“Please, Kody. God, I can’t take it.” I’m begging him to do something.
And he does. Spectacularly.
Pushing my thigh down with one hand, Kody proceeds to lap at me like I’m his last meal. He places his mouth over my clit and sucks as he makes a come-hither motion with his fingers, sending me soaring. I arch my back and come, open eyes sightless. The only thing I need to see, to feel, is his heart. And I don’t need vision for that.
As I recover, Kody plucks the condom from my hand and sheaths himself. I wrap my legs tightly around his hips, and he aligns his cock and pushes past the still-pulsating muscles. Deep. So deep and hard. I shiver when I feel his pelvis against the most intimate part of me.
“Don’t hold back,” I beseech him, scoring my nails up his back, love binding me to him in all ways.
Kody lowers his head, his tongue tracing my lips. I can taste myself on him, that lingering scent from an act so intimate driving my hips upward. His eyes roll backward before he slams his mouth down onto mine and grinds his hips downward. Shifting his weight, his hand seeks mine as we unite our bodies, our hearts, our souls.
Finally, it’s too much. I tear my mouth away, gasping for breath. He ruthlessly finds my lips again. “Now.” Then he shifts and his pubic bone rubs my clit again. Again. A third time, and I feel like I’ve lost my senses. I cry out, but the sound escapes into his mouth.
A self-satisfied grunt comes from him as I clench again on him. My hips jerk as his semen spurts inside the condom. Even with Kody, it’s never been like this. Where the emotional connection between us swells inside me as much as the physical shattering. I give myself over to the sensation and just hold on.
Kody collapses off to the side, but he wraps me up in his arms tight. Grabbing the throw off the couch, he gently pulls out. “Now I have everything I ever wanted.”
I almost do. If the kids were here, it would be perfect. Nuzzling against his chest, I drift off.
I’m woken by the sounds of my stomach protesting to my lack of food. I flush when Kody bursts out laughing. “I take it that’s my cue to feed you?”
“I wasn’t exactly hungry before.”
“How does twice-warmed pizza sound?” Kody stands and wraps me in the blanket we were dozing under. Quickly dealing with the condom, he slips into his jeans, before excusing himself a moment. When he returns, he drops an arm around my shoulder before bringing me over to the dining room table. The candles are almost burned down, but the effect is still perfect.
“Delicious.” Then I frown. “How did you get in here?”
“Great question, Flower. Once again, I helped myself to your spare key. I borrowed it the morning I left to go get Maris, Kara, and Jennings from the airport. You know, you really shouldn’t just leave it there for anyone to borrow.”
“No, but you’re not just anyone.”
“Who am I, Meadow?”
I fumble with the answer under his penetrating stare before I state what I know to be true in my heart. “You’re mine.”
“Just like you’re mine. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. I was attacked by this sexy as hell woman when she got home.” He stills. “Can that be a part of our nightly routine? Can it?” His voice sounds like a little kid who’s pleading for a new toy.
I whack him in the chest, smiling when I didn’t think I could tonight. And that’s when I realize what Kody did for me tonight. He wasn’t just here when I got back to my house.
He was here to welcome me home.
The real question is, what will I do when he’s gone? How will I survive when he isn’t?
Meadow
A few weeks later, I wake up in Kody’s arms with a sick feeling in my stomach. For the first time since we began sleeping together, I wish he hadn’t stayed over. There’s a part of me that wishes he’d just leave me alone all day to sink into a deep depression, but that’s not how we work. Especially since I inadvertently hurt him so badly the other day after hearing from Mitch.
In the pale morning light streaming through the windows, I study his face. It’s something I used to do from afar when we were young. I never was afforded the chance to scrutinize every flicker, line, or breath as something to be treasured—which it is. But regret still tugs at my heart over the time that’s been wasted in both our lives on the path from then until now. “So much heartache. So many changes,” I breathe.
In the straight line of his nose is the determination of the boy; his jaw holds the fortitude of the man; and his lips are the gateway to the heart of them both. “What did I do to deserve you?” I trace a finger along his brow, not to wake him but just to reassure myself he’s not a dream. After all, today of all days I need a little reassurance of how I’m worthy of a man like this when my own children won’t even speak with me.
Settling back, I tuck my hands beneath my head and wonder what Elise and MJ are doing right now. Are they up with Rainey and Brad’s kids cooking breakfast? It’s so quiet here. Is the house in Juneau filled with secret giggles and laughter? I blink rapidly, remembering other Sundays where I’d overhear similar preparations before I’d wake up “surprised” with a concoction full of love laid in my lap to eat.
Not today. Maybe not ever again. But I love them enough to give them the world they want.
The jaggedness of emotions that lives in me is cutting me up inside. Maybe over time, much like the way water slowly wears down a rock edge, it will ease up. But not right away. The hurt is too new and fresh. It’s been four weeks since I flew to Juneau and still nothing from the kids. Rainey’s been in constant contact via email about how the kids have settled down now that I’ve put Mitch in his place and threatened him with a full custody suit. But beyond that, nothing. And as each day ends, the hope of a reconciliation dwindles as my children find their peace. A lone tear trickles down my face.
And of course, today being what it is, it makes it so much worse.
“Keep looking like that and I’m going to begin to wonder if I did something wrong.” Lazy blue-green eyes flutter open. Behind him, the sun is barely up over the horizon.
“You didn’t do anything.”
“Then what is it?” His finger traces a line from the corner of my eye over my cheek as I speak.
“It’s just… I’m used to being woken up by little voices singing. Balloons. Not that I expect that from you,” I hasten to add. “It’s just ever since Elise could talk, it’s the best part of the day. And it just hit me today I’m not going to have that.”
A confused frown appears between his eyes before his “Shit. Come here” breaks me. Rolling into him, I sob.
Because it’s not just any Sunday; it’s my birthday.
And I immediately regret my earlier thoughts about it being easier if he wasn’t there because, Kody holds me against his chest tightly, not saying anything while I cry.
It isn’t until much later when he’s stroking my back as my head’s resting on his heart that he says, “Mom called me once crying on her birthday. She said all parents have a tough time with letting their kids go, no matter what age. I felt guilty as crap.”
I give a hiccupping sob. “How old were you?”
“It was three years ago.”
I can’t suppress the giggle that escapes. “I really want to meet her one day.”
He smiles against my hair but doesn’t say anything. “If I had to make a guess, I bet she does this to this day with Dad—crying about all her babies being out of the house. Well, except Sandra. Hell, for all I know, she might be crying because Sandra’s attempting to cook her breakfast as part of her gift.”
Even though I haven’t met Kody’s baby sister, I slug him half-heartedly. “Not nice,” I chide him.
“You’re right. She probably convinces my father my mother deserved a day out now that there isn’t nine of us to feed.”
“You know you love her.”
“I love all of them, even though they’re responsible for all my gray hair.”
There’
s a significant pause, and then I manage to say, “I will always love my children, Kody. I just hope they know that.”
He rolls me over so he becomes the only thing in my vision. “I hope they do too.”
I nod. I love that he doesn’t lie to me. Pushing at his chest, I manage a half smile. “I guess it’s time to get up.”
“In a bit.” Then he lowers his head and brushes his lips against mine.
It’s a long time before we both decide to crawl from the warmth of our bed.
At the main house later that afternoon, my temper is frayed. “These outlet plates are supposed to be ivory. Right?”
Kody frowns. “That’s what the invoice says. Meadow, I can just run into town and see if they have new ones—”
“And it will take an hour by the time you get there and back. Besides, these were a special order; I doubt they’re going to be in stock.”
“Probably not. So, that sets us back how far?”
“A few days at least,” I grumble. “Now do you understand why I wanted to go through everything before we started tomorrow?”
“I get it, but don’t you want to take a break for lunch?”
I press a hand to my stomach. “I’m just not that hungry, Kody. If you feel like anything, then we can stop.”
“Flower…” But whatever he says is lost when my phone rings from where it’s sitting on top of the new quartz countertops. Because it’s a ring I haven’t heard on my phone in months. Not since I was in Juneau.
I dive for it, just to make sure I’m not hallucinating.
MJ would like to FaceTime
Before he hangs up, I quickly swipe my finger to the right to accept. After a moment, there’s my baby boy booming, “Happy Birthday, Mom! Sorry, I couldn’t call before now, but you know how whacko Uncle Brad gets on the weekends. We were up at the crack of dawn doing chores. Then we took a hike. I just got out of the shower, and this is the first second I had a chance to get to call. By the way, did my package make it there yet? And whoa! Is that our house?” He’s speaking so fast and so animatedly, I’m not certain he’s taken a breath.
I know I haven’t.
“Hi, sweetheart. I miss you” is all I can get out before my eyes start leaking.
“I miss you too, Mom. I put all of that in my letter to you though. Aunt Alice said it would be good for us to talk, so I’m going to try to call more often, okay?”
“I would love that. So, so much.”
“So, seriously? Is that our house? And hey? Why’s it under construction?”
“No, sweetheart. This is the main house on the property. This is the house that was really damaged. Uncle Brad’s friend Kody—”
“I remember Aunt Rainey and Uncle Brad talking about Kody. His job is super cool. Builds a lot of homes and stuff.”
My eyes flick over to the man in question, whose face is as shocked as mine is. “Well, the house was so damaged, I had to hire his team to help repair it.”
MJ gets really quiet. “That sounds like a lot of work, Mom.”
“It has been.” But I’m quick to add, “It doesn’t mean I haven’t missed you every moment though. I want you to know—”
MJ talks right over me, just like he used to. “That’s really nice of you to do, Mom. I bet the people who own that house appreciate that.”
I make a choking noise. “I hope they like it when it’s done.”
“How soon is that? Elise said we get to move when you’re finished. I caught her going through her stuff the other day.”
Elise said… Even though MJ’s telling me this, I can hardly breathe at the gift he’s just given me. But I’m cautious when I reply, “I don’t want to rush you both. You take as long as you need.”
He looks down at the floor and then directly into the phone. “What I want is to give you a hug, Mom. Next time you’re here, can I have one, please? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His lip starts to tremble.
My son’s face disappears behind the veil of tears. “MJ, there’s nothing to apologize for. I swear.”
“I love you, Mom. I just wanted you to know that.” He hears his name being called. “I have to go.”
I wipe my eyes on my sleeve. “I’ll keep an eye out for a package. And I love you too, MJ. Call me whenever you want to.”
There’s a mixture of adult and baby teeth in the wide, toothy smile he gives me. “And be sure to save your teeth for the Tooth Fairy,” I remind him.
“Yes, ma’am. Happy Birthday!” He starts to sing off-key. It’s perfection to my ears. Then when he’s done, my screen says Call Ended.
I’m still frozen holding my phone until Kody walks up to me, plucks it from my hand, and pulls me into his arms. “Did that really happen?” My voice is dazed.
“It sure did, Mom. How do you feel?”
“Like I could fly,” I tell him truthfully. And between one second and the next, I’m airborne as Kody spins me around in circles. I grip his neck so tightly as a mixture of tears and laughter pour out. My heart is still soaring when he stops spinning and just holds me. I clutch his shoulders.
He opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, my phone bleeps with an incoming text. Kody lowers me to my feet. But his eyes bug out when he glimpses what’s on the screen.
“What? Is it Maris telling us she’s pregnant?” I tease, because it’s laugh or cry.
He doesn’t say a word. Just hands my phone to me. Quickly unlocking it, I immediately see what Kody did. It’s a selfie of Elise. There’s some kind of filter on the photo making her appear like she’s wearing a tiara—just like in her baby photos. Her right hand is giving me a slight wave. But beneath it is a simple “Happy Birthday, Mom. I missed you today.”
My knees begin to shake. It’s not the enthusiastic conversation I had with MJ, but it’s a message from my baby girl that’s not filled with vitriol. “I don’t know what to say back.”
Kody smooths the hair away from my face. “Just tell her she was missed. It’s nothing less than the truth.”
I type in the words and hit Send.
But I have to sit down when just a few seconds later, Elise sends me hugs and kisses. I send her a quick XOXO. Immediately I tell Kody, “In all the years to come, I don’t need anything for my birthday. All I want is this.”
He squats down next to me. “What’s that?”
“To hear from the kids. No matter where they are. Even if it’s just to know they’re thinking of me.”
“I can accept that. Do you know why?”
I tip my head to the side. “Why?”
“Because you just said, ‘In all the years to come.’ Trust me, Flower. I’ll make certain the kids touch base.” Pulling my head up, he presses his lips to mine. “That’s a promise.”
“Kody.” I rest my hands on his leg as his lips continue to brush against mine.
Finally, he stands and pulls me to my feet. “Come on. Let’s check on those outlet covers. Then we can decide what to do next. I have this slave driver of a boss who wants to keep us on schedule.”
Slipping an arm around his waist, I tell him seriously, “She does. But nothing is more important than celebrating the little moments in life. So the outlet covers don’t match? Who cares? Do you know what I really want to do?”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a beautiful day. Let’s go find a spot to talk, Mr. Laurence. I just want to be with you.”
Without another word, Kody undoes his tool belt and places it carefully on the ground. Then he takes my hand and leads me out the front door, making sure the house is locked behind us. Together we wander around the back of the house toward the lake so we can find a spot where the sun will warm us for a while.
We still have a lot of our hearts’ secrets to share. And plenty of years to make up for.
Kody
I told Meadow I’d be taking a personal day to wrap up some business. With the crew working on easy items like trim and paint, she laughed and told me to take the week off. “I’ve got thi
s covered, Kody.”
“Smart-ass. You know this is what you’re paying us for.”
“Only to a certain point.” Her voice turned serious. “There are certain aspects about my job I need to handle on my own.”
I wonder how much she’s going to miss it when we’re all in Portland. Maybe what I’m doing today will help make up for that.
“The house was built in 1996, Mr. Laurence, but it’s really the land that holds the most value. Most of the people I’ve shown the property to are concerned with the cost of tearing down the house,” the Realtor informs me, but I’m barely listening to her.
The two-story stone home has been neglected for years. Carefully, I step over missing floorboards on top of potentially rotting floor joists. “It will require a ton of work to get it back into shape,” I comment offhandedly.
“Why would you want to do that?” she asks blankly.
Why would I?
Mentally tearing out walls, I make my way to the rickety sunroom so I can view the sloping lawn. Across the water, I see the glory of Nature’s Song across the way. Over the last three months, Meadow and I have put in a ton of sweat equity to demonstrate that if you love something enough you fight for it.
And then the trees catch my eye. Jed’s tree house.
“Because I’m a builder, Ms. Rupi. I believe that with a little love, you can create something built to last.” Turning around—carefully, so I don’t sink through to the hard earth below—I demand, “Now, let’s talk about price.”
“As is?” she confirms.
“As is, and to sweeten the deal, my company will pay cash. I don’t want to wait a second longer than I have to. The building season is short enough here in Montana.”
“I think you should be able to take full ownership in a matter of weeks. Why don’t we head back to my office to iron out the details?”
Return by Land (Glacier Adventure Series Book 2) Page 24