors for three weeks before someone finally told him he’d been pranked.
This eulogizing had the grave humor of any normal funeral. During the story trading I spotted Major Ellison and Corporal Roman making disgusted glances at the forty-eights. I imagined they didn't much care for the humanization of people they viewed as monstrous. I added little to the celebration, instead being distracted by the invisible presence of Evita. She didn’t speak as we walked, but I could feel her smirking at me from over my shoulder. I could hear quiet snorts of derision at the loss of more mortals. Her disapproval at this waste of time.
Sachi finally called for a halt at around nine o’clock. The group was quick to huddle together tightly – even the people who had been shy about doing this the night before. The snow covered them before they even had time to fall asleep. Once again it was a restless night, with children sobbing, grownups muttering in frustration as they brushed snow off themselves.
Despite my exhaustion, sleep remained elusive. Evita haunted my mind, always a shadow that slipped away when I looked toward it. A mild migraine came on – a deep, low throb right behind my eyes – causing me to sweat and feel even colder. Shivering became uncontrollable, rattling against the sweat-dampened cushioning inside my exo suit.
“I’ll keep you warm,” Evita whispered, her shadow right outside the corner of my eye.
I was shivering too much to even answer, yet somehow I did feel warmer. After that I was able to approach something close to sleep, but not close enough that time didn’t seem to drag on as morning slowly approached.
At six thirty in the morning, when it was still dark out, my head continued throbbing. I sat up, two inches of snow tumbling from my visor. I scraped away enough frost that I could see. A ways out into the woods, I saw three people standing near a tree. Two of them were LoC Security people. Even with night vision, it was difficult to see them through the falling snow, but I judged them to be Major Ellison and Corporal Roman. It took fully two minutes before I recognized the design of the third person’s exo suit – it was Liberty Protection.
This fact didn’t register too deeply before I laid back down, squeezing my eyes shut, hoping for relief from the headache. Another hour crawled by before I sat back up again, finding most of the forty-eights and LoC Security people already up. The headache was still going strong, Evita’s presence still haunting me, but I staggered to my feet anyway. The refugees didn’t wait long to get up either, brushing snow off themselves, and by eight o’clock we were on the move again.
The snow wasn’t letting up. I walked with the people in front this time, using our exo suits to cut paths through the snow, which was now waist deep in some spots. The wind had picked up, gusts reaching at least sixty miles an hour at times, blowing enough snow around I couldn’t see more than a couple feet in front of me. The sky was blotted out, nothing more than a haze of blowing snow. Everything appeared gray, light from the sun barely penetrating the thick, dry flakes that filled the air like a solid mass.
My bionic eye told me that it was twenty-two degrees below zero. The deep snow actually guarded my feet from the piercing wind, but the suit did little to keep numbness from creeping into my fingers, ears, and nose. Bitter air breathed renewed pain into my migraine, further adding to the blurriness that had already consumed the world around me.
At eleven in the morning we came upon a snow drift that went almost to the tops of the small trees. Sachi had to call a pause to the march as the people in exo suits attempted to dig through it. The pile reached up to twelve feet in the middle.
“Damn, I woulda loved this when I was a kid,” agent Brie said as she used her hands to push snow away in front of her.
“This is my first-time seeing snow,” Emma said, working right beside her, “so far I’m not seeing what the draw is.”
“I’ve lived in the mountains all my life,” Brie said, “the snow can be very beautiful when it’s not tryin’ to kill you.”
“The same could be said about Emma,” Manny said.
“Just Emma?” Savita asked.
“Oh, and you, of course,” Manny said, “my apologies.”
“If you keep that up, I won’t teach you the real secret handshake,” Savita said.
“I’ve already caught on to the ‘real’ handshake,” Manny said, “only I don’t think it involves the hands at all.”
“Has Emma taught that handshake to Beebee yet?” Savita asked.
“What handshake?” agent Brie asked.
Everyone started laughing. Brie stopped digging, looking to Emma for an explanation.
“Don’t worry about it, dear,” Emma said, “there’s no handshake,” she looked to Rocky, “especially not anymore.”
The laughter died down. Everyone continued digging for a few minutes in quiet until agent Brie said, “I feel like I’m being made the butt of an inside joke.”
Emma stopped digging, glancing at Rocky again before turning to Brie and said, “we had a wager going on to see who could get laid first. I was supposed to do you and Rocky, Olivia. But she’s dead now.”
Ever
yone stayed quiet again for a few moments as we dug until Brie said, “that’s why you started hanging out with me?”
Emma looked to Rocky and said, “see what you did?” She turned back to Brie and said, “It was just a stupid joke we did while making this stupid march. Don’t take it personally.”
“Well, I thought we were actually friends,” Brie said, sounding hurt. She turned to Rocky and then said, “if you’d really wanted to show him up, you could have just asked me. I would’ve gladly played along.”
Everyone stopped digging at looked toward her. It was difficult to know her demeanor with the visor down on her helmet.
“We coulda just lied and said we did it,” Brie said, turning back to Emma, “and won the bet for you.”
Everyone stayed quiet for a beat before bursting into laughter. Agent Brie joined in a few moments later, Emma putting an arm around the shoulders of Brie’s suit. The LoC Security people waiting by the refugees watched us, their faces obscured by the visors of their helmets.
The laughter started to die down. Suddenly the snow from the drift collapsed into the trail we were digging, filling it all back in. The laughter came even harder. Savita held her arms out and dropped backwards into the pile of snow, getting buried in the dry powder. Rocky sprinted toward the drift and leapt, the exo suit propelling him almost to the top, where he landed and sank deep inside, the group now howling in laughter, muffled by their helmets. Manny followed suit, holding his hands in front of him as if diving into water, becoming engulfed in the snow.
It took another forty-five minutes for us to cut a path through the snow drift, with an additional ten for the refugees to walk through the narrow crevice in single file.
By one in the afternoon, the snowfall let up considerably, but the wind continued as strong as ever, blowing up enough snow to keep visibility low. My headache receded to a low, humming pain, enough to allow me to think straight, which brought back the memory of what I had seen early in the morning – Major Ellison and Corporal Roman talking with someone from Liberty Protection.
I couldn’t be sure that what I had seen wasn’t just a delirious dream brought on by exhaustion and the deteriorating architecture in my brain. I pulled Colonel Riviera onto another radio frequency in order to talk privately and asked her about this.
“Are you saying that Forrester might have sent a spy to trail us?” Riviera asked after I told her what I’d seen.
“I don’t know,” I said, “it’s possible. But I was thinking…we never found out what happened with that Frank Davis guy.”
Riviera stayed quiet for a moment and then said, “you’ve been sensing the dissatisfaction in my ranks, I’m sure.”
“Do you think they’d go so far as to collude with LP?” I asked.
“Ellison, maybe,” Riviera said, “but not Roman. Especially with a rapist like Francis Davis.”
I glanced to Aveena, still trudging along with Yukiko in her arms, Akira trailing obediently behind her.
“Roman didn’t seem convinced that it was non-consensual,” I said.
“What do you think I should do?” Riviera asked.
“You’re asking me?”
“Everything I’ve done…it only seems to make people distrust me more.”
“The problem is,” I said, “we need them too much. If you do nothing, we might wake up one morning to find that they just left. If you come down too hard, they might do the same. Or they’ll just not feel any need to remain loyal to our group, much less to you personally.” I paused a moment and then said, “I can have Ellison killed.”
“What?”
“You said Roman would be more likely to stick around,” I said, “that Ellison is the problem here. We might be better off definitely losing one of them than maybe losing both. Or worse, having Ellison sow the seeds of mutiny amongst others, or even attempt to-”
“I’m not havin’ anyone killed,” Riviera said, “why would you even consider that?”
“Because you’re finally thinking straight,” Evita’s voice said, “you’re finally viewing things with the sort of ruthless logic that will get things done.”
“I’m just putting the option on the table,” I said.
“I’m gonna talk with Corporal Roman,” Riviera said, a bit of disgust in her tone, “I think I can get ‘em to admit the truth.”
“Sure,” I said.
“Don’t tell Sachi about this,” Riviera ordered.
“I won’t.”
Colonel Riviera switched back to the group frequency and veered off in the direction of Corporal Roman. Major Ellison watched as she sidled up to the two of them. I couldn’t see his face through his visor, but I could just imagine a look of nervousness and anger, wondering what Riviera might know – and worrying about what Corporal Roman might tell her.
“She’ll see the rationale in your suggestion before all this is over,” Evita said, “she’ll come around, just like you.”
At four in the afternoon, gray sky becoming even dimmer and wind still blowing snow up, Sachi had Savita took another census. It came up three short, but nobody had reported anyone missing. I knew it wasn’t uncommon for someone to fall into the snow without anyone noticing, and just quietly die. I had seen it in blizzard marches in past lives.
Sachi called for an early halt and authorized building fires, saying the weather would provide sufficient cover and that even if it didn’t, the temperature was probably a bigger danger anyway. Savita took some people out to gather wood – mostly pulling branches off trees and bushes, as finding sticks and logs on the ground was impossible unless someone tripped over it – and then Victor used his flamethrowers to start the fire – a feat that took some time, as his flamethrowers had become frozen and needed to be thawed out.
By the time the clouds disappeared into night, we had five sizable fires going, everyone huddled as close around them as they could get. Boots and gloves were removed and laid right near the flames to dry them off. Food was warmed, even the paltry leftovers feeling like a hardy meal. Some people even started chatting quietly amongst themselves.
I sat down next to Big Terry, looking down at the binding around his feet. He glanced up to me as I sat next to him.
“Ain’t no use bindin’ us up, is there?” he asked, “even if we could make it through all this alive, I’d be easier’n a train ta track down.”
“Given what you did to these people,” I said, “I think it’s more symbolic than anything.”
Terry sighed, “I spose you think we owe you gratitude. I’ve no delusions the Jap gal would have any reservations about killin’ us.”
“I don’t expect anything,” I said, looking at him through my open visor, “except for people to continue treating each other like animals.”
“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone,” Isaac said, his words somewhat slurred from his fractured jaw, “the laws of God are meant to curb the sinful nature of man. What has been wrought here is the result of casting God aside for a misplaced faith in man.” He scoffed, “anarchy exalted as a virtue.”
“You blame the lack of a government for what you did?” I asked.
Isaac looked to me, but said nothing. Terry spoke up instead.
“We have a government now, whether we want it or not. I’d wager most folks in the LoC want some kinda government.”
“That doesn’t answer why you did what you did to these people,” I said.
“Some must sacrifice themselves for a greater good,” Isaac said.
“He sounds just like every ego-maniacal emperor, king, and warlord,” Evita said, “you should dispose of him now.”
“When the referendum came up,” Terry said, “the governor of Colorado was quite chummy with Darrel Gibson. The two’d gone ta college together, I think. The anarchists made it seem like if people didn’t vote to dissolve the government, we were gonna be a vassal of the PRA. Most reckon that fear was the only way the referendum was able ta pass.” He paused a moment and then said, “a large conting
ent of us felt like we should join the CSA.”
“A government that upholds the laws of God,” Isaac said.
“So, you really weren’t unhappy with this invasion,” I said.
“In principle, no,” Terry said.
I smirked, “you were angry they didn’t invite you to be on their side right away.”
Terry looked back up at me, “it’d be easy for you ta see us as the bad guys.”
“You have to know how you must look to everyone here,” I said, “if the Crusaders wanted the CSA to take over, why did some of them fire on their soldiers back at the road crossing?”
Terry looked back down at his bound feet, “those weren’t CSA troops.”
“They looked like it to me,” I said.
“They were supplied by Benecorp with the same equipment’s the CSA,” Terry said, “they were from Utah.”
“Why’s Utah invading?”
“Dunno the whole story,” Terry said, “but from what I understand, they were promised a piece of the pie if they helped. Seems somethin’ happened to the CSA invasion.”
“What happened?”
“Dunno,” he said, “but it looks like somethin’ threw a wrench in the CSA’s plans and seems to have slowed their progress back east. That’s about all I know from when we was bein’ held in Dolores.”
“And you don’t want Utah getting a piece,” I said.
“We shall not bear false witness,” Isaac said, “the followers of Joseph Smith we will not abide in the land of the one true God.”
“But the CSA brought them in,” I said.
Isaac gave me a cold glare, “the CSA will once again find the path of righteousness once evil is driven from this land.”
“They’re fanatics,” Evita said, staying just out of sight, “you should have allowed Sachi to kill them. People with faith will not listen to reason. They will not empathize. They will only await their chance to strike.”
“You’re not a Christian, are you?” Terry asked, turning his head to me.
“No,” I said.
“Then you couldn’t possibly understand what this means for us,” he said, looking back to the fire.
Incarnate- Essence Page 99