Debbie laughed. "Seriously, though, there's a lot more to you than that. I can see that, now."
Chapter twenty
Rutherford came and took Debbie to have breakfast-another freshly acquired blood bag, I presumed.
I almost forgot I'd promised to help Malinda. It dawned on me, though, that what she needed was Debbie's blood. After my conversation with Devin's mom the night before, how could I even begin approaching that subject with her? It was less than a day before when Debbie wanted to see the true death, when she'd flown around the place in bat form angry about what she was, about where we'd taken her. It was a lot to expect her, now, to help a witch by allowing another witch to use her blood for a spell. There had to be another way. Another youngling, fresh off a feed, perhaps. I was a vampire hunter, after all. While I'd done more slaying than hunting, recently, I knew how to find younglings. It wasn't hard. And New Orleans was basically the vampire capital of the world-aside from Transylvania, perhaps. Finding a youngling couldn't be that hard.
Finding a blood witch and smuggling her and a youngling into both Vilokan and from there into the asylum was another matter entirely.
One thing about the Vilokan Asylum that was moderately impressive was that the kitchen catered to various unique diets. For me, since I used to eat humans, they always gave me chicken.
Because human tastes like chicken. Really, it does.
They apparently didn't realize that I'd expanded my menu over the years. I didn't only eat chicken now. I found several other protein sources that were just as satisfying. In Kansas City, that meant a lot of barbecue.
The chicken they served me on my plate was bland by comparison. But it filled the hole. One of the nurses fed Malinda, spooning her some mush that I imagined represented a balanced human diet. Looked like vomit. Probably tasted like it, too. The nurses, though, were too oblivious to realize that Malinda would care.
I didn't know what half of the supernatural creatures seated around the tables in the cafeteria were. No vampires at the time were there. I would have smelled them. But there was what looked like a man with an owls' head and a human body, albeit covered in feathers, feasting on what looked like a roasted rat. A shifter, perhaps, stuck halfway between forms. I made a mental note not to go near him if I became a bat at any point, again, while at the asylum. Bats are basically flying rats, after all.
There was another person, a young girl with a bucket next to her. She continually dipped a sponge into it and spread the water over her body. She had crab legs and a filet of fish on her plate-I was mildly jealous.
Curious, I sat down next to her. "I'm Nicky," I said.
The girl looked at me and cocked her head. "What are you, Nicky?"
"I used to be a water elemental," I said. "What about you?"
"I'm a mermaid," the girls said. "A Fomorian, technically."
"A mermaid?" I asked. "Where's your tail?"
The girl smiled as she spread her sponge across one of her arms. "Our kind can shift into a human-like form."
"I see. What's with the sponge?" I asked.
"Since we're accustomed to water, if we don't keep ourselves moist, we dry out quickly."
"So what brings you here? Seems awfully inconvenient. I figure it must be pretty serious. I mean, I know it's not any of my business."
The girl chuckled. "I shit too much."
"You what?"
"In Fomoria, if you shit in the water, it just floats around. Pollutes the whole city. After your third offense, you get sent here for corrective action. The number three, number two, was what got me committed."
I snorted. "Well, I hope it's going well for you."
"It's been twenty-nine days since my last accident. Three more days, I'll get my thirty-day coin."
I pressed my lips together. "Well, congratulations, I think."
"Thanks! Why are you here, then?"
"I was stricken by a bat-shifting curse, trying to get a handle on it."
"So that was you?" the girl asked. "Everyone's been talking about it. You and the new vampire."
I nodded. "I wasn't the one who shifted into the bat. She was. But it could have just as easily been me if the vamp had been hungry."
"Well, good luck!" the girl exclaimed. "The name's Sariah, by the way."
"Nice to meet you, Sariah," I said, taking a bite out of one of my chicken strips. "How long until you are free to go home?"
"I have to get past ninety days. It's funny, you know. Back home, I get in trouble for pooping in the water. Here, they expect me to do exactly that. Every time!"
"That must be confusing for you."
"I know, right? In my home town, they have these tubes that you're supposed to stick your backside in when you go. They suck it right out of you and into the waters outside of the city. What can I say? I don't like the feeling!"
"I'm sure it's unpleasant," I said, nodding politely.
"You try sticking a vacuum hose up to your butt every time you have to go, and then we can talk about what's unpleasant."
I snorted. "I'll take your word for it. It doesn't sound like an experiment I'm particularly eager to try. Not to mention, my roommate just bought a fancy new Hoover. I doubt she'd appreciate it."
Sariah shook her head. "You'd think, if they wanted me to change my habits, they'd put me somewhere that required me to do something similar. But, you know, so long as they don't question it, I'm not about to say anything."
I took another bite of my food. "Probably a wise choice."
I'd intended to meet up with Malinda again, see how she was doing. The nurse was still busy feeding her by the spoonful of whatever it was they were giving her. I looked around. "Well, it was a pleasure," I said. "I think I'm going to go to the arts and crafts room. This gown needs some work."
Sariah cracked open a crab leg and sucked its meat right out its shell. "Have fun with that!"
"Will do," I said. "And have fun, you know, pooping where you're supposed to."
"I will! Take care, Nicky!"
I nodded and stood up. I dropped off my tray at the little window leading into the kitchen, where they did the dishwashing, and went into the arts and crafts room.
They had several stacks of plastic drawers in there, all stacked on top of each other. I found the one labeled "sewing" and opened it. I grabbed a needle and a spool of threat and, removing my gown, sat at one of the tables.
I wasn't sure how I was going to approach this. I wasn't a seamstress by any stretch of my imagination, but I had time to burn. And I was sick of this damned gown. The thing was awfully breezy, especially around the nether regions.
I sat there, in nothing but my panties and heels, as I started trying to sew up the bottom into something that resembled leg holes. I often wore dresses and the occasional skirt. But even those weren't as drafty as these dumb gowns. At least, when I wore a dress, I looked good in it. A little extra wind down under was a price worth paying. Not the case with this ridiculous smurf gown. Fa la la la la la.
With the legs sew into the gown, phase one was complete. Phase two was all about accents. This was the fun part. Without a little flare, it just looked like a hospital gown with legs. Yeah, I know, that's what it was. But I needed to take it up a notch. I rooted through the craft drawers for something I could use to give my jumpsuit a little spice. I found a long piece of black felt-perfect for a belt. Even though I wasn't sure yet how it would look, my plan was to slip back into the gown, put a belt around the middle to break up the monotony of the cartoon pattern, and then I'd reevaluate what other adjustments needed to be made. A lot of people think that my fabulousness just happens. Not true. To have style, the kind that puts the Cosmo cover models on notice, you must be willing to experiment. Try something. Hideous? Move on. Anyone can dress nice. If you want to be fabulous, catch the eye, and do something bold that catches the eye, you have to be willing to experiment.
I finished the belt, slipped into the jumpsuit I'd created, and evaluated myself in front of the mirror
. I smiled back at myself. I still wouldn't be caught dead in it on stage or even out on the town, but it was an improvement. Maybe I'd add some sequins. Not too much. I wasn't trying to turn this thing into a bad prom dress. And it wasn't my flare of choice. But in an art and crafts room in a nuthouse, you're limited on options. I learned a while back that control what you have to work with. Whatever you've got—you'd better work it. Just a few sequins to border the pant legs, maybe around the neckline... hmm...
"Nicky?"
I turned. Cain was standing there with a wide grip split across his face. "What are you doing?"
I shrugged. "It's no Dolce and Gabbana, but it'll do."
Cain shook his head. "Well, I'd like you to come with me."
"Another session?" I asked.
"Not this time," Cain said. "Annabelle has arranged a meeting with someone that might help."
"Another bat shifter?" I asked.
Cain shook his head. "Not exactly. Let's go. She'll meet us in her office."
"Sweet," I said. "So I'm getting out of here?"
"For now," Cain said. "But are you seriously going to wear that?"
"No way!" I exclaimed, running my fingers through my hair. "Honey, this is a work in progress. Emphasis on the word progress. Can I have my clothes back?"
Cain chuckled. "Of course, Nicky."
Chapter twenty-one
I could smell her from outside Annabelle's office. It wasn't as strong as it usually was. Probably because I'd shared a room with Debbie the night before. Sort of like how plumbers, ranchers, zookeepers, and other folks who work stinky jobs hardly notice the repulsive odors associated with their occupations.
"A vampire?" I asked Cain as we stepped through the door.
Cain smiled. "She's more than that."
The vampire was a blond girl, probably eighteen or nineteen at most. She was seated on Annabelle's desk, one leg lifted and bent. She had red eyes—vampire's eyes. Probably not a genuine Catholic school girl, but she was dressed for the part. She had a sly smile on her face and was twirling a magic wand in her hand as if it were a baton.
"Welcome back, Nicky," Annabelle said from behind her desk as the young vampire hopped off it. "This is Hailey. She's the vampire I told you about before. The one I healed, similar to how your boyfriend turned his mom."
I nodded at Hailey. "Nice to meet you. I assume you were invited to share your experience with Debbie?"
Hailey shook her head and walked toward me, exuding an air of confidence uncommon from someone who only appeared to be in her late teens. She ran her index finger up my arm and across my shoulder. "I hear you need a blood witch."
"Hailey," Annabelle said. "We were getting to that."
"Wait," I said, looking at Cain. "Heard from who? I had a private conversation with someone about that. They thought a blood witch could help. But I haven't said a word about that conversation to anyone."
"We have cameras and microphones all over the asylum, Nicky."
"You were listening to me talk to Malinda?" I asked.
"He wasn't," Annabelle interjected. "I was. I have access to the feeds and, given what Malinda has been through, and given your past relationship with her at the asylum, we thought you might be able to get through to her."
"Also due to your elemental constitution," Cain said.
"Witches have a special relationship with the elements," Hailey said. "There are water witches, fire witches, blood witches, sand witches..."
"Sand witches?"
"Turkey on rye, peanut butter and jelly, grilled cheese, sub sandwiches. All kinds!" A wide grin spread across Hailey's face as she winked at me.
"Ah, of course. A joke."
"But there are earth witches. They don't take kindly to being called sand witches."
"I suppose they wouldn't," I said.
"They prefer to call themselves 'Druids' anyway."
I nodded. "I've heard of Druids. Never met one."
"Tree huggers, the lot of them," Hailey said, shrugging.
Annabelle cleared her throat. "But most of them are quite peaceful people. More than a few are friends of mine."
"After your breakthrough with Malinda," Cain said. "We'd like to see if Hailey might be able to help. We figured, since Malinda trusts you, she might be more willing to allow Hailey to work if she comes with you."
I ran my fingers through my hair. "But Malinda told me that the witch will need the blood of someone cursed or vexed."
"That makes sense," Hailey said. "A cruse affected by blood magic can only be undone by cursed blood."
"What about your mother-in-law?" Annabelle asked. "If she shifts into a bat, like you do, technically she's cursed."
"Devin and I aren't married. So, she's not my mother-in-law. Malinda suggested her as well. But Debbie... I don't know..."
"I agree," Cain said. "Malinda is my patient, but Debbie is, too. I won't subject her to that. Her state of mind is too fragile as it is, and as repulsed as she is about being a vampire, she has even less tolerance for witches."
I nodded. "Thank you, Cain. I agree."
Cain nodded his head once. "Besides, I think if we went on hunt for another vampire it might give us a chance to work on your shifting issue. I know where we might find one who was cursed a little more than a century ago."
"Cursed in what way?" I asked.
"The vampire I'm speaking of has lived as a hermit in Manchac Swamp for some time. He was cursed when the Caplata Julie Brown cursed the whole logging village that used to be there. Of course, as a vampire he didn't die like the rest of them."
"Will that work?" Annabelle asked. "If he was a vampire and not affected by the curse does that really count?"
"I didn't say he wasn't affected. The curse that fell on the place made the lot of the people who lived there paranoid, afraid to leave the swamp. While the hurricane that came wiped them out, the paranoia vex remained on the vampire."
"And the Vampire Council hasn't bothered him in all this time?" Annabelle asked.
"They haven't," Hailey said. "The ghost of Julie Brown protected him for years. Perhaps because she felt guilty for cursing him to begin with. Maybe because he offered her companionship while she guarded the Flambeaux of the Witch of Endor in the swamp. Nonetheless, since Julie has resumed a material form we continue to honor her wish that he not be harmed. Not to mention, due to his age, he only requires blood a few times a year. It's been a while, though. I think he's due. If Julie has no objections to it, it may be a viable option."
"He sounds like a great candidate for the asylum," I said. "But what if this Julie person, this ghost or whatever she is, doesn't agree?"
"Don't worry about Julie," Cain said. "We have a close relationship. The infernal object, her flambeaux, can bring out my wolf if she evokes it. From time to time we've had reason to work together."
"A ghost in bodily form," I said, shaking my head. "Sounds fascinating. But this vampire we're hunting, you want to this tonight? Cain, isn't tonight a full moon?"
"Tonight's excursion has several purposes, all wrapped up into one. I'd like you to join me as I shift."
"So I can see how you do it?" I asked.
"Not so much how I shift, but how I and others who are certainly cursed can embrace it as a gift, can maintain civility even amid our monstrosity. Perhaps you'll learn that this ability you have isn't a curse at all."
I shook my head. "It has to be. Why else would the witches be after Devin?"
Hailey cleared her throat. "As both a vampire and a witch, I can tell you there are many ways a vampire can benefit from the craft. There could be any number of reasons why they've taken a particular interest in him."
I shook my head. "But Devin is descended from the witch who cursed these vampires, or at least cast whatever the hell it was that gave this ability to them. It makes sense that they'd want him to dispel it."
Hailey shrugged. "To give a vampire a shifting ability is a unique skill set, one that a witch can't learn but can only inherit
. I think it's just as likely that these bat-shifting vampires want Devin so that he can give them more shifting powers, not less."
I raised my eyebrow. "He could help them shift into something else?"
"Before you go there, Nicky," Cain said. "I don't know if he could do the same for you. If you're thinking about asking him to give you another body."
I shook my head. "Not what I was thinking. He likes me this way."
"But if the vampires did acquire an ability to shift into other human shapes," Annabelle said, thinking out loud, "can you imagine what advantage that would give them?"
"Imagine a vampire shifting to look like the President," Hailey said.
"Or the Voodoo Queen," Cain said, raising an eyebrow.
Annabelle rolled her eyes. "I'm not a vampire if that's what you're suggesting."
Cain laughed. "Not at all. I'm only illustrating the sort of havoc such vampires might wreck if they gained an ability like that."
"Where's Devin, by the way?" I asked.
"He's safe," Annabelle said. "He and Pauli had a great time out on the quarter last night."
I raised my eyebrow. "He went out with Pauli?"
"From what Pauli told me, they hit all the clubs."
I snorted. "Okay."
"Are you jealous, Nicky?" Cain asked, narrowing his eyes pensively as he often did when he went into therapist mode.
"Nope," I said. "Just surprised. Devin was the one who acted jealous when Pauli was flirting with me."
Hailey shrugged. "Maybe he was jealous because he wanted Pauli to flirt with him, instead."
"Hailey!" Annabelle interjected. "You know that's not the case."
"Sorry," Hailey said. "But Pauli is hot. Not like anyone could blame Devin for being interested."
I fidgeted with the pleat on the edge of my leather pants. "Devin wouldn't cheat on me. He loves me."
"Then why are you so nervous about it, Nicky?" Cain asked.
I sighed. "A conversation he and I had recently. I still haven't, you know, put out. And he said he wouldn't wait for me forever."
"You seriously aren't putting out for your man?" Hailey asked. "Why the hell not?"
Bat Shift Crazy: An Ex-Shifter turned Vampire Hunter Urban Fantasy (The Legend of Nyx Book 2) Page 11