by Bet Milner
Jimmy was turning red with anger and shaking. It scared her to see this side of him and she regretted throwing the money in his face. "You are a selfish, ungrateful bitch! You think throwing a couple of hundred dollar bills my way is gonna smooth things over?"
Danni huffed and grabbed her own car keys. "You know what, I can't deal with this right now." She was about to leave but she needed to say something. "You just can't stand to think I can actually have any fun or any social life without you! I was having a great day until now. It's like every time I'm happy, you want to rip me to pieces. I'm sick of you dragging me down with you in your foul moods and blaming me for your insecurities. I try to stay positive and optimistic but you are impossible. Quit trying to control me. I'm going out to clear my head."
She opened the door and as she was heading out she heard him shout. "Yeah that's right Danni! Run off back to your lesbian friends and tell them how much of an asshole I am."
She slammed the door and ran off down the stairs. She was crying by the time she reached the bottom step and slumped down on it. She loved him so much but he was so cruel to her. She hardly ever went out anymore and she'd cut off so many friendships to make him feel secure. She'd tried her best to keep him happy and avoid any topics that would cause him any discomfort. It wasn't fair how he was behaving. She hadn't done anything wrong for a very long time and to keep throwing it back in her face whenever she went out or spent time with Reese wasn't healthy or productive. Her mind and heart were torn. Right now, she hated him so much and was about ready to leave for good but she was terrified of what that would mean.
Danni drove off to a park to gather her thoughts. She didn't want to go running off to Reese yet again with her problems and she knew exactly what she would say anyway. As much as she wanted to listen to her friend's advice, this was her relationship and nobody else knew the conflict she felt inside. He took care of her, he was usually good in bed. They shared interests with music being the biggest one. When they were on good form, there was a hopefulness in Danni's heart and she felt like she could settle with him forever. She liked making him happy but at some point, she had to ask herself if that was enough? The fact was, she felt incredibly guilty and in her mind, Jimmy had a point. She felt like she owed him something and she needed to stop fantasizing about things and start acting like an adult. She couldn't bear the thought of any harm coming to him and they had been good for so long until she messed things up.
Her bisexuality wasn't going away and she knew it never would. As much as she wanted to stay with him, she couldn't imagine going through the rest of her life without ever being with another woman. It had slowly gotten stronger over the past few years and she felt like she was constantly lying to him. She hadn´t cheated on him, apart from that one drunken kiss, but she felt guilt just from even thinking the way that she did. In her previous relationships, it had been different, more open. Jimmy was like a noose around her free-spirited neck sometimes and as much as she wanted to make it work, she knew deep down they weren´t compatible.
They had broken up so many times but somehow, he always managed to sweet talk her into coming back. They would spend a week or so apart and he'd call her and beg her to come back to him and tell her he was going to be less controlling. She never truly believed him and sometimes she could convince herself she needed him to keep her in check.
Today she felt differently. After the conversation she'd had with Julia at the bar and what had just happened on her social media, she was starting to gain back some of her confidence in her ability to be independent. Danni must have sat there for hours pondering her life and choices when she realized it was getting dark. Her phone buzzed.
Reese: Video is ready!
Danni smiled at the message and pulled herself up off the grass thankful for an excuse to go see the woman.
D: Awesome! On my way.
"Reese this is amazing! How did you do this so quickly?" Danni was so impressed by the editing skills of her friend.
"When I'm excited about something, I can actually get shit done! Come on! Let's get this uploaded and watch the love roll in!"
Danni logged into her account on Reese's desktop and let the brunette do her thing. She read the subtitle and laughed. "See I would never pimp myself out like that!"
"That's why you need me babe! I'm like the queen of marketing! Trust me, this is gonna get people talking."
Danni watched as the video completed and within a minute, it had been viewed over one hundred times. "That's crazy!"
"This time tomorrow, you won't know what hit you!" Reese scuttled off into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of Champagne and two flutes.
"Oh my God, you actually bought it!"
Reese popped the cork and whooped as the froth spilled out the end. She put it in her mouth after trying to fill the glasses. "No! Are you crazy? I don't have that kind of money! I swiped it from work!" She winked and cackled mischievously.
"Classy as always."
"Meh, classy is overrated."
The friends sipped their champagne and chatted animatedly about everything that had happened in the last two days. They joked and fantasized about what they would do if Danni did indeed become super rich and famous and how Reese could get involved.
"I'd be your PR lady! Or manager!"
"Yeah right! You can't even manage a bar without stealing something and it's your own place! You do realize you stole from yourself?"
Reese shrugged. "I'll get over it. What am I gonna do? Fire my ass?"
"Who exactly did you call in sick to?"
"I asked Dolores to cover me."
"Man you are the worst..." Danni cut off as her phone rang. She didn't recognize the number but answered it anyway.
"Hello?"
"Is this Danni Rose?"
"Yes it is."
"Hi Danni, I'm Bella Starr, A & R Manager at Starrdom Records. I got your number from a mutual contact, I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all. Hello!"
"Danni, we are extremely impressed with your music and believe you would fit in perfectly with our label. Could we arrange a sit down this week?"
"Uhm, sure. Yeah."
"Excellent. Mr. Starr will be pleased! I'll message you the details now. Where are you based?"
"Boston."
"Okay. If you can send me the following details I've just messaged you and we will get you a flight out in the next few days. Is that going to be an issue?"
"I, erm, nope! That sounds great!"
"Mr. Starr would also like to ask you not to disclose any of the details of his contract, especially if you are in any negotiations with other labels. I'm sure you understand."
"Of course."
"Excellent then! We shall see you tomorrow Danni. Thank you for your time!"
Danni hung up and Reese held the whole bottle of Champagne in front of her face. "Breathe, drink and then tell me everything!"
✽✽✽
Julia watched the video over and over again. She was mesmerized by Danni's talent and something about the way her fingers moved against the keys of the piano, so delicately and precisely, it made her tingle all over. She noticed how she wet her lips between breaths with just a flick of a tongue and felt the color rise to her cheeks. Could she be having one of those 'girl crushes' she'd heard some people refer to? She shook her head. Julia definitely wasn't gay. She hadn't even gone through an experimental phase in college or kissed a girl as a dare. She'd always found the idea quite sordid but yet, she wondered. What would she do if Danni did press those pretty little lips to her own? Would she push them away? Would she surrender?
Julia giggled to herself finding the whole train of thought quite amusing. She had obviously spent way too long on her own and her imagination was getting the better of her. Danni Rose had been the only person she'd had any personal contact with over the last month or so and she was obviously projecting some of her loneliness and longing to be touched onto their completely platonic friendship. Julia had alw
ays been intense with her friendships and she pushed the thought from her mind feeling slightly embarrassed for having even considered such a thing. She went to make herself a snack suddenly feeling a discomfort in her stomach.
After eating a simple sandwich, Julia decided to go and have a lie down. The traveling and alcohol must have caught up with her and she was exhausted. It was only seven in the evening but she was more than ready for bed. As soon as her head touched the pillow, she was overcome by sleep and surrendered to her dreams.
"I can't actually believe you are going to Starrdom! Isn't that the biggest label there is?" Reese squealed after Danni explained the phone call.
"Yeah. I don't understand how this is all happening so fast? I mean, yesterday morning, nobody could give two hoots about my music and today, fuck!" Danni looked worried.
"Why do you look so sad?"
"It just feels a bit like cheating, you know. Like, if Julia hadn't posted that story, nobody would actually give a crap about me."
Reese growled. "Danni, does it matter? Obviously people liked what they heard otherwise they wouldn't have bothered following you in the first place. Nobody gets a foot in the door these days without a little help. It's networking babe. Get used to it."
"I guess. I don't know. I'm nervous. I don't know anything about contracts. What if I sign away the rights to my music or something?"
Reese thought about it. "I don't think you could do that but it might be worth having a lawyer and or someone in the industry to help you out with it."
"Jimmy is the one who used to handle this stuff. Maybe I should get him involved."
"Danni! I could tell you'd been crying when you got here. I didn't say anything cos' I wanted to cheer you up but listen to me now. This has fuck all to do with him! He used to deal with this stuff because it meant he got to control everything, not because he knows what he's talking about! Did he lay into you for staying over?"
Danni nodded and the tears started again. "I'm just so tired Reese. I'm tired of fighting him and walking away only to get dragged back in again. I know I don't want to be with him and I haven't been happy for a long time but he makes me feel so guilty."
Reese pulled her tightly into her arms and comforted her. "I know babe, I know. You know you always have a place here whenever you need, hell, most of the stuff in this place is yours anyway!"
Danni giggled through the tears. "Sorry for crying. I know you must be sick of hearing this. I know I am."
Reese rubbed her back. "Yeah I am sick of it but only because I'm sick of you compromising who you are for that douche. Look what he does to you? He brings you to tears when you should be celebrating the best couple of days of your life! Do you seriously think you deserve someone like that in your life?"
"No."
"No you damn well don't! So dry those tears baby girl, because you are going to meet Mr. freakin' Starr of Starrdom Records and you do not want puffy red eye for that!"
Julia stirred gently when her phone pinged. She had been having the nicest dream about somebody finally taking care of her needs. In her dream, she was naked under white sheets and could feel the expert ministrations of someone's fingers and tongue exploring her body. She had reached down to pull the person back up as they brought her to climax so she could kiss them but on doing so, she realized it was Danni. She woke up with a start when the woman's face popped into her mind and noticed her breathing was ragged. She squeezed her thighs together and brought her knees up under her chin. She was mortified. How could she possibly have a wet dream at her age! And about a woman no less!
She bit her lip and tried to concentrate on any other image but the blonde as she snaked a hand down between her legs. She really was wet and if she didn't do something about it, she'd be awake for the rest of the night. She tried to imagine Brent as she touched herself. It didn't work. She tried to imagine Garth, but again it only distracted her. She tried to just focus on the sensations and she was almost there, almost at a release but the images from her dream kept flashing back. When she finally came, she felt dirty and ashamed knowing it was Danni's image that got her there.
She rolled onto her side in a fetal position and tried not to dwell on it too much. It was a one off fantasy and would not happen again. She needed to distract herself so she grabbed the forgotten phone off the bedside table and instantly flushed it as she read the message.
D: So I just got off the phone with Starrdom Records. Bella Starr said she got my number from a mutual contact. Would you know anything about that? X
Julia giggled.
J: May have met her once or twice... and? X
D: And... I'm going to have a meeting with her and Mr. Starr sometime-me this week. Thanks again! Looks like I'll be in your neck of the woods. Was wondering if you think I'll need a lawyer or anyone with me? X
J: As far as I know, it's just a meet and greet offer. You don't need to sign anything there and then but if you want, I can get someone to take a look at it.
D: Do you wanna come with? I mean, don´t feel obliged or anything. Just thought I´d ask.
Julia paused to think. It was a pretty big thing going in to your first meeting and she remembered how nervous she had been for hers. Danni could do with someone to hold her hand, figuratively speaking of course, and she was pretty good with contracts and the business side of the industry. She could recognize any big red flags in a heartbeat so it made sense that she should be the one to escort the woman.
J: I think I will, yes. What time is the meeting?
D: Thank you so much! 1 p.m. x
J: I'll meet you there just before. Please don't thank me again! It's my pleasure. X
Julia blushed crimson when she realized what she'd said.
"My pleasure indeed."
10
"Dude put your phone away. We're here." Reese berated as they pulled up outside Danni's apartment. She could have driven herself but Reese had insisted she was coming so that Jimmy couldn't talk her into staying or ruining any more of her day. She had a point. Danni didn't think he'd be quite as willing to lay into her with Reese there, so she'd reluctantly let her drive.
"So the plan is, we get in, grab as much of your shit as possible and get the fuck out!"
Danni chuckled. "That's not a plan! That's more like a hit and run!"
"Exactly! I can't believe you gave him your money you loser!"
Danni grimaced. She was literally going to New York without a cent and she wasn't looking forward to it. "I was angry and I needed to prove a point."
Reese huffed and slammed the door. "Yeah well you are proving your point by leaving the dick. Can I have his guitar that you bought him?"
Danni laughed ironically. "Ha ha. No! Reese behave yourself. I said I can handle this okay? Just, help me grab my stuff and only my stuff."
"Fine." Reese groaned. "But I'm taking your throw blanket too! It would look awesome on my couch."
Danni shook her head as she turned the key in the door. She walked in slowly and was relieved to see Jimmy wasn't there. She let out a sigh of relief. "He's not here. Come on, let's get this done."
The two women raced around the apartment grabbing as much of Danni's stuff as possible. She didn't have much really. Mostly clothes and instruments. Reese carried her electric guitar down to the car along with her pedal case and music stand. Danni got to work pulling all her clothes and shoes out of the closet and shoving them in garbage disposal bags. She only had a small overnight case so there was no way it would fit everything. She picked up her laptop and carried it under her arm along with the two bags of clothes and took one final look around the apartment. This had been her home for two years and it felt strange leaving it. She wasn't sure she was completely ready for all the changes but she was excited. Of course she was going to be sad, but it felt like the right thing to do. She had been longing for a fresh start for so long. After piling the stuff into Reese´s car, Danni went back up the steps as her heart pounded. As much as she didn´t want to deal with Jimmy, s
he had hoped she could break up with him face to face. She penned a page length note summarizing the reasons she was ending things and that he should give her some time before trying to contact her and she hoped they could at some point be friends. She wiped the tears from her eyes and left her home for good.
The women met outside by the car and Reese hugged her tight when she saw the blonde. "You're doing the right thing Danni. Trust me, your life is going to get much better without him weighing you down. You're a free spirit."
Danni smiled lightly. Her stomach was churning as they drove off back to Reese's place. It was a temporary solution but one that she hoped would be resolved within a few weeks.
"What time is the flight?"
"Nine."
"I'll drop you off. How are you getting to the office?" Reese asked trying to focus Danni's attention on something more positive than having just walked away from four years of her life.
"They're sending a car. I'm so nervous."
"You'll be fine. Just remember they are human too. You have nothing to be nervous about. You'll slay it!"
Danni was quiet for most of the short journey. It was so much to take in in such a short amount of time and she needed to focus on the most important thing right now, which was getting herself organized for tomorrow. They arrived back at Reese's and dumped everything in the living room. Danni started organizing her overnight bag and deciding what she should take. "Think I should take my guitars?" She asked Reese.
"Definitely your acoustic! If it all goes to shit you're gonna need it so you can busk your way back to Boston!"
"Very funny!" Danni rolled her eyes.
After they'd finished organizing her stuff, Reese pulled the sofa bed back out and made it up for her friend. "I'm gonna call it a night Dan. If we have to get up at seven, I need my beauty sleep."