Verakko could feel his pulse thrumming through his body. “Yes. Eventually. I just need to settle something with my mother first.”
Her eyes brightened. “You would go with me? Does that mean we could date?” Lily’s gaze turned quizzical. “But I thought your mother had to choose a wife for you from your city.” Her shoulders slumped, but then that determined look returned to her eyes. “Do you think it would ever be possible for me to negotiate a contract with your mom? I’d only want to pretend we were trying to get pregnant, obviously, and we could keep extending the contract if that’s allowed, but it could be a way of dating.” Lily looked at him, embarrassment clear in her features. “I know we’ve already been over this… I just thought…after last night, maybe you’d thought of a different solution?” She lifted her brows at him hopefully.
“What if I told you we could be together forever, as mates?” he said hesitantly, tracking every expression that crossed Lily’s face.
Her brows shot up momentarily, then drew together. Her expression turned distant as she thought, muttering “mates” under her breath.
Verakko could heart his heart pumping in his ears as he waited with bated breath for her reply.
“Uh…” She bit her lower lip. “A week ago, I would’ve said you were crazy, but…” She nodded uncertainly, tipping her head from side to side. “Maybe if we could date a while first.”
Fuck. “There’s something I need to tell you, Lily.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “What?”
“I lied before, about what my eyes changing means.” She remained silent, so he reluctantly continued. “When a Clecanian’s eyes change, it means they’ve recognized a potential mate.”
“It doesn’t have to do with your health?” She shook her head in confusion. “Then why did you tell me it did?”
“Well, at the time, I didn’t want to scare you away. You were already so wary of me.”
“Scare me off?” Lily studied him and crossed her arms over her chest, her confused expression becoming more suspicious by the second. “Verakko, tell me whatever it is you’re trying to say. I’m not following. You think I’m your mate? What does that mean? I thought it meant married for life. But we aren’t married, so how could we be mated?”
“When a Clecanian recognizes a potential mate, potentially the one person in the universe meant for them, their eyes will change,” he explained, trying to mentally force her to understand what they were to each other. “Then later on, when they’ve recognized them fully, marks appear on their hands.”
“One person in the universe…?” Lily blinked at him, then her lips parted. “Soul-mate.” She said the words calmly, but her eyes were alight with some unknown emotion. “You think I could be your soulmate because your eyes turned black?”
He let out an exasperated breath. “I felt you were my mate from the first day, but I was so confused, because my eyes hadn’t changed.”
“But you made me think you couldn’t be with me for some reason. If you thought I could possibly be your mate, why wouldn’t you just tell me?”
His muscles tensed at the accusation in her tone, and he began pacing. “At first, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it mattered. You didn’t like me very much and I didn’t recognize you, so I decided I must’ve been imagining the pull I felt toward you. But then things between us changed.”
Verakko’s gaze darted around wildly. He wanted her to understand the chaos that had been brewing in his mind. His reasons for keeping all this from her had seemed sensible at the time, but now, saying them out loud, he knew what they’d all been. Cowardly excuses. He hadn’t told her because he hadn’t wanted her to know about his engagement and treat him differently. That was the truth of it.
“I thought that maybe if my marks showed up and I knew you were my mate, everything would resolve itself, and my contract would’ve never mattered. But then they didn’t show up, yet my feelings for you only got stronger, and—”
She held up a hand. “Wait, what?” She licked her lips, and her chest started to rise and fall more quickly. She scrunched her lids closed in thought and shook her head. “You…you mean you’re married?” Her eyes flashed open at the last word, and Verakko recoiled at the anger flaring in their depths.
His skin broke out in a rare cold sweat. “No. Not married. Betrothed. But,” he added quickly as her breathing started to become more labored, “that contract will be void as soon as I announce that I’ve recognized you.”
Despite the scorching heat of the desert, ice sluiced down his back as he waited for her reaction.
Lily paced, eyes wide with furious disbelief. “This whole time? You’ve been lying to me this whole time?”
“I never technically lied…” Verakko’s words died in his mouth at the glare she suddenly leveled on him.
“Technically?” Lily spat. “Technically! You’ve let me go on believing I wasn’t good enough to be with you.”
“I never said that. You—” Verakko tried to reach out to her. She all but leapt away. Was that what she had in her mind? That they couldn’t be together because of some fault on her part? Verakko flushed with shame.
“You may not have said it, but that’s the conclusion I came to based on what you did and didn’t tell me! You said your mom, the Queen, would negotiate your marriage. You said I wasn’t an option for you and you can’t date. What else was I supposed to think? And this whole time you’ve been cheating on your girlfriend?” Lily yelled and began pacing again. Her arms whipped around wildly as she spoke. Her brows raised in brief surprise as though a thought had just occurred to her. She turned to him, seething. “You made me a part of it. Last night… I never would have… Why didn’t you just tell me?”
Verakko searched for an explanation, unsure how to make her understand that nothing but the fact that they were mated mattered anymore, but came up empty. He studied her face and winced. She was furious, spitting mad, but deep in her gaze he could see the hurt. It hadn’t registered in her at first, her initial reaction of anger overpowering, but the pain from his betrayal was rising now and settling itself alongside her anger.
“I’ve only met Ziritha a few times. That contract doesn’t matter anymore,” he pushed desperately. How to make her understand?
She paused her pacing and took a few steps away from him, a stray tear running down her cheek and scalding his insides. “Okay, tell me this. What if your eyes hadn’t changed? What would’ve happened then?”
“I…” Verakko snapped his mouth shut, clenching his jaw. Wasn’t that the problem he’d been working through for the past three days? Up until learning about his eyes changing, he hadn’t known what he was going to do.
Lily nodded, her chin trembling. “That’s what I thought. You would’ve married her, wouldn’t you? When would you have told me the truth, huh? When we walked into the city? Right before your actual wedding? Would you have strung me along until the last possible second to give yourself time to recognize me?” She shook her head and backed away from him down the side of the dune. “I know one thing. If that’s what soulmates on this planet do, I don’t want one.”
She was distancing herself from him both physically and mentally. He could see the emotion written plainly on her face vanish. Verakko cracked; he was losing her. “I didn’t know what else to do, mivassi!” he shouted, gripping his head with both hands.
“That name!” Fury flared to life on her face again. Her steps became clumsy as she backed away from him more quickly, heading down the opposite side of the dune. He followed. “Because you’re engaged! I’m the alternative.”
Lily stumbled, and Verakko’s eyes shot down to her feet. Cold terror sliced through him at the sight of rippling ground. He raised his hands. “Lily, stay still, you’re—”
“No! You…” A large purple bulb rose behind her, its thick stem slithering out of the sand and its petals swirling open. Another tear leaked out, and she focused on his eyes. “Your eyes. They changed again.”
>
He sprinted toward her as fast as he could, but he’d let her venture too far away. Her eyes widened, and she spun around just as the petals parted to reveal a long, deadly thorn. There was a flash of movement, then Lily was crumpling to her knees.
“No!” Verakko roared, catching her before she hit the ground. “Lily? Lily?” he yelled as he wrenched her away from the hidden curling vine-like base of the vonilace plant, now reaching out from below the sand to drag her under and siphon the moisture from her body.
“What was that?” she breathed, her eyes going in and out of focus.
“Stay awake, Lily,” he swayed with everything he had. Pain sliced through him as though someone had ripped his heart out of his chest.
Her eyes widened briefly, then grew hazy again.
“Fuck!” Verakko lifted her into his arms and ran. He needed to get her to the city. To the doctor. Lily’s lids slid closed, and she grew limp.
“Stay alive. Stay alive. Stay alive,” he swayed over and over, putting all the force he could muster into the demand.
As though the universe sensed the importance of speed, his pace suddenly increased. His feet carried him across the desert faster than he’d ever gone before. Without stopping, he peered down at his hands and saw his marks. Bright blue and taunting.
Chapter 16
“Just a little farther.”
Broken words and phrases clanged through her head, trying to settle themselves. Lily attempted to think past the fire burning its way through her veins. Verakko? Was that his voice?
“Stay alive, mivassi.”
Am I dying? She wanted to cry and sweat the burning sensation out of her veins, but there was nothing left. Every part of her felt shriveled and weathered. A bitter taste lingered on her tongue, and acid burned in her throat.
“I need you here with me, Lily. I don’t want to be anywhere you aren’t.”
I’m here.
Stabbing waves of nausea sliced through her belly. Then it all faded to black.
***
“Help her!” A bellow pounded against her ear drums and cut into the soft parts of her brain.
Muffled conversation surfaced around her, but she couldn’t make out much of it. The blistering heat inside had dulled and left her insides brittle. With each breath, it felt like another rib snapped in two until she didn’t want to breathe anymore.
“Stay alive.” The command rang through her mind again, and she held on to it.
Something stabbed into her neck, and she screamed in agony. On the verge of consciousness again, she tried to open her mouth to plead for it to stop but only tasted blood.
***
Cold. It was so cold here. Her whole body shuddered, violent tremors jostling her aching bones. She opened her eyes, but it was like looking through amber. Everything was distorted and tinted an awful orange.
She reached out her hands, pushing past the flare of pain and unrelenting nausea, and felt a cold, solid surface a few inches to her right. She reached to the left and found another surface.
“Verakko,” she tried to call, but it came out as little more than a rasp.
She reached above her and found she was encased on all sides. Her heart began to pound faster and with each beat, shards of glass cut at her insides. Panic took over, and she thrashed through the pain. I’m trapped. Is this a coffin? Why can’t I see?
Burning sobs tore up her throat. The tears building in her eyes felt like acid. Her breathing came in short gasps. Not enough air!
“Verakko!” she screamed as loudly as she could and slammed her hands on the coffin.
A thunderous banging sounded from all around her, along with the groan of metal and the tinkling of shattering glass. He was coming for her, she knew it.
A cool mist gathered around her suddenly, and her limbs fell limp.
Chapter 17
“I can’t leave!” Verakko shouted, stabbing his fingers through his hair. He stared at Lily, lying peacefully in the medbay bed.
“You need to go speak with the Queen. You have marks! She needs to be notified,” Desy countered. “She’s stable. I’m only keeping her under for a little while longer to ensure her blood has been fully cleansed.”
He stepped toward the door, but a knot twisted in his gut, halting him. “I can’t reveal them to my mother, Desy. She’ll force Lily to stay with me.”
Desy, the doctor assigned to work in his building, scanned the room with wide eyes as though searching for someone who’d talk sensibly. “As well she should! This human is your mate. The whole city should be alerted. Don’t you understand how momentous this is?”
Verakko barked out a laugh and felt a muscle in his eye twitch. “Obviously I do! I want to carry her through the streets and tell everyone who’ll listen that she’s my mate, but it isn’t that simple.” Verakko rubbed a hand over his neck again and stared at Lily. “You didn’t see the way she looked at me. She isn’t ready to be mated. Humans don’t feel the bond the way we do. I’m not sure they feel it at all. To her, I’m just a male. One who kept things from her.” He studied the blue marks crisscrossing over his wrists and hands. “She doesn’t understand the significance of these, and if my mother forces her to remain with me before I have time to ease her into the idea, she’ll resent me.”
Desy crossed his arms over his chest. “And what if she never wants to be your mate? What will you do then?”
Verakko’s throat worked past the painful lump forming. What will I do? He didn’t know. “I won’t force her to be with me. It wouldn’t be right.” He said the words without conviction, a hiss in his mind telling him he wasn’t selfless enough or strong enough to ever let her go.
“Oh really? What then? Live your life without your mate? You’ll grow more and more ill. You won’t ever be able to be with anyone else. No children. No marriages.” He stepped toward Verakko and gripped his shoulders. “Your mind will rot, Verakko. It’s unnatural. I can’t think of any instance in recorded history where a mated pair willingly remained apart for more than a few years. Not while both of them lived. It can’t be done. There will come a point where you won’t be able to stay away.”
“Maybe not,” Verakko argued, though he knew Desy’s words were true. He could feel the intensity of the pull even now. “The fact is, we aren’t a mated pair. I’m mated; she isn’t. Maybe the effects won’t be so bad for me because of that.”
Desy stared into Verakko’s resolute gaze for a long time before his hands dropped, and he let out a huff of frustration. “Fine. But you still need to go see her. You need to tell your mother…something. You know how much the people love Ziritha. If you and Lily are seen together in a way that appears at all improper, they’ll take it as an offense against their future queen. You’ll be reported for breach of contract, and then you’ll be forced to reveal your marks to avoid punishment.”
“No,” Verakko countered. “I’d take the punishment instead.” When Desy only shook his head in disbelief, Verakko held out his hands. “Do you have any paint?”
Grumbling, Desy crossed to a high compartment on his wall. He stopped in front of Verakko, holding an ancient-looking bottle of hand paint. “I’ll keep your marks a secret for now. Even though it goes against everything I believe. But I can’t keep her existence secret. As a new citizen, I’m required to report her existence to the Queen.”
“I’ll go speak with her now and ask to be assigned as Lily’s guardian.” Verakko inhaled deeply. “At least that will allow her to stay with me until I can convince her to accept the bond.”
Desy painted Verakko’s hands, the thick substance melding to his skin and changing color until it was indiscernible from his own complexion. “I’m somehow both envious of you and glad I’m not in your position.”
Verakko could only muster an insincere half grin. He shuffled to the door after his paint had dried, shooting furtive glances over his shoulder at Lily. Before leaving, he said, “Don’t wake her up before I get back unless you have to. I don’t want her think
ing I left her with a stranger.”
Desy sank into the chair near his desk and waved him away.
Only a few steps from the medbay, Verakko froze, his feet unwilling to carry him any farther. He ground his teeth and forced his body to move forward.
Once outside the tower, he climbed into a cruiser, directing it toward the palace, and rehearsed what he was going to say. He’d spoken to the Queen of Tremanta once while Lily was being healed by Desy, and now knew that his mother was aware of the humans but had decided to wait to announce their existence to her people. He didn’t know why, though. The Tremantian Queen had also acknowledged that his mother didn’t feel the humans should be granted the same right to decline their mate if they were recognized. That meant if she learned about his marks, or even that his eyes had changed in recognition, she would force Lily to stay with him.
Verakko groaned and fidgeted in his seat. Asking to be assigned as her guardian, the citizen who’d slowly introduce her to the culture and customs of this world, would be a stretch. A male on the verge of his marriage wouldn’t have time to be anyone’s guardian. How could he convince his mother to allow it? If Ziritha found out about his request, she may even take offense that he’d put another female’s needs above his own. If she saw it as a breach of contract, not even his mother could stop him from being shipped off-world.
He dropped his head into his hands and let out a bellow, injecting all his frustration into it.
The cruiser door slid open, revealing the colossal staircase leading up to the palace entry. He’d always hated climbing these stairs as a boy, never failing to become winded by the time he reached the top. All the stairways in Tremanta moved, carrying their passengers to their destination. Even the spiral stairways in the antiquated bunker Lily had been held in were mechanical. But not the Mithrandirian palace.
Verakko’s mood soured further as he climbed the steps, baking in the sun. No, in his hometown, they wanted a grand entrance that tired its visitors so when they finally arrived at the top, they had to pause for a breath. Their strength symbolically leeching into the queen’s domain to remind them of who was truly powerful here.
Saving Verakko: The Clecanian Series Book 3 Page 19