by J P Carver
The world was engulfed in white. I gasped at the sudden influx of the drug and my entire body shook from the sensation. I was gone, flying into the ether and everything felt just… wonderful.
“Oh, Jesus…” I heard a voice, distant and like an echo through a cavern. “Ragan—what?” It was a male voice, but I was too high to care.
Nothing mattered anymore, only the flying and the tingling of my skin was important. I laughed, but it felt strange and it turned to a gasp as someone touched my feet and legs and then lifted me from the table. Then I really flew, the air cool against my heated skin. Explosions sounded as we moved, like thunder claps every few moments. “Stay with me, Ragan. You hear me? Don’t you fly off.”
I opened my real eyes and found black fabric in front of me. I could hear his lungs filling and deflating and his heart thudded against his ribs, the sound almost hypnotic. Thud. Thud. Thud. Breath. Thud. Thud. Thud. Breath. I giggled at the sounds and placed a hand against his chest so I could feel the thudding. It was soothing. We continued down steps, then through another door. That was what the claps had been, doors. Then, he came to a sudden stop.
“What the hell are you doing?” A voice yelled, one I recognized, but couldn’t put into place. “What did you do to her?”
“I found her,” the person that held me shouted back. “I found her in an old research room.”
Footsteps, more than one set, came running toward me. Hands were on me, the sensation overwhelming.
“How did you know where she was?” Another familiar voice. I tried to latch onto it, tried to put it in its place in my memory, but every time I got close, my head went dizzy again.
“I—I didn’t. She sent a message for help and I had seen her duck into the doorway. I thought maybe Rentena had hired her and wanted to check. I swear, I didn’t do anything.” The male voice sounded almost pleading. Someone pulled me from him and held me, the fabric the same as before. His heart thudded far harder, but his grip was gentle, feather-like.
“You see who did this to her? Don’t give me any shite, I’ll be able to tell.”
“No—I was looking through the hallways, following tracks in the dust. When I found her, she was out of it. If she hadn’t been mumbling, I wouldn’t have even seen her.”
A hand smoothed sweaty hair away from my forehead. “Meri… she’s gonna need a doctor.”
“Well, that’s what you are, aren’t you?”
“Don’t start that, Meri. I can’t do anything for her here.”
“Let’s get moving, we gotta find a hospital, right? The person who held me said.
“Oh, that would be brilliant, wouldn’t it? You stupid git — if she pops up on the radar do you think she’d be safe in a shite-hole of a hospital? If who ever did this works for Rentena, then they’re already in the hospitals.”
“Do something,” the first male voice said. “She won’t make it much longer. I’ve seen this reaction before.”
“Where?”
“In my research, a weight-loss pill that was scraped caused it.”
"Well, someone un-scraped the bloody thing, didn’t they?" There was a slight scuffle and some shouts. "Screw it all. You better give me all you got on this drug, you get me, Chris? I will bloody-well break your legs and what's between them if she dies."
“Yeah, everything I got.”
“Not much help without a hospital. Even if we knock the edge off, the withdraw will kill her with such a large dose.”
“Can’t wane her slow, that’ll kill her too,” the first male voice said.
“Then what?”
“Look, I’ve never seen someone this dosed with this drug. She shouldn’t even be alive right now.”
“My dad,” I heard the voice more in the chest I laid against than in the air.
“What about him?”
“He’s got a clinic in the house. He’d help if I asked him, I know it.”
“Who the hell is your dad?”
“Dr. Thaxton.”
There was a moment of silence and it felt like everyone had turned to look at the person holding me.
“You’re kidding me—Okay, daddy Thaxton’s place it is. You sure he’ll help us? We don’t got the time to go somewhere else.”
“He—yeah, he will. It’ll be a fight I bet, but I’ll make him.”
“Good. Sera? Go with Marcus and make sure Ragan makes it. You? You and me are gonna have a good long chat.”
“However I can help.”
“Oh, you’re gonna help, Chris.”
I was moving again, down steps that jostled my stomach to where I thought I’d throw up. I didn’t, but I wished I did to stop the nausea. The brightness of the world was slipping into darkness and I knew I was on the back end of the high.
“You’ll be okay, Doll. You’ll be okay.” The person that carried me repeated it like a mantra, and I wanted to believe him.
Cold seeped into my skin and water splattered my face which made my body shiver. I was outside for only a moment and then back inside somewhere small. The cushions were soft, and I snuggled up to the person beside me and threw up. He didn’t move other than to wipe my mouth with his thumb. “You’re gonna be fine, just hang in there.”
It didn't seem like anything would be fine.
My body shook uncontrollably by the time we left the warm confines of the car. I could finally place a name to the person who carried me up a set of steps in the chill of night. It was Marcus.
In the shadows of my vision I could see the worry in his face and it hurt my chest to take it in. Sera walked beside us, her heels clacking on the concrete.
“He better be here,” she said and placed a hand to my forehead. “She’s getting worse.”
“He’s here. He’s always here on Friday nights.” We came to the door which looked monstrous. It towered over us, the red paint almost giving off its own evil glow. The doorbell rang in three bells and each ding seemed to affect my vision, making things even more blurry.
The door opened, but the darkness of the room hid the person.
“What is—Marcus?”
“Dad.”
“What’s going on? Who are you carrying? What the hell did you get yourself into this time?”
“Lots of questions that I don’t have time to answer.”
“She’s been drugged, Dr. Thaxton—” Sera said and the light in the hall turned on. I could make out that he was a big man, tall and round.
“And? I don’t see what I’m supposed to do about it.”
“My name is Dr. Sera Bravii, I’m a licensed surgeon.”
“Nice to meet you, Dr. Bravii, but that didn’t answer what you want from me.”
“Dad,” Marcus said and adjusted his hold on me. “We don’t have time to mess around. I—I need your help. Please.”
“I can see she isn’t doing well, Marcus, but this isn’t a hospital. She’d get better care—”
“We can’t take her to one.”
The man stepped out onto the porch and looked down at me and then at Marcus. “Perhaps I should call the police then?”
“She was drugged at Rentena… we think someone who worked there did it,” Sera said.
“Oh? Were they giving out free samples again?”
“Dr. Thaxton, I’ll explain everything, but we need to treat her now or she will not make it.”
He sighed and shook his head for a moment. “You can’t keep out of trouble, can you, Marcus? Fine. What’s she drugged with? Looks like she’s been having a bad trip. The sweating and shakes are a sign of withdraw in most drugs, but if she was just drugged, then that shouldn’t be happening yet.” His hands were rough on my skin as he lifted my arm by my wrist. “Heart rate on its own will damage the heart if it keeps up much longer.”
“Have you heard of the street drug Honeykite?” Sera asked, her voice low.
“Shit, are you telling me—? All right, how much did she take?”
“She didn’t take any, she was drugged,” Marcus said.
“Semantics. How much?”
“We don’t know, but more than I’ve ever seen someone take at once,” Sera said.
“Someone was trying to kill her with it?” Thaxton cursed under his breath. “All right, all right, bring her in. Put her on the table in the clinic. I’ll get washed up and meet you there in a minute. Dr. Bravii, get her stable, what you need will be in the top left cabinet. After that, you need to get us more of that Honeykite.” Dr. Thaxton left down the hallway.
“What? Why? I think she’s had enough, don’t you?” Marcus said.
“He’s right, we can’t just take her off it. You heard Chris, we can’t just let her wait out the withdraw.” Sera pushed the door open to the clinic and searched through the cabinets. The sound hurt my brain.
“Won’t that do more damage though?”
“Yes, but damage we can repair, we can’t do a damn thing about death.” She made an ‘ah-ha’ sound and then turned. “Hurry, put her on the table.”
It was cold, colder than anything I had felt that night, but it was at least soft. I focused on Marcus who stood over me, his hand pushing back hair from my face while his other was in mine, squeezing my fingers. His presence was calming and made it easier to focus, but that didn’t mean the world would listen. It grew darker, and I had enough bad trips in my time to know things would only get worse.
The needle was raw fire as it pierced my skin. I cried out, the sound tearing through my throat, causing almost as much pain. Tears fell warm down my cheeks, and I prayed it would stop soon. Both of them repeated they were sorry, and I realized that I was almost crushing Marcus’s hand, but he didn’t pull away.
“Why—why is she acting like that? I know she doesn’t like needles, but that seemed a bit much.”
“It’s the drug. It heightens senses, so it probably felt like I tore off her arm.” Sera said as she stroked my shoulder, but it was still almost too painful to bear. “You’ll be okay, Ragan. I swear it.” She kissed my forehead, and I groaned at the feel. “Keep her awake. Get a blanket and keep her warm. She won’t want to wear it, but make her. I’m gonna go see if I can score some of that drug.”
“I’ll do all I can.”
"You better," Sera said, and I watched her walk around the table and pull Marcus into a quick, hug. "She will need all of us from here on out."
“Not going anywhere.”
“That’ll be a first,” Dr. Thaxton said as he came into the room, but I couldn’t see him. I heard him walk across the floor. “You need to get out of here, Dr. Bravii. I need that drug.”
“I’m leaving now. Back in twenty.” She left the room as Marcus’s dad moved to my side and I felt the scratchiness of a blanket rake across my skin.
“What’s her name?”
“Ragan. Ragan Eisen.”
“Ragan? Can you hear me?” I turned my head and felt nauseous again. “Good. You’re in for a very rough couple of days. I’ll do all I can to manage your symptoms, but waning you off this drug will not be at all fun. You’ll most likely have hallucinations, probably some disturbing ones. The shot Dr. Bravii gave you will manage the nausea and headache and once she’s back, I will have to give you another dose of the drug. Do you understand?”
I tried to nod, but wasn’t sure I managed.
“Okay, so, do you know how much they gave you?” He held up a syringe. “Was it one of these?” I nodded. “More than one?” I couldn’t remember, but that felt right and so I nodded again. He sighed and stood away from me. “Two doses… your friend is lucky she’s still breathing.”
“So people keep saying, but they don’t know her. It’s not luck, she’s just stubborn.”
“Hmph, well hopefully she can keep being stubborn. All we can do is bring her down and manage the symptoms,” Dr. Thaxton said as he bent over me and stared to cut the dress from my torso on up. He moved a machine over and put pads across my skin. The room was filled with the beep of my heartbeat. It sounded like a record skipping. “Her heartbeat is still far too high.”
"What can we do about it?"
“You tell me.”
“Wha—what?”
“You finished your first two years of medical school before you went stupid. What should we do?”
There was a long moment where the only sound I could hear was my heart beat and my stuttered breathing. “We need to give her an anti-arrhythmic drug… but we don’t know what else she may have been dosed with. The best option would be Zilae, but that can have some serious reactions if she’s allergic to it… and we have no real medical history to go off of. Beyond that, it’ll knock her out. I don’t know if that’s the best idea.”
“At least I didn’t waste all my money. With how she’s handling Honey, I think we’ll be all right with Zilae. Right now her heart rate is more concerning than keeping her awake. Some sleep might even do her some good.”
“But Sera—”
“I would have said the same, keeping her awake means we can have her tell us if something is wrong, but we know something is wrong. Get the shot.”
“You want me to do it?”
“Thought that was obvious. Come on, she won’t be able to keep this up much longer. It’s in the cabinet against the wall. We’ll get an IV started once she’s out.”
“This isn’t the time for this bullshit, dad.” Marcus’s hand left mine and I shivered at the loss. He came back and placed a hand to my arm. “I’m sorry, it’s going to hurt again.”
I nodded and felt tears in my eyes. He placed the injector against my arm and I cried out as the needle went in. The pain was brilliant again, but didn’t last quiet as long as last time. He moved over me, his hands on my face and I could barely make him out in my blurred vision.
“I’m sorry…”
“All right, enough of that. Let’s get her comfortable and set things up for when Dr. Bravii returns.”
Marcus nodded and left me to stare at the bright lights above me. I couldn’t stop the tears, which made my face and sinuses hurt. They moved around me as sobs racked my body.
Consciousness was more of a dream than anything. At moments I felt lucid enough to talk and at others I couldn’t put two thoughts together. The world mixed with my dreams and it became hard to tell them apart until Sera returned with the drug. I heard them talking in mumbled tones. Sera wasn’t too happy that I was in and out, but Thaxton explained the reason and asked for the drug.
“She had two, with how she is now, I’m thinking her body has gotten rid of about half. Her liver will not be doing well after this, but we can resolve most of that trouble later. We have to worry about the withdraw effects right now. I think about a quarter will be enough to get her off the ledge and two hours from now we do half that.”
“The liver damage concerns me,” Sera said.
“Nothing to we can do about it now. If she makes it out the other side of this, then she’ll need to get a new one, or at least some kind of graft. The drug ruins livers.”
“I’ll look into options now. How bad is it?”
“Hasn’t failed yet, and that’s about all we can ask of it.”
“And if it fails?” Marcus asked.
“Then we’ll deal with that too. Look, there is no point in worrying about something we can’t do anything about at the moment. She’s strong and healthy. Her chances are about the best we can hope for.” I heard him walk over and he appeared above me like a flickering holo image.
“Ragan, I'm going to give you another dose of the drug. You will get high off it, but not as much as last time. With your symptoms I don’t believe it’ll be a good time. Try to remember that you’re safe here, okay? Whatever you see or hear, you’re safe. Nothing will happen to you while under my care.”
I couldn’t manage the nod, and he didn’t wait for it before poking me again. The drug hit like a wave and sent my tired brain into another orgasmic lift into the sky.
“We’ll need to restrain her until she comes down. Marcus, come help me.”
I was gone, the world left behind and the one that replaced it was darkness.
Four
A Death Dream
A tan concrete ceiling was above me, and as I sat up, I found an entire tunnel. The concrete gave way to bricks on the sides and a trickle of water ran along a trough in the floor. It was cold, damp, and smelled of stale piss. I shivered as I stood and tried to get my bearings. On some level I knew that I was still in the clinic, but that information was hard to bring to the surface.
I walked forward, my shoes splashing in the water, and noticed that the dress was gone. I wore normal clothes: jeans, long sleeve shirt, and sneakers. This brought new questions, but a sound I never wanted to hear again scattered them.
A CES sewer rat was in the tunnel with me. The machine’s buzzing echoed like thunder and I took off running. It gained on me, but I didn’t dare look back. The tunnel branched off, and I took turns at random until I came to a green metal door. I slammed into it and forced it open. On the other side I leaned back against the door, trying to will air back into my lungs.
The room I’d broken into looked nothing like a sewer. I blinked several times as I moved away from the door and along the wood floor as quietly as I could. The hall opened to a small living room, a couch and chair sat in the middle with an old TV on a chest of drawers against the wall. Clothes were scattered about intermixed with old toys and pieces of colored paper. The TV threw flickering white light along the wall and the furniture. As I neared, I saw a little girl on the couch. She hugged her knees as her wide eyes stared at the static on the TV screen.
She had most of her face covered, but I didn’t need to see it to know who she was and it made everything more surreal. I moved to the couch and knelt in front of her. She looked up. Eyes I had seen every time I looked in the mirror stared back at me with tears welling. I reached out to touch her head, but as I did, she disappeared into a wisp of white smoke, leaving me kneeling in front of the couch.