by Levine, Nina
Placing my hand to his face, I bring my lips to his and kiss him. “Only you have the ability to push your way through my hormones and make me change my mind on things I didn’t think I’d ever change my mind on.” I kiss him again. “I don’t ever want to force you to do something you’re not comfortable with.”
Relief crosses his face and I wish I could take back everything I’ve said to him tonight. I truly dislike causing my husband concern. However, I know we needed to have this conversation in order for me to move past what I’ve been feeling. This is what I’m so grateful for with Scott: the way he’s always willing to have the hard conversations with me so we can communicate our needs and find a way to compromise.
“I love you, Harlow,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. Skimming his hands down over my thighs, he reaches for the hem of my dress so he can strip me of it. His eyes remain on mine, flaring with desire, as he growls, “I’m ready for you to talk dirty to me while I give you my tongue.”
My smile is sexy as I loop my hand around his neck. “I’m ready to fly, baby.”
Scott scoops me into his arms and carries me into our bedroom before making good on his promise to give me his tongue.
He doesn’t give me the kind of sex I thought I wanted, but he gives me his heart and soul, and that is everything to me. That is all I ever need.
7
Scott & Harlow
Scott
This scene takes place in the same time frame that Gunnar’s book was set. Harlow gives birth to their son just after Gunnar & Chelsea get back together, and in this scene, she is 8 months pregnant.
* * *
Having kids had never been on my list of shit to do in life. Neither had getting married and settling down. Turned out I was made to do both, and the woman I’d chosen to do them with was making the journey sweet as fuck.
“Aurora, no,” Harlow said as I entered the kitchen after work late Friday afternoon. Bending to pick up the bowl Aurora had pushed to the floor, she continued, “Please don’t do that.”
When Harlow stood and placed the bowl back on the tray of the high chair, Aurora said, “No, no, no,” and with one swipe of her arm, knocked the bowl to the floor again.
I watched Harlow struggle with her frustration and saw the moment she teetered on the edge of losing her temper. We’d had a week of temper tantrums from Aurora, her first ones ever, and we were both learning the ropes of dealing with them. Being eight months pregnant and tired, along with having to do most of the hard yards at home while I’d been busy with club stuff, meant Harlow was in definite need of a break.
Sliding an arm around Harlow’s waist, I pulled her against me, her back to my chest. My lips grazed her neck as I brushed a kiss there and said, “I’ve got this.”
The way her body relaxed into mine told me she’d had a long day. Turning, she met my gaze with an, “I love you” that was loaded with both gratitude and love.
My eyes locked firmly with hers as I placed my hand on her belly. Every chance I got, I had my hand there. “You wanna rest for a bit and then maybe go out for the night?” Aurora continued to bash her spoon on her tray and protest loudly, but since she wasn’t causing herself any harm I ignored her for the moment to concentrate on my wife.
Harlow smiled. With her hands to my chest, she leaned close and caught my lips in a slow kiss that would have led other places if not for our daughter needing our attention. “I really love you,” she murmured when she ended the kiss. “And although a night out sounds amazing, I’m gonna choose sleep. Mostly because I’m exhausted, but also because maybe I’ll get some time with my husband after he’s got our daughter to sleep.”
My gut tightened. Lifting my chin towards the hall, I said, “Go. Get some sleep. You’re gonna need it.” I was a selfish bastard when given the opportunity. Harlow could do with a week of straight sleep but no fucking way was she getting it tonight after that invitation.
Heat flashed in her eyes and she gave me another quick kiss. Then, after giving Aurora a kiss, she did as I said. I watched her ass leave the room and allowed myself a few moments thinking about what I’d do to that ass later, before turning to Aurora.
“Are you giving Mummy hell today, baby girl?” I asked as I lifted her out of the high chair.
She gave me a huge smile as I brought her close. “Da-da,” she gurgled, her chubby little fingers gripping a chunk of my hair while another piece of my heart was stolen simply by her existence.
I hadn’t been prepared for the overwhelming feelings Aurora brought out in me. The sheer love I felt and the fierce determination to safeguard her often threatened to consume me whole. I knew I would go to the ends of the earth to give her whatever she needed. I knew I would fight to my dying breath to protect her. I knew I would fall to my knees if any harm ever came to her.
Touching her nose, I returned her smile. “We need to work on your skills, darlin’. Stick with me. I’ll teach you how to handle your mother to get what you want without upsetting her.” I walked us into the bathroom, continuing with the conversation I figured I’d still be repeating for years. “Upsetting Mummy isn’t a nice thing to do. She does everything for you and loves you very much, and when someone cares for you like that, you should do everything you can to care for them back.”
Aurora stared at me with fascination and that beautiful smile of hers while I spoke. After one last tug of my hair, she let it go to bring her fingers to my face. This was our daily routine. I always came home from work and took over from Harlow, bringing Aurora in for a shower with me while I talked about random shit the entire time. Aurora seemed to love the sound of my voice and would listen for quite a while without getting fidgety. Our time together calmed her down which was usually what she needed. And it gave Harlow a small break, which she also needed.
Thirty minutes later, we were both clean and dressed, and Aurora was gurgling away on the couch while I sat next to her preparing to read to her. We spent half an hour there and worked our way through two books and a long conversation about bikes. The day would come when she’d actually understand the shit I told her about them, but until then I’d continue rattling off information while she sat next to me alternating between watching me and playing with her toy.
Two hours after I’d come home, I slid into place behind Harlow on our bed. I pulled her close against me, resting one hand on her belly and pressing my lips to her neck. Her scent consumed me like it always did, but I fought against waking her. As much as I wanted to fuck her, I wanted her to sleep more.
“Is Aurora down?” she asked softly, her voice husky.
I tightened my hold on her and said, “Yeah. Go back to sleep, baby.”
She wiggled her ass against me. “I don’t wanna sleep now.”
I groaned, my dick hardening. “You need to sleep. You’re exhausted.”
Turning to face me, she brushed her lips over mine. “That is true, but I want time with you more than sleep.” She paused briefly before adding quietly, “Soon, we won’t have much time for just the two of us.”
Something in her voice caused me to pay closer attention to what she was saying. “Are you worried about this?” I knew having two children under the age of two wasn’t gonna be a walk in the park, but I wasn’t concerned we couldn’t handle it. Harlow’s tone led me to believe she wasn’t as convinced.
Her eyes searched mine for a beat before she exhaled and nodded, “Yeah, I am. Between how busy you are with the club and how busy we’ll be with two kids, I don’t think there will be a lot of time left for us. And…. Well, there are just a lot of things to think about, that’s all.”
I frowned. “What things?”
She let the question hang between us for a few moments before shaking her head. “No, nothing. Just ignore me. I’m mainly worried about—”
“Harlow,” I pushed her, my tone bossy, “Don’t tell me to ignore you when there’s clearly something on your mind. I want to know what it is.”
Her hands came to my chest
and she attempted to push out of my embrace. When I refused to allow that, she said, “Scott, it’s nothing. I’m being stupid.”
“You’re never being stupid, sweetheart. Talk to me.” My mind worked hard trying to figure it out but for the life of me, I came up empty. I had no clue what she was referring to.
She drew in a long breath and dropped her gaze before finally saying, “It really is just me being silly.” Finding my eyes again, she continued, “I feel fat and frumpy and useless at the moment. I barely lost all the weight I put on from Aurora’s pregnancy before I got pregnant again, and this time I’ve put on a lot more weight. I know it’s my hormones and my tiredness causing this mess of emotions and feelings, but I can’t shake it. And I’m worried I’ll let you down when the baby is born. Will I have enough energy to do everything I need to do? Will you come home every night to chaos and screaming children I can’t control? Will you start coming home later because of that? God, I hate dumping all of this on you. I’m being neurotic and—”
I pressed a finger to her lips. “You never apologise for dumping stuff on me. That’s what I’m here for. Now, as for your weight—I don’t see it. Plain and fucking simple. All I see are curves for miles and tits I wanna get lost in. And I know that’s not what you wanna hear, but fuck it, that’s what you need to hear. You are by far the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on and having babies is only making your body more beautiful to me.” I lifted my brows questioningly as I asked, “Are you hearing me?”
She swallowed like she was fighting tears, but she nodded. “Yes.”
“Good,” I said with some force, “because I don’t want this negative shit filling your head. And if it continues to do that, you come to me and talk it out again. Now, as for everything else you said, you need to know only one thing going forward: I am one hundred fucking percent committed to our family. What that means is if you don’t have enough energy to do shit, I will do it. If I come home to chaos and screaming kids, I’ll deal with it. And as for coming home later, there’s no fucking way in hell that will ever happen.” I put my finger under her chin and angled her face up to ensure she looked me dead in the eye as I added, “You need to know I spend half my days trying to figure out how to get home sooner to you and the other half of them trying to figure out how to stop thinking about fucking you. You’re always on my mind, Harlow.”
She blinked through the tears that were now streaming down her cheeks. Taking hold of my face, she kissed me. Long and hard. I felt every bit of her need and worry and hope in this kiss, and I gave it all back to her.
When she ended the kiss, she said, “Thank you.”
I shook my head. “Don’t thank me. Fuck, it’s what a husband does, and if he doesn’t, he’s not fucking worth having.”
She drew closer to me, sliding her leg over mine and gripping my bicep. “I love that you put up with my lapses in confidence and reassure me that everything will be okay. You need to know, though, that this’ll probably happen again before the baby is born. Like, it’s highly probable it will happen a few more times. Just warning you now.”
I held onto her eyes, not letting them go. “Yeah.” I fucking hated that she had to deal with this hormonal shit and would do anything to take it away for her. The least I could do was listen and try to ease her mind. “We agree right now to not handle shit on our own. You come to me whenever you need to vent or cry or whatever the fuck you need to do. Okay?”
A smile spread out slowly across her face, giving me what I needed. It was all I needed from Harlow any day—a smile to let me know she was okay. “Okay.”
Shifting her leg off mine so I could reach for her panties, I said, “Is there anything else you need to talk about before I lose the ability to comprehend anything you say?”
At the shake of her head, I slid my hand into her panties and growled, “Thank fuck because I’m not sure I can last much longer without getting my mouth on this pussy.”
8
Scott & Harlow
Scott
This scene takes place just after Gunnar & Chelsea’s book.
* * *
“Don’t worry about things here,” Griff says over the phone, “I’ve got everything handled. Stay with Harlow as long as she needs you.”
I exhale a breath. “Appreciate it, brother.”
We end the call and I look at Harlow asleep in our bed. She gave birth to our son, Keaton, five days ago and has been struggling with exhaustion. She wasn’t well the week before she gave birth and never recovered her strength. I’ve stayed home with her and the kids while Griff keeps the club running. Thank fuck we don’t have much going on right now.
Keaton starts crying in his cradle next to our bed, waking Harlow. He needs a change of nappy, so I take care of that before bringing him to her. She’s sitting in bed waiting for us, her face lined with exhaustion.
Reaching her arms out to me to take Keaton, she says, “You shouldn’t have let me sleep so long.”
“You need to sleep, sweetheart.” I sit next to her on the bed as she brings our son to her breast.
“I know, but you’re just as tired as me. I want you to get some rest now.”
“We can both sleep for a while once he’s down. Aurora’s asleep.” It’s just after 9:00 p.m.
Harlow nods. “I’d like that. I miss you next to me.”
I’ve been up and down for the last two days while Aurora’s been fussing. I fucking miss being next to her too.
“Thank fuck he’s got that figured out,” I say as I watch her breastfeed. Aurora struggled with this, so I wasn’t sure how Keaton would go, but he hasn’t had any issues.
Harlow smiles before glancing down at her son. “He’s just like his daddy.”
I cross my feet and rest my head against the bedhead. “Griff’s got shit handled at the club. I don’t need to go in until you’re back on your feet.”
“I should be good tomorrow. I slept a lot today.”
“I’m not going back tomorrow. I want you to have a few days of rest to really recover.”
“Scott,” she starts, but I cut her off.
“I’m not getting into a discussion about this, Harlow. We’ve got a one year old and a newborn. You need to gather enough strength for them both.”
“Madison offered to come and help.”
“Yeah, and she can when I go back.”
“My God, you are so freaking stubborn.”
I look at her, my brows arched. “And you’re not?”
Her smile reaches deep into my veins. I could survive off those smiles alone. “I do love you, Scott Cole, but seriously, your bossiness is reaching new levels.”
I lean across and brush a kiss over her lips. “And it’s only gonna get worse if you don’t listen to me. I want you better, so stop arguing with me.”
She watches me silently for a few moments before saying, “What do you think he’ll be when he grows up?”
Harlow loves to talk about our kids’ futures. Not in the kind of way a controlling mother would, but rather in a curious way. She likes to imagine the possibilities for them.
“He’ll join the club.”
She nods. “Yes, that’s what I think too.” She smiles again. “And he’ll have your crinkles.”
She fucking loves my eye crinkles.
“I fuckin’ hope so for his sake. They keep the women around.”
“The women?” She teases. “I thought I was your only one.”
“Baby, I couldn’t fuckin’ handle more than one woman. Trust me when I say I’m at my limit.”
“I’ll be sure to keep you on your toes so you stay at that limit.”
“I think these kids will help with that.”
Worry fills her features. “Do you think we were dumb to have two so close together?”
I frown. “No. Are you concerned?”
“I’d be lying if I told you I think we’ll be fine. I think it’s going to be hard. Like, really hard some days.”
“I’m not go
nna let us fail, Harlow.”
She reaches out and takes my hand. “I know you won’t, Scott, but sometimes there’s only so much we can do. Sometimes it’ll all still fall to shit even when we do everything we can to make sure it doesn’t. Sometimes it’ll take a whole heap of faith on top of everything else just to get by. I need you to be prepared for that.”
She’s right, and this is why I fucking love her. I’ve always forced my way through life to make shit happen. Harlow’s taught me that isn’t always enough to get what we want. She’s taught me that it’s okay for it to not be enough, so long as we stick together. Love keeps a couple together when giving our all isn’t enough. It might be fucking hard, and it might be nights of silence in the dark, but we just have to fucking stick it out with love.
I squeeze her hand. “I’m prepared.”
Her eyes meet mine. “I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone but you.”
“I wouldn’t fuckin’ let you do it with anyone but me.”
We fall into an easy silence while Keaton finishes feeding and once he’s done, I take him from her and burp him before rocking him to sleep and placing him in his cradle.
Stripping out of my jeans and shirt, I slide into bed next to Harlow and pull her into my arms. She rests her head on my chest and hooks a leg over mine. It’s not going to take either of us long to fall asleep tonight.
She surprises me, though, when she says, “Do you remember how we were back having sex four weeks after Aurora was born?”