by Levine, Nina
Mum stands and wraps her arms around me. “You’re going to get through this, Luke. I know it must feel like a never-ending struggle to end this horrid marriage and get your life back on track, but soon you’ll be free.”
If only life was as simple as my mother thought.
6
Callie
I type the fifth sentence I’ve managed to come up with this morning. I then delete that sentence and rewrite it, changing one word.
Ugh.
I hate it.
Delete.
Again.
Shoving my laptop aside, I move off the couch and stretch. I’ve been sitting here for two hours today trying to increase my word count on the novel I’m writing. I should have just stayed at the yoga class I did this morning. It would have been far more productive. I mean, hell, four lousy sentences to show for two hours work. It seems to be my new standard, though, and the reason why I’m not writing as much these days. I wish Avery hadn’t postponed our eBay shop work this morning. That would have kept my mind off how dejected I am over my writer’s block.
I switch on some music and blast it from my speakers. My closest neighbour is practically deaf; she won’t be bothered by the noise. Taylor Swift fills my living room, and I smile. Taylor offers me a happy place.
Heading to the front door, I decide to do something useful and check on my cats. Well, they’re not technically my cats, but I look after them. Strays always tug on my heartstrings.
Stepping outside, I call their names—the names I’ve given them. These two kitties have been with me for three months now. I’d move them inside, but my boy, Jasper, would have a fit. And I’m not sure how many survivors there would be.
“Callie.”
I turn at the sound of my name and smile as I see Mrs Harper approach. My almost-deaf neighbour has gotta be easily ninety. I’ve never asked her because that’s just bad manners. Mrs Harper made me feel welcome from the very first day I started living in this apartment complex three years ago. She turned up a few hours after I moved in and delivered two casseroles. ‘Because you won’t want to cook for a couple of days.’ She’s since learnt Mac and cheese is my go-to meal if I ever have to cook. Mostly I exist on salads and vegetables that don’t require much more than steaming, and meat that I can grill on my George Foreman. Mrs Harper takes pity on me some days and invites me over for dinner. It amazes me she cooks as well as she does, but she’s still smart as a whip.
“Hi, Mrs Harper,” I reply while filling the cat food bowls.
“I was just wondering if you’d be able to fill my prescription this afternoon, dear?” She has high blood pressure, which always worries me after my grandfather died of a stroke.
“Absolutely. I’ve gotta go out and grab some more cat food. Do you need anything at the supermarket?”
She shakes her head. “No, thank you. Also, I know you were having some trouble with getting work at the cafe, and I just saw an ad in the local paper for a job there that you might be interested in.” She hands me a paper clipping.
“Thank you.” I look down at the clipping and note the job is for a journalist. Looking back up at her, I say, “I’m not qualified for this kind of work, unfortunately.”
She shrugs. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained, dear. There’s no harm putting a resume in.”
“So true.”
She gives me her prescription and some money. “I’ve got a roast on. Would you like to come over for dinner tonight?” She eyes my body. “You could do with some fattening up, Callie. What have you been eating?”
She hasn’t seen my thighs.
They’ve been inhaling fat from the air. I’m sure of it.
“I’ve been eating well, Mrs Harper. I’d love to come over for a roast, thank you. What time?”
“Five sharp.”
I give her a smile. “I won’t be late.”
“You never are, dear. Your parents taught you well.”
She turns and makes the short journey to her apartment while I bend to pat one of the strays that’s turned up for food. “Hey, Mariah. Eat up, baby, before Cyrus comes and steals all the food.” She rubs against my leg before taking my advice.
I shower love on her for a good ten minutes, while also waiting for Cyrus, but when I hear my phone ringing, I say goodbye and head inside.
Swiping the phone off the kitchen counter, I check who it is.
Luke.
Butterflies instantly crowd my tummy.
“Hey, you,” I say softly, biting my lip.
“Callie,” he says, his deep voice almost a growl that only intensifies my butterflies. “Are you free for a few hours?”
I clench my thighs together. What would be the chances of breaking a sex drought with a guy you can’t sleep with again straight away? Only you, Callie, only you. “I’m about to go to the shops. Why?”
“I’m coming over to take you out for lunch. We’re going to start that friend thing you want today.”
“I can drive to wherever you want to have lunch.”
“No, I’ll come get you.”
“Honestly, Luke, I don’t mind.”
“I do.” His voice is definitely a growl this time.
Oh, my.
Why have I never dated a man with a voice like this before?
“Okay, I’ll see you soon.”
I drop my phone on the counter after we end the call and proceed to freak out. My hair is a mess, and I don’t know what clothes I have clean that I can wear. Because lunch with Luke demands the exact right clothes.
You should have asked him how far away he was.
Well, I was hardly thinking straight, was I?
Then, it hits me—this is my first real date with Luke. The butterflies that took over my tummy a moment ago completely consume me now.
Jesus, Callie, it’s not like you haven’t been on a date recently. Dating is kinda your thing these days.
Shut it. I don’t need your sarcasm.
Taking a deep breath, I concentrate on one thing at a time. First, my clothes and then my hair.
By the time Luke knocks on my front door, twenty minutes later, I’m presentable. Not as presentable as I would prefer, but given the short time frame, it will do.
Luke’s expression tells me that he doesn’t share my hesitation with my appearance. His heated gaze makes its way down my body, taking in the tight jeans I’ve thrown on with a black V-neck T-shirt and black leather jacket. He spends a moment checking out my heels before his eyes meet mine again.
“I thought you hated heels,” he says.
“Not for special occasions.”
He watches me in silence, processing that.
When he doesn’t say anything, I add, “First dates are special occasions.”
“So this is a date?” The sexy smirk forming on his lips shows me where he’s going with this.
“Not a full-service date, Luke, so drag your mind from the gutter.” But oh, God, I wish it was.
His smirk forms completely. “A man’s gotta take his opportunities when they come, Callie.”
I love this side to Luke. Throughout the past year, he’s hidden away from us, and while I now understand why, I’m sad that he has. I can only imagine the darkness he’s been living his life in over the last two years. Keeping that smile on his face has moved up my list of priorities.
Following him out to his car, I admire his body and wonder where he fits in the time to work out. Because my guess is that with the muscles he has, it would take many hours a week to maintain.
He leads me to the passenger side and opens the door for me. I love his old-school manners. And when he slides into the driver seat and says, “What’s your favourite place to go for lunch?”, I wonder what I ever did to have this man in my life. I’ve dated a lot of men—a lot—and I could count on one hand the number of them who ever opened my car door, let alone offered to take me to my favourite place to eat.
“I love that little Thai restaurant near your bar.”
&nbs
p; He smiles and nods before turning the car onto the road. The one thing I notice though is that his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Something is off with Luke today.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
Glancing at me for a moment before looking back at the road, he nods. “Yeah, just dealing with some family shit going on.”
“So, I know that your father passed away a year ago and that you have a wife, son, brother, and sister. What else is there to know about the Hardys?”
I expect him to hesitate with his reply because he’s kept his life private for so long, but he surprises me. “Well, that would depend if you were asking about the Hardys or the Ashcrofts. My parents divorced when I was six months old, so there are two sides to my fucked-up family.” His tone is tinged with bitterness, and I don’t fail to notice the way he grips the steering wheel a little tighter as he speaks.
“Tell me about your mum. Are you guys close?”
“We’re as close as I allow us to be. If she had her way, we’d be a lot closer. It’s a shame she didn’t think that way when I was growing up.”
“She wasn’t around much when you were younger?”
He grunts. “No, she was too busy socialising.” He glances at me. “Mum comes from a very wealthy family and has never had to work a day in her life. She makes the most of that freedom. Tyler and I were raised by nannies mostly while she flitted from man to man. We have different fathers. His has been around for him, but mine didn’t have a lot to do with me until I turned twenty-one. He figured I was a man then and needed a man’s guidance in life. He missed the memo that I needed to learn that shit when I was younger.”
I thought I had issues with my family. I’m silently rethinking that. “Did you guys become close then?”
“Kind of, yeah. He did try.” He blows out a breath. “Fuck, the older I get, the more I realise I don’t know much in life, but I do know that things aren’t always black and white. People aren’t perfect, and my old man was the poster boy for imperfect. But in his own way, he loved me. Your definition of close might be a little different to Max Hardy’s.”
I’m intrigued to know more about his dad, but even more so about his sister, so I leave the questions about his dad for later. “You mentioned that Tyler and you were raised by nannies, what about Paris? She said you guys weren’t close until her mum died. Did you spend much time with her growing up?”
“We hadn’t spent any time together before she moved in with Max.” I can’t even imagine what it would be like not knowing a parent or sibling while growing up. For all our faults, my family is your standard two-parents-two-kids family whose greatest dysfunction revolves around poor communication and unrealistic expectations.
“You two have a good relationship now?”
“We do. Paris is the only reason I can do what I do with the bar and with my life. She looks after Sean most nights while I’m working. During the day she studies nursing, so we work around that and juggle his care.”
I stare through the rain-drenched window of Luke’s car and think about everything he’s just shared with me. There are so many facets to this man, each connected in some way by the intricacies of his journey through life. I have a feeling that when I delve into that journey and learn more, it might break my heart. I think that Luke Hardy is nothing like the man I imagined him to be based on what he’s shown me since I met him. First appearances are very seldom right, and people usually choose to present themselves the way they wish to be perceived rather than who they really are.
“You seriously want me to believe that?” Luke says with a disbelieving shake of his head.
“What?” I fake outrage. “You don’t think I can cook a roast?”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you can cook a roast, Callie. I struggle to believe you pulled off a dinner party for eight people.”
Over lunch, we continued discussing family and friends and moved onto the topic of entertaining after I told him I figured his back deck was great for having friends over. When he said his friends pretty much stopped calling after Jolene was charged with murder, I wanted to change the subject, so I rambled on about my entertaining prowess. I don’t have any amazing skills in this area—I lied. But it made Luke smile again.
I pout. “Why would you think that?”
“It could have something to do with the fact I’ve heard the stories that Avery has told about your past attempts at having friends over for dinner.”
My breathing slows. “You listened to her when she was telling everyone that?” Luke has never really engaged in any of the conversations we have at the bar.
He doesn’t reply straight away, but rather leans forward in his seat and meets my gaze. When he speaks, his voice is low and deep. “Of course I listened.”
My ears roar with the sound of my heart beating. Because I’m tongue-tied, and my brain isn’t thinking straight, I blurt out, “I’ll prove to you that I can cook a roast. You come for dinner, and I’ll blow your mind with my cooking skills.”
His smile turns sexy as does his voice. “Callie, you’ve already blown my mind, but I won’t say no to another opportunity.”
My excitement at his acceptance quickly fizzles. “Oh, but can you get a night off from the bar?”
“Avery didn’t have any problems the other night without me, so I don’t see why not. Just tell me when and I’ll be there.”
I want to tell him to book it in for one month’s time so I can practice the hell out of cooking a roast, but I can’t wait that long to have Luke all to myself in my home. “How about next Monday night? Is that your slowest night at the bar?”
“Yeah. Sounds good. I’ll bring dessert.”
“You don’t need to. I can make something.”
Fuck, can you dig yourself any deeper?
For the love of God, stop talking.
He smirks. “I’m looking forward to this.”
I reach across the table and smack him on the chest. “Smart ass. I’ll show you.”
He breaks out in laughter, and I am mesmerised. I trace the lines of laughter on his face and commit the sound to my memory. I’ve dedicated a special place for Luke there, and I hope it won’t take long to be overflowing with these kinds of memories.
7
Luke
“Mum told me about Jolene,” Tyler says as he helps me with my books. His accounting degree has come in handy because I have little patience for figures.
“I swear that woman doesn’t understand the concept of ‘private’,” I mutter with a shake of my head.
He looks up at me from across the desk. Frowning, he says, “You didn’t want me to know?” I understand his confusion. I’ve never hidden anything from him before, but this is different.
“It’s not that, Ty. The police told me not to tell anyone. I only told Mum because I needed to ask her for help.”
“Ah, and if she’s told me, who else has she told?” He grasps where I’m coming from. Our mother has loose lips a lot of the time, but I had hoped she would be more discerning with who she shared this information.
I nod. “Yeah. Hopefully, she hasn’t spread this across town.”
“So, this is a fucked-up situation. Have you spoken to the lawyer yet?”
It’s been two days since I spoke to both Mum and the lawyer, and I still haven’t heard much back from him yet. Nodding, I say, “He’s working on it.”
“And, shit, you had to fake it with Jolene? That must have sucked. Knowing you’re sitting across the table from a murderer who also happens to be the mother of your child.”
He doesn’t know the half of it. My brother is only two years younger than me, and yet some days that gap feels like a decade or more. Tyler still fucks around with his friends and hasn’t yet learnt the reality of responsibilities. I hope he draws this phase of his life out for years, because once you burden yourself with the mess of life, there’s no turning back.
“I don’t know what to feel anymore, Ty.” I’m honest with him, more hones
t than I’ve been in a long time, even with myself. I think it’s having Callie in my life now, because having her by my side will impact my son’s life significantly, and I can’t stop thinking about where life will lead me now.
“Why? I thought you’d worked through a lot of this already.”
“When I look at Jolene now, all I see are lies and betrayal. I’m disgusted that I fell for all that. And at the same time, she’s the mother of my child, and I have this connection with her that I’ll always have.”
“Do you still love her?” There’s no judgement in his question, unlike when my mother asked me this same question. It’s one of the many things I love about my brother; he’s always on my side.
I give him the most honest answer I have. “I think I fell out of love with Jolene a long time ago. We existed in a loveless marriage for a while there. And since she went to prison, I’ve moved through every emotion under the sun. I resented her for a long time, even when I thought she was innocent. I felt like my life had been ripped from me, all because of her. I felt guilty as hell over that, because what kind of husband feels resentment towards a wife who was wrongfully punished? And then when I discovered she really was guilty, I hated her. I’ve spent a long time living in that hate.” I take a breath. “I never wanted Sean to grow up without both parents together—I never wanted what you and I had for my son. I worked my ass off and let a lot of shit slide between Jolene and me to give him that life. And yet, she screwed it up anyway.”
“I’m sorry, Luke. I mean, I know we’ve talked about all this before, and I’ve thought about how it’s affected your life, but I don’t think I ever considered how conflicting it must be for you. To me, on the outside looking in, it seemed clear-cut. First, she was innocent, and then she was guilty. But, it’s not as simple as all that, is it?”
I shake my head. “Nothing ever is, Ty.”