by David Burke
Now though, to hear that there was more to this than just fighting was oddly off-putting. Many guys may have dreamed about being used sexually, but that wasn’t Kyle’s way. He liked being in control too much. For him, the idea of someone else deciding who he would sleep with was repugnant. Not to mention they might stick him with older women, and cougars had never been his thing, even though he knew that many young ball players dove into that pool headfirst. All in all, it made the silly costumes that they were required to wear while fighting make more sense.
“I can see that you are shocked by some of what I said. I’m sorry if it is off-putting to you. I kinda assumed the male slaves didn’t mind it, but I realize, looking at your face, that that was a faulty assumption on my part. I guess it is really a vile practice to force someone, regardless of their gender. Just one of the problems with slavery, but the power of Thena’s empire is built upon it, so it won’t be changing anytime soon,” Selma said as she took the book back from him.
Kyle thought to himself that he might just go about changing that, but then decided that he already had enough on his plate for now. Fixing social injustice was a first world problem. Before that, he needed to learn to tap into his powers and make sure that one of the other gods wasn’t going to come and lay a big smack down on him.
Selma signaled for the guards to take him back to his cell and Kyle followed them aimlessly while thinking through the situation.
Hilde laughed in his mind and said, “Finally.”
“Finally, what?” Kyle asked back.
He heard more of her rich, sultry laughter in his head. Kyle couldn’t help it. Her laughter sent a shiver down his spine in all the right ways.
“You said the other gods. Well actually, you thought it. I can’t always read your thoughts, even stuck in here, but sometimes they resonate more clearly, like that one did,” Hilde replied as she finished laughing.
“So, what of it?”
“That way of thinking implies that you are a god. So maybe, just maybe, you are starting to believe me. Not that I think you are ready yet, but you are moving forward. Even Krig would have been proud of the progress you displayed with your attack on the training dummies,” Hilde said.
Kyle wasn’t sure if she was genuinely praising him or was mocking him. It was one of those things about a woman. They always seem to be able to keep a guy on his toes, second guessing everything. “Why fight it? Either this is the longest, weirdest dream of my life, or something bizarre is happening. I can feel other… not memories, but skills lying dormant inside me. I know there is power inside of me, I just can’t seem to grasp it, at least not very often.”
As he climbed down the ladder into his cell, she said, “Maybe we should do something about that. You were utilizing essence today. Not to empower your strikes, but to pull them short. It was a creative use of your power, even if you were only doing it instinctively.
“So far, you have only been able to access your power through great emotional turmoil or on an instinctive basis. Since you created a window through the void, I have felt like you have both been more interested in your power and more scared of it. That is wise. It makes me respect you all that much more. Your power is frightening, and the void is downright terrifying.
“However, as you use your power instinctively, you are gaining essence at a faster rate. Most of it is just raw essence, but your body is already holding far more of it than any mortal I have ever met could hold. Just a bit more and you will be able to summon me.”
Kyle sat on the bed and changed the subject. “Do you think that Nyda will come back?”
“I doubt they will send her to you, given that you have demonstrated you no longer need tutoring. I know you have feelings for her, which alone proves to me that while you may be the reincarnation of Krig, you are not Krig. He never felt a tender feeling for anyone. Respect for those who tried their best, contempt for the weak who refused to improve, and pride for his followers who excelled. Those were the limits of his sentiments, as far as I could tell in my time with him.
“I don’t know yet if these emotions you have are going to be a good thing or a hindrance, but they are there either way. For now, though, the fact that Nyda isn’t coming tonight doesn’t have to be an entirely bad thing,” Hilde said.
For just a moment, he wondered if there was a bit of jealousy in her tone. But then he scoffed at himself. He had dated models, a singer, and a host of other pretty women, especially if you counted the casual hook ups. None of them compared to the glimpse he had of Hilde. Nyda was gorgeous in a delicate, must be protected sorta way. Hilde was just burning hot, literally.
Surely women like that weren’t jealous. Besides which, half the time she was annoyed with him and treated him like he was a bumbling fool incapable of completing the most basic of tasks. And she was… well, a freaking angel.
“Maybe, but I miss her company. It is nice to have someone to talk to, even if I feel like I’m saying the wrong thing half the time,” Kyle said.
“I’m not sure you could say the wrong thing with Nyda and, trust me, I know, ‘cause you are always sticking your foot in your mouth when talking to me. But do you really want to talk about women, or would you rather spend the time learning how to use essence?
“I know you have wanted to focus on gaining control of your new body and mastering physical combat. Well, you have made great strides in that direction, so maybe we could spend some time now focusing on your true source of power,” Hilde said.
Her words had him feeling like he had whiplash as he couldn’t decide exactly what her angle was. It didn’t help that he could only hear her voice and not actually look at her for non-verbal cues about what she meant. “Okay, we can focus on this. I will spend all night trying to satisfy you with my efforts to master essence.” The double entendre was juvenile but that didn’t make it any less funny to him.
There was a pause before Hilde answered and he wondered for a moment if he had offended her. He heard her mumble something like, “If only.” But when he asked her to repeat herself, she said, “Never mind. We need to get down to work on this. Just don’t make promises you aren’t willing to keep.”
After that, Kyle sat down on the floor, cross-legged. He didn’t know that the position was going to help at all, but it seemed like the type of thing some mystic would do on Earth, and try as he might, it was hard for him to view this differently.
Hilde guided him through some breathing exercises but stressed repeatedly that none of these things were actually necessary. It was simply a way for him to adapt to this. For the next four hours, she tried to get him to feel the energy around him.
They tried multiple techniques for envisioning the core of his being where essence was stored. At first, she insisted that he just try to focus on a cloak-like mantle that would fall over him.
“Each of the gods only has one type of essence. Remember that you should be able to feel the raw essence and its potential for use in war. It should settle on you. If you just relax, you should gain access to your mantle,” Hilde instructed.
Instead of relaxing though, Kyle became more tense and frustrated as he failed to grasp what she was trying to get him to do. It was all like a bunch of new age mumbo jumbo that some of the trainers spouted. The difference here, was that he knew there was something to it, but he couldn’t seem to tap into it consciously.
Eventually, Hilde grew frustrated too and they talked about their lives a bit. It was odd the way she described Krig repeatedly. Kyle felt like she was describing an ex-boyfriend who was both the love of her life and the guy who had made her feel like she was always fat. Krig sounded like a real piece of work. No one was ever good enough.
The thing was, he had to question if that was true about himself, too. Many of the women he had dated had complained about the same thing with him. He didn’t ever suggest that any of them needed to watch what they ate, but his rigid control over his own diet made many of them uneasy. The sa
me for how closely he monitored his weight or the extreme amount of time that he put into working out.
It was eye opening in another way. More than anything, he resolved to not treat women like that in the future. Here he was with a new chance, and while he couldn’t stop wanting to excel, he could make a priority of the people in his life. He already had feelings for both Nyda and Hilde, if he was honest with himself, and he wanted to see where that went. Even if he had never met one of the two in person.
Once she seemed to have run out of ideas, Kyle said, “How does a mortal learn to do this?”
“Not sure why that applies,” Hilde scoffed.
“Just humor me here. I know you are the expert and I’m not supposing any differently. But you did admit that I am something of a unique situation. So maybe, if I learn to do this like a mortal, it will help me satisfy that part of myself and I will be able to gain access to more of the other part.”
“You mean the divine part?” Hilde queried.
“Yeah, but still feels funny saying that about myself. For the last thirty years, I was just a human. That was all I knew, and I certainly had no idea that Verden or places like it were real,” Kyle said.
“From what I saw of your memories of Earth, your planet had a very high impression of itself for a people who can’t even touch the most basic amounts of essence,” Hilde said.
Kyle smiled at that. “Well, we do have a history of believing that we were the center of the universe. But cut us a break, we are the only intelligent species on our planet.”
“Yeah, if that is what you want to call intelligence,” Hilde harrumphed. Then said, “Fine, we will try your idea. It can’t go any worse than what we have been trying so far.”
Kyle stood up and stretched his legs. “Besides, this sitting on the ground thing sucks. My legs feel all tight now.” Then he began to stretch out.
Hilde laughed. “Normally human mages do assume a similar position, but I think you are right—that likely won’t work for you. So let’s try this while you are stretching. Exercise is an intuitive activity for you, so maybe that will assist you getting a feel for this.”
Kyle didn’t verbally reply, just merely nodded. He knew by now that Hilde was aware of his surroundings and most especially the condition of his body or the actions he took with it.
“Elven sorcerers have a different way of doing this, but I don’t know if that will help you. So as requested, I will teach you the way the humans teach their mages. Be forewarned, though; it usually takes them months to get a grasp of it at all.
“You need to begin by visualizing a wheel. The center and the outer ring are one solid piece. Extending from that center to the ring are as many as eight spokes. Each of those spokes have the potential to contain essence of one of the eight types.
“Once you can visualize it, you have to make it real. Now this isn’t just imagining something. It is awakening the image of your core, which is a spiritual reality, and trying to gain a conscious awareness of it. Some wizards will have only two spokes while others will have up to six. I have never heard of a mortal with more than six types of essence, and most have only two to four.”
Kyle started doing some jumping jacks and said, “Shh… I got the idea. Now let me try it.”
He felt his body as it went through the motions of the exercise. It was natural and felt right. Then he tried to look inside himself. He had to remind himself of all the odd things that had been going on since that fateful night in the parking deck. It was too much to believe, but it had been happening to him. There was no doubt about that.
Thoughts about what Selma had told him about the fate of slaves came unbidden to his mind. There was the motivation that he needed. He didn’t want to be anyone’s plaything, and in order to avoid that, he needed to be free of these manacles. Then a secondary motivation popped into his head. This one brought with it a rush of emotion.
He considered what would happen to Nyda. She was so beautiful, but delicate and shy. The thought of some gladiator pawing at her because she was a slave sent for his pleasure was enough to make him lose it. He felt a surge of power within himself. And then peered deep inside.
Much to his shock, he was greeted by an image. It was the wheel, just like Hilde had described. It seemed so real. It was solid but yet it wasn’t. Real, but still in his head. He didn’t know how to be sure of anything, but he knew what he saw.
There it was: a massive wheel, far larger than a wagon wheel. The wheel and center were all one piece just as she had told him. Extending out from that center, there were six spokes, although one was much larger than the others. He certainly wouldn’t have imagined such a lopsided wheel, which only served to reinforce that this visualization was real, versus just a creation of his mind.
Of the other five spokes, two were medium-sized, and three more were slender, little more than rods. As he paid particular attention to all the details, he could see runes floating along each of the spokes. The large one seemed to have a red mist filling it while the others were all empty. There were also two tiny threads that extended out from the center, but he wasn’t sure what to make of those.
Kyle described what he saw to Hilde who simply said, “Just give me access to your core. Let me look for myself.”
A twinge of doubt crossed his mind. Giving someone access to his core seemed like a risky thing. Hilde hadn’t ever tried to hurt him or anything. Held back information, sure, but not hurt him. She might mock him, but was that enough reason to not trust the voice inside his head? That thought made him smile, of course.
“What happens if I give you access to my core?” Kyle asked slowly.
“Oh… you don’t trust me. I get it. You aren’t filled with nearly limitless power and able to resist me if I do something to you. Then let me be clear. Giving another being access to your core is exceptionally dangerous.
“I won’t lie or try to deceive you about this. If you are strong enough, that danger is mitigated, but at the moment my core is actually stronger than yours, so you could be made into my pawn. Except that our situation is different. I am already inside your mantle. My soul is bound to yours or whatever it is that a deity has,” Hilde said.
“Don’t you mean that you are bound to Krig? He and I may be similar, but I am not him and, to be blunt, I don’t intend to become him,” Kyle retorted.
A moment of silence followed. “Very well, then. I, Qua’ardet Flammaurorae, do swear upon my eternal soul to serve Kyle Hudson with absolute devotion under the bond between my people and Krig. Even should my one hundred years of servitude pass, I swear of my own volition to be faithful to Kyle Hudson until he either dies or obtains his full divinity.
“My life before his. My strength as his tool. My flame as his heat. My mind as his answer. My body as his balm.”
Kyle felt something settle over him. For a moment, he could see raw essence forming links around him and was afraid that he was being bound but then saw that the chains they formed extended deep into him, into that part where he had seen Hilde before. Their free end rested in his hand and he could feel the control was his.
He could sense Hilde much more clearly now. He knew without fully understanding that she had irrevocably bound herself to him under the terms of her oath. Her power and immortal soul fueled the bond and neither could exist if she broke the oath. It was an amazing act of servitude and trust, one which Kyle didn’t feel truly worthy of.
“Why?” was all that he could ask.
“My fate is already bound to yours, but now you never need doubt me. I am playful at times; it is my nature as a daughter of the flame. But that doesn’t mean I won’t burn brightest for you. And just so you know, that oath is more than I have ever given, even to Krig. You will likely be as he was and never avail yourself of some of it, but a celestial can always hope,” Hilde replied.
Kyle again basked in the feeling of the connection as well as recognizing that she spoke the truth. Her oath somehow gave hi
m absolute surety about her words. “You may access my core.”
No sooner had he said the words than he felt the wheel he visualized was being turned and poked at. She wasn’t speaking to him, but he kept hearing her mumbling to herself, “No. It isn’t possible. How can this be?”
Eventually, once he felt her focus leave his core, she said, “This is unprecedented. You live hundreds of years and you assume that you have seen most of what Verden and the planes have to offer. But no. You, Kyle Hudson—or Krig, whoever you are—you are a unique wonder. You are mortal in that I can tell you have a core like a normal human, other than that you appear to have some connection to all eight types of mana, even if two of them are only thread thin.”
“What can I say, I’m one of a kind,” Kyle joked. Bragging was something of a shield for any situation that he didn’t feel comfortable in. So far it had worked out, because in his life on Earth his body had always been able to deliver on what his mouth promised.
“Okay, now if you were a human, we would have you go to an area where there was a high concentration of raw essence or, even better, refined essence. That would make it easier for you to draw it in. The truth is that essence is everywhere, it just requires more skill to absorb it from low density areas,” Hilde said.
“So, what’s the plan then? Since my skill level in essence absorption is likely set at zero now,” Kyle asked.
Hilde laughed. “You are just gonna have to step up and prove that you are more than a man. The walls here are filled with Earth Essence. They were reinforced by a mage at some point in the past, so maybe you should try absorbing that first.”
“What, like put my hand on the wall and think earthy thoughts?” Kyle asked.