She turned to face Jane again. “Do you know they fought over a woman? As if it isn’t bad enough that my husband had affairs with heaven only knows how many women, but now I’ve discovered that Charles—” Her voice actually cracked. Giving her head a sharp shake, she took a deep breath and continued. “Now I know Castlefield is the same. That knowledge shouldn’t bother me, but it does.”
“It wasn’t like that—”
Ellen cut off Jane’s attempt to excuse her brother’s behavior. “Of course it was. And to make matters worse, I allowed myself to be taken in by his charm and his lies. Again. When will I ever learn that men can’t be trusted?” She turned away and looked out the window again. “I was beginning to allow myself to believe Castlefield cared for me. That perhaps he might even come to love me. But it was all just a game. Another way to get back at Laughton for whatever rivalry they had. And I know they were rivals. Castlefield made no qualms about hiding how much he hated my husband when he first learned of our betrothal.”
Ellen tried to hold on to her anger, but as the full realization of her error in judgment settled over her, that anger seeped away to be replaced by a bone-deep shame. She returned to the settee and sank onto it, then dropped her head into her hands. “I’m such a fool to have fallen for his lies. Why do I keep allowing myself to be taken in by men?”
“They fought the duel over me.”
Jane’s words were spoken so softly that Ellen almost missed them. She lifted her head and stared at her friend in disbelief. “I know you weren’t lying when you told me you didn’t have an affair with my husband.”
“I didn’t.” Jane took a deep breath before continuing. “Laughton approached me about having an affair and I declined. But what I never told you was that he tried to force himself on me while I was pregnant with Hope. I struggled and fell to the ground.”
There was silence for almost a full minute as Ellen stared at Jane in disbelief. She was still trying to think of what to say when Jane continued. “He only stopped when he saw the blood and I told him I was with child.”
Horror swept through her, and she closed her eyes briefly, finally connecting the reason behind her friend’s precarious pregnancy. And why Jane hadn’t wanted to see her for the past two years. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” she finally managed, knowing the words weren’t enough. “Is that why you didn’t want to see me?” She looked away, her shoulders sagging. “Of course it was. If I hadn’t kept Laughton at a distance, none of this would have happened. How many other women suffered his attentions just so I could remain safe?”
“Of course not.” Jane reached out and placed a hand over Ellen’s. “I never blamed you for your husband’s actions.”
Ellen knew that Jane was speaking the truth. If their situations had been reversed, she certainly wouldn’t have blamed Jane. But it was difficult not to feel responsible. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to tell anyone. Not even my husband knows. I was too afraid of what he would do, and that he’d end up getting himself killed. But my brother found me after it happened, and it was he who called for the doctor. I couldn’t keep the truth from him when I realized he’d seen Laughton leave the room. But you should know Laughton didn’t touch me intimately. He never got that chance.”
“But he did push you.”
“I don’t really know what happened. I was struggling to get away from him at the time. It’s possible he simply released me and, in my attempt to draw away from him, I overbalanced and fell backward.”
Ellen didn’t contradict her friend, but she knew her husband. When Jane had resisted him, he would have had no qualms about throwing her to the ground. If he hadn’t panicked at the sight of the blood his actions had caused… She sent up a silent prayer of thanks that everything had turned out well in the end. Neither Jane nor the baby she’d been carrying at the time had been hurt.
“So your brother fought the duel instead of your husband. And my brother helped him so everyone would think it was a hunting accident.”
“Yes,” Jane said. “I tried to stop Charles from issuing the challenge, to convince him that nothing had actually happened. That Laughton hadn’t violated me. But he was filled with rage and wouldn’t be persuaded otherwise.”
Ellen could only shake her head in disbelief. “Why didn’t he tell me? When I accused him of dueling with Laughton over the affections of another woman, he didn’t deny it. He could easily have told me what had happened.”
Jane’s grip on her hand became stronger. “I made him promise he would never reveal what had happened. I don’t think he even told your brother when he elicited his assistance as his second. Brantford must have guessed and helped in setting up the fiction about the accident. It’s the only reason my husband has never learned about what really happened that day. My brother is a good man. He kept that promise, even when it meant losing you.”
“Laughton almost ruined all of us. He certainly took away any delusions I’d had of living happily ever after with any man. I only thank the heavens that he didn’t cause you to lose your daughter.”
“No, he hasn’t ruined any of us and certainly not you. You still have that chance of a future together with someone who cares about you a great deal.”
Ellen withdrew her hand from her friend’s grasp and looked away. “I was so cold and distant to him before I left. I have no doubt he’s realized his life would be far easier if he found a wife who was more agreeable than me.”
“I’m sure that’s true,” Jane said with a slight smile, “but he doesn’t want anyone else. He’s been trying to forget you since you married Laughton. I didn’t realize it at first since I’m several years younger than the two of you, but he loves you and has done so for years.”
Ellen stared at Jane, unable to hold back the thread of hope that was blossoming within her. But beyond that, she didn’t want to. Her friend was correct. Laughton hadn’t ruined everything, but that would only be true if she didn’t allow his specter to continue hanging over her. She’d allowed his memory, and that of their unhappy marriage, to cloud everything she’d done.
But she’d seen with her own eyes that not all men were as controlling as her deceased husband. That happiness was possible between a man and a woman. Jane was in one such union. Even her brother, who many believed to have ice water running through his veins, was capable of love. And one thing was undeniable. Lucien had seen true evil. He’d never supported her betrothal to Laughton, had never thought the man good enough for her, but she’d dismissed his reservations, ascribing them to the beliefs of an overprotective sibling. It wasn’t until after she was married that she realized her brother had seen something in Laughton that she, and everyone else, had missed.
But Lucien had no such reservations about Castlefield. If there was one certainty in this world, it was that her brother was a good judge of character. If he approved of his friend’s intention to marry her, that was as good a recommendation as one could get.
“Where is he, Jane? I have to go to him.”
Jane smiled and wrapped her friend in a tight embrace before pulling back. “It’s about time.”
Chapter 26
It took Ellen a few minutes to sift through her options and decide what she needed to do.
She considered going to Charles and apologizing for… everything, really. For doubting him, for attempting to keep her emotions locked away even while he was open and honest with her. But most of all for not trusting him. They both knew her behavior was directly linked to her history with Laughton, but she wanted to make it up to him. A simple apology wouldn’t be enough. That meant she needed to perform a grand gesture.
Determination filled her as she issued instructions to the staff and went up to her bedroom to collect the one thing she needed for the trip—the box that contained the conch shell she and Charles had found together when they were children.
She was in the carriage with Jane and Lord Eddings and on their way back to Sussex before Ellen
could fully take in just how quickly her life had changed. She was acting impulsively, something which she tried never to do, but every fiber of her being told her she was doing the right thing. The time for doubt had long since passed.
The journey was a quiet one. She smiled fondly as Lord Eddings wrapped an arm around his wife and drew her to his side, where Jane rested her head on his shoulder. Ellen wanted so much the ability to be that free with Castlefield; it was an ache that threatened to steal her breath.
She wanted to continue the previous conversation, but she could say nothing lest she betray Jane’s secret to Lord Eddings. It had taken a great deal of courage on her friend’s part to share the truth with her, but Ellen couldn’t shake her belief that what had happened was partially her fault. There was no doubt in her mind Laughton had been striking out at Ellen in an act of revenge when he’d attempted to force himself on Jane.
When they reached Castlefield’s estate it was early evening. Ellen gave the other woman a tight hug, thanking her for coming to fetch her and promising to visit them in Brighton. Before stepping out of the carriage, she lowered her voice and whispered, “Tell him” into Jane’s ear. When she pulled back, Jane gave her a firm nod and Ellen felt her heart swell in relief. The time for secrets was over.
A footman had opened the carriage door, and Ellen thanked the couple one more time before bidding them adieu for now.
Eddings reached for his wife’s hand and said, “I’m glad you changed your mind. Castlefield is a good man, and I would see him as happy as we are.”
Ellen could only nod in reply, a lump forming in her throat as she allowed the footman to help her down from the carriage. She spared a moment to wave at Jane and Lord Eddings one final time as the carriage pulled away to whisk the occupants back to their new home in Brighton.
The footman bowed and offered to take the box Ellen was still clutching. She declined, telling him she needed to keep it with her for now.
She didn’t hesitate before asking the question that was uppermost in her mind. “Do you know where His Grace is at the moment?”
“He’s been in his study all day.”
Ellen thanked the young man and made her way into the house. She hadn’t even gotten past the drawing room before a voice called out to her. She wasn’t surprised to find her brother seated in a wing chair, fingers steepled on his chest, waiting for her.
Sighing, she entered the room. Now that she’d made up her mind to take a wild leap of faith, she didn’t want to delay another second.
Brantford got right to the point. “I’m not going to ask for details, but I wanted to say how glad I am you’ve returned.”
It struck her then that her brother had been responsible for this morning’s events. “You told Jane I’d returned to London.”
He inclined his head and rose to his feet. “Someone had to mend the mess you and Castlefield had managed to make of things.”
She hugged him by way of response. He allowed the moment to continue longer than he would have before he’d found love himself. That was yet another thing for which she needed to thank Rose. Her brother of old would have made a cutting comment when she released him, but now Brantford merely gave her an indulgent smile when she stepped back.
“He’s left word with the staff that he’s not to be disturbed, but I believe he’ll make an exception in your case.”
Ellen managed a firm nod before making her way to the study. Butterflies rioted in her belly, but she forced herself to ignore them, concentrating solely on the task at hand—letting Charles know that she trusted him and that she wanted a future together. When she’d left, he’d told her he would wait for her. Only a day had passed, but it was entirely possible he’d decided in the hours since they’d spoken that waiting for her was more trouble than it was worth. Heaven knew he’d expended an infinite amount of patience on her already.
Her knock was met by a surly response to go away. She took a deep breath and opened the door.
“Goddamn it—” His outburst cut off when he saw her.
Outside the bedroom, she couldn’t recall ever seeing him so disheveled. He hadn’t bothered to shave that morning, dark stubble colored his jawline, and his hair bore signs that he’d run his fingers through the dark locks several times.
Her heart twisted at the visible signs of how much she’d hurt this man. “I know you asked not to be disturbed, but I was hoping that didn’t apply to me.”
He stood and moved around the desk to stand before her. When his gaze fell on the box in her hand, his jaw clenched and he looked away. “If you’re here to return my gift, you needn’t have gone to the trouble.”
Ellen hated the note of defeat in his voice. Did he really think so little of her as to believe she’d returned to Sussex just to throw his gift back in his face? A pang of remorse struck her as she realized she’d behaved so shabbily toward him that she shouldn’t be surprised at his assumption.
She set the box down on his desk and lifted the lid. She could feel the weight of his gaze on her as she removed the conch and held it out to him. “I’m here to tell you that I’ve made a wish.”
When he didn’t reach for the shell, she took a deep breath and lowered herself to rest on one knee. The expression on his face would have been amusing if fear that she was too late wasn’t threatening to steal her breath.
His jaw loosened and his mouth opened before he got control of himself and closed it again. “What are you playing at, Ellen?”
“Actually, I’m taking a gamble that I haven’t ruined everything between us. I’ve decided that the one thing I want most in this world is a future with you. If you’ll have me, of course.” He seemed dumbstruck by her words, so she continued. “I am asking you, Your Grace, if you would consent to becoming my husband. I recognize that it might take some time for you to decide whether you want to take such a risk with me—”
He took the shell with one hand and with the other he pulled her to her feet. After placing her peace offering back in the box that rested on his desk, he pulled her into his arms. His embrace threatened to crush her, but she didn’t care. She was exactly where she wanted to be.
He pulled back and frowned down at her. “You scared the hell out of me. I thought losing you once was bad, but twice was almost more than I could bear.”
“Jane came to see me, and she told me everything.” Ellen waited a moment, not sure what she expected from the man before her, but it wasn’t silence. “You should be angry with me,” she said finally when he didn’t speak.
His brows drew together. “Why?”
“Because I didn’t believe you. Because I jumped to the worst conclusions about you when all you were doing was protecting Jane and keeping your promise to her.”
He shook his head before tilting it to the side. “How could I blame you after everything you’ve been through? Of course I’m not angry with you. I love you. I’m only grateful you’re willing to give me another chance to prove what I’ve come to know… that we are made for one another.”
Ellen raised a hand and placed it along his cheek. The rasp of whiskers tickled the skin of her palm. “I’ve always loved you, Charles. It just took me far longer than it should have to realize it. I loved you first as a friend and now as a man. I’m not sure anyone else in this world could have tempted me to risk my heart again.”
There were no more words after that as he lowered his head to claim her mouth and her soul.
Epilogue
August 1808
On the road to Brighton
It was only midday, but his wife was already exhausted. Unable to hold out against the lulling sway of the well-sprung carriage, Ellen nestled against his shoulder and closed her eyes.
Castlefield chuckled as he shifted slightly to allow Ellen to rest more comfortably against him.
She tilted her head to one side and gave him a mock glare. “Don’t you dare laugh at me. It’s your fault I’m in this state.”
He placed a possessive hand again
st the slight swell of her midsection. “I didn’t hear you complaining when we spent all that time trying to conceive.”
She sighed. “I’m not even four months along. How am I going to last another five months?”
It took only a minute for Ellen’s breathing to deepen, signaling she’d slipped into sleep. He kissed the top of her head before laying his head against the plush seat cushions, reveling in the feel of his wife lying in his arms. The light scent she wore wrapped around him.
He didn’t realize he’d also drifted into sleep until the carriage jerked to a stop and woke him.
“I wondered when you’d wake up,” Ellen said, straightening from where she still rested against him.
She arched a brow in challenge, but he didn’t rise to the bait. They both knew Ellen had just woken as well.
When she lifted a hand to pat at her hair, he shook his head. “You look beautiful, as always.”
Ellen laughed. “You’ve already won me. You needn’t continue to flatter me.”
“It’s not flattery if it’s true.”
Her eyes softened and a fond smile spread across her lips. “And to think I almost let you go.”
“We both know you’re too smart to have let that happen. But you did have me worried for a bit.”
The carriage door opened, and he stepped down first before turning to help his wife. Not that she needed his assistance since she still practiced the moves her brother had taught her for her own defense every day. And heaven knew she was still capable of tossing him to the ground. When he grumbled about it, she told him she was doing her part to keep him sharp. But the truth was he didn’t mind, especially since she normally followed him down and rewarded his patience with her.
Ellen took his arm and together they made their way to his sister’s spacious summer home in Brighton. Fond memories assailed him. Just one short year before, his entire life had changed and he and Ellen had spent an enjoyable month together here after announcing their betrothal. Now they had another announcement.
The Unsuitable Duke Page 14