by Levine, Nina
Jessica sighs, knowing this place well. “You can snap and snarl all you like, but it won’t change the fact that Jack is in the hospital right now because he chose not to look after himself.”
I don’t want to continue discussing this. What I want is to call Lorelei and hear her voice. “Send me the flight info once you have it. And try not to seat me right near the toilets like you did on the last flight.”
“Yep, Asshole Saturday has arrived,” she mutters before hanging up.
She spares me the talking to about the fact she won’t have much choice about what seat I can get at this late stage, because it’s what we do. Well, it’s what she does. Jessica knows when to give me a little space to lose my cool. She’ll always come back and attempt to pull me into line, but it’s that five-second freedom she allows, albeit with some snark, that lets me get my frustration out and then begin to come back to my centre.
I make a note to send her coffee vouchers. And to do better. God knows she deserves that after all these years of putting up with me.
Focusing back on the task at hand, I finish packing and then call Lorelei. It’s way too early for this call, but I can’t stop myself. At this point, I need to speak to her like I need air.
My call goes to voicemail, so I try again. After three attempts, I leave a message for her to call me back. I then shower and dress, my mind a steady hum of thoughts about how to help Jack. By the time I’m dressed, I’ve decided I’ll stay in LA with him as long as he needs me. I’ve also decided to stop by and see Lorelei before I fly out. This couldn’t have come at a worse time for us, and I need to see her and speak with her before I leave. I need to make sure we’re okay or at least have a shot at being okay before I put any physical distance between us.
55
Lorelei
“Oh God,” I mutter as I wake up on Saturday morning. Slowly easing myself into a sitting position on Sienna’s couch, I wince. “Oh God, why did we drink so much?”
Sienna surprises me when she answers my question. I didn’t realise she was in the lounge room with me. “I blame you. If you hadn’t wanted to celebrate your decision to go and see Ashton today and sort things out with him, we wouldn’t be here feeling like we’re now living in hell.”
I squint my eyes in an attempt to see her. She’s sitting on the floor near the other couch across from me. Frowning, I ask, “Why are you on the floor?”
She shrugs. “I must have passed out here.”
As much as I try not to, because it hurts, I laugh. “We know how to party on a Friday night, huh?”
“Babe, you were the one partying. I was just along for the ride.” A grin slides across her face. “And you should drink more. You were hilarious last night, and when you dropped your phone in the toilet and scrambled to retrieve it, I just about peed myself laughing.”
I frown again. “I don’t remember doing that. Shit, is it okay?” I glance around looking for my phone, but I hardly have the energy for that, so I wait for Sienna’s reply.
She waves her hand in the direction of the kitchen. “I dumped it in some rice. Hopefully that did the trick. All I can say is thank fuck you hadn’t already used the toilet when you did it. No way would I have been touching it if you had.”
God, I need to go back to hardly drinking. There are fewer hangovers and fewer mishaps that way.
“I need a shower,” I say as I move very carefully off the lounge.
My effort to not stir my headache fails and a sharp jolt of pain hits me. When I place my hand to my head and squeeze my eyes shut, Sienna says, “I’m not sure standing in the shower is what you need right now. I’ll make you my best hangover cure, and maybe after that, you’ll be up for a shower.”
I sit back down and open my eyes to look at her. “What’s in this cure?”
She’s on her way to the kitchen when she calls back over her shoulder, “Secret things, but trust me, they work.”
I do trust her, for many reasons, the least not being that she’s had enough hangovers to know how to cure one. Sinking back against the couch, I wait for her and allow my mind to drift to Ashton. Sienna helped me work past my hesitation with our relationship, and I’m eager to call him and organise to see him today. I’m finally ready to let go of my fear and step completely into a future with him. However, my hangover needs to ease before I’ll call him, so maybe I’ll just send him a text first. Well, so long as my phone is working. That thought gets me off the couch and into the kitchen so I can check my phone.
Sienna is reading something intently on her phone when I join her. She doesn’t glance up but rather continues slowly scrolling and reading. Whatever it is, it’s got her full attention.
I locate my phone that she put in a container of rice, and try to switch it on. The screen remains blank, and after repeated attempts of desperately pressing the power button, I come to the conclusion it’s dead.
“Ugh. I’m going to have to get a new phone.”
Sienna finally looks at me, a pained expression on her face. “Sorry babe. That sucks.”
I nod at her phone. “What were you reading?”
She places it down on the counter and claps her hands together. “Just Facebook. Now, let’s get these drinks into you.”
Something about her tone or her expression or her body language feels off. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something weird there. Before I have a chance to ask her, she shoves two glasses at me. One contains a cloudy looking clear liquid and the other contains what I think must be tomato juice.
“Drink up,” she says.
Narrowing my eyes at her, I ask, “Why do you seem so odd all of a sudden? It’s like you’re trying to push me into something.” I pause for a beat. “Oh God, what’s in these drinks? You’ve smashed up some of your strange health pills and sprinkled them in here, haven’t you?” Sienna is all about vitamins and supplements, and is always trying to force them on me, but that’s something I’m not really into. Especially when I don’t know half the ingredients in the pills.
Her lips flatten and she hits me with an exasperated glare. “There’re no pills in either of those. They’re just straight coconut water and tomato juice.”
“Really? You told me your cure was secret, and now you expect me to believe there’s no voodoo in here.”
She arches a brow. “Voodoo? Seriously? You think I’m so healthy because of voodoo?”
“No, I think you’re healthy because you eat well and exercise. I don’t think any of your voodoo pills contribute to your health.”
Waving a hand at me, she mutters, “Just drink the bloody drinks, Lorelei. And stop banging on about voodoo.”
Although my head is aching and I feel awful, I grin.
“Why are you smiling at me like that?”
“Because I love you and the way you care for me.” I grin a little harder. “And I find it amusing when you go on about your pills. You do this thing where—”
A loud bang on the door to her apartment sounds, interrupting our conversation. I stare after her when she leaves to go check what’s going on. Partly because I’m moving slowly today and am trying to get the energy to drink these drinks, and partly because I’m lost in the thought that everyone should have a friend like Sienna.
I drain both the glasses, pulling a face as I do so. I don’t love either coconut water or tomato juice, but I feel bad enough to give them both a go. After I rinse the glasses, I place them next to the sink to be washed properly, and my gaze lands on Sienna’s phone. She’s left it on, and it looks like she was reading a news article. Reaching for it, I see a photo of Ashton at the top of the article. Right under the news heading, “The Cashton Empire Set To Explode.”
Cashton?
I begin reading, trying to figure out what they mean by that. It doesn’t take me long to figure it out. Or for my heart to almost stop beating. Not when I see the next photo. A photo of Ashton and Cassia kissing.
“Shit, I didn’t want you to see that,” Sienna says, c
oming back into the kitchen. “It’s gossip and is probably bullshit.”
I struggle to drag my attention from the article. “They’re kissing, Sienna.” I finally look up at her. “And it’s not the first time they’ve kissed recently. It doesn’t look like gossip to me.”
I desperately want to believe her, though. I want to believe that somehow, someone Photoshopped this image to make it look like he kissed her. What I don’t want is to have to rethink my decision to continue this relationship with Ashton. It’s all beginning to feel like whiplash. And on top of a hangover, it’s even harder to think the situation through rationally.
“You need to call him and ask him about it. Don’t jump to any conclusions.”
Confusion is starting to take over, and my thoughts are running in a million different directions.
He doesn’t want her.
He wouldn’t kiss her.
This all has to be her doing.
She’s manipulating him.
I can trust him.
He’s made it clear he wants me, not her.
But then, the one thought that pretty much wipes out all the other ones, surfaces.
Maybe he got tired of waiting for me and decided I’m not worth the hassle.
I stare at Sienna, gulping down the dread consuming me. “I can’t call him. My phone is dead and I don’t know his number.”
“Facebook. Send him a message and tell him to call you on my phone.”
Thank goodness one of us is thinking straight.
I log into my Facebook account on her phone and message him. After I hit Send, I glance at Sienna. “I hope he gets that soon. I feel sick enough from the hangover. Waiting for him may just kill me.”
“Okay, you’re being dramatic. Let’s calm down and get some food into you. That should help.”
I shake my head. “I can’t eat at a time like this.” She’s right that I am being dramatic, and it’s completely unlike me, but I feel more stressed about getting in touch with Ashton than I’ve ever felt over a man before. I believe in him and his faithfulness, but I need to talk to him and make sure he hasn’t changed his mind about us. That’s the one doubt lingering.
Half an hour later when he still hasn’t replied to my message, Sienna declares, “Enough! We’re going to shower and get dressed, and then we’re going out to eat. Sitting around here waiting for Ashton is not productive. He’ll call at some point. I mean, hell, the man has made it clear how much he wants you. He’s definitely going to call.”
I hope she’s right. After spending last night getting to the bottom of my fears and then admitting to myself just how much I love and want Ashton in my life, I’m counting on her being right.
56
Lorelei
“Lorelei, there you are! You arrived and then you disappeared on me,” Ryan Shandwick says, his eyes a little too glittery with excitement for me tonight.
I’m not in the mood. I haven’t heard from Ashton all day, so I’m feeling anything but excited. On top of that, Ryan phoned me this afternoon and invited me to this party we’re now at, and after repeated attempts to say no, I finally caved. He told me it was important for our development for me to be seen here with him. I didn’t want to let him down so I agreed to show my face. I’ve been here for almost an hour and plan to leave very soon. This party is nothing but shallow socialites, showy businessmen, and government officials who I suspect can be bought with enough cash. Not my kind of people. I’m unsure why Ryan thought it important for me to be here.
I gather my strength because I know he’ll do everything to convince me to stay. If there’s one thing Ryan’s good at, it’s never giving up and never taking no for an answer. “I’m about to leave.”
He reaches for my arm as he shakes his head. “You can’t leave. I have some people for you to meet.”
Less than a minute later, he’s dragged me across the room and we’ve joined a group of people at the bar. And I’m staring at Cassia Brampton.
This can’t be happening.
Why did I agree to come tonight?
Of all the people, I had to run into her.
Ryan cuts into my thoughts when he introduces me to two men, but I fail to drag my attention fully to the conversation because all I can think about is whether Ashton has chosen Cassia over me.
That he didn’t call or check in with me today has my confidence in our relationship at rock bottom. Sienna tried to give me a pep talk, but it doesn’t matter how often she says Ashton made it clear he wants me; the fact is he kissed Cassia and hasn’t called me. Those aren’t actions of a man who wants me.
“You look a little ill,” Cassia says as she leans in close to me. “Is everything okay?”
She catches me off guard, and I stumble with my reply. “Oh, do I? No, not ill. I’m fine. Well, I mean, I had a girls’ night last night and drank a little too much, so maybe I’m still recovering from that.”
Goodness, stop talking.
Do not say another word.
Do not engage with her.
I smooth my hair.
This woman puts me on edge.
Jesus.
Stop smoothing your hair.
In fact, just stop breathing.
Right now.
She smiles, and I don’t feel like it means anything nice like a smile normally should. No, Cassia’s smile feels like she’s calculating something in her mind while talking to me. “Oh, that’s good, that you had a girls’ night. It’s always our friends who keep us going in times like this, isn’t it?”
I frown. “In times like what?”
Her smile disappears and she looks at me with sympathy. Pity almost. “Well, it would be unkind of me to bring it up, but now that we’re talking about it, I want you to know I had no idea this was going to happen between me and Ashton again. We didn’t plan for it or—”
Gregory Scott cuts in to our conversation. “I for one am glad to see my son came to his senses.” He greets Cassia with a kiss to her cheek. “Kendall is over the moon. She’ll be over to see you soon.”
I want to vomit. In fact, I’m fairly sure I may vomit.
What is happening right now?
Why are these people so unkind? Talking about Ashton and Cassia’s relationship in front of me like I’m not even here.
I want to tell them what I think of them, but my mind is a mess. I don’t trust any thoughts in there at the moment, so instead, I say nothing and try to catch Ryan’s attention to let him know I’m leaving.
As I do this, Cassia’s phone rings and after glancing at it, she looks between Gregory and me. “Sorry to be rude, but it’s Ashton. I need to take this.” She then answers the phone with, “Hello, darling,” and leaves the group.
The room spins and I lose my manners. I’ve been clinging to them for Ryan, but I can’t even bring myself to do that anymore. There’s no way I can stand to be around these people a second longer.
Without so much as a goodbye, I turn and practically run to the exit. By the time I’m outside, tears are streaming down my face, and I’m close to being a sobbing mess. I hail a taxi, and once I’m settled in the back, I pull out my new phone. The one I got today to replace my old one. Pulling up Ashton’s number, I wait for him to answer. He’s about to get a piece of my mind. And it’s not going to be pretty. Not if he can’t be bothered to at least let me know we’re over.
He doesn’t answer, and I stare at my phone in disbelief. He can call Cassia, but he can’t answer my call? Is this how he has treated all the women in his life? I can’t imagine the man I know acting like this, and yet, I can’t ignore everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours.
Oh God.
This really is the end of us, isn’t it?
57
Ashton
The flight to LA feels longer than usual, and I’m exhausted by the time I arrive at LAX. However, that doesn’t slow down my efforts to get through customs and out of the airport as fast as I can. The thing that does slow me down, though, i
s Lorelei. Or precisely, the five angry voicemails from her I retrieve after clearing customs.
The first two messages came in one after the other.
* * *
Lorelei: Seriously? I was standing right in front of Cassia just now when you called her, so I know you’re not busy at the moment. And yet you don’t even have the decency to answer my call? It wasn’t enough that you kissed her at that party and didn’t call or come see me to end things with me? You are so freaking lucky you aren’t standing in front of me right now, Ashton, because if you were, I’d kick you in the goddam balls and make you hurt as much as I am.
* * *
Lorelei: I mean, I know we weren’t in a great place, but you freaking made me feel like I was the only woman for you and that you wanted to work on our problems. I don’t get men who can move from one woman to another like you have, but I’m glad this happened before I fell in love with you more than I already am. And your father! God, he’s an asshole. Standing there telling Cassia how happy he and your mother are that you’re back with her. Right freaking in front of me! You Scott men really know how to make a girl feel unworthy.
* * *
The last three messages came in about an hour later, and Lorelei sounds increasingly upset with each message.
* * *
Lorelei: I can’t believe I dedicated the entire night last night to figuring out my feelings about you. The. Entire. Night. Not to mention the hours I spent thinking about you all week. God, I’m an idiot to have thought we had something special. I was ready to compromise for you, Ashton. Something I’ve never been good at in relationships, but for you, I was going to try, because I decided you were the man I’d go to the ends of the earth for. And you chose her! I have no idea how men are so freaking blind to women like Cassia. She’s only interested in your status. I would have given you so much more than she ever will. You have no idea what you’re missing out on with me.