by Cece Peters
Matty agreed, suggesting that perhaps we could take a drive around town after dinner as the slower speeds would be more tolerable to having the top of the car down. I happily concurred, thrilled that we already had plans for later in the evening when the night hadn’t even begun.
The drive to Nonna’s only took about twenty minutes. Since it was summer, it was still daylight when we pulled up to the historic little brick building that housed the restaurant. Once parked, I inadvertently reached for the door latch, but Matty immediately uttered “No, no, that’s my job,” and I blushed, putting my hand back in my lap. I watched Matty walk around the front of the car, admiring his body, which, while now taller and stronger than his sixteen-year-old self, was still so familiar to me. He opened my door and reached out his hand, which I was especially glad for as exiting the convertible was much more daunting than getting in had been. He continued to hold my hand, and we quickly laced our fingers together and entered the restaurant. His hand felt as natural in mine as it had been all those years ago.
Matty had reserved a table in a quiet corner of Nonna’s, which was a feat considering that the place was rather small and the tables close together. Fortunately, it being a Monday night, it wasn’t very busy. “This place is charming,” Matty observed as he pushed my chair in and took his own seat. “I can see why it came highly recommended.”
“It’s definitely the best of the best here in Lakeview,” I agreed. “But we actually have a lot of great little shops and restaurants in town; the only time I eat at a chain is when I’m over in Lincoln or traveling.”
“Well, I hope to see some of these local establishments in the near future,” Matty said with a twinkle in his eyes. And the butterflies were back! I really needed to get ahold of myself. We hadn’t even ordered yet and my mind was already on things other than food.
Our waiter came to our table, presenting us with our menus and taking our drink orders. As much as I would have liked a glass of wine to calm my nerves, I decided I was going to stick with water. “Are you sure?” Matty asked. “I’d gladly order us a bottle of whatever you’d like.”
“I’m sure,” I answered, giving him a reassuring smile. “But you go ahead.”
“Water for me, too,” Matty told our server, who was no doubt now concerned that his tip was going to be lower than anticipated. “I don’t want to risk being unable to drive us home. I would hate to have to let you get behind the wheel of the convertible so far from your house. God knows where we’d end up!”
“Hey!” I said with a pout. “I drove us both Saturday AND yesterday without any issues, remember? Sure, it was just around town, on the mostly deserted streets. But, still! I am just a bit more cautious on the highways. Safety is important.”
“So is actually getting to your destination,” Matty teased. “And I can’t remember a time when you were driving outside of Springville that we actually made it to where we were supposed to be going or got us there in time.”
“Well, I was only driving for a few months before you moved,” and as those words left my mouth, I immediately felt a twinge of regret in my heart. I could see Matty’s face drop, too. “I got better as I got older; I can drive on the highway pretty well now,” I finished quietly
We both sat in silence for a few moments before Matty said, “Leah, I will never, ever forgive myself for not being stronger and fighting back against my parents to get in touch with you. God, I could have tried calling on a pay phone or mailed you a letter from a post box. Especially after our last night together. What you must have thought of me, getting you into bed only to never see you again? I’ve been disgusted with myself over it for years.”
I sat silently, not sure how to reply. There was so much I wasted to say, but I was scared to reveal too much.
“That night meant so much to me, Leah,” he continued. “I had been fantasizing about being with you for so long. Did you know that?”
I was honestly shocked, as it had never occurred to me that Matty had ever thought about being with me before that night. “I didn’t know that, no,” I answered before taking a deep breath and adding, “But I had been thinking about it myself for a long time, too. I wanted to be with you, Matty. I wanted you, very much.”
“I hadn’t planned it, Leah; I hope you know that. I mean, yes, I wanted to be with you, and I was so happy when it happened. But I had always hoped it would be the start of something more for us, not the way we said goodbye. I hate myself for leaving you with that as your last memory of me, thinking that I’d just abandoned you.”
“Matthew,” I said quietly, “you can’t do that to yourself. We were teenagers. I could have figured out a way to get in touch with you, too. We were just too young to sort those kinds of things out. Plus, we didn’t have social media or cell phones the way people do now.” I paused a moment before continuing, deciding to tell him everything. “The truth is that, yes, I spent a lot of years mourning over you leaving. I would alternate between being mad and sad. I spent more time than I care to admit crying over you,” I confessed, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. I sniffed and dabbed my eyes with my napkin before adding, “Finding out how hard things were for you, though, has really put things into perspective for me. As awful as it sounds for me to say it, it helps knowing that you, too, were hurting. I think we both need to forgive ourselves for what happened as far as losing touch. I want to be able to remember all of the good times we had and forget the mistakes.”
“And make new memories, right?” Matty asked, reaching his hand out to take mine. “We can’t change the sixteen years we were apart, but we can certainly start making up for them.” We held hands and smiled at each other, and I felt the heartache that I had carried for so long lift. “Maybe we had to be separated for that time to be better together now.”
“Are you two ready to order, or do you need a minute?” our waiter asked as he strode up to our table, interrupting our intimate moment. Matty and I smiled at each other before letting go of one another’s hands to quickly skim the menu. I ordered the cheese ravioli, which seemed the easiest offering to eat; I didn’t want to risk spilling anything on myself. Matty ordered the fettuccini alfredo, and I was already laughing inside at the thought of him trying not to make a mess of the saucy pasta dish.
“You’re thinking I’m going to get sauce all over myself, aren’t you?” Matty asked in an overly dramatic accusing voice, reading my mind. “I can eat in public without staining my clothes, you know,” he added with a grin.
“Well, seeing will be believing, I guess!” I said, trying to keep a straight face.
I had been fearful that, after spending so much time together over the past couple of days, that we would have run out of things to talk about during dinner; but we immediately began chatting. We dipped the complimentary bread that was at our table into the olive oil, nibbling at it as we continued filling in the blanks of our years apart.
Our food arrived and no sooner had Matty coiled the first noodles around his fork did a piece of chicken fly into his lap. “Some things never change!” I chided him as we both laughed.
While other diners were constantly pausing between mouthfuls of food to talk, Matty and I ate in relative silence, only pausing a couple of times to remark on the taste of the food, which was delicious. I had always found it funny that people felt they had to talk and eat at the same time when they could just get the eating out of the way and talk afterwards. Of course, I did the same thing when I ate with other people, but only because they themselves were talking. I was glad Matty, though, was still the same and that neither of us felt the need to constantly stop our conversation in order to chew. In fact, we finished our meals in under ten minutes; and only because Matty suggested we order dessert was there any reason for us to stay at the restaurant.
While we had eaten our entrees in silence, we lingered over dessert. Matty ordered raspberry cheesecake and I got the chocolate mousse; but we took tiny bites and shared with each other so that we could stay in the in
timate setting of the restaurant. Eating from each other’s plates seemed as natural as breathing, even though we hadn’t done it since we were teenagers.
While Nonna’s usually piped in music on the weekdays, tonight the in-house piano player happened to be there and started playing romantic standards. There was small dance floor set aside in the center of the dining room. Matty looked at me, and while part of me was terrified to dance with him, the other part hoped he would ask.
“Will you dance with me, Leah?” Matty asked quietly.
“Yes,” I answered, not able to contain the blush that once again rose up my face. Calm down, I told myself. You have danced with Matty dozens of times; this is no different. It’s no big deal. However, it was a big deal as I hadn’t danced with anyone since our sophomore year prom. I hoped I would remember how to move correctly.
Matty stood up and extended his hand to me, which I took, letting him pull me out of my chair and lead me to the dance floor. He gently put one arm around my waist while holding my hand; and I put my free hand on his shoulder. “Grown up dancing!” I blurted out. “This is new!”
Matty laughed and said, “I know! I wasn’t sure if the old two-bodies-smashed-together-swaying dancing was allowed in a joint like this,” referencing the teenage style of dance of our freshman and sophomore years. “Or the zombie-like dance position we rocked in junior high.”
“Well,” I replied, “at least we don’t have to fast dance here. I shudder to think of us recreating our line-dancing moves. This is much better for everyone involved.”
Matty pulled me closer and rested his chin next to my forehead. Since he was so much taller than me, the only thing for me to do was to turn my head and lay it across his shoulder. Matty pulled our joined hands together and brought them to his chest. Our bodies were now fully pressed against each other; and it was a much more intimate dance position than we’d ever been in before. As kids, we had been more concerned about how we looked to anyone watching; tonight, we were only focused on one another, safe from the prying eyes of friends and classmates.
“My Leah,” Matty whispered, swaying with me ever so slightly. He brought his lips down and brushed them across my forehead. Heat shot throughout my entire body. This was clearly not two friends catching up. This was more. How much more, I still didn’t know. But there was no doubt that there was something romantic happening between us.
“Your hair smells so good; you’re still using the same shampoo, aren’t you?”
“I can’t believe you remember that,” I said softly.
“I remember everything,” he replied quietly, which brought tears to my eyes. But for once, they were happy tears.
We danced through two more songs, and when we finally stopped to head back to our table, there was a smattering of applause from the other diners. I had forgotten we had an audience; and while I was embarrassed by the attention, I also could not help the smile that lit up my face in pure joy.
“How about we get out of here and head back into town for a drive,” Matty suggested. “It’s still not completely dark yet, and we can put the top down.”
“Sounds perfect,” I said, excusing myself to use the restroom to freshen up before leaving. Matty had already grabbed the check and I knew it was no use offering to pay. He had always paid even when we were kids, despite the fact I always offered. “The boy always pays, Leah,” he would always insist. “Any guy who doesn’t isn’t worth your time.”
In the small ladies’ bathroom, I rinsed out my mouth a few times with water to get rid of any food debris before popping a mint into my mouth to freshen up my breath. I then touched up my make-up and re-adjusted the clip in my hair. I looked at my reflection and could see shadows of the girl who I once was, but I was feeling more confident in the woman I had become. I had so many memories of myself with Matty as a teenager that I would always cherish, but I was letting myself enjoy the new experiences we were having together as adults.
Matty came out of the men’s room the same time as I excited the ladies’ bathroom, and we immediately smiled at each other before joining hands and heading back out to the car. Matthew once again opened the door of the convertible for me, and we headed back to Lakeview. As soon as we were off the highway and onto a twenty-five mile an hour road, Matty signaled for me to press the button to open the roof of the convertible. We grinned at each other as the top folded back and Matthew began driving around the town as the street lights glowed against the twilight.
“Hey, LEE-AH,” Matty, said, glancing at me while keeping his eyes on the road. “Is there a good lookout spot around her?” He gave me a quick wink and had a sly smile on his face. A lookout spot? Was he asking me for a make-out spot? Did he really want to park the car and make-out?!
“Um, sure…. not too far from the country club is an overlook where cars sometimes go to, um, look at the lake?” My statement came out sounding like a high-pitched question. “You can, um, well, just turn left at the next stop; it’s only a few blocks down from there.” My heart started racing as I wondered what Matty had in mind for when he arrived at the lake. Of course, I wanted to kiss him, there was no denying that. But in a car? Out in the open? In our dressy clothing? I was a local college professor, after all. What if a student saw me? I worked myself up so much that my heart started racing and I began to sweat.
Get a grip, Leah! I again silently scolded myself. You danced three slow dances together at the restaurant with strangers watching you. If Matty wants to kiss, you can kiss him back. He kissed you last night, remember? It’s no big deal! It’s not like you haven’t kissed before. Or done more than that before, actually…even if it has been years. Get ahold of yourself and let fate lead you where it may. I turned my head to the side and took a few deep breaths to calm myself down and tried to discreetly wipe my sweaty palms on my dress.
Soon Matty was pulling the car onto the grassy knoll that overlooked the lake, which was, no surprise, called Lakeview Lake. The town wasn’t exactly original when it came to naming its sites and attractions. He turned off the ignition, and I worried that he would be able to hear my heart beating in the silence; or worse, my stomach processing the huge Italian meal I’d just eaten. But then he turned the key just a smidge in order to power the lights and the radio, which he turned on low. It was comforting to have a little background noise and to have some illumination from the headlights. They shone across the water, making the setting even more romantic.
“You can really see the stars here, not like in California where the smog covers them,” Matty noted as he looked up at the clear sky. “It’s so peaceful here. Hey, let’s put our seats back so we can look up at the stars properly,” and before I could reply, Matty had popped his seat back into a reclining position, gesturing for me to do the same. My seat swung back so fast that I lost my balance and fell back with a thud, causing both of us to break into laughter. The funny moment was just what I needed to distract me from my nerves and to remember that I was here with Matty; there was nothing to be anxious about.
We both relaxed into our reclined seats and looked up at the night sky. Matty was right: it was peaceful. Quiet and calm surrounded us, with the only the noise being that of the water lapping against the shore and the faint sound of the radio as a backdrop. We laid back in silence for what seemed like a long time but was probably only a few minutes when Matty spoke.
“My meeting at the Miller Sports Foundation went really well today,” he said.
“That’s great. Are they going to partner with your company, then?”
“I think so, but we actually ended up talking about some other things.”
“Oh, like what?” I asked, waving a hand over my face to swat away a bug.
“Well, they offered me a position at their office. They said they’d love to have me join their team if I was willing to relocate here.”
My heart nearly stopped and I held my breath a moment before responding, “Relocate to Lincoln?” which was the city that Miller Sports was based. Li
ncoln was next to Lakeview, with Lakeview considered somewhat a suburb to the larger municipality.
“Lincoln. Or Lakeview,” Matty said, and I could tell he was looking at my side profile as I continued to look up at the sky. “They mandate that their employees live within a forty-five-mile radius of the office.”
“So,” I said slowly, “you’ve been offered a job that would move you here. You would quit your job in California. The job at your dad’s firm, where you have always worked. You would give up your place there and leave your family to move…. here? Is that right?”
“Yes, Leah,” Matthew said softly, rolling onto his side to face me and reaching out his hand to gently turn my face towards his. “I’d leave everything behind in California to move here to work. I would leave everything behind to move here even without the job. I would leave everything to move here to be with you, Leah. I love you.”
And at hearing that, my face crumbled and tears starting pouring down my cheeks. Whether from shock or pure joy, I didn’t know which. I just knew that never in my life had I been so happy. And that manifested itself in me turning into a red, blotchy, runny-nosed mess.
“What? Leah, don’t you…. don’t you want me here? I mean, I thought…” I stopped Matty in mid-sentence by pulling his face to mine and kissing his mouth hard. I could feel my salt water tears soaking into his face, but I didn’t care. I held his mouth to mine for several moments before letting him go and taking in a huge breath.
“I do want you here, Matty. Job or no job. I want you here. I want you! I have always wanted you. I just can’t believe that I actually get to have you.”