by J P Carver
“It’s not Chris, I was through with that and had Crow dig into his accounts. He’s clean,” Merigold said.
“Plus,” Marcus stared and rubbed at the back of his head. “We’ve been busy making sure you don’t dead screen on us.”
“So we’re not where, then.”
“Jankiee and Crow are still digging, we might find something in Rentena’s system,” Merigold said.
“Well, that’s great, the person who tried to kill me gets to walk away and we know nothing more about the drug. Seems like I almost died for nothing.” I pulled off the pads. “Are we sure it isn’t Rentena, or did you guys not dig into that either?”
“I said to be nice,” Merigold said and narrowed her eyes.
“Like you’d be nice if someone tried to pull your plug and you haven’t found out who.”
“We’re not talking about me. Look, let’s get this wire thing sorted and then we can get back on to looking for the prick who tried to off you. Sound good?”
“No.”
“It’s happening anyway, love. Get comfy.” She patted my arm and then looked pointedly at Marcus. “You feel like getting your hands dirty? Sera said you were a great help during the transplant.”
“He helped?” I asked and stared at him while fighting a grin. “How the hell did I survive that?”
“Because I’m a man of many talents,” Marcus said as he stood and I snorted a laugh. “I’m no tech-head, Merigold, no surgeon either. I was there to hand tools.”
“Perfect, that’s what I’ll need here too. Besides, I’m sure you’re itching like I am to get another chance to peek under her shirt,” Merigold said and caught her tongue between her teeth with a grinned.
“You’re sick,” I said and pulled down on the shirt I wore. “Both of you need therapy.”
“I didn’t say anything, that was all her,” Marcus said as he took a step back.
“You were thinking it, I can tell a fellow perv when I see one,” Merigold said and her grin went wider. I felt my cheeks burn and Marcus just shook his head hard. Merigold had to be having the time of her life as she got a two for one with one remark. “Not that there is much to see I me—”
I chucked the first thing my hand found, and it turned out to be a small kidney shaped bowl. It hit Merigold on the side of the head, not that hard as I still didn’t have much strength. The movement sent a quiver of pain throughout my body.
Merigold rubbed at her head and gave a tiny laugh. “Okay, I deserved that, went a wee bit too far.”
“You’re a bitch,” I said, and she laughed again.
“We’re gonna have to work on you being nice. Now, let’s get this wire done. I’d offer you a bridge to play in, but can’t boot your neural, so under you go,” she said as she set out surgical items out on the little table beside where I laid. Marcus moved behind me and brought around a mask.
“It’s this or a shot, you pick,” he said to my glare. I frowned and tilted my head back. He placed the mask over my nose. “You won’t be under for long.”
“I better not wake up in your bed again,” I said and heard Merigold gasp.
“What have you two been up to? And before she’s healed? You dog, Marcus.”
“That’s not at all what—” But I lost his voice in a haze as I went under and the sense of time disappeared.
I woke in the early morning, terror of a dream I couldn’t remember following me. The room was black. My arm throbbed dully as I pushed myself up and looked around.
They put me back in Marcus’s bed. The drugs they used to put me under didn’t leave me groggy this time, but the posters all seemed to watch me, as if I was invading the space they owned.
My fingers played over the raised line on my arm and in the darkness I could just make it out. The line went up my wrist and under the t-shirt I wore.
There was a deep sense of loss in my gut as I continued to trail the scar. The wire was a part of me for years, and to be without it was disconcerting. I stayed there, missing it until having to piss made me think about something else.
With a bit of a struggle, I got up and was glad that my stomach didn’t hurt when moving. I made my way to the door and opened it, but looked back as the hall light turned on and pushed yellow light into the room.
Sitting at the desk, looking very uncomfortable, was Marcus. His head laid against the backrest and his mouth was open. The slightest snore escaped him with every breath. I smiled at the sight and then went to the bathroom.
When I came back he had shifted away from the light from the hall and pressed his back against the desk, his head lying against his shoulder. I sighed and nudged him.
He jumped with a gasp and a jerk of his whole body. His eyes darted around the room and I moved back a step to make sure he didn’t hit me with his flailing. “W—what? Ragan?” His eyes fell on me and he visibly relaxed. “What are you doing out of bed?”
“Had to pee. What are you doing sleeping here? You being a creep?”
He stretched, yawned, and then rubbed at his neck. He squinted as he turned in the chair to face me. “No, just wanted to make sure you came out okay.”
“So, you were being a creep.” I grinned as he went to protest. “I’m messing with you. I’m fine, Marcus. Really.”
“You look okay. How’s the arm feeling?”
I looked down again and felt the same feeling of loss as last time. “All right, a little pain still. I’m gonna miss the wire.”
“Sorry.”
I shrugged. “Nothing to do other than find out who did this to me.”
“We might have information on that. Crow said she found something.”
I started. “What was it?”
“Not sure,” he said as he stood and winced. He put a hand to his neck and looked toward the ceiling for a few seconds. “She’s coming by tomorrow morning to brief us, but she seemed pleased with herself on the link. For now, get some sleep.”
“So should you,” I said, and he nodded. “Where are you sleeping at?”
“Well, that desk chair has done unmeasurable damage so I think I’ll go for the couch if Merigold isn’t still hogging the entire thing.” He walked sluggishly toward the door, but I reached out and grabbed his arm.
I didn’t want to be alone in the room again. It felt like I’d been alone for weeks. Someone being around—Marcus being around — at least provided some comfort in a week that was everything but comfortable. He turned back at me, brow furrowed.
“Stay?” I asked and cleared my throat as the word came out in a squeaky croak. “I mean, if you want to… I’d like you stay.”
Confusion played along his face, but he nodded. “Sure, I can stay.” He went to go to the chair, and I tightened my hold on his arm. He cocked his head at me in, brows narrowed even more in question.
“You’ll look like a broken doll tomorrow if you sleep there,” I said and gave a small smile as his confusion mixed with hope and surprise. I dropped my hand to his and pulled him gently to the bed. I sat down and looked up to him, still enjoying the confusion that seemed to etch even deeper into his features. “So, you can sleep here. Next to me.”
“What do you…?”
“I don’t mean sleep-sleep with me, Merigold wouldn’t let you live if she found out we did that while I’m still healing, but…” I grabbed both his arms and pulled him to be eye level with me. “That might be on the table for another time, for now, I want someone here, someone I can trust.” I leaned in and pressed my lips to his and felt his entire body jolt. I fought back a laugh as I pulled away. “Jeeze, you act like you’ve never kissed a girl before—you have kissed a girl before, right?”
He stuttered for a moment. “Yeah, of course.”
“Oh no, don’t tell me I was your first. How old are you again?” I teased.
“You’re not, not by any measure, Doll,” he said and glared at me which made it even funnier.
“Good. So, what do you say?”
“Why?” he asked, his going lo
w as he stood.
It caught me off guard and I went to talk, but no words came for a moment. “W—why? Why what?”
He shrugged and licked his lips as he faced the window that looked out on to the backyard. Snow fell outside in a gentle pace of large flakes. I followed his gaze and waited. “I mean, why now? You’ve known I’ve been into you for months and it seemed clear that nothing would happen between us.”
“You’ve become less of a jackass,” I said and tried a smile, but he didn’t return it as he went to the window. I followed and leaned against the other side of the frame. The reflecting light on the snow colored us both in a bluish white. “I told you, I’m not good at this kind of stuff… I needed time.”
“Yeah, but this is a one-eighty from a few days ago where you hated my guts.”
I shook my head. “I never hated your guts, Marcus. In fact, it scared me how close I was getting to you. When you fell into that font last month and didn’t wake right away, I thought you died. Something broke in me while I waited for you to wake up. It scared me that I cared that much about someone other than Nina.”
“Stuff like that is scary,” Marcus said, his eyes still watching the snow fall. I got his meaning.
“I’m a bitch, I know that, but I pushed back against you because you kept showing up. Every time you showed up just when I needed you. The whole CES thing in August and then the VR thing… all of what’s happen the last few days. You saved my life, you stuck even when I tried to shove you away.”
His jaw shifted. “You don’t owe me anything, so don’t string me along because you think you do.”
A pang of pain gripped my heart and my anger flared. I reached out and grabbed his chin so he had to look at me. “Is that what you think I’m like? That I tell people I’m into them as a thank you?”
“Into?”
“I fucking like you, Marcus, even if you are a dense, self-centered jackass who has the ego the size of Saturn. I’ve liked you since we worked together in October. If you’re not into me anymore, that’s cool, but don’t you cheapen what I’m doing here because it’s taking everything I have not to run away and forget any of this ever happened.”
He shifted his chin out of my hand. “Then tell me what you want. We dating? Friends with benefits?”
“You’re looking to get punched in the face,” I said and clenched my fists. Of course he would find something to bite back with. I had hurt him and he wasn’t going to let himself fall into some trap. It would take time for what I was saying to sink in. That didn’t excuse him for being a jerk. “I don’t know what we’re gonna be, but the start is right now. If you feel nothing for me then—”
He grabbed me, one hand at my neck, the other at my cheek and pulled me toward him. Our lips met, and I melted into the heat that came from him. Mouths open, we continued to kiss while our hands explored each other. I didn’t stop him when he grabbed my butt and sipped a hand under my shirt even though there was a lingering desire to do so. It had always been hard for me to be vulnerable with someone, but I trusted Marcus. He’d never hurt me, I told myself and sank against him.
We were both breathing heavily when we broke apart, and his eyes danced over me, looking for something. I smiled and placed a hand to his neck, stroked his cheek with my thumb. “That was much better than last time.”
“Told you,” he said, his voice deep and quiet. “This is a real thing, right? Not just a dream and you’re not drugged or anything, right?”
“A thing between us,” I said and hugged him, my ear against his chest. I could hear his heart thudding against his ribs and I squeezed him tighter. “For a few days we should keep this between us.”
“Just in case you decide that you hate me again, right?” I felt him chuckle, but it came forced.
"No, because I want to explore this thing with you without all the snark from the others." His body stiffened. "Exactly, it’s gonna be brutal."
“Oh, Christ… Merigold is gonna eat us alive when she finds out,” he said and I glared up to him facing the ceiling.
“The fact you’re worried about Merigold and not Crow tells me you have no idea what kind of teasing storm awaits us.”
He sighed heavily and pulled me with him as he dropped onto the bed. I landed beside him, giving a slight groan of pain at the sudden movement, but crawled along his side to see his face.
He glanced at me, a frown on his lips. “You’re sure about this.”
“It’s been five minutes. You really want me to doubt us now?” I grinned, and he rolled over and put a hand on my arm, his other slipped under my head.
“Sorry, it just feels like this is all a dream or I’ve been drugged.”
“Well, if it’s Honeykite, then I can understand. I had some crazy dreams when you guys were working on me.”
"Any about me?"
“No, though your name kept coming up,” I said and took an interest in the wall behind him. “They were strange, but they kind of made sense and cleared things up.”
“Like?”
“Like I should stop pushing away those around me who give a damn.” I moved forward and kissed him quickly. “Like you.”
“It took you almost dying for you to realize how awesome I am?”
I squinted at him, holding back a laugh. “Yeah, don’t put it that way again. It sounds terrible.”
“I know, I thought you were smart.”
I swatted his shoulder as he moved over top of me, his face above mine. The smile he had faded slightly as he looked down at me and I couldn't help but think he had some very pretty eyes.
“Hey, remember that I’m still recovering. No hurting the patient, Marcus.”
“I have no plans to do that.” He dropped and caught my lips with his. His fingers combed through my hair as the kiss deepened and I shifted my body to press against his.
It felt strange to be this close to someone after so many years of being alone. His touch was like fire on my skin, as if every fiber desired to feel him, to feel that pressure and closeness of another human. He gave a small groan as my hands traced down his side.
He broke off and looked at me with a gaze I had never seen from him, but it sparked something in my core and made my breathing hitch. I held his gaze, and he looked away and pushed himself from me.
“Marcus?” I asked, worry gripping me.
“Best we stop,” he said and picked up my legs and turned me so I laid length wise on the bed.
“Can’t control yourself?” I offered, and he shrugged.
“I’m far more worried about you.” He pulled the blankets from under me and then covered me with them. “I’ll take the floor.”
I reached out and grabbed his arm again. “No, you won’t. Stay here with me, please?”
“Doll…”
“Hey, I almost died like… twice this week. I get a request.”
He sighed and laid down beside me on top of the covers. I rolled on my side and just stared at him, earning another sigh as he slipped under the covers. “Good boy.”
“Woof.”
“Dork.” I turned around and faced the wall and shifted back against him. I felt his breath brush against my hair.
“Something wrong?”
His hands came around me, strong and rough. I had never noticed that about them before, and as his fingers curled gently against my stomach and his other arm went under my head, I felt safe for the first time in months. I wiggled my butt back against him and felt him respond which made me to laugh.
“You might not make it through the night,” I said.
“That’s why I wanted to take the floor. I knew you’d do this, even though you’re the one that said we couldn’t do any of that.”
“Any of what?” Another wiggle.
“Ragan…” There was a hint of danger in his voice that just made it even more fun to shift back against him again.
“What happened to calling me Doll? We on a first name basis now?”
“You started it,” he said. “Onl
y fair.”
“I guess. Go to sleep.” I wiggled again and this time he moved and grabbed my hips, his fingers digging in to stop me. I pouted and gave a small whine. “Hey…”
“We’re going to sleep,” he said. “You’re so damn evil, though.”
“It’s most of the fun of being around me.”
“I’m not sure if I’m gonna be able to survive your fun.”
“I’m sure you’ll manage. Night, Marcus.”
“Goodnight,” he said. I closed my eyes and fell into the deepest sleep I could remember.
Six
Morning After
A snicker sounded from somewhere in the room. Even in my sleepy state I knew who it belonged to and the last thing I wanted to do was open my eyes and make it real.
The snicker became stifled laughter and it wouldn’t be long before it was full on laughter and woke Marcus. I turned some, trying my best to untangle myself from Marcus, and sat up to face the little devil bird that sat at the desk.
“Good morning, Raggy,” Nina said, her eyes shining and dancing with humor. “Sleep well?”
I yawned and stretched while glancing at Marcus. He was still out, his hair a mess and his lips were curved in the widest smile. “Yup, really well. You’re here early.”
"Yeah, I thought I had good news, but you got me beat." She canted her head. "Was it the best idea while we you’re still recovering?"
“We made out a little, nothing more.”
“Uh-huh, I bet. I get details right? Like when you hit you head hard enough to give you memory loss? Or how he brainwashed you?”
“What?” I pushed the covers away and crawled over Marcus to get out of the bed. “What do you mean? He didn’t do anything to me.”
“You hated him and now you’re in the same bed. Something had to happen.”
“Why does everyone think I hated Marcus?”
She looked taken aback for a second and then grinned. “Because that’s all you kept saying and you’ve been calling him a jackass as long as you’ve known him.” She clapped her hands and gave a laugh that an evil villain would have been proud of. “I knew it! I totally knew you had a thing for him. I could tell when you woke up from VR, it scared you when he didn't wake up right away. Oh man, Merigold and Ziller are gonna be pissed.”