by Levine, Nina
Once he had me settled, he positioned himself next to me and placed his arms around my shoulders, pulling me close. I rested my head on his chest and curled into him. Tiredness threatened to claim me, but I did my best to fight it. I wanted to spend this time with J, and reconnect after two days apart.
Shifting so I could look up at him, I said, “Maybe I should go away more often if that’s how you’ll fuck me when I come home.”
He scowled. “Madison, if that’s how you want me to fuck you, I can do that every day. There’s no need to go away just to get that.”
I smiled and pushed up off the bed so I could go to the bathroom. “Be back in a minute,” I said and left him.
When I came back to the bed, I took in the tiredness that lined his face. “Has work gotten worse?” The club was under a lot of pressure at the moment with a new drug dealer in town giving them hell, and I worried every day for J’s safety. Actually, I worried for every member’s safety.
He frowned. “No, nothing has changed. I don’t want you to worry, okay?”
I positioned myself next to him on my stomach and draped my arm across his chest. “Of course I’m going to worry. You guys are out there every day dealing with that asshole. Until he’s sorted out, I’ll keep worrying because losing you would kill me.”
He took hold of my hand and changed the subject—probably to distract me, but also because this was a subject he always wanted to talk about. “It’s time you agreed to a baby.” The way he watched me and the fierce tone he took let me know we were headed into dangerous territory. J’s desire for children right now clashed with my desire to wait at least six to twelve months. We’d only been married for just under a year and I wanted more time alone with him before bringing a child into our relationship. J, on the other hand, was a stubborn bastard and had been doing everything to convince me to have a baby now.
I held his gaze. “Now is most definitely not the time for me to be getting pregnant. Not with all the shit the club is in at the moment. I don’t want to bring a child into that kind of environment.”
“Bullshit,” he said, annoyance flashing in his eyes. “You’re just using that as an excuse. This shit will be over soon so there’s no reason to even factor it into your decision.”
“You don’t know that for sure.” I was clutching at straws. Hopefully he’d let it go like he usually did.
He watched me for another couple of moments. Then, without warning, he flipped me onto my back and positioned himself over me, pinning my arms above my head. Bending his head, he took one of my nipples into his mouth and sucked it. He then did the same to the other one. His knee moved so he could push my legs apart. When he had me how he wanted me, he brought his face close to mine. “Maybe I should fuck you into agreeing to this because I’m sure as hell getting tired of hearing the word ‘no’.”
“You don’t fight fair, J.”
He raised his brows. “I don’t fight fair? Who the fuck do you think controls my dick? And who the fuck do you think always gets what she wants by way of controlling my dick?”
I bit my lip. He had a point. J might be a bossy asshole, but when it came down to it, I had my ways of getting what I wanted out of him.
When I didn’t reply, he carried on. “Now that we’ve established that, let’s establish the fact that this is going to happen.”
“Baby, I told you that I do want kids with you, but I want us to wait a few more months before we try to get pregnant.”
He shook his head. “No, no more waiting. I’m done with fucking around.”
Something in his voice caught my attention. “Tell me why this is so important to you,” I said softly. There was definitely something there that I’d missed every other time we’d had this conversation, and something told me it was important.
He let my wrists go and sat back. After a beat, he said, “I want a family, Madison. I want kids running around and I want you as their mother. And I don’t want to waste another minute arguing about this. Life’s too short not to have what you want.”
I sat up and shifted close to him. Laying my palm gently on his cheek, I said, “This is because of your mum and dad, isn’t it? You don’t feel like you have ties, and you want them.”
“I have you. And Brooke. And Storm. I have ties.” His voice was gruff, and I knew I’d hit the nail on the head even if he was being stubborn about admitting it.
“It’s okay, J, I get it now. I understand where you’re coming from.”
We sat watching each other for a few moments, silently communicating our understanding. Finally, he nodded and I knew that was the only acknowledgement I would get that I was right, but it was all I needed. “So, you’ll change your mind?”
I smiled as a sense of peace about my decision flowed through me. Nodding, I said, “Yes.” Of course I would give J what he wanted. What he needed. I could never deny the man I loved those things. Not now that I knew his reason.
Relief filled his face. “Jesus, woman, you know how to make a man work for something.”
Grinning at him, I said, “It was all just practice for the main event. Now we get down to the real work, and let me tell you—you’re gonna have to work hard if you want to get me pregnant.”
He returned my grin. “I’m all about the hard work, Madison. Christ, you’ve put me through my paces over the years. I think you might be the one underestimating just how worn out you’re going to get.”
I shifted so I was sitting in his lap, and put my arms around his neck. Kissing him, I said, “Let the games begin.”
3
J & Madison
This is a short flash fiction chapter I wrote for J & Madison. I often write these flash fiction pieces while I’m warming up for writing.
* * *
“I need this baby out of me!”
J eyed me as I entered the lounge room where he sat watching TV. “She’s not due for another week, babe.”
My eyes bulged. He was so damn casual about everything, but I was the one carrying her around and dealing with heartburn and back pain. It was irrational, I knew, to be mad at J, but I couldn’t help myself. My hormones were all over the place and the heat was getting to me. This Queensland weather was unbearable at the best of times, let alone when you were carrying what felt like a whale in your stomach.
I hit him with a filthy glare before turning and stalking back into the kitchen. A cold drink might help. And while I was there, I’d shove my head in the freezer for a good five minutes. I was seriously contemplating praying too. Not something I’d ever done, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
J’s hands slid around my waist a minute later as I guzzled some icy water. His lips grazed my ear. “I’m an asshole, baby. How about I run you a cold bath and get you in it?”
I rested my head back against his chest, my irritation at him forgotten as his touch calmed me. “Oh God, that sounds good, but I’ll never get out of it. Have you seen the size of me lately? I’m a freaking blimp.”
He kissed my neck and ran his hands over my stomach before finding his way to my breasts. “You’re not a blimp, Madison. You’re beautiful. And these tits are something fucking else.”
I smacked his hands away. “I’m not having sex with you today, J. I’m too damn hot and bothered.”
“Yeah you are, so get your ass in the bath and cool down. I’ll get you out when we’re done.”
I turned to face him. “When we’re done? There’s no way you’ll fit in there with me.”
He backed me up against the fridge, the bossy expression I knew well, settling on his face. “Babe, stop thinking and let me take care of you for once. You’re nowhere near as big as you think you are, so if I wanted to get in that bath with you, I could. But I don’t—”
I frowned. “You don’t want to take a bath with me?”
I didn’t blame him when he cursed softly under his breath. I was annoying myself with my emotional whiplash, so I could imagine how frustrating I was to him. These bloody
hormones were out of control.
Taking hold of my face with both hands, he moved closer and kissed me. My pregnancy had called for lots of his kisses. They were one of the only things that calmed me when I got moody or anxious.
And God how I’d been anxious.
There were so many things to worry about for our child. Would the delivery go okay? Would she be healthy? Would J and I figure out this parenting thing or would we fuck her life up? Would she grow up without getting into drugs or other stuff that would harm her? Would she find love and be happy?
So many things I’d never thought about before.
How did parents even get through a day?
“Madison,” J’s gravelly voice cut through my thoughts. “Stop thinking, baby. Everything’s going to be okay. Willow’s going to be healthy and we’re not gonna fuck shit up. I’ve got you, and I’ve got her, and I’ll never let anything happen to either of you.”
I sank into him.
Thank God he was mine.
I smiled up at him as the tension left me. “I love you, Jason Reilly,” I said softly, feeling every ounce of that love as he tried to put my mind at ease.
He brushed another kiss across my lips. “I love you, too.” He stepped away from me. “Now get in the bathroom and let me get my eyes on those tits.”
4
J & Madison
Madison
This scene takes place during the same time Gunnar’s story was set.
* * *
“I’m too sweaty to have sex with you right now,” I say as J wraps his arms around me. I’ve just come home from the gym and I need a shower before I can even contemplate fucking him. And coffee. God, I could go a coffee.
He doesn’t remove his arms. “I don’t give a fuck if you’re sweaty.”
I smack his arms away. “I do.”
Our daughter takes this moment to wake up, crying in her room, and J mutters, “Fuck.” Meeting my gaze in the bathroom mirror, he says, “You’re mine tonight. It’s been too fucking long.”
I roll my eyes. “I fucked you yesterday morning, J. That’s hardly too fucking long. Some men go without sex for weeks, you know. Some go months. I’m sure there are even men who go years.”
“Not us, Madison.”
With that, he leaves me to go take care of Willow.
I love my husband and I love sex, but goodness, he’s becoming too much. Not because of his demands for sex, but because he’s trying to get me pregnant again.
I’m not ready to think about having another baby. Willow’s only six months old. I want time with her before having another child, and I want time with J. His rush to fall pregnant again is too much, and we’re going to have a conversation about that tonight when he gets home from work, which means I need to spend today mentally preparing for that. Thank God I’m seeing my girls today. Their support always lifts me up and helps me take charge of the things in my life that I need to take charge of. Like J. Ugh, I love this man like crazy, but he drives me crazy at times.
I shower and dress before joining J and Willow in the kitchen. He’s got her in his arms and is talking to her. He doesn’t hear me come in, so I take a moment to watch them. It’s one of my favourite things to do.
“When you grow up, you stick to your guns, baby. Not quite as much as your mother sticks to hers, but don’t ever let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do.”
Willow grips his cheeks while babbling happy sounds.
“Now, we need to make her coffee. It’s the way to her heart in the morning. And trust me, we need to find a way there today. She’s grumpy.”
“Am I?” I say.
He turns to me, grinning. “Yeah, you are.”
I move to him, placing my hand on his ass. “I’m just keeping you on your toes, baby.”
“I’m on my fucking toes. Trust me on that.”
I laugh and kiss him. “Good. Keep it that way.”
“You fucking kill me, Madison. You know that?”
He puts Willow in her high chair and makes me coffee and her breakfast. I sit next to her and watch him while he moves around the kitchen. J only gets better looking with every passing year. I should know; some days I feel like I need to fight other women off. But he only has eyes for me. Luckily. I’d have his balls otherwise.
“I love you,” I say when he hands me a mug of coffee.
Sitting on the other side of Willow, he eyes me. “You fucking better, woman.” He starts feeding Willow. “What are you girls up to today?”
I sip some coffee. “Velvet’s got the day off, so she and Harlow are meeting us for lunch. I thought I might clean out the spare room too. It’s a mess in there. Have you got a busy day on?”
He nods. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Madison,” my mother calls from the front door. She has a key and lets herself in when she comes over. Because she knows J likes to have sex all the damn time, she always announces herself when she enters.
“In the kitchen, Mum,” I call back.
She bustles in, placing her handbag down on the kitchen counter. “I need to borrow your hairdryer. Mine just blew up.”
J looks at her like she’s a crazy person. “You drove here just to dry your hair?”
I stand. “Of course she did. I would have too.”
“I’ll never fucking understand some things,” he mutters, and then to Willow, he says, “You won’t do crazy stuff like that, will you, baby girl?”
Willow loves her daddy and smiles so big it makes my heart hurt. God, I could watch these two for hours.
Mum and I head into my bathroom and while she dries her hair, I say, “You’re seeing that guy today, aren’t you? The one you met on Bumble.”
She smiles. “Yes.” She stops the hairdryer. “Do you think I look okay? Is this outfit okay?”
“You look beautiful, Mum, and this dress is gorgeous. If he doesn’t like what he sees, he’s blind.” I love watching my mum date and seeing her genuinely happy.
“I’m so nervous, Madison. It doesn’t seem right to be this nervous at my age.”
“This is good, though.”
She frowns. “How do you figure that?”
“Because it means if you two get on, there will be butterflies. And butterflies and falling in love is everything that I want for you.”
She stills, like I’ve said something important. When she speaks, her voice is full of emotion. “Thank you. That means everything to me.”
My heart squeezes with love. Mum and I don’t share many moments like this, so this feels super special. “Gah. Now I’m all choked up.”
“Me too, and I can’t ruin my make-up, so you need to go and leave me to dry my hair.”
I smile. “I’m going!”
I head back out to J and Willow. They’re finished with her breakfast and J’s put her down on her playmat while he’s cleaning up the kitchen.
I move behind him and slide my arms around him, leaning against his back, suddenly craving this closeness.
“What did I do to deserve this?” he asks, taking hold of my hands that are clasped around his chest.
“I love you, J, but you need to understand that I’m not ready to get pregnant again.” I can’t wait to discuss this tonight; I need him to know it now.
Turning, he meets my gaze. The look in his eyes tells me he’s finally paying attention to what I’m saying. To what I’ve been trying to say for weeks now. “When are you thinking?”
“I honestly don’t know. I want time with Willow to really bond with her before she has a sibling. And I want us to have time too. It’s hard to find that time with one child. Imagine how much harder it’ll be with two.”
He thinks about this for a moment and then says, “I know I’m an impatient bastard. I just need to know it will happen.”
I smile up at him. “It will definitely happen. I want lots of kids with you.”
His hands slip around my waist and rest on my ass before he brings his mouth to mine. Kissing me like it’s his job
, he says, “Lots is a good fucking word.”
I know my husband well, so I know where his brain has gone. “Because it means lots of sex?”
Heat flashes in his eyes. “You remember how much sex it took us to fall pregnant with Willow?”
“I’ll never forget it, baby.”
He kisses me again. “Okay, so we’ll delay getting pregnant.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Why was this so easy? You’ve been hardcore on wanting another child straight away.”
“I’m still hardcore on that, but I listened to you,” he says, his tone more serious than J ever gives me. “And I’m hearing what you’re saying. I agree that we need time together, and since I’m more hardcore on keeping us strong than I am about having another kid soon, we’ll delay.”
My tummy comes alive with butterflies at what he says. “I love you, Jason Reilly. You might drive me crazy some days, but you never fail to give me what I need.”
His lips brush mine again, and then he gives me the J I know and love and want to sometimes kill. “Don’t fucking think I’m pulling back on fucking you, Madison. If we only have one kid, we have all the fucking time in the world for sex.”
I roll my eyes. “Only you would think that.”
His grin as he smacks my ass and says, “Tonight, you’re mine” stays with me all day. J might do my head in at times, but God I love him and never want to do any of this without him.
5
Blade & Layla
Layla
This scene takes place around the same time as the events in Gunnar’s book.
* * *
I wipe down the bar as I watch Donovan enter. It’s just after 10:00 p.m. and I haven’t heard from him all day. A rare occurrence for us. We usually speak a couple of times throughout the day. Taking him in now, I can see the stress he’s carrying.