And that both excites and scares me,
Shaking my head, I save my file and shut down my computer.
It’s been a week since I fell over and rolled my ankle, and if it wasn’t bad enough, I’m now lusting after the local vet with him popping up in my thoughts day and night.
Now that he insists, we are friends, I have seen him nearly every day with numerous calls and texts during the days. He now has the leading role in my life.
He’s everywhere; in every dream, daydream, and now he’s made his way into my current work in progress.
He’s inserted himself into my life like it’s where he belongs.
There’s a tiny part that enjoys the attention and the company, but it’s deep down that I feel that.
It’s an automatic knee-jerk reaction to say he’s annoying, but if I’m honest, he’s growing on me.
He’s like a stray cat that you’ve fed once then continues to come back daily.
He even kept me fed, stocking my cupboards with food last week when I had to finish a deadline. When it gets close to a deadline, eating and showering is not a priority. But Noah happily watched TV with Max while I wrote until I was falling asleep. He then insisted that I should have a quick shower before bed so I’d sleep better. Even offered to help me if I was incapable of cleaning myself. I was almost tempted one of the nights. Deadlines kill me, but I love them. Getting my story out and sharing them with my readers is so rewarding.
But if I’m honest with myself, that kiss we shared has been getting a lot of replay in my mind. I’m not sure why we haven’t tried that again. Even though Noah touches me every chance he gets, it’s all in passing with no heat.
Now that my book is complete, I usually slow things down for a week or so. Maybe I could give Noah more time. Could we really see if this could be something?
Maybe I should start with a thank you meal.
Going to the kitchen, I pull down a few cookbooks, flicking through the pages to see what looks good. Deep in thought about which recipes I can and can’t make, my phone rings, startling me.
“Hello, Tessa,” I hear Noah’s gruff voice say.
“Hello, I was just thinking about you,” I say before I can stop myself.
“I like the thought of that. Care to share what you were thinking? Should I lock my office?”
Oh shit.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I blurt out.
“Way to shoot a man down.” His laugh echoes down the phone.
“What I meant to say,” I continue, ignoring his reply even though I get butterflies with the hope that he does like me like that. “Is that I want to cook you dinner tonight if you’re up to it? I’m just going through some recipes now. How does pasta alfredo sound?”
“Mmmm, sounds great. What time do you want me there?”
Looking at the clock above the sliding doors, I see it’s only one, so I have plenty of time to shower and then prepare dinner. “How about six?”
“Six is great. Sam, the new vet, finally started, so the load isn’t as heavy as it has been. Do you need anything at the store on my way over?”
“No, the food fairies seemed to have filled the cupboards and fridge, so I have everything I need here. But thanks for offering,” I joke.
“You’re not just pretty you’re funny too. I have to go as my next appointment is here, but I’ll grab some wine on my way.” I hear him say hello to someone as he hangs up, leaving me staring at the phone.
I’m starting to think he needs to visit an optometrist; his eyesight is clearly failing him.
Maybe I should mention it to him tonight.
Then again if he does get his eyes checked, one look at me will have him running, and I’m not ready to have him out of my life just yet.
I’ve just popped the home-made bread in the oven when I hear Noah’s car arrive.
Max is already at the door waiting, and he nearly knocks Noah over as I swing the door open to greet him. He quickly passes me the bottle of wine, giving Max the attention he wants. He has come to love having Noah over, often choosing to sleep near him instead of with me on my side of the couch.
“Hello,” Noah says from behind me in the kitchen as I place the bottle down near the glasses I took down earlier. I didn’t hear him follow me in.
“Hi,” I say almost shyly, turning around. I don’t know why I feel like this; it almost feels like a first date, which is crazy.
We have gotten to know each other pretty well over the past couple of weeks, so this should feel the same.
But it doesn’t.
I don’t know if it’s because I’ve cooked dinner or because I dressed up.
For him.
Well, for me too. I like the way he looks at me, the way he makes me feel.
Plus, it was nice to get all dolled up again.
I used to love nothing more than getting ready to go out; it’s nice to feel like me again.
“How come Max is the only one throwing himself at me? Do I not scrub up nice?” he asks, a frown appearing before he grins at me, opening his arms wide. That’s when I pause to check him out and see that he has also taken the time to dress up. He usually wears comfy jeans and a T-shirt, nothing too dressy as he works with animals. But tonight, his blond curls are slightly wet, and he wears a long-sleeved fitted white top that tapers at the waist, black jeans, and black dress shoes. And the aftershave mixed with his natural scent is delicious, almost good enough to eat. I bite my lip as I’m thrust into his arms, my head resting on his firm chest.
“You keep looking at me like that, and we won’t be eating dinner tonight,” he whispers in my ear. I turn my forehead slightly now leaning against his chest.
“Oh god,” I whisper, embarrassed I was so openly ogling him.
“If it makes you feel better, I’m pretty sure every thought you were just thinking I was very much thinking about you too.” He squeezes me before pulling me back slightly so he can see my face. “You, Tessa, are one sexy woman.” He leans forward and slowly touches his lips to mine.
He steps back as I close my eyes and touch my lips, wanting his lips on me again. It may have only been a peck, but it was enough to stir up a lot of want from me. Something I never thought would happen again.
“Here you go,” I hear, and I open my eyes to see Noah has served us wine.
He continues, “I’ve been waiting for you to get on the same page as me. And that,” he nods to my hand still on my lip as I take the glass he is offering, “makes me think you may be.” He takes a sip as the oven timer goes off, saving me from making a fool of myself by doing something stupid like saying no.
Chapter Six
NOAH
When Tessa opens the door, my jaw drops at how beautiful she looks. She has taken the time to dress up and enhance her natural beauty. I barely have time to take it all in before Max comes charging at me, making me nearly lose my balance. When I follow her into the kitchen, I take her all in. She is wearing skin-tight jeans, a fitted white jumper with red love hearts on it, a red scarf hiding her scar, and matching red heels. She has put makeup on too, her lips shining with bright red. We have come a long way with her facial scars. She finally allows me to see her with her hair pulled back.
If I wasn’t getting hard already, I sure would be with the way she’s looking at me. I’m ready to take her right here and now.
If today is anything to go by with the way she has put as much effort in, I’d say we are now on the same page, and she wants to see where this can go. I couldn’t not take her in my arms, needing to feel her. Since her ankle has been better, I’ve missed having her in my arms.
Tessa reaches for the oven mitts to take out the bread and while I should probably offer to help, I can’t. She bends over, giving me a perfect view of her ripe, firm ass. What I wouldn’t do to …
She stands up, turning to face me, noticing where I was so obviously looking.
“Ready to eat?” she asks, her cheeks going bright red when I raise my eyebrow.
She laughs, and it’s music to my ears.
“Food, Noah, that is why you’re here, isn’t it?” she asks, and I put my hand on my chin and pretend to think.
She walks past me, huffing.
“I’m joking. Of course, that’s why I’m here. But spending time with you is a close second. And by spending time, I mean―”
“I know what you mean,” she whispers as she places the bread on the table.
You idiot, don’t push her so fast.
“I’m sorry, Tessa, dinner smells great. What can I do to help?”
“You can take a seat. I’ve got it.” I do as I’m told as she places the pasta and salad on the table with the bread.
Tessa and I plate up our food. I take a bite and moan, “Mmm mmmm. Oh god, Tessa, this is sooo good.” I shovel more in my mouth and see her smile proudly as she takes a sip of her wine.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve cooked for anyone.”
“I hope you know I’m going to be here all the time now that I know how good you cook.”
“So, you don’t cook?” she asks, digging into her own plate.
“I do, but like you are, cooking for one isn’t fun. I get home late a lot, so I tend to grab something at Jake’s Bar & Grill as it’s close to the office.”
We finish dinner with more small talk and me loading my plate up a second time. And those rolls. She made them from scratch, and I just couldn’t get enough. She is a great cook.
Tessa stands up to clear the table, and I get up to help her. I kick her out of the kitchen when she tries to clean up. She cooked for me, so the least I can do is clean the dishes. I send her into the lounge with a topped-up glass of wine.
When I finish, I let Max out while I clean down the benches. I see that Tessa has a frosted chocolate cake sitting in the corner of the counter.
Plating some up for both of us, I grab the bottle of wine and make my way to the lounge.
I find Tessa sitting on the floor leaning back against the couch. She’s leaning on the coffee table, reading a book. The open fire glows around the room, the sound of rain outside and the crinkling of the fire the only sounds to be heard.
She looks up when she sees me and smiles.
I walk forward placing the cakes down, taking the wine bottle from under my arm.
“Thank you. I hope you like chocolate, I wasn’t sure what you liked.”
“I like chocolate just fine, Tessa. I’ll go let Max in. Do you need anything else from the kitchen?”
She says no as I go to the back door and see that it has started snowing quite heavily.
Max shakes himself as he walks in, going straight to lay down in front of the fire.
“Is it snowing out there?” Tessa asks as I take a seat next to her on the floor, stretching my legs out under the coffee table.
“Yeah, it’s coming down quite heavily. I may need to crash here tonight if it doesn’t stop.”
“Of course,” she says, squeezing my leg. “Don’t drive in it, it’s not safe.”
“So,” I say, needing a distraction from her hand on my thigh. “Tell me how Rose Drake came to life.” I fork a piece of cake into my mouth.
She turns to look at me. “You really want to know?”
“Yes, I want to know everything about you, Tessa.” I push a stray curl off her face, her eyes going wide as she swallows hard. I let my fingers lightly brush over her scar. “Everything. But that can wait until we have more wine in us. So, how did you come up with the name Rose Drake?” I change the subject, but she stares at me for a long minute before her face lights up and she starts talking about her love of writing stemming from childhood.
“I was watching the TV show Pretty Little Liars one night, and Rose stood out. I always thought if I were to publish one day, I would use that name, and ten years later using a pen name was one of the best decisions I made. Especially after this happened.” She brings her hand up to her scar with a wistful look on her face. “I didn’t want anyone seeing me. Having the pen name allows me to have an online instead of in-person presence.”
She takes a big gulp of wine, knowing where this conversation is heading. I want her to talk to me about it, not because I need to know, but because I believe she’s using it as a wall between us to stop me from getting in. Once she talks it out, which I’m not sure she ever has with anyone, then hopefully she can let me in fully. These past couple of weeks have been some of the best of my life. I want her in my life, and I’m hoping that after tonight she will know that and that she will want me too.
I pull her into my arms, her head resting on my chest. Max, sensing the tension, comes over, placing his head on her lap as she starts mindlessly patting him.
“Tessa, if you don’t want to talk about what happened, you don’t have to.” I rub her arm, hoping she feels safe enough to open up., “But I also know that whatever happened scarred you inside and out and that’s stopped you from letting anyone in. But, Tessa, you have to know by now, I want in. After tonight, we don’t have to ever speak about it again, but I think it would be good for you to let it all out. Let that demon loose, so to speak.”
I don’t know how long we sit there, Tessa in my arms, Max in her lap, with the fire crackling in the background. Tessa takes a few deep breaths before she starts speaking softly.
“Nick was our next-door neighbor growing up. Our parents were friends, so that meant we were too. He was an only child, too, and he was two years older than me, but we enjoyed spending time together.” She takes another breath but pulls out of my arms, so she’s facing me, but her gaze drops so she’s looking at Max instead of me. I let it be, knowing she needs the distance for now.
“As we grew up, Nick was like a brother to me, always protective, but as we got to middle school he became almost obsessive. Everyone said how cute it was that he was crushing on me and didn’t like other guys talking to me. And I believed them.” A tear escapes her face, and I go to wipe it away, but she stops me. “Let me get this out,” she whispers as she takes some more deep breaths followed by some more wine. I want to wrap her in my arms and stop her. But she needs to get this out, and I don’t think she could stop now if she wanted to.
“By the time we were seniors, we began dating. He was so sweet; a real gentleman. After dating for two years, when he proposed, I said yes.
“Nick made us move from Florida to New York. I was so swept up in the romance of it that I didn’t realize that was his way of putting some distance between me and my family. He knew my mum had an insane fear of flying and my dad would never leave her. Hence, we had to be the ones to come back for visits. But Nick always had excuses that kept us from coming back.” Her eyes take on a glassy look as she continues, “The abuse started on the honeymoon. Just small and verbal to start with, and I wrote it off as nothing. He hit me once in our room but apologized profusely, and then he was back to treating me like a princess, so I believed him. I should have seen that as a sign and left.” She laughs. “But there was no leaving Nick.” She frowns, sniffling, and I take one of her hands in mine, squeezing it before rubbing circles with my thumb on our joined hand.
“I had tried to leave a few times, but that never ended well. He would strike me, and I ended up in hospital a few times, but he was a great actor and the doctors believed that I was a very clumsy person. I became a shell of the person I once was, and the times he allowed me to call my parents, he was always in the room, threatening me not to say a word. I thought I’d bide my time and not try to leave for a while, thought I’d focus on healing my body until I was strong enough. He had an upcoming trip. He was going to leave me locked in the house, but I had played the loving wife so that he didn’t think I would try to leave again. Stupid me thought I should leave the moment he left; I should have waited a day until I knew he was in Texas. I’d packed my bags weeks before, not wanting to take much as everything in the house was tarnished. But Nick had forgotten something and had driven back home. I hadn’t heard him come in, but he
had walked into the room as I was zipping up the case ready to leave. I don’t remember much from there; only the room going black as he was hitting and kicking me. All I could think of was to curl in a ball and protect my head.” She looks up at me slowly, and I can’t take the broken look in her eyes. I pull her to me, so her back is to my front. Max is still in her lap as if he was a small lap dog.
Wrapping my arms around her, I whisper, “Let it all out, honey.” She sniffles, silent tears leaving her face as she leans over to take a huge gulp of wine. But I never let her get far from me. When she gets comfortable in my arms again, she continues.
Chapter Seven
TESSA
I take a few breaths as I sink back into Noah's body. "I woke up tied to the bed; my arms, legs, he even had a rope around my neck. I'd been scared of Nick before, but the fear I had waking up like that was tenfold. I don't know how long I had been like that, but Nick was staring at me from a chair by the bed.
“Seeing the look on his face and the knife in his hand, I was petrified. I tried to scream, but he had tied something around my mouth. He then abused me with the knife, cutting my clothes and tracing my skin with the tip of the blade. That's how I got—" My hand goes to my face, thinking about that night as I shudder. "I passed out at the pain, between that and how tight the ropes were cutting into me." I close my eyes, tears silently dropping. “I don't know how many days I was like that, but to this day, I thank my lucky stars that my mother's intuition kicked in. It had been weeks since I had spoken to her; I hadn’t realized that Nick had actually changed my number. I was none the wiser as I didn't have any friends; he’d made sure of that. Mom decided she had to see me, that something was just not right, so they drove 17 hours to New York. Dad was smart enough to call the police as they were nearing my house, and when no one answered the door, the police kicked it in. I was out to it, so I don't recall any of this. My mom and dad told me when I came to at the hospital. The doctor said I would always have scars due to the repetitiveness of the cuts, but they would heal." I scoff. They may have visibly improved, but they will always be there.
Country Wishes Page 63