Goddess of Forgetfulness

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  Suddenly, Távas had her by the throat and slammed her against the wall beside the door. Rage poured from his eyes. “How dare you.”

  His grip was firm and his hands rough, but with his strength, she suspected that if he’d wanted, he could’ve crushed her throat. Instead, his hand held her to the wall like a cage around her neck, allowing her to breathe.

  “Let go of me, Mr. Liath, or I will punish you with the most excruciating pain you’ve ever known.” One pulse of her light, and he’d be flying across the room.

  “There is no pain you can inflict upon me worse than what I already have.” His blue eyes flickered to coal-mine black.

  Ohmygods. It’s inside him, too. The same darkness that afflicted Louie afflicted Távas. It coated his heart and soul like tar.

  What is that? she wondered. And how come she hadn’t seen it until now?

  Then it dawned on her. Before the Maaskab’s downfall, they’d enslaved thousands of people, including some members of the gods’ human army known as the Uchben. They would capture their soldiers, inject their veins with black jade, and then flood them with dark energy. The jade would absorb the toxins and allow the Maaskab to control the humans to do their evil bidding.

  The only known cure was to take the humans to the realm of the gods, where the dark energy could be pushed out and replaced with divine light. This also meant the individual ended up an immortal demigod, a very, very big deal in their world. Only the most deserving of souls were given such an honor—the leaders of the Uchben, the most noble of humans, the strongest of the good vampires, and really, really good disco dancers (also known as Cimil’s Law). In the gods’ entire history, only one exception had been made, and that was Tommaso. He’d been one of their best soldiers but had been captured by the Maaskab. He’d committed heinous acts, including capturing one of her brothers’ mates for a ritualistic sacrifice. In the end, Tommaso was apprehended and clemency was granted because her brother’s mate forgave him and pleaded for his life. She argued that Tommaso had not been in control of his actions, though the gods saw it as a form of weakness. Had he been stronger, faster, smarter, he never would’ve ended up a Maaskab slave.

  Horseshit. At one time or another, every one of the fourteen gods had lost to the Maaskab. Hell, once the evil priests had even managed to capture nearly all of them in a cenote—the freshwater pools they used as portals between worlds. Nevertheless, the other gods showed little mercy for anyone touched by the Maaskab, which meant they would never grant demigod status to someone like Louie or Távas. Unless…

  She looked up at Távas. “Tell me, Mr. Liath, who you were before the priests got their hands on you and filled you with poison.”

  He dropped his hand. “I know not what you speak.”

  Bullshit. “It’s now or never. Tell me what you can because my days are numbered unless I find the one.”

  “What are you talking about?” he questioned, seemingly unconcerned.

  “The same darkness that consumes you will consume me unless I find a mate.”

  His eyes flickered with suspicion. “Sounds ominous.”

  Was this a game to him? “It is. And if you care for your son, even a little, you’ll answer my question.”

  “What exactly are you asking again?” he questioned. “Because I don’t know of any priests, and I’ve certainly not been poisoned by anyone.”

  Hmm…Her bullshit meter had not gone off. On the other hand, she could now see the malevolent energy veined through his aura, and when all was said and done, what she really needed to know was if she could make the case to save him—to make him a demigod. If he had once been a good, good person who ended up this way against his will, she might be able to convince her brethren to help him. Especially given her circumstances.

  She pushed away his hands and cleared her throat. “The question is: Why should someone like me love someone like you?”

  “What makes you think I wish to have your love or ever give mine?”

  “Godsdammit!” She shoved her hands at his chest, launching him to the floor, where he landed on his back. “This isn’t a game, Távas. Give me a reason to believe you are worth saving. Make me understand why you of all people have been chosen to wake beside me every day for the rest of my existence. There must’ve been something special, something worthy about you before this thing happened to you.”

  Sizzling with anger, he quickly got to his feet and charged at her, putting them nose to nose. “I am not a good man. I never have been. I never will be.”

  “But do you want to be? Give me something!”

  He stared into her eyes for a long moment before shaking his head no.

  Dammit. She couldn’t accept this defeat, and frankly something wasn’t adding up. He claimed to be rotten to the core, but no one was born evil. Okay, except maybe Cimil, though even she had some goodness in her. Even she fought to be better. When she’s not too busy torturing people and messing with the planet’s fate. In any case, it just didn’t make sense that the Universe would choose a bad man for her, one who was impossible to save because he had zero goodness inside him.

  No, there must be something redeeming about him. Perhaps what he needed was motivation to come clean. His son. He cares about his son.

  “Tell me, Távas,” she said, “why did you go looking for Louie?”

  He rubbed his scruffy chin, hesitating. “To kill him.”

  She jerked back her head. “What?”

  “After I learned I had a son, my only thought was to find him and extinguish his soul.”

  Holy crap. That is pretty evil.

  Wait. No. Be hopeful, Getty. Perhaps he had a good reason. “Did you want to kill him because you feared he’d be like you?”

  “Yes.”

  Awesome. He wanted to kill his son for the greater good! And I can’t believe I’m cheering this. “Well, you can’t be all bad because, as messed up as killing your son would’ve been, you wanted to save the world from more men like you.”

  He shook his head and frowned. “No. I just hate competition.”

  Dammit! No! That is so, so evil.

  “Oh gods.” She rubbed her forehead. “We’re all fucked.”

  “But…” he hesitated, “then I saw him.”

  “And?” Her heart accelerated, filling with a sprig of hope.

  “And all I could think of was saving him.”

  “Saving him from being like you?”

  He nodded, and she released a slow sigh of relief. It wasn’t much to work with, but it was something.

  “Why are you smiling?” he asked.

  She ran her hands over the top of her head. “Because maybe it’s not too late for you, which means it’s not too late for me.”

  He grabbed her by the shoulders. “Goddess, let me make something perfectly clear. I am not your ‘one.’ I will never be good, nor do I wish to be.”

  She blinked up at him. “There is goodness in you even if you don’t want it. You’d do anything to shield Louie from following in your footsteps, and you made an effort to make me feel special tonight.”

  “He’s just a kid.” He huffed. “And I wanted to get in your pants.”

  She smiled softly. “Okay.”

  “Okay what?”

  “Okay. I’ll let you in my pants.” If he truly was her mate, his soul would start pulling hers away from the edge of darkness and she would do the same for him. Love was the most powerful force in the Universe, and more of it could only help him. From there, all she needed to do was prove to her brethren that he would not become a threat if made into a demigod, an act that could cure but not change one’s true nature. It was the reason they were so strict about handing out the turquoise eyes. No one wanted to make the mistake of granting immortality to a jerkwad psycho.

  “Well? Are we going to get frisky or not?” Jeez, way to be romantic, Forgetty.

  Távas stared for a long, long moment, the air filled with static.

  Suddenly, his soft lips slammed into hers.
He poured himself into the kiss, and she felt his armor melt away, exposing his darkness, his regret, his surrender to the life he’d been handed and to the bad things he’d done.

  Wow. He was, without question, evil. But in this moment, she also felt his soul reaching through hers, searching for the light.

  Her heart swelled with hope. She could help him forget his past and start anew as a good man. Yes, this is going to work.

  She reached to the sides of his scruffy jaw and held him tight to her mouth, inhaling his scent, his lust, and his darkness.

  “What are you doing to me?” he panted.

  She reached for his tie, ripping at the knot before tearing at the buttons on his shirt.

  He took the cue and clawed at her dress until she was completely naked save her heels.

  “Dear gods,” he groaned. “You’re hot enough to turn the blackest soul to gray.”

  She quirked a brow. “Uh, thanks?”

  He grabbed her forcefully and pulled her close, snaking his muscled arms around her back, deepening the kiss.

  She leaned into his tall frame, enjoying the hardness of his strong body and the heat of his skin seeping into her. Their mouths danced, greedily drinking in each other’s kisses. She loved the way his pillowy lips moved and slid against hers. He wasn’t afraid or intimidated by her, and he knew how to kiss.

  Still dressed, he scooped her naked body into his arms and carried her off to the master bedroom. Her body felt too hot, too lost in him to notice what the room looked like. Some brown furniture, white carpet—who cared?

  He put her down in front of a long dresser, turned her to face it, and shoved her forward. All she could think of was how much she needed to experience him—deep inside, touching her skin, breathing hard. In a moment’s notice he had gone from abrasive lug to an exotic dish she needed to taste. Good or bad, he was an unknown flavor she craved.

  He’s like evil brownies.

  She heard the zipper of his black slacks opening and the whoosh of fabric falling to the soft carpet before he let out a deep groan.

  “I could look at that view all night.” He gave her ass a slap, jolting her body upright.

  “Hey.” She looked over her shoulder. “What was that?”

  “I’m evil. Remember?” He turned her back around, and before she could respond, he had his fingers between her soft folds, massaging her gently.

  She gasped from the pleasant sensation. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been with a man.

  Try never. Never, ever, ever—

  “You’re already wet for me,” he said, sounding pleased, dipping his fingers into her entrance.

  Her mind spun in a dizzy cloud of sexual need. Clearly, they had chemistry, despite his lack of compassion or kindness—something she hoped to remedy.

  “Great observation,” she panted. “Are you going to fuck me now?”

  He removed his hand, and she quickly felt the head of his cock prodding at her entrance.

  She braced her hands on the edge of the dresser, sticking her ass up in anticipation of a thorough pounding.

  A moment passed. Then another.

  “What are you waiting—” She turned her head, only to find him standing there with his shaft in his hand.

  Damn, that thing really is huge. But it was the look of concern in his eyes, which were glued to her rear, that really caught her attention.

  “What’s the matter?” Because it certainly couldn’t be her body. This goddess came equipped with forever-smooth skin, toned thighs, long legs and the kind of tits that were so perky and full that she never required a bra. The girls just did their thing all on their own. Not that she really knew what to do with all of that fine equipment, given relationships weren’t ever on the menu. It’s like the Universe gave me a Ferrari I never get to drive.

  “Uh…” He suddenly bent down and slid on his pants.

  What the…? Forgetty stood upright and turned to face him. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “This isn’t happening.” He zipped up his fly.

  “Wow. You really are an epic evil asshole.”

  “You’re right. Smart of you to notice.” With torment in his hard, sinfully sexy eyes, he turned to leave the room.

  She rushed around him, blocking his path. “Hey. You’re not exactly my first choice either, unless we’re counting your tall manly body and broad shoulders, but I’m almost out of time.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “And?” His blue eyes moved to her bare breasts.

  “See. Right there. We have chemistry.”

  “Do we now?”

  “Yes. And I think if we start there—knowing we’re compatible in the bedroom—then it’s the spark you need, the way forward for you and for us. Not to mention Louie.”

  He gave her the most peculiar look, somewhere between a frown and look of longing. It ignited a longing of her own. She wanted to help him. She felt his sorrow.

  “I have no interest in changing,” he spat, “or moving forward, or…sparking.”

  “Távas, I know you don’t mean that. It’s the poison inside you talking, and though you won’t tell me how it got there, I have a solution to remove it.”

  “Beg.” He crossed his thick, menacing arms over his broad chest.

  “Sorry?” She blinked at him.

  “You want me to fuck you, then beg.”

  “Uh!” Her mouth fell open. “I will not beg, you evil fuck.”

  “Then no evil fuck for you.” He pushed past her, but she quickly caught up again. She couldn’t believe he was doing this to her. Most of all, she couldn’t believe she was actually considering begging.

  Damn you, Universe! Her hardwiring to serve humanity really sucked eggs. Otherwise, she would walk right out that door and never look back.

  “Why are you doing this to me, Távas?”

  “Because, as I’ve told you, I am not a good man. Never have been, never will be, never want to be.”

  Lies. All lies. Only minutes ago she’d felt his soul clawing for the light, seeking salvation.

  She held her hands up in surrender. “Fine. I get it. You’re horrible, cruel, and unsalvageable. Now will you fuck me?” Because if her instincts were correct, if they bonded, his need to be something better would become stronger.

  “Beg, goddess.” He lowered his head, placing them nose to nose.

  She swallowed down a lump of disdain. He’s got me by the short hairs and he knows it.

  She batted her eyelashes and smiled bitterly. “Please, mighty Távas, please bend me over that dresser and fuck me.”

  He studied her for a long moment, a cruel glint in his eyes. “Beg again. This time on your knees.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “I can’t believe this!” Cimil stomped her bare foot on the muddy jungle floor. “My piggy bank is gone.”

  “Are you certain?” asked Roberto, still in his black boxers, his bare chest on full display.

  “Yes, I’m certain.” She pointed to the clearing. “It was right there. And put away those pecs—I can’t think straight when you show me your manly chest. Just makes me want to get out the peanut butter.” All that mocha skin reminded her of milk chocolate, which reminded her of peanut butter cups. Of course, once that started, she couldn’t stop herself from licking him from head to toe, and there was no time for that right now. They’d already lost two hours going at it like bunnies before even getting here.

  “As you wish.” He grabbed two large leaves from a nearby banana tree and held them over his nipples. “Better?”

  “No. Now you’re making me think of those delicious tamales.” The kind that are wrapped in banana leaves and stuffed with all sorts of savory goodies. “Wait. Why can’t I stop thinking about food?”

  A long, long moment of silence filled the air.

  Cimil gasped and covered her mouth.

  Roberto dropped the leaves. “Oh, my sour little pickle, do not toy with me.”

  “I’m pregnant
.” She slid her hand over her stomach, immediately feeling that something wasn’t right. “Oh goodness.”

  “Cimil, what’s the matter?” He rushed to her side. “I know it happened quickly—like, in the last hour—but I thought you wanted another litter. You’ve been begging me for months.”

  “I do.” She shook her head from side to side. “That’s not the problem. I feel their lights. I feel…” She looked up at him, swallowing down her dread. “Their goodness.”

  It took a moment for Roberto to put the pieces together. “Uh-oh.” His coco skin turned a sad shade of taupe.

  “No shit, uh-oh! What kind of rotten swimmers did you give me, Roberto?”

  “I don’t know,” he griped. “I’m a vampire. A very, very old one. Maybe my nut sack is past its expiration date.”

  She rolled her eyes. Ugh. Vampires.

  He bellied up to her and pulled her close. “Cimil, do not fear. We will work this out. Together.”

  “But what can we do? The Universe will not stay in this state of chaos forever. And once all is set right again, the immortals who’ve flipped will return to their natural states. Our children, the ones who are currently malevolent little bastards, will be good, as they were meant to be. But these little suckers,” she rubbed her stomach, “they will be supervillains once the world is right again.” Cimil sighed.

  Roberto placed his hand on her stomach. “Do not fret. Perhaps they will be grown by the time the Universe rights herself and they will already have mates to change their evil tendencies.”

  “It doesn’t work like that; a mate only provides stability for one’s soul so they can remain who they truly are. If you are a good soul, you are good. If you are evil, you are evil. A mate doesn’t change a being’s moral compass.” This was the reason they were scrambling to find mates for the most powerful of the immortals. During this time of plague, a mate kept a person grounded in their true nature, like a vaccine or an antidote. “Make no mistake, once this wave of turbulence has made its way through the Universe’s system, everything will go back to normal and everyone will be who they were truly meant to be.”