“Just had the same thought. I need to find out if the discovery of all this could work in Dr. A’s favor. Let’s not disturb the evidence any more than we have.”
“Based on the files I perused, she was in league with Dilwen—I’d say big time—and collected info on the man as an insurance policy. Just in case…and in the end, her illegal activities did her in.”
“Not sure why I didn’t do it before, but I did a little research on Dilwen earlier and pulled up some photos, in case we saw him on the street, so we could turn in the other direction.” I shuddered at the thought of the man connecting either of us to the case in any way. “For a criminal, he doesn’t keep a low social profile. Remember when we saw Lucas in an argument with a man? Well, that was Dilly. Now what was that about, do you think?”
“I know that my first choice is usually to rush in and think about it later, but not this time,” Fab said. “I say we get some legal advice before wading in any further, and not from Lucas Mark.”
“Agreed. I’m going to get advice from the person I trust the most—Creole. After you, of course.” I smiled at her. “He was an undercover cop for years; he’ll know what to do.”
Fab went on down the hall.
I made sure everything was back how I’d found it and stood in the doorway of the master bedroom, watching as she scanned the room and poked her head in the closet.
“Let’s get out of here.” Fab led the way back into the kitchen. She opened one of the shutters on the kitchen window, checking the street before opening the door.
We walked down the stairs and back to the SUV.
Headed back to the Cove, I shared what I’d found and that I’d taken pictures.
“I’m rubbing off on you.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Let’s stop by Tropical Slumber and see what our two favorite funeral diggers are up to.” I waved frantically at the next exit.
Fab swung out to hit my arm, not amused by my antics. I grinned back. “That would be gravediggers, and Raul and Dickie would be highly insulted to be referred to as such, since they don’t actually dig up anything. And since when do you volunteer to go see them?”
I met Dickie Vanderbilt at the funeral of my Aunt Elizabeth when I first came to town, and that, as they say, was the start of a sometimes awkward and weird friendship.
“Yes, I know…they’re artists. Dickie, anyway.” He dressed the dead, and his partner, Raul, handled the business end. Fab and I were in agreement on who had the better end of that partnership. “I’m interested in what happened to Nicolette’s remains.” I ignored Fab’s humph. “You know that anyone who’s anyone wants to have their final shindig at the old hot dog drive-thru.”
Some clever person had thought it would be a good idea to take the old fast food restaurant and, after extensive remodeling, turn it into a funeral home. Two owners later, Dickie and Raul came along and expanded the operation to include anything and everything for one’s final send-off needs.
“Are you going to be nice?” Fab smirked.
“You’ve got some nerve. But now that you mention it, I could be even nicer if they have some leftover funeral food for me to share with the dogs.” The best day ever for the twin Dobermans was the day they were re-homed with the guys.
Fab careened into the driveway, where the parking options were completely open, the only other car was the hearse parked under the awning. She straddled the red carpet that ran from the parking lot into the entry.
“That Hollywood ambiance,” Raul had told me once and laughed his head off.
We got out and were halfway to the door when it opened and Raul stuck his head out, a big smile on his face. Necco and Astro squeezed by him and skated over, skidding to a stop in front of me, knowing I was good for a head scratch, which I obliged them with.
“To what do we owe the honor?” Raul opened the door wide.
The dogs followed me as I took my assigned plastic-covered seat by the door and camped at my feet. I surveyed the table in the center of the room and was disappointed that there wasn’t any food; in particular, the tea sandwiches.
Fab pointed to me.
Dickie could be heard shuffling down the hall, and in a moment, his tall, lean frame entered the room. His skin was ghostly white, and the two men couldn’t be more opposite looks-wise. Raul was tanned, with a physique that could have made the cover of a bodybuilding magazine.
Dickie exchanged nods with Fab as she went on her usual trek, peeking into viewing rooms, checking for…? Maybe she was taking a dead-body count. No one ever asked her.
“Did you handle the funeral for Nicolette Anais?” I asked.
Dickie nodded, his lips curled in a faint smile. “Beautiful woman.” He paused, as though reminiscing. “I went easy on the makeup to bring out her natural beauty.”
“It was a quiet affair,” Raul said solemnly, seating himself in one of the chairs that dotted the entry.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“No one showed.” Dickie sniffed and straightened his posture, if that was possible. No slouching for this man, ever.
“We got a call from her brother, who ordered us to pick her up at the morgue,” Raul said. “He then instructed us to choose a top-of-the-line casket and made arrangements to have us host the service here.” He waved at the main room. “We were the only two in attendance. And graveside.”
“No expense spared for a funeral no one attended,” I mused.
“How did the brother pay?” Fab asked, having finished snooping.
“That was interesting,” Raul said.
Dickie nodded.
“The next day, a messenger showed up with an envelope full of cash,” Raul said.
“That’s the way I prefer that my clients pay,” Fab said, the sides of her mouth turning up.
“You didn’t find that…shady?” I asked.
“Wouldn’t be our first cash funeral,” Raul said. “All these questions… Are you about to tell us we buried the wrong person or… Because the brother’s name matched the next of kin on the report from the county and on the death certificate.”
“Tell her the weird part,” Dickie prodded.
“The brother… Theodore Anais, that’s it. Anyway, we had several phone conversations regarding the details prior to the funeral. I called and gave him an update the day of the services, though there wasn’t much to tell.”
Dickie cleared his throat—translated: hurry up.
“A few days later, I called to make sure Mr. Anais was satisfied, and the number had been disconnected,” Raul told us.
“You get any good details about the case from your friend at the morgue?” Fab asked.
“When Miss Anais overdosed, it wasn’t the first time she’d used drugs,” Raul said. “Toxicology reports confirmed she was a long-time user.”
Bored, Fab moved to stand in the doorway to the main room, poking her head inside. “And no other calls?” she asked over her shoulder.
“I’d appreciate your telling me now that we’re not going to have a problem. We did everything by the book.” Raul twisted his fingers.
“We honestly had no reason to think anything was amiss,” Dickie said. “The reason Mr. Anais didn’t attend was that he lives on the west coast. It didn’t occur to us that anyone would spend thousands on a bogus funeral.” He looked for confirmation to Raul, who nodded.
“No one could ever accuse the two of you of shoddy business practices,” I assured them. “It’s me grasping at straws, and the reason we’re here is that Nicolette was the girlfriend of a friend of mine.”
“Dr. A called here after we picked up the body, seeming surprised that we’d already done so and wanting to know by whose order,” Raul said. “Dickie took the call and referred it to me, as I’d handled the paperwork. We engaged in a couple of rounds of phone tag, and then read in the paper that he got arrested.”
“In the short conversation I had with him,” Dickie said, “I got the impression that he’d planned
to make the arrangements himself.”
Fab had disappeared inside the main room and was now back standing in the doorway. “What’s going on in here?” She motioned me to come look inside.
I quirked my head and returned a blank stare. I didn’t want to know, and I didn’t understand Fab’s fascination with all things dead.
“We’re having a funeral tonight for an older man with a fascination for glitter.” Raul stood and crossed the room to stand next to Fab. “We special-ordered a casket and had it decorated in purple glitter, his favorite color.”
“Several members of the family showed to make the decisions and couldn’t agree on anything.” Dickie winced. “It almost came to a brawl. Thank goodness Raul has a knack for defusing such situations.”
Raul encouraged Fab’s ghoulish streak. They’d ditched me and Dickie to make small talk and run out. I stayed seated, not having any interest in glitter or funerals, nor any intention of disturbing the dogs sleeping on my feet.
Breaking the silence, I asked, “Are you expecting more trouble tonight?” I didn’t want to volunteer for guard duty, but couldn’t leave them stranded after the times they’d helped us out.
“Fab didn’t tell you?” Dickie appeared confused. “Since she had prior plans, she sent over Toady. He presents a formidable presence at first, but once we got to talking, I was sure there won’t be a problem. He was a good sport about wearing the glitter suit we got him, so he’d fit in as a guest.”
“Did you tell Toady exactly what you expect from him?” Glitter suit? Toady? It would be rude to ask them to take a picture.
“Raul was quite clear that if things get out of hand, family fight and all, and shots are fired, Toady firing back should only be in self-defense.” Dickie shuddered. “Word would get out, and it might be bad for future business.”
“It brings the customers into Jake’s, but I imagine the funeral business would be different.” I added the latter point at his look of shock.
“Don’t mention it to Raul; my nerves can’t take it.” Dickie’s tone was pleading. “He’s already loath to turn down anyone’s crazy idea.”
I smiled sympathetically.
Fab and Raul reappeared, laughing over a shared joke.
I’d bet on funeral humor. I gave Fab a hurry it up stare and nudged the dogs awake. They jumped up and went to stand by the door, ready to make a run for it when it opened. “Thank you for the info.” I stood and followed the dogs.
“We’re happy to share information with you anytime.” Raul escorted us outside.
Dickie waved.
Once Fab and I were in the Hummer, I said, “Toady for funerals?” I turned and waved to the guys as we drove out.
“It’s better than us. Besides, Toady told me they got along like three peas in a boot. He’s outfitting himself with a pair of six-shooters strapped to the outside of his suit, advertising he’s the guard.”
“This is one of those speechless moments.”
Chapter Thirty
Fab had made the decision that it had been too long since we’d enjoyed morning coffee at our old haunt, the Bakery Café, and sent me a text to get ready. She arrived at my house to pick me up right as Creole was leaving.
“How is it that your timing is so impeccable?” I asked, grabbing my bag and sliding into the passenger side of the Hummer.
Fab shot down the road like a rocket. Too much coffee already. “I’ve got a telescope.”
No, she didn’t. “You better have ordered two.”
Fab laughed, pulling into a space in front of the restaurant. “I’ll get the coffee; you evict those people from our table.” She flicked her hand in a “get on it” motion.
Sure. “I’d rather get the coffee.”
“I’m not in the mood for jail, which is what would happen if I had to shoot one of them to get them to move.” She was gone before I could respond.
I eyed the table at the end of the sidewalk, our favorite spot for people-watching and a bit of privacy from being overheard, and was relieved to see the couple getting up. I moved in before someone else got the idea to take it. Sitting down, I surveyed the occupants at the rest of the tables and groaned at the sight of GC at the opposite end, then kept my eyes averted.
Fab came back with a tray, serving our coffee and setting down a plate with one pecan roll and two forks.
“I don’t like to share,” I whined, scowling at the plate.
“I only want a bite.”
“That’s what everyone says, and the next thing you know…eaten. And I’m the one who only got one bite.”
“I’ll get another one. Happy now?” Fab shook her head and sat down. “Don’t look now, but GC is bearing down on us. He just graced me with something he probably considers a smile but falls short.”
“Hello, you two.” He put his hand on a chair to pull it out.
Ready for him, I hooked my foot around the leg and jerked it out of his grasp.
GC peered under the table. “That’s not friendly.” He tsked and lifted the chair in the air and put it back on the ground before sitting. “I came over to smooth the waters over the misunderstanding about my brother repping that murderer friend of yours.”
“Is that your idea of an apology?” Fab sniffed. “If it is, it stinks. And while we’re on the subject, you ever talk to Madison like that again and I’ll shoot both your friends off,” she threatened, complete with sound effects.
“I’m certain we can get through this conversation without the histrionics.” He leveled a glare at Fab.
“I’m happy that you now believe that your brother was the one to contact me and not the other way around.” My phone rang, thankfully getting me out of this awkward conversation, even if only for a moment. Liam’s picture popped up. I stood and stepped away. “I’m honored,” I answered.
“You might not be when I tell you I’m calling for a favor.” Liam sighed. “I’m fairly certain I don’t have any IOUs to cash in but will be working on that in the future.”
“Please…in my book, you have a million.”
“When you find out what I want, it’ll probably use them all up.” Liam laughed. “I’m here in the Cove. Can we meet somewhere?”
“Fab and I are at the Bakery Cafe, having coffee. I can ditch her, and we can meet up.” I winked at Fab, who’d stopped trading glares with GC and turned her attention to my conversation at the mention of her name.
“Two of you is good. Be there in five.” Liam disconnected.
I groaned inwardly. He was in college, and I didn’t want whatever he needed to be serious.
I returned to the table and sat, staring at GC. “Sorry to have to break up this reunion, but we’re meeting a client.”
“Glad we got things straightened out.” GC stood. “Call if you need anything.” He waved and walked down the street.
Fab craned her head to see where he went. One would assume he was on foot, but my guess was his ride was hidden somewhere nearby.
“Do you suppose he remembers that he disconnected the phone number he gave us? Wonder if we’re reconnected?” Fab mused.
“If my Plan B goes according to plan, which is to hire us an assistant with computer skills, we’ll only use GC as a last resort.”
“I don’t recall any interviewing for the job.”
“And you’re not going to,” I said adamantly. “It’s going to be hard enough to get someone to take the job without them meeting you in advance.”
“New client? Old? Or was that a ruse?” Fab fired the questions at me.
I pointed as Liam’s pickup truck pulled into a parking space that had just been vacated.
“He needs our help?” Fab asked surprised. “Girl trouble already?”
“His entire life, he’s been surrounded by men who made poor choices in women; it’s my hope that he learned a trick or two for how to weed them out.” I sighed. “No snoopy personal questions either. It’s none of your business.”
Liam got out and crossed the sidewalk, ki
ssed us both, and sat in the chair GC had vacated.
“Anything you tell us is confidential,” Fab said.
“It’s about my Uncle Kevin, and you can’t tell him I told you. You might have to tell him at some point, though, and that will be awkward.”
“We’re not Kevin’s favorite people,” I reminded him. “He tolerates us; that’s about it.”
“Kev needs help and isn’t going to ask himself. I thought I’d test the waters before I suggested that he contact you two.”
I didn’t tell him that Kevin agreeing to our help on anything had zero chance of success.
“Kevin’s on vacation this week. He planned to spend the week with his latest girlfriend, Rain, except last night, they went out and she got drunk and instigated a bar fight. He managed to get her out of there before the cops got called.”
“What did he do with out-of-control drunk chick then?” I asked. “Please, don’t tell me he took Rain to The Cottages.”
“To sleep it off.” Liam grimaced. “Kevin decided that she wasn’t worth the drama, and when she woke up after sleeping off her drunk, he ended the relationship.”
“While the chick was hung over?” Fab asked. “That probably wasn’t a good time. I’d lay odds that she didn’t take it well.”
“I realize I’m not the most experienced one in the family…”
“Thank goodness,” I mumbled.
At Liam’s raised eyebrow, I zipped my lips, to his amusement.
“If I’d been around,” Liam continued, “I’d have told him to get her out of the cottage first. Although a breakup speech in the driveway is rude, too. Is there a good place? For basically ‘get lost’?”
“She destroyed the cottage?” I groaned. It had been a while since I’d had to renovate due to vandalism. I didn’t miss those days.
“Not exactly,” Liam said. “When Rain finally got the message that the relationship was over, she went into a screaming fit. He finally got rid of her, she hauled butt down the street, and he went to take a shower. He thinks she grabbed his keys on the way out, doubled back, let herself in, and stole his wallet, badge, and firearm.”
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