Graustark

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by George Barr McCutcheon


  VI. GRAUSTARK

  Two weeks later Grenfall Lorry was landed and enjoying the sensations,the delights of that wonderful world called by the name of Paris. Thesecond day after his arrival he met a Harvard man of his time on thestreet. Harry Anguish had been a pseudo art student for two years. Whenat college he was a hail-fellow-well-met, a leader in athletics andin matters upon which faculties frown. He and Lorry were warm friends,although utterly unlike in temperament; to know either of these menwas to like him; between the two one found all that was admirable andinteresting in man. The faults and virtues of each were along suchdifferent lines that they balanced perfectly when lumped upon thescale of personal estimation. Their unexpected meeting in Paris, wasas exhilarating pleasure to both, and for the next week or so they wereinseparable. Together they sipped absinthe at the cafes and strolledinto the theaters, the opera, the dance halls and the homes of some ofAnguish's friends, French and American.

  Lorry did not speak to his friend of Graustark until nearly two weeksafter his arrival in the city. He had discussed with himself theadvisability of revealing his plans to Anguish, fearing the latter'sridicule with all the cowardice of a man who knows that scoffing is, ina large measure, justifiable. Growing impatient to begin the search forthe unheard-of country, its capital and at least one of its inhabitants,he was at last compelled to inform Anguish, to a certain extent, of hisplans for the future. He began by telling him of his intention to takea run over toward Vienna, Buda-Pesth and some of the Easterncities, expecting to be gone a couple of months. To his surprise andconsternation, Anguish enthusiastically volunteered to take the tripwith him, having had the same project in view for nearly a year.

  There was nothing left for Lorry but to make a clean breast of it,which he did shamefacedly, expecting the laughter and raillery of hislight-hearted friend as payment for his confidence. Instead, however,Anguish, who possessed a lively and romantic nature, was charmed by thestory and proclaimed it to be the most delightful adventure that hadever happened outside of a story-book.

  "Tell me all about her," he urged, his eyes sparkling with boyishenthusiasm. And Lorry proceeded to give him a personal descriptionof the mysterious beauty, introducing him, in the same manner, tothe distinguished uncle and aunt, adding all those details which hadconfounded and upset him during his own investigations.

  "This is rich!" exclaimed Anguish. "Beats any novel written, I declare.Begad, old man, I don't blame you for hunting down this wonderful bit offemininity. With a curiosity and an admiration that had been sharpenedso keenly as yours, I'd go to the end of the world myself to have themsatisfied."

  "I may be able to satisfy but one--curiosity. And maybe not that. Butwho knows of Graustark?"

  "Don't give up before you've tried. If these people live in such aplace, why, it is to be found, of course. Any railroad guide-book canlocate this land of mystery. There are so many infernal little kingdomsand principalities over here that it would take a lifetime to get 'emall straightened out in one's head. To-morrow morning we will go to oneof the big railway-stations and make inquiries. We'll locate Graustarkand then we'll go over and pluck the flower that grows there. All youneed, my boy, is a manager. I'll do the arranging, and your little actwill be the plucking."

  "Easier said than done."

  "She threw a kiss to you, didn't she?"

  "Certainly, but, confound it, that was because she never expected to seeme again."

  "Same reason why you threw a kiss to her, I suppose?"

  "I know why; I wasn't accountable."

  "Well, if she did it any more wittingly than you did, she isaccountable, and I'd hunt her up and demand an explanation."

  Lorry laughed at his apparent fervor, but was glad that he had confidedin his energetic countryman. Two heads were better than one, and he wasforced to admit to himself that he rather liked the idea of companyin the undertaking. Not that he expected to encounter any particulardifficulty, but that he saw a strange loneliness ahead. Therefore hewelcomed his friend's avowed intention to accompany him to Edelweiss asa relief instead of an annoyance. Until late in the night they discussedthe coming trip, Anguish finally startling him with a question, just ashe was stretching himself preparatory to the walk to his hotel.

  "What are you going to do with her after you find her, Gren, old man?"

  Grenfall's brow puckered and he brought himself up with a jerk, puzzleduncertainty expressing itself in his posture as well as in his face.

  "I'll think about that after I have found her," he replied.

  "Think you'll marry her?" persisted the other.

  "How do I know?" exclaimed the woman hunter, savagely.

  "Oh, of course you don't know--how could you?" apologized Anguish."Maybe she won't have you--maybe she is married--all sorts ofcontingencies, you know. But, if you'll pardon my inquisitiveness, I'dlike to ask why you are making this wild goose chase half around theworld? just to have another look at her?"

  "You asked me if I thought--" Here he stopped.

  "I take it for granted, then, that you'd like to. Well, I'm glad thatI've got something definite on which to base operations. The oneobject of our endeavors, from now on, is to exchange Guggenslocker forLorry--certainly no robbery. A charity, I should say. Good-night! Seeyou in the morning."

  The next morning the two friends took a cab to several railway stationsand inquired about Graustark and Edelweiss.

  "She was stringing you, old man," said Anguish, after they had turnedaway from the third station. He spoke commiseratingly, as he really feltsorry.

  "No!" exclaimed Lorry. "She told me the truth. There is a Graustark andshe lives there. I'll stake my life on those eyes of hers."

  "Are you sure she said it was in Europe?" asked Harry, looking up anddown the street as if he would not have been surprised to see her inParis. In his heart he believed that she and her precious relatives haddeceived old Gren. Perhaps their home was in Paris, and nowhere else.But for Lorry's positiveness he would have laughed heartily at theother's simple credulity, or branded him a dolt, the victim of somemerry actress's whim. Still, he was forced to admit, he was not in aposition to see matters as they appeared, and was charitable enough tobide his time and to humor the faith that was leading them from place toplace in the effort to find a land that they knew nothing about.Lorry seemed so sure, so positive, that he was loath to see his dreamdispelled, his ideal shattered. There was certainly no Graustark;neither had the Guggenslockers sailed on the Wilhelm, all apparentevidence to the contrary notwithstanding. Lorry had been in a deliriumand had imagined he saw her on the ship. If there, why was not her namein the list? But that problem tortured the sanguine searcher himself.

  At last, in despair, after a fruitless search of two days, Lorrywas willing to submit. With the perverseness common to half-defeatedfighters, Anguish at once protested, forgetting that he had sought todissuade his friend the day before.

  "We'll go to the library of Paris and take a look through the books andmaps," he said. "Or, better still, let us go to the post office. There!Why have we not thought of that? What there is of Graustark they'll knowin the postal service."

  Together they visited the chief post office, where, after being directedto various deputies and clerks, they at length found the department inwhich the information was obtainable. Inside of five minutes they werein possession of facts that vindicated Miss Guggenslocker, lifted Lorryto the seventh heaven, and put Mr. Anguish into an agony of impatience.Graustark was a small principality away off to the east, and Edelweisswas a city of some seventy-five thousand inhabitants, according to thepostal guide-book.

  The Americans could learn no more there, so they went to Baedecker'soffice. Here they found a great map, and, after a diligent and almostmicroscopic search, succeeded in discovering the principality ofGraustark. Then they looked at each other in dismay.

  "It's a devil of a distance to that little red blot on the map," musedLorry, pulling his nose reflectively. "What an outlandish place for agirl like her to live
in," he continued. "And that sweet-faced old ladyand noble Uncle Caspar! Ye gods! one would think barbarians existedthere and not such people as the Guggenslockers, refined, cultivatedsmart, rich. I'm more interested than ever in the place."

  "So am I! I'm willing and ready to make the trip, old man, if you arestill of a mind. It's a lark, and, besides, she may not be the onlypretty and gracious girl there. We've had hard work to find it on themap, let's not stop till we see Edelweiss on the earth itself."

  They made hasty preparations for the journey. Anguish, romantic andfull of adventure, advised the purchase of a pair of pistols and aknife apiece, maintaining that, as they were going into an unknownand mountainous region, they should be prepared for brigands and otherelements of danger. Lorry pooh-poohed the suggestion of brigands, butindulged his mood by buying some ugly-looking revolvers and inviting theprospect of something really thrilling in the way of an adventure. Withtheir traps they were soon whirling through France, bound for a certaingreat city, on the road to Edelweiss, one filled with excitement,eagerness and boyish zeal, the other harrassed by the sombre fear thata grave disappointment was in store for him. Through the glamour and thepicturesqueness of the adventure there always crept the unconquerablefeeling that he was on a fool's errand, that he was committing a deedso weak and brainless that it was sure to make him a veritablelaughing-stock when it became known. After all, who was MissGuggenslocker--brewer, baker, gardener or sausage-maker.

  Traveling, of course, was pleasant at this time of the year, and thetwo Americans saw much that interested them along the way. TheirFrench, especially Anguish's, was of great value to them, for they foundoccasion to use it at all times and in all places. Both spoke Germanfairly well, and took every opportunity to brush up in that language,Lorry remembering that the Guggenslockers used many expressions thatshowed a preference for the Teutonic. The blithe Anguish, confident andin high feather, was heart and soul in the odd expedition of love, andtalked incessantly of their reception by the far-away hostess, theirimpressions and the final result. His camera and sketching materialswere packed away with his traps. It was his avowed intention toimmortalize the trip by means of plate, palate and brush.

  At the end of two days they reached a certain large city,--the firstchange, and then seven hundred miles to another. The distance from thispoint to the capital of Graustark was two hundred miles or more, chieflythrough mountainous lands. Somewhat elated by the cheerful informationthere received, they resumed the journey to Edelweiss, the city of vale,slope and park,--summer, fall and winter. Changing cars at the end ofthe second day out, they sat back in the dusty seats of their carriageand sighed with relief.

  "Unless we jump the track, this train will land us in the city we arelooking for," said Anguish, stretching out his legs comfortably. "I'lladmit it has been a tiresome journey, and I'll be glad when we can stepinto a decent hotel, have a rub, and feel like white men once more. Iam beginning to feel like these dirty Slavs and Huns we saw 'way backthere."

  "There's one thing certain," said Lorry, looking out of the window."The people and the habitations are different and the whole world seemschanged since we left that station. Look at those fellows on horsebackover there."

  "What did I tell you about brigands and robbers!" exclaimed Anguish."If those fellows are not bandits I'll lose faith in every novel I everread."

  The train rolled slowly past three mounted men whose steeds stood likestatues upon a little knoll to the right of the track, men and beastsengaged in silent contemplation of the cars. The men, picturesquelyattired and looking fierce, carrying long rifles, certainly bore anaspect that suggested the brigand. When the guard entered the carriageAnguish asked in German for some information concerning the riders.

  "Dey're frontier police-guards," responded the man in English, smilingat their astonishment. Both Americans arose and shook hands with him.

  "By George, it's good to hear a man talk white man's language," criedAnguish.

  "How do you come to be holding a job on this road? An Englishman?"demanded Lorry. He looked anything but English.

  "I'm not an Englishman," said the guard, flushing slightly. "My name'sSitzky, and I'm an American, sir."

  "An American!" exclaimed Lorry. Sitzky grew loquacious.

  "Sure! I used to be a sailor on a United States man-o'war. A couple ofyears ago I got into trouble down at Constantinople and had to get outof de service. After dat I drifted up dis way and went to railroadin'."He hadn't exactly the manner of a man-of-warsman.

  "How long have you been on this road?" asked Grenfall.

  "'Bout a year, I should t'ink. Been on dis branch only two months,dough."

  "Are you pretty well acquainted in Edelweiss?''

  "Oh, I run in dere every other day--in an' out ag'in. It's a fineplace,--purtiest you ever saw in your life. The town runs right up themountain to the tip-top where the monks are--clear up in d' clouds. Deysay it snows up dere almost all d' time."

  Later on, from the loquacious guard, the two Americans learned quitea good bit about the country and city to which they were going. Hisknowledge was somewhat limited along certain lines, but quite clear asto others.

  "Dis Graustark, 's fer as I know, is eeder a sort o' state or somet'ingbelongin' to de Umpire, governed by it's own rulers. Edelweiss is decapital, d' big guns of d' land lives dere. I've walked out and saw d'castle where d' Princess and d' royalty hangs out. D' people speak alanguage of deir own, and I can't get next to a t'ink dey say. But oncein a while you find some guy dat talks French or German. Dey've got alittle standin' army of two t'ree t'ousand men an' dey've got de hottestuniforms you ever did see--red an' black an' gold. I don't see why d'United Rates can't get up somethin' foxy fer her soldiers to wear. Had awar over here not long ago, I understand--somethin' like ten or fifteenyears ago. Dere's another little country up north of Graustark, and deygot in a wrangle 'bout somethin', and dey tell me in Edelweiss dat for'bout a year dey fought like Sam Patch."

  "Which was victorious?" demanded Lorry, deeply interested.

  "I'm not sure. To hear d' Edelweiss people talk you'd t'ink dey lickedd' daylights out of d' other slobs, but somehow I got next to d' factdat dem other fellows captured de city an' went after a slashin' bigwar indemnity. I don't know much 'bout it, an' maybe I'm clear off butI t'ink d' Graustark army was trashed. Every t'ing is prosperous now,dough, an' you'd never know dere'd been a war. It's d'most peaceabletown I ever saw."

  "Did you ever hear of the Guggenslockers?" asked the irrepressibleAnguish, and Lorry felt like kicking him.

  "In Edelweiss? Never did. Friends of yours?"

  "Acquaintances," interposed Lorry, hastily, frowning at Anguish.

  "You won't have any trouble findin' 'em if dere anybody at all," saidSitzky, easily. "D' hotel people ought to be able to tell you all 'bout'em."

  "By the way, what is the best hotel there?" asked Anguish.

  "Dere's d' Burnowentz, one block north of d' depot." The travelerslooked at one another and smiled, Sitzky observing the action. "Oh," hesaid, pleasantly, "dere's a swell joint uptown called d' Regengetz.It's too steep fer me, but maybe you gents can stand it. It you'll hangaround d' depot fer a little while after we get in I'll steer you updere."

  "We'll make it worth your while, Sitzky," said Lorry.

  "Never mind dat, now. Americans ought to stick together, no matter wheredey are. We'll have a drink an' 'at's all, just to show we're fellowcountrymen."

  "We'll have several drinks, and we'll eat and drink tonight at the'swell joint' you talk about," said Anguish.

  "We may drink dere, but I'll not eat dere. Dey wouldn't let a railroadguard inside de feedin' pen. Why, nothin' but royal guys eat dere whendey're down town shoppin' or exposin' demselves to public gaze."

  True to his word, when they reached Edelweiss late that afternoonSitzky, their friend of uncertain origin, hurriedly finished his workand joined the travelers in the station. Lorry and Anguish were deeplyinterested in all they saw, the strange people, the queer b
uildings,the odd costumes and the air of antiquity that prevailed. Once upon thenarrow, clean street they saw that Edelweiss was truly a city of themountain-side. They had expected something wonderful, but were notprepared for what they found. The city actually ran up into the clouds.There was something so grand, so improbable, so unusual in the spectacleconfronting them that they stared like children, aghast and stupefied.Each had the startling impression that a great human-dotted mountain wasfalling over upon his head; it was impossible to subdue the sensation ofdizziness that the toppling town inspired.

  "I know how you feel," observed Sitzky, laughing. "I was just d' sameat first. Tomorrow you walk a little ways up d' side of d' mountain an'you'll see how much of d' city dere is on level ground down here. Dembuildings up dere ain't more'n one-fiftieth part of d'town. Dey'remostly summer homes. It gets hot as blazes down here in d' valley in d'middle of d' summer and d' rich ones move up d' mountain."

  "How in thunder do people get up to those houses?" demanded Anguish.

  "Mules," answered Sitzky, specifically. "Say! See dat little old fellercomin' on horseback--wid d' white uniform? Well, dat's de chief ofpolice, an' d' fellers behind him are police guards. 'At's old Danglosshimself. He's a peach, dey say."

  A short, grizzly-faced man, attired in a white uniform with redtrimmings, followed by three men similarly garbed, rode by, going in thedirection of the passenger station. Dangloss, as Sitzky had called him,was quite small in stature, rather stout, gray-bearded and eagle-nosed.His face was keen and red, and not at all the kind to invitefamiliarity. As he passed them the railroad guard of Americancitizenship touched his cap and the two travelers bowed, whereupon thechief of police gave them a most profound salutation, fairly sweepinghis saddleskirts with his white cap.

  "Polite old codger," observed Anguish.

  "His company manners. Just let him get you in d' sweatbox, if you t'inkhe's polite."

  "Ever been there?"

  "Well," a little confusedly, "I pasted a Graustark baggage-smasherdown in d' yards two weeks ago, an' dey had me up. I proved d' fellerinsulted a lady, an' old Dangloss let me off, sayin' I'd ought to have amedal. Dese guys are great on gallantry when ladies is concerned. If ithadn't been fer dat, I'd be in d' lock-up now. An' say, you ought to seed' lock-up! It's a tower, wid dungeons an' all dat sort of t'ing. A mancouldn't no more get out 'n' he could fly up to d' monastery. Dey'regreat on law an' order here, too. D' Princess has issued strictest kindof rules an' everybody has to live up to 'em like as if dey was realgospel. I t'ought I'd put you next, gents, so's you wouldn't be doin'anyt'ing crooked here."

  "Thanks," said Lorry, drily. "We shall try to conduct ourselvesdiscreetly in the city."

  Probably a quarter mile farther down the narrow, level street they cameto the bazaars, the gaudy stores, and then the hotel. It was trulya hostelry to inspire respect and admiration in the mind of such asSitzky, for it was huge and well equipped with the modern appointments.As soon as the two Americans had been given their rooms, they sent fortheir luggage. Then they went out to the broad piazza, with its columnsand marble balustrades, and looked for Sitzky, remembering theirinvitation to drink. The guard had refused to enter the hotel with them,urging them to allow him to remain on the piazza. He was not there whenthey returned, but they soon saw him. On the sidewalk he was arguingwith a white-uniformed police guard, and they realized that he had beenejected from sacred precincts.

  They promptly rescued him from the officer, who bowed and strode away assoon as they interceded.

  "Dese fellers is slick enough to see you are swells and I'm not," saidSitzky, not a bit annoyed by his encounter. "I'll bet my head 'at insideten minutes old Dangloss will know who you are, where you come from an'what you're doin' here."

  "I'll bet fifty heads he won't find out what we're doing here," grinnedAnguish, looking at Lorry. "Well, let's hunt up the thirst department."

  They found the little apartment in which drinks were served at tables,and before they said good-by to Sitzky in front of the hotel, a halfhour later, that worthy was in exceeding good humor and very muchflushed in the face. He said he would be back in two days, and if theyneeded him for any purpose whatever, they could reach him by a note atthe railway station.

  "Funny how you run across an American in every nook and corner of theworld," mused Lorry, as they watched the stocky ex-man-o'warsman strolloff towards his hotel.

  "If we can run across the Guggenslockers as easily, we'll be in luck.When shall we begin the hunt? Tonight?"

  "We can make a few inquiries concerning them. They certainly are peopleof importance here."

  "I don't see the name on any of the brewery signs around town," observedAnguish, consolingly. "There's evidently no Guggenslocker here."

  They strolled through the streets near the hotel until after sixo'clock, wondering at the quaint architecture, the pretty gardens andthe pastoral atmosphere that enveloped the city. Everybody was busy,contented, quiet and happy. There was no bustle or strife, no rush, nobeggars. At six they saw hundreds of workingmen on the streets, going totheir homes; shops were closed and there came to their ears the distantboom of cannon, evidently fired from different points of the compass andfrom the highland as well as the lowland.

  "The toy army is shooting off the good-night guns," speculated Anguish."I suppose everybody goes to bed now.

  "Or to dinner," substituted Lorry, and they returned to the Regengetx.The dining hall was spacious and beautiful, a mixture of the orientaland the mediaeval. It rapidly filled.

  "Who the dickens can all these people be? They look well," Anguishwhispered, as if he feared their nearest neighbors might understand hisEnglish.

  "They are unquestionably of the class in which we must expect to findthe Guggenslockers."

  Before the meal was over the two strangers saw that they were attractinga great deal of attention from the other guests of the house. The women,as well as the men, were eyeing them and commenting quite freely, it waseasy to see. These two handsome, smooth-faced young Americans were asmen from another world, so utterly unlike their companions were they inpersonal appearance. They were taller, broader and more powerfully builtthan the swarthy-faced men about them, and it was no wonder that thewomen allowed admiration to show in their eyes. Toward the end of thedinner several officers came in, and the Americans took particular painsto study them. They were cleanly-built fellows, about medium height,wiry and active. As a class, the men appeared to average five feet seveninches in height, some a little taller, some a little shorter. The twostrangers were over six feet tall, broad-shouldered and athletic. Theylooked like giants among these Graustark men.

  "They're not very big, but they look as if they'd be nasty in a scrap,"observed Anguish, unconsciously throwing out his chest.

  "Strong as wildcats, I'll wager. The women are perfect, though. Have youever seen a smarter set of women, Harry?"

  "Never, never! A paradise of pretty women. I believe I'll take outnaturalization papers."

  When the two strangers left the dining-room they were conscious thatevery eye in the place was upon them. They drew themselves to their fullheight and strode between the tables toward the door, feeling that asthey were on exhibition they ought to appear to the best advantage.During the evening they heard frequent allusions to "the Americans,"but could not understand what was said. The hotel men were more thanobsequious; the military men and citizens were exceedingly deferential;the women who strolled on the piazza or in the great garden back of thehotel were discreetly curious.

  "We seem to be the whole show here, Gren," said Anguish, as they satdown at one of the tables in the garden.

  "I guess Americans are rare."

  "I've found one fellow who can speak German and French, and not one,except our guard who can talk English. That clerk talks German fairlywell. I never heard such a language as these other people use. Say, oldman, we'd better make inquiry about our friends to-night. That clerkprobably won't be on duty to-morrow."

  "We'll ask him befo
re we go to bed," agreed Lorry, and upon leavingthe brilliantly lighted garden they sought the landlord and asked ifhe could tell them where Caspar Guggenslocker lived. He looked politelyincredulous and thoughtful, and then, with profound regret, assured themhe had never heard the name. He said he had lived in Edelweiss all hislife, and knew everybody of consequence in the town.

  "Surely there must be such people here," cried Lorry, almostappealingly. He felt disheartened and cheated. Anguish was biting hislips.

  "Oh, possibly among the poorer classes. If I were you, sir, I shouldcall on Captain Dangloss, the Chief of Police. He knows every soul inEdelweiss. I am positive I have never heard the name. You will find theCaptain at the Tower to-morrow morning."

  The two Americans went to bed, one so dismayed by his disappointmentthat he could not sleep for hours.

 

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