Ally? Call girl, Ally? OH, GOD.
“Do I want to know?”
Holden shook his head, surprised that I heard him. God, if he cheated on Daisy, I’ll kill him myself.
“Kai?” Holden whispered.
“He’s a cop. He was my client but I never took money from him. I really like him and this is fucking killing me.”
“I don’t know why he would have lied to you about something like that.” Holden took out his phone to quickly check his notifications.
“Neither do I, but it’s over. I can’t be with a cop,” I confessed.
“Why not?” Holden’s eyes narrowed.
You’ve heard enough secrets for one night. I didn’t think I could handle telling him more. “Nothing. He lied to me about it, that’s all.”
Holden nodded. “I assume you stopped when you and Kai got together.”
My voice dipped low and I nodded. “Yes.”
“How did your other clients take it?” Daisy asked.
“Ace…he…” I took a deep breath. “He didn’t take it so well. He’s been sending me text messages and photos saying that he won’t take no for an answer.”
“Fuck!” Holden yelled. A worried expression crept on his face. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t get another booking at the hotel.”
“Thank you.”
“Tell me if he gets in contact with you again. You should tell Kai.”
“No!” I yelled. “Sorry. I mean no.”
“You care about him, Isla. I know you do.”
I looked down at my hands, and images of being with Kai invaded my thoughts. “Of course, I care about him. A lot more than I should.”
“So, what are you going to do?” Holden asked.
I brought my attention to him “Nothing. At least not now.” I couldn’t think about him, because I knew I would break down again. My eyes had cried enough for one night. “I’m exhausted. I need sleep.”
“Is there anything else you need to tell me?” Holden asked.
Yes, but not tonight. I can’t handle anymore.
“No.”
Holden pulled me in for a hug before he moved away. Daisy stood up and opened the linen closet, grabbed a spare blanket and handed it to me.
“Thanks, Daisy.”
“Goodnight,” they both whispered. I laid down on the couch and dreamt of things I shouldn’t have been dreaming about.
It was a week since the night at the penthouse suite. Kai had tried to call me multiple times every day, and I almost gave in a few times. God, I was so tempted.
A brown box sat neatly against my foot. I was in my apartment to finish packing up my things. I was going to move out in a few days. A loud thump vibrated against my ear, when someone knocked on the door. My breath hitched when I opened it up, Kai was standing right outside. Fuck!
15
Secrets, Lies, and Whispers
Damnit.
I had opened the door and Kai was standing in front of me. He’s always been sexy, but there was something different about him. He hadn’t slept and his face mirrored mine; depressed, lonely and heartbroken. Everything I was feeling. The one thing I avoided was showing Kai where I lived, being completely ashamed of the place.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry. I needed to see you,” Kai whispered. His raspy and low voice sent shivers through my body. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Fuck. I’ve missed him. Not being able to stop thinking about him that past week. Shit. I haven’t been able to stop since the night on the bridge. Inviting him in would be a bad idea, Isla. A very bad idea.
“I don’t think that’s a good ide-“
Kai interrupted. “Please. I want to explain.”
I took a deep sigh and turned my head to the mess that was occupying my entire house. I brought my attention back to him and saw the desperation in his face. After stepping aside, Kai walked in and his eyes scanned the room. “Excuse the mess.” Shutting the door with my foot, I stood behind him.
“When are you moving?”
“In a couple of days,” I replied. My lips swelled from my teeth grazing against the dry skin.
“Would you like my help?” Kai offered.
God, this is what I was afraid of. I knew I was going to have trouble saying no to Kai. “Um, Holden and Daisy are helping me.” A disappointed expression moved across his face. “Thank you, though,” I continued. “Do you want to sit down?”
“Sure.” Kai gave me a faint smile, and for a moment, I saw hope in his eyes.
“Can I offer you a drink?”
“Water would be great, thanks.”
My tiny kitchen was just a few steps away from the lounge room. I opened up the stainless-steel fridge and grabbed a cold bottle of water before handing it over to him. Our fingers lightly grazed against each other and my hand quickly pulled away. Wanting to avoid his touch, my grasp loosened and the bottle dropped to the tiled floor.
“Sorry,” we both mumbled. Bending down, I grabbed the bottle and handed it over to him.
“Thank you,”
We made our way to the lounge room and Kai took a seat on the couch and I sat as far away as possible. Kai noticed and inched closer towards me.
“Please don’t,” I begged.
“Isla…”
“You said you wanted to talk, so talk,” I sneered.
Kai nodded. His eyes were filled with pain that I’ve only recognized in myself. “I wanted to explain a few things.”
“I’ve had some time to think about things. A week in fact,” I interrupted.
“What have you come up with?”
“I realized that reason you were so distant from me at the beginning was because you’re a cop.”
“Yes,” Kai nodded.
“And it’s the reason why I was your first call girl,” I continued.
“Yes,” Kai whispered.
“What I couldn’t figure out is why you called for one at all?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I called for one because I was hoping to use her for my undercover assignment.”
The fuck? “What?”
“I needed someone unsuspecting at the penthouse suite party. I refused when I realized it was you.”
“You mean even if it wasn’t me, then you wouldn’t have slept with the girl that was sent up?”
Kai moved in closer. “No.” He took a deep breath and shuffled in his seat.
“Why did you reject me?” I knew that he refused to sleep with me, but not asking for my help on the job made me curious.
“I didn’t want you getting involved in the case,” he whispered. A deep breath escaped my lips.
“Because I’m unstable, right? Isn’t that what you said?” I growled.
“I didn’t mean-,”
“I know what you meant Kai Storm,” I huffed. He knew he upset me. Kai swallowed hard to stop himself from talking.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized.
“For what?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“For lying about who I was. It’s not how I wanted you to find out.” Kai ran his fingers through his hair before he covered his face. After lifting his head, he reached over to the coffee table and grabbed his bottle of water, opened it up and took a sip before he placed it down again.
“And how did you want me to find out? When were you going to tell me?”
“I wanted to. I swear. I fucking argued with myself every fucking day trying to figure out how and when I was going to tell you.”
“Well, I’m glad I found out now before things got too heavy between us,” I blurted. My words struck a chord with Kai. Part of him disappeared as soon as the words escaped from my mouth. The thing was, I knew my feelings for him were already strong and heavy between us. And I knew he felt it too.
“Don’t you think that’s a little too late?”
“What do you want from me, Kai?” I tucked my hair behind my ear, and the sweat from my palms coated each strand.
“I want you,” h
e admitted.
“You can’t have me.” I blurted.
Kai’s eyes threatened with tears, but he was holding them back. “Tell me you don’t want me, Isla. Tell me you feel nothing for me and I’ll walk out of here and out of your life for good.”
God, I know I feel something. Hell, I be in this much pain if I feel nothing towards him.
“Are you serious, Kai?” I yelled.
“Please, baby. Tell me what I want to hear,” he begged.
I can’t do this. I know I’m going to give in. Please don’t give in Isla. God. I want him and I need him, but it’s too hard. He lied to me. I couldn’t trust him or any other cop.
“I’m not your baby, Kai.”
“Fuck!” he yelled, which caused me to flinch. Kai leaned over and rested his head in his hands, and light sobs came from his lips.
God, this is killing us both.
“Kai, I think you should-,”
He wiped the tears from his face and cleared his throat. “I’ll leave.” We both stood up from the couch and his eyes locked with mine. Our pain mirrored against each other.
“Please don’t tell anyone what you know. I mean, I’m sure you’ve already told Holden and Daisy, but anyone else could put myself and my colleagues in danger.”
I nodded. “Okay.” God, I hate the thought of him in danger.
Kai turned around and made his way to the front door, stopping just before he opened it. He whispered underneath his breath. “Not without kissing you one last time.”
He quickly turned around and took one step to reach me. Kai cupped my face in his hands and crashed his lips with mine. I had no time to react or time to push him away. No chance for me to say no. Instead, my body betrayed me the moment our lips touched, and I wrapped my arms around his neck while he used his strength to pull me against his body.
If not for his tight grasp, my knees would have buckled, but he held onto me. It was the most passion filled kiss I had ever had in my life. Our lips were moving in sync, and his tongue swiped against my mouth. It was raw, needy, hot, and desperate. But most of all, it was painful. Extremely painful to be kissing him, and I couldn’t tell whose tears I was tasting. Kai pulled away from me abruptly.
“Bye, baby,” he whispered before he walked out the door and out of my life. The lump in my throat had gotten bigger. My back thumped against the wall and I slid down to the carpet with my head in my hands. I broke down trying to catch my breath he took with him.
“Isla,” Holden whispered.
I was curled up on my couch with my face against the back cushion. Holden was trying to talk to me, but I had no energy to respond, that my voice only came out as a mere whisper.
“Go away,” I demanded.
“I can’t. I’m worried about you.”
I took a deep breath and turned my body to see him. Still lying on the couch, Holden kneeled in front of me, and kissed me on the forehead.
“I love you, Isla, but you look like crap.”
“I can’t do this right now, Holden. Please,” I begged.
“Kai called me up,” he continued. “He wanted me to check up on you and said you needed a friend today,”
God, why would he do that?
“He came by before and we talked. It didn’t go to well.”
“God, why are you fighting this? I see how much you care about him.” Holden sat down against the carpet and took my hands in his. I sat up and brought my knees to my chest.
“I don’t trust cops, Holden,” I confessed.
“Why?” His eyes narrowed at me before he continued. “Does it have anything to do with what happened to you before?” I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from breaking down, the conversation I knew I was about to have with Holden was one I haven’t had before out of shame. “What is it? Why do you look so scared?”
My eyes gave in and tears started to fall down my cheek. Holden’s expression was genuine. He picked himself up from the floor and sat down on the couch next to me. Holden placed his hand on my back, moving it in circular motions. Comforted by him, I rested my head on his shoulders and he put his arms around my neck. The tears fell quicker, and I knew it was because I was second guessing turning Kai away from me. God, that kiss was everything.
“I don’t know if I can trust him. He lied to me.”
“Isla,” Holden whispered. I lifted my head to meet his gaze.
“What is it you’re not telling me?”
I bit my lip and trembled. My voice was shaky as I started to relive the moments of my past, I was desperately trying so hard to forget.
“You know what happened to me years ago. What I told you?”
“About you being attacked?” Holden’s voice dipped low.
I nodded; my eyes moved away from him “I told you I didn’t know who raped me.”
“Yeah…”
“I lied. I know who it was,” I confessed.
“God, Isla. Why didn’t you say anything?” Holden held onto me tighter.
“I’m sorry. It’s just hard…I was raped, Holden, and it wasn’t a onetime thing.”
Holden narrowed his eyes at me. “What do you mean?
I wiped the tears from my face and sniffled. “It happened more than once.”
“What? Are you serious? How’s that pos-,” Holden paused. I lifted my head up to look at him before I completely broke down, placing my face in my hands as I sobbed. “Oh, God, Isla. No, no, no, no, no. Please don’t tell me…”
Holden
Isla was sobbing in her hands. She’d just told me that her being raped was not a onetime thing. I instantly knew what it meant. She took a deep breath to calm herself before she continued. Her cries turned light, and she spoke with her voice raspy and low.
“I don’t remember when it started. I just remember how it felt every time he came into my room. I hated bedtime. I would lie in bed and wait. The quicker he came in, the quicker he would leave. The nights when he didn’t show up, or when he showed up late, those were the worst. The waiting was terrifying. It made me sick to my stomach.”
I was livid. Fucking furious. My blood was boiling. Isla had been holding onto this secret for so many years. My body tensed while she continued to talk. Fuck. I want to kill him. Her father. Her poor excuse for a father needs to have his dick chopped off along with his balls. A sigh escaped from my mouth and I took a few deep breaths to calm myself, but it wasn’t working. It was just getting worse as the moments passed and she confessed a lot more to me.
“Mom knew. She didn’t care and she didn’t try to stop it.”
“This is why you hate your parents so much?”
She nodded. Her original reason was because she said she didn’t get along with them. Complete bullshit. They were abusing her and getting away with it.
“Isla, did you tell anyone? Did anyone try to help you?”
She shook her head. Her lips trembled again and I knew she had more to say. She’s kept a lot from me. Her being a call girl, her dad abusing her. I thought I knew everything about my best friend, Boy was I wrong.
“What is it, Isla?
“I was planning on telling someone about it,” she whispered.
“Who?” I narrowed my eyes at her.
“I told my dad. I made the mistake of telling him that I was going to report him to the cops.”
“Did you?”
“He threatened me. He said he would hurt me and kill me. That no one would believe me because he had friends who would make sure he wasn’t charged.”
Friends? What kind of friends?
Isla, continued. “Friends who were cops.”
“Is that why you hate them?”
She slowly shook her head. “I knew he wasn’t lying about having police friends, because he introduced me to one of them when I was younger,” she whispered.
Her eyes locked with mine, pleading for me to understand what she was trying to say, because she couldn’t bring herself to say it. But I knew. Her dad’s cop friend had raped her
too. Isla’s eyes started to spill again with tears, she was trying to breathe but was struggling. My arms wrapped around her tight and I was trying my hardest to give her the comfort she needed. The comfort that no one had given her before. The relief she deserved. I knew holding her was for my benefit too, as it stopped me from getting up and walking out of her place.
“How many times with the cop?”
“A few,” she mumbled.
After crying on my shoulders for what seemed like hours, she finally fell asleep. I gently picked her up, and took her to the bedroom where I softly laid her down on the bed. After covering her with the blanket, I made my way to the lounge room and took out my phone. Please forgive me for what I’m about to do.
Isla had been asleep for an hour. I’d just gotten off the phone with Kai and asked him to come back when I called Daisy to let her know what was going on. It was easy to understand why Isla had issues with cops. I knew Kai was a great guy, but as kids we were told to put our trust in them. That didn’t work out so well for Isla. The system failed her and so did her parents. No wonder she felt betrayed when she found out about Kai. Her views on them were tainted since she was a kid.
My blood continued to boil while I explained to Daisy what happened with Isla. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
“I’ve gotta go, baby. I’ll talk to you soon.” I hung up the phone and stood up and headed to the front door. Kai was face to face with me, and he noticed the anger in my expression.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need you to stay here and watch Isla.”
“Why? Is she okay?” Kai was concerned.
God, he’s got it bad for her.
“Oh, shit. She didn’t try to hurt herself again, did she?”
My face turned pale. Kai clearly knew something I didn’t. “What the hell are you talking about?”
There was a look on his face. He knew he let something slip, something he shouldn’t have said if it weren’t by accident.
“Nothing…I,” Kai stumbled. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I stepped aside and allowed Kai to work in. The door shut with such force; I could feel the vibrations beneath my feet. Already furious, I needed to find out what Kai meant.
His Desire Page 16