by Levine, Nina
“So you’re still together?” I hold my breath waiting for his reply.
“No. Yes… No, not really. Shit, Callie, it’s so fucking complicated.”
My patience is wearing thin. I don’t understand what he’s trying to tell me. A person is either married, or they’re not. My frustration turns me a little snarky. “I’m sure that’s the line every married man uses, Luke.”
He takes a step as if to enter my apartment and when I don’t move to let him through, he pauses and asks, “Can I come in so I can try to explain this fucked-up situation to you?”
“So long as your explanation involves more than ‘it’s complicated’.”
His lips pinch together. “It will.”
I step aside and usher him in.
A moment later, he blows my mind with his revelation.
“Two years ago, my wife was sent to jail for murder. More specifically for the murder of her own mother. I did everything to fight the charges. Hired her the best lawyer money could buy, had a private investigator look into it. No stone was left unturned, and yet, she was found guilty. I’ve spent the last two years trying to fight the conviction. It’s been hell, but I’ve clung to her innocence. Everything I’ve done has been geared towards proving that.” He stops talking and begins pacing while holding the back of his neck.
I’m stunned into silence. Never in a million years did I expect that.
He stops moving and turns to me. His nostrils flare, and his eyes fill with anger. “But she’s not fucking innocent,” he says, stunning me even further.
“How do you know that?”
“We found new evidence proving it was her.”
My mind swims with more confusion. “Okay, back it up, and tell me everything. I’m not really grasping all this.”
“Yeah, that’s two of us.” Defeat snakes its way through his words. “I only discovered Jolene’s lies six months ago when we discovered the new evidence, and I’m still trying to piece it all together.”
I frown. “Why would she kill her own mother?”
“I have no idea.” His anger is extreme, and I don’t blame him. I’d be gutted if I discovered my spouse had done what she has.
I try to process what he’s said, but I struggle. “This is the kind of stuff you just don’t think happens in real life. Like, it happens in the movies and books, but not to people you know.” I can’t even begin to imagine what he’s been going through all this time. He’s never shared anything about his past with us.
We grow silent, each consumed with our own thoughts. I have a million questions but don’t want to bombard him. Sharing this information is clearly a big step for him, and I know he’s not a huge talker, so I decide to wait for him to share more without prompting.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you the other night,” he finally says, blowing out a long, frustrated breath.
I want him to take those words back.
Surely he felt what I felt in that kiss?
My heart hurts even asking my next question. I’m not sure I want to know the answer, but I need to know it. “Did it mean nothing to you?”
His body stills, and he blinks. “Fuck, it meant everything to me, Callie. I’ve wanted to kiss you for months.” My hope soars. He feels the same way as me.
I move to where he stands and place my hand on his arm. His body tenses and I hate that. “Why shouldn’t you have kissed me, then? If we both want this, why can’t we have it?”
He pulls his arm away from my hand. “Because I’m married, and my head is all fucked-up over it. I don’t want to bring you into that. You deserve so much more.”
My brows pull together. “Are you getting a divorce now that you know the truth?”
He doesn’t answer me straight away, and my heart dives into the disappointment I know I’m going to feel when he answers me. “It’s complicated.” His voice is ragged, torn.
“I’m getting really fucking sick of that word!” I throw at him as my anger builds.
His hand flicks out and grabs mine, and he yanks me to him. Our bodies press hard against each other, and the sounds of our heavy breathing fill the room.
Every nerve ending of mine tingles as our eyes lock.
My lips part, ready.
Hoping.
“You’ve got no fucking idea how much I want you. How much I want to kiss you again and spend every hour of every day either with you or thinking about you. My marital status is complicated, but what I feel for you isn’t. You stole my attention a long time ago, you just never realised it.” The honesty in his voice threads itself through my heart.
Maybe we have a chance.
Our faces are so close now. All I need to do is lean forward a fraction, and I’ll experience the divine sensation of his lips on mine again. Oh, God, how I want that.
But he’s married.
And it’s complicated.
“I’m going to kiss you,” he says, and I move both my hands to press against his chest. I’m not sure if it’s to push him away or just to touch him because my thoughts are a mess.
Why can’t men and sex and dating be easy?
“Callie.” His voice is demanding, and I know he’s seeking an answer from me.
Our eyes hold each other.
So close.
Oh, man.
I’m really going to do this.
When I don’t say anything, he pushes me. “I want you. So damn much.”
Oh, to hell with it.
She lied to him.
He hates her.
It’s complicated.
Fuck, life is complicated.
I reach my hand up to curl around his neck and thread through his hair.
It feels so good.
It feels right.
I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his before pulling away and whispering, “This is going to change everything, isn’t it?”
His chest rises and falls rapidly, and he pushes out a breath as he nods. “Yes.”
I take a deep breath.
And for once in my life, I run completely with my heart rather than with my head.
I kiss him like I did two nights ago.
Deep.
Hard.
Long.
A growl comes from his chest, and he lifts me to carry me to my bedroom. After he places me on my bed, he lifts his T-shirt over his head and drops it to the floor. I’m so entranced by the raw hunger I see in his eyes that I’m not even tempted to shift my gaze to admire his naked chest.
When his hands move to undo his jeans, I finally take in the chiselled muscles of his body.
I need to touch him.
Before my lust-filled mind has a chance to tell my body to move towards him, he strips the rest of his clothes off and kneels on the bed.
Surely, I’ve died and gone to heaven.
Luke’s powerful body moves over mine, and all I can do is lie back and let him take charge.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he says as he slides his hands under my T-shirt. His touch scatters pleasure across my skin, and I arch my back up off the bed.
When his hands glide over my breasts, I moan. I’ve waited so long for his hands on me, and even though I never believed it would happen, I’ve imagined how it would feel. And it feels so much better than I ever dreamed it would.
His eyes meet mine. “This pains me to even say, but I’m not the kind of man who forces himself on women, so tell me again that this is what you want. Just know that once you say yes, there’s no going back because I’m barely restraining myself already.”
There’s no hesitation on my behalf. “Yes, I want this.”
His deep breaths come hard and fast as he walks that tightrope of restraint, and at my words, the rope snaps, and I know the switch has been flipped in his mind.
I know he’s going to give me the best damn sex I’ve ever had.
Moments flash by, and I can hardly keep up with him. He removes my T-shirt and bra and then slides my jeans and panties off.
His movements are swift, yet gentle. He positions himself over my body, on his hands and knees, and dips his head so he can take one of my nipples into his mouth. When his warm tongue sweeps over my skin, I grip the bed sheet and wrap my legs around his body.
Yes.
Oh, God, so many yeses.
There are not enough yeses in the world for Luke Hardy.
Maybe it’s three months of no sex, but pleasure is ricocheting through my body, and I think I might actually explode from how amazing it is.
Or maybe it’s just Luke.
I’ll have to sleep with him at least once more to know for sure.
He has a wife.
Oh shush, it’s complicated.
“Callie.” Luke’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “I don’t have a condom. Do you?”
“Yes, in the drawer of my bedside table.” Thank God.
He reaches for the drawer and rummages around until he finds what he’s looking for. A moment later, he has the condom on and gives me his full attention once more.
I want his lips on mine again, so I take hold of his face and guide him to me. As he kisses me, I can feel a smile playing on his lips, and briefly, pull away to say, “Are you laughing at me, Luke Hardy?”
The smile lights up his face. “No, but I am loving the fuck out of you taking charge with that kiss.”
I love this sexy, fun side of him; I’ve never seen it before. Luke holds himself back most of the time, and although I now understand why, I want more of this fun side.
I want more of him, full stop.
And then he gives me what I want.
His lips.
His hands on me.
His body against mine.
He kisses me like I’m the sunshine to his rainy day again.
He steals my breath.
But he doesn’t really steal it because you can’t steal something that is willingly given.
As his mouth presses kisses down my stomach, I wind my fingers through his hair, anticipating the extreme pleasure his mouth is about to deliver. When he reaches his destination, he takes hold of my legs and positions them over his shoulders before dipping his face to my pussy.
One flick of his tongue and I’m his. Hell, I was already his, but now I’m ready to hand over the keys to the driver’s seat whenever he wants to take a spin.
I grip his hair harder. “Please don’t ever stop what you’re doing,” I beg as I bite my lip and squeeze my eyes shut.
The pleasure builds to an intensity I’m not sure I can ever recall experiencing as he expertly works his tongue and lips to give me an orgasm I will never forget.
As I come, I scream, “Oh, God… Luke, fuck…”
Brilliant light shatters through my mind, and I lose all sense of knowing as my orgasm moves through me. All I am sure of in this moment is how good Luke is making me feel.
His voice filters through my consciousness, and I realise he’s moved up the bed and positioned his cock at my entrance. “Fuck, Callie, I need to be inside you,” he rasps as he slides through my wetness.
I wrap my legs and arms around him, digging my fingers into his back.
I need you inside me, too.
Over and over, and over.
Turning my face, I find his neck and suck it, letting my teeth gently nip him.
“Fuck me, Luke.”
Oh, for the love of everything good, fuck me hard.
He doesn’t wait to be told again, and growls as he thrusts inside. There’s no slow and gentle to this, which is exactly how I want it.
He thrusts in and out, again and again, and I hold on tight as our bodies move together. He’s lost to it as he works harder and faster to achieve his release.
And then he comes. He thrusts deep one last time before his body shudders and stills. I cling to him, needing my own release. It’s so close. Teasing me in that way where you want to scream out—‘For fuck’s sake, just let me have it’.
“Oh, God… Oh, God…” When it finally hits, all I can do is chant my way through it. The orgasm rushes through me, wiping out all my bad memories of the last three months of nothing but bad dates and vibrators.
I let Luke go, and fling my arms out to the side and close my eyes. I have no more energy left to even hold onto him anymore. That orgasm exhausted me completely.
He pulls out and chuckles. Brushing a kiss on my lips, he says, “You look beautiful when you’ve just been fucked.”
I summon enough energy to open my eyes and pout. “Only when I’ve just been fucked?”
He grins and drops another kiss on my lips. As he moves off the bed, he alters his previous statement. “Let me clarify—you are beautiful to me all the time, but when I’ve just fucked you, you’re off-the-charts sexy.”
I watch him walk to the bathroom as happiness whooshes through me.
Not only have I broken my dry spell, but I broke it with Luke.
The man I’ve been dreaming of for almost a year.
The man who wants me just as much as I want him.
The married man.
Oh, dear Lord, what was I thinking?
4
Callie
I watch from my bed as Luke shrugs his shirt over his head. I’ve been watching him for the past five minutes at least, as he took a phone call, all the while with a scowl on his face. He didn’t speak much during the call, but rather he listened to whatever was being said. To say I am disappointed that he’s covering his gorgeous body with clothes and leaving is an understatement. After craving this man for the last year, the previous hour with him is far from enough.
His eyes find mine as he shoves his phone in the pocket of his jeans. I see regret there, which is unusual. Luke usually masks his emotions. Unless he’s angry or frustrated, I can’t generally tell what he’s feeling. “I have to go.”
When he doesn’t say anything further, I nod. His words hurt more than I want to admit. An hour ago, he told me I’d stolen his attention, but now it feels like he can’t get out of here fast enough. My brain knows he didn’t come here just for sex, but my heart is crushed.
His forehead creases in a frown, and he opens his mouth to say something, but a text message captures his attention. When he pulls his phone out and reads it, the lines etching his forehead deepen. Looking back at me, he says, “Sorry, Callie, I really need to go. I’ll call you in the morning.”
“It’s okay, Luke, go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” As much as I wanted him to stay a moment ago, I now want him to leave. If I’m going to drown in my own unhappiness, I’d rather do it by myself.
With one last glance at me, he turns and exits my bedroom. The sound of the front door clicking shut signals that I’m alone and I allow the confusion and hurt to take over.
“I haven’t had time to start searching for info on Luke yet,” Avery says the next day when she calls me on my lunch break.
I relax back into my seat in the back corner of the café and rest my feet on the chair across from me. I’ve got an hour for my break today, and I’m a little concerned I might fall asleep. After Luke left last night, I hardly slept as thoughts of him ran through my mind. I’d been upset that he left so quickly, but the more I thought about it, the more it felt out of character with the way he arrived and with what he told me. After tossing and turning for hours, I finally fell asleep after making the decision to go see him tonight if I don’t hear from him today. I’m not the kind of girl who feels it necessary to wait for a man to come to her. I’d much rather take matters into my own hands.
“You don’t need to look for info on him. He came over last night and told me about himself.” I don’t elaborate because I’ve decided to keep what I know of Luke’s personal life to myself. It doesn’t feel right to share what he told me in confidence. As much as Avery is my girl and I tell her everything, I always keep things to myself if they’ve been shared in this manner.
“Well, spill!”
“I can’t tell you everything because he told me this stuff in confiden
ce and you know what I’m like. But I will tell you that he’s married.”
“Holy. Shit. No.”
“Yes, he is.”
“What the actual fuck? Why did he kiss you the other night if he’s married? And how did we not know this about him?”
“Before you get carried away, he’s getting a divorce… Well, at least I think he is. They’re not together, so there is that.”
“You need to give me more here, Callie. None of this is making much sense.”
“I can’t. I need to talk to Luke first and make sure he’s okay for me to share more.”
“Ugh. You drive me crazy with your refusal to share stuff,” she mutters.
“Yeah, well you like it when it’s your private stuff I don’t share.”
“You are a pain in my ass, chick. Why did I have to find the one best friend who has the morals you do? Why couldn’t I have found a loose-lips bestie?”
“Stop your grumbling. You adore me.” I pick at the sandwich sitting in front of me. I only ordered it because I felt I should eat. I’m not really that hungry.
“So if Luke’s getting a divorce, did he kiss you again?”
I sigh. “We had sex, but—”
Before I can go on, she cuts me off. “Oh, my God, you finally broke that drought! And with Luke-fucking-Hardy.”
“Well, I may have broken the drought, but he left pretty damn fast afterwards. And I really think that the personal shit he’s got going on could get in the way of any more action between us.”
Personal shit?
More like a personal mess of epic proportions, Callie. Don’t go getting your hopes up that this is going to end in an easy happy-fucking-ever-after.
“I’m really going to have to find a computer and google the shit out of him.”
“Please don’t do that.” I’m almost begging. “It really is private stuff, and I’m pretty sure if Luke wanted everyone to know, he would have told us by now.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “You really like him, don’t you? Like, this isn’t just a casual shot at something here, is it? You want more with Luke.”
My tummy flutters as I think about what she said. “Yes, I really like him.”