exist.
Deny.
Deny.
Deny.
Here are two real and solid facts about Sym-Jolie among all the crazy that’s on the internet concerning to him. 1, he is real. And 2, he never takes that gas mask off.
Must really stink considering how much he hangs out in sewers.
The sewers of Chicago are getting quite a repetition matter of fact. And not just having a masked urban legend doing a walkabout. Not only do you have the stories of those people society has pushed aside living down there but there are also more urban tales of freakish Beyond Humans living in the sewers, songs of the shit eating Loop Devil are sung in soup kitchens, and there are of course the zombies.
The zombies.
Fucking zombies.
Sym-Jolie has a thing about zombies. He really really really with all his heart hates them.
I have it on good authority you must never ever ever find a situation of loving a zombie.
And that’s from a better writer than me.
He moved through the sewers in search of one zombie whose hunger drew it to the surface and was tracked from an overnight bakery after it found something to eat.
Hint Hint, it wasn’t sough dough bread.
Sym-Jolie knew about The Loop Devil but that asshat is just moody and keeps to himself.
Sort of like a Minotaur but ugly and with bad taste in music.
He had encountered the freak Beyond Human clan that call themselves Kunstkammer once or twice but they stay to one end of the city and don’t move unless they have to.
Like a cloudier of cats scurrying around from spot to spot when threatened.
So on this hunt he is all alone to take out this monster and unless he runs into a colony of zombies today all the theater should go by pretty quick.
His Air Force issued gas mask was largely protecting him from the extreme smells of the sewers but he has grown more and more comfortable with these surroundings. Over the past two years his life has shifted to where if he isn’t knee deep in muck and decay he feels out of place.
The origin story of Sym-Jolie is… let’s leave that for another day.
Ok, ok, I know but I decided to do this Easter Special at the last second so give a guy a break.
Just know wadding his way through the sewers under Chicago is a man dressed in black work boots, blue jeans, a bloody white t-shirt with strange symbols on it, a black unbuttoned button up shirt, and a long black rain jacket.
And the already mentioned Air Force issued gas mask.
Know this man who is overdressed for sewer wadding once stuck his nose into something trying to play hero was dragged to the depths of near death and now he has a course in his life whether he wants it or not.
Oh, and his weapon of choice is mainly knives of all kinds and styles.
And just about anything else sharp.
He’s pretty good at survival improvisation.
On this trip through the sewers he was holding two bread knives in his hands as he was fresh from confronting the creature in the bakery scene mentioned earlier. Being able to use weapons on site is how one who walks the paths Sym Jolie stays alive.
That the whole improvisation thing I spoke of earlier.
Sym-Jolie knew this must have been a newly minted member of the undead because it was able to quickly escape his initial attack and make its way back into the sewers. Before full decay starts to set in a zombie still has the same agility of the person it was before death but with pure animalistic instincts thrown in.
As time passes and it slowly decays it will slow down and even if it continues to feed every zombie only has so long to be one of the living dead before it just falls apart into a big meat pile.
Sym-Jolie is keeping his senses tightened in case of sudden attack. Older zombies are easy to track down and easier to kill and survive the encounter eve if they get the jump on you. But one new out of the box, those are the really dangerous ones.
And that knowledge was reinforced upon him as the zombie he was tracking came out of a side tunnel without warning hitting Sym-Jolie with a shoulder block that knocked him back first against a wall.
The attacked knocked the bread knives out of his hands but he instinctively reached inside of his jacket and pulled out a collapsible police baton as he slide down the wall into the sewer waters.
The zombie reached down to grab him but he landed a blow with the baton across the side of its head.
The blow hit the dead creatures head with such a force of impact that you loudly heard the sound of skull cracking echoing down the tunnels.
Normal with a normal human that would have at least bought him a few minutes but with a zombie it had only bought him a few seconds.
Sym-Jolie though used those seconds wisely. He pulled himself up, braced himself and jumped off the wall bringing the baton down on the neck of the zombie breaking it. The break won’t hurt it much but the more damage you do to a zombie the less it’s able to function as a fully realized flesh craving killing machine.
The zombie tried to move its neck back into place several times before giving up, giving out a primal scream, and charging for another attack.
Baton collapses back and is quickly slipped into a pock and out came a bowie knife, big blade on one end and on the other end of the handle a spike.
Sym-Jolie started jabbing at the zombies face and head in general with the spike bit, over and over, mainly going for the eyes but also the teeth.
Another fact about zombies is that it’s the sustained bite that gets you and turns you into a low rent Hannibal The Cannibal because it’s the transfer of the zombie virus that does it and it takes more than a little bit of fluid exchange to do it.
But breaking out their teeth, that’s always a positive when fighting one of them.
Once he had blinded it Sym-Jolie kicked it with a spin kick which knocked it down into the thigh high sewer waters. Every time the creature naturally tried to raise its head out of the water he slashed at its head with his knife.
‘Come on Saltdaddy, die already!’
What? I know it’s a living dead thing but what other verb could I use but die? Do I look like someone with a deep vocabulary?
After hacking away for a good ten minutes playing slash the zombie Sym-Jolie finally separated its head from its shoulders.
He stabbed the head with the knife skewering it and as the head continued to try and bite him he started on his way out of the sewers.
‘Now to burn you, you nasty little fucker.’
BREAKING NEWS: Also in Florida, Volusia County Sheriff’s Office says woman who was arrested for assaulting six duties disappeared out of custody in the middle of the night. Beyond Human activists speculate she was taken by government agents while others…
BREAKING NEWS: 9 people are dead, 7 others seriously hurt, and 27 missing a unexplained explosion rocks Mount Everest. One park ranger claims to have seen three glowing spots flying away from the area of the explosion…
BREAKING NEWS: Activist journalist say she has uncovered a huge C.I.A. operation that is basically the government acting as trolls against women’s rights groups, gay right groups, and several political groups online…
Notes From The Author
What I learned While Writing This: Lesson learned while writing this: That I can actually enjoy writing zombies. This is only my second time writing a zombie story and the last time I didn’t have much fun because I started doing it in Tin Universe Monthly #1, also known as Stereo 2.0, but ended up deleting most of the zombie action because I didn’t like it. Lesson learned there was if you try to write like another writer you will end up feeling like shit about what you wrote.
Thanks for reading,
Brian C. Williams
https://twitter.com/hangofwednesday
https://underthetrainingbook.blogspot.com/
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