His legs were held apart by a pair of thick restraints, not a stitch of clothing on him. When another howl of pain erupted through the speaker I swallowed again, watching Luca move an old-fashioned coke bottle in and out of the man’s ass. Julian’s hand slipped between my legs, going straight to where I was already growing wet.
“Morgana,” he feigned shock, stroking me through the lace-y fabric of my underwear. Neither of us were ever surprised by the other anymore. I was his filthy masochist, and he was my beautifully deviant sadist. We were a severely obscene couple, always indulging in sinister acts of malice and constantly making love amid depravity.
I parted my legs for him, and he laughed again. His lips found their way to mine and he kissed me with the same hunger and soul stealing desire he always did. I was adjusted again, our breathing already growing erratic.
The sound of his zipper going down made me press against him a little more. My underwear was torn away with an annoyed growl when they slowed him down. He gripped my hips and I hovered above him, looking down into his eyes.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he murmured, watching my lips part as he lowered me down onto on his cock, stretching my swollen pussy as he slid inside me, burying himself as far as he could, drawing a soft moan from my throat. He guided me up and down slowly at first, but it wasn’t long before he was urging me to fuck him harder.
When the man’s screams grew louder in the background, he lifted me up onto his desk and took all the control I willingly relinquished. His strokes were impassioned; he thrust hard, causing the wood to dig into my back. My legs wrapped around his waist; my hands buried themselves in his hair.
He rolled his hips, moving in and out at a steady pace.
"You’re so fucking perfect," he rasped, slamming into me with each word. He groaned my name a second later as my pussy began to clench around him, bringing his mouth back to mine. His teeth sank into my tongue, setting a pain signal off in my brain. My pussy contracted and I drew him closer. Our bodies moved together like they always did, in a blur of motions that had us hitting an overwhelming climax together.
He caught my broken cry with his mouth as he growled, coming just as hard as I did, barely stopping his body from crushing mine. Our foreheads touched; our breath intermingled in a comfortable silence.
We remained like that, and after a few minutes he slowly took me again, this time as we watched the man on the screen bleed out, Luca having slammed his now broken bottle into his rectum.
“I’ll love you always,” he spoke softly into my ear.
“I’ll love you more.” I cupped his gorgeous face and his kissed him again.
Those flashes of her life were like an old movie reel. I watched all the horrors and small triumphs of it unfold. I even felt her emotions, the way her heart split down the middle when she succumbed to demons ruthless in their desire to see her demise. The same ones stirring in the recess of my mind.
These memories had started to come frequently over the last four days.
Julian was always at the core of them even if he wasn’t directly in the scene. He was my sun, I shined brighter than a diamond every time he was around, and the world seemed darker when he wasn’t.
He’d done things to me and my body, sick and twisted things, but I’d wanted all of it. I still did. I knew exactly who he was and all the things he was capable of, and the only thing I felt for him was sorrow and love. So much love. Of course, there was anger and regret too, guilt that gnawed at my gut like a worm at an apples core. That wasn’t going to magically go away over-night. I imagined I’d carry it with me for the rest of my life, but not always this potent.
All these revelations, though. They did nothing to help me understand what it was Julian was thinking in the present. When he came to bed every night, he didn’t touch me.
His forehead kisses came every morning, but nothing else. I wanted more. Ached for it. Needed it like I needed air.
I thought his lack of progress might have been because of the way he’d left me, his come dripping between my legs and into the wine he’d spilled on the table. I wasn’t angry at him for walking away.
His words from that night kept replaying in my mind like a broken record and I wanted nothing more than to steal all his hurt away. We both needed to heal, I only hoped we could figure out a way to do it together as the people we were today.
I rolled my shoulders and sighed, rubbing at the back of my neck. It was a beautiful day. The sun was out, the sky clear and blue. It was silent here as always, but I was beginning to kind-of like it. I knew Babs was inside humming to herself as she dusted all the things that didn’t need dusting.
Luca would sporadically appear out of the blue always looking like he was on a one-man mission. I hadn’t seen his wife since that one night at dinner, and I had no real desire to. Something inside me was weary of her ever since Julian’s confession and the resurfacing of my past.
I knew I was ultimately responsible for my own actions, but to have someone know how vulnerable I’d been back then and encourage me to end it, well, I didn’t want someone like that in my life.
All in all, I felt as if I was coming home after being away for far too long. Nester just needed to disappear for a while. Not forever, but until I could stomach what he did and felt okay enough to hear his true explanation without letting my anger get the best of me.
Hearing footsteps coming from my left, I turned my head and took in the sight of Mason coming towards me.
“Good morning,” he greeted with a cheerful smile. My heart panged just like it had every other time I’d seen him the past few days. He looked so much like Julian he could have spit him out himself. The only difference were his eyes, they were more like mine.
“Morning,” I replied, smiling back at him.
He sat down beside me; his posture perfectly straight. “You’re not supposed to be shy around me. You’re my mother.”
I quirked a brow, playing off the way my heart just flipped over and died inside my chest. That was the first time he’d called me that. “I am not shy.”
“And pigs don’t shit.”
I laughed, not at all surprised by his mouth. He was Julian’s son, after all.
I looked out across the property and felt him staring at me. The urge to hide my face was strong. I knew he could the scars and for him to know why they were there made me feel that much more ashamed.
“You don’t look much different than in your portrait or the pictures I’ve seen.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“Its an honest observation so you can stop worrying about your face.”
I blinked in surprise. “How did you even…? I’m not worried,” I sniffed.
“I know lots of things, mom. And you do worry. You shouldn’t, you’re very pretty.”
There was that word again. I forced down the emotion that was building inside me before I started to ugly cry in front of him. “How can you just accept me as your mother? Just like that?” I snapped my fingers.
“Aren’t I your son?”
“Um…yes.”
“And aren’t you my mother?”
I sighed and rubbed my forehead. “Not in the way you deserved.”
“But you are still my mom? Don’t throw a pity party just answer the question.”
I laughed. “Mason.”
“Mom.”
“Oh, god. You are just like him.”
“In a lot of ways, yes. In many other ways, no. But I know that wouldn’t stop you from caring about me either way.”
I turned to him caught by surprise for the second time in minutes. “You heard that?”
He nodded. “I think I needed to hear you say that. I can’t say I remember you, because I don’t and I’m not going to lie. I won’t judge you for what you did, but I need you to understand I blamed myself for a long time when I was growing up. Maybe even up until recently. My father never hid what happened or his part in it. I’ve never judged or
held a grudge against him, and I won’t vilify you either.”
I released a shaky breath, feeling my eyes begin to burn. That was a mouthful, and the new wave of guilt it brought I accepted without a struggle.
“Don’t cry. Katie did enough of that her entire pregnancy, probably filled half of the Atlantic.”
I laughed again, feeling a small weight lift from my shoulders. “She seems lovely.”
“She is. She’s everything,” he confirmed with the conviction of a man who was deeply in love.
I smiled, happy that he was happy.
“So, what are we doing today?” he asked, changing gears.
“I don’t know. What would you like to do?” Then, thinking of how Julian had said we should start with the truth, “Do you have one of those rooms?”
There was a small pause followed by a simple, “Yes.”
“We should probably start with that.”
“Okay,” he agreed quicker than I thought he would. He stood from the fountain and I followed, hitching myself to his arm when he offered it.
Chapter Thirteen
I stepped away from my office window once they vanished from view. It was too early to be this fucking emotional.
Seeing my son and his mother was a dream I’d never in a million years considered would become a reality. I didn’t have to worry about Mason hurting her or lashing out.
All he’d ever wanted was to meet her. Despite his own afflictions, my son wasn’t a bad man. I could pat my own back for that. I did a good fucking job raising him, letting him become whoever it was he wanted to be with a healthy amount of parental guidance when it was needed.
Hearing a double knock on my door, I hit send on my cell and placed it face down on the desk. “Come in,” I called, pretending I was still looking out the window.
“You said it was time to talk?” Nester’s gruff voice filled the room.
I turned and addressed him. “You need to leave here. Morgana doesn’t want you here.”
“Did she say that?”
“She doesn’t have to. I know my wife.”
My words prickled him.
“Do you remember that day?” he questioned.
“Enough.” I didn't remember much after being pulled from my Nova. I was unconscious by time the emergency unit got to us. What I did remember was watching my wife die and not being able to do a goddamn thing about it. She was here now but some part of her had died that day.
Thomas was right. Morgana was different. Her memory burned inside me like a fucking fire. I knew her like the back of my own hand. However, she was different in a good way. This new her was still timid and soft. My gorgeous mess of a woman was still there, but so much stronger than she’d ever been before.
It’d been hell keeping my hands off her these past few days, but there were a few things I had to take care of before I could fully move past all of this, and forward with her. I’d settled for watching her, which wasn’t too difficult.
I was obsessed with seeing her do nothing other than live. I’d been right too. There was no way to kill off every demon that lingered in her mind. That’s ultimately what made her, her. And me, me. My demons and I got on quite well. I would help her do the same. I’d feed and nurture her dark side until she flourished and thrived like she always should have.
And this time I would be diligent in ensuring no harm came to her unless it was by my hands while my dick was buried inside one of her fuckable holes. I refused to lose her again to her own mind.
“When you were life-flighted to the best hospital your parents’ money could afford, I knew it was now or never to get her away. You would need time to recoup, if you ever did. The Dahlia was on fire. Everything was chaotic. No one noticed me in the background,” Thomas confessed.
“I’d already announced her dead when I saw your car at the bottom of that ravine and realized what had happened.” He paused and rubbed his jaw, looking as if he’d aged one hundred years in two days. “There comes a time when all your dark deeds catch up to you Julian, start to keep you awake at night. All the times I’ve payed to see a show or indulged myself…it’s all taken a toll. I saw a chance to right one wrong and save someone who was important to another young woman I once knew.”
“I see it worked out well for you,” I replied with heavy sarcasm.
“I made a miscalculated judgement. I thought showing her the truth would make her remember why she’d tried to end it all and give her closure as well. Let her be able to move on. Something wouldn’t let her leave this shithole behind. S’pose it all backfired.” He sighed again and began to stand.
“That was a terrible plan in the first place. You don’t treat a trauma with trauma.” Had this have gone another way she’d have been twice as bad as she was before. How the fuck did you become a doctor?”
“I fix bodies, not minds. I did the best I could for her given the circumstance.” He laughed. “You truly are a bastard Julian. A lucky one. You refuse to die, and you could announce to the world right now that you’re really Satan himself and your whole damn family would rejoice.”
Luck had nothing to do with it. I told death to go fuck itself every time it tried to come for me. I had a few scars and a bad knee, but I felt more rejuvenated than I had in years and it had everything to do with having my wife back. As for my family, madness ran in our blood. Satan was probably a distant cousin.
“Why now? Why bring her back now?”
“I told you. I didn’t want her to wake up one day and digress, and I wanted her to meet you and your son while getting the closure she deserved.”
I had asked him something along these lines that first day and gotten a similar answer. It was bullshit. Maybe he did want the woman he’d nursed back to health to find closure, but there was much more to his reasoning than that and it wasn’t about Mason or me. He was an idiot if the thought I believed him.
“And this other young woman you were speaking of?” I already had theory. It would need to be fact checked, but I had a good idea of who he was talking about. The same little bitch that fucked shit up from the dead the last time around.
He stopped. “That’s a story for another time, and I say that to say, I have a contingency plan in place in case something was to happen to me by your hand.”
“I’ll be sure to add that in my notes.”
“Be certain you do, and maybe a little gratefulness too. I was the one who nursed her back to health.”
I didn’t say anything to that, just waited for him to get the hell out of my office. If he thought that was some sort of bargaining chip, he was sorely mistaken. She missed out on half of her life because of him. She wouldn’t have remembered all she’d lost regardless of where she recuperated at. He took advantage of a situation that had nothing to do with so he could atone for how pathetic he was.
When I was certain he was gone, I picked up my cell and took it off speaker phone.
Chapter Fourteen
When I asked Mason to show me to his personal room at the Dahlia, I had expected something like his fathers’.
His space was painted a charcoal grey. All the walls but one was full of canvas paintings. More were piled neatly in stacks. I ran my hand over his specialized chair, circling the easel stand beside it.
On the one wall was nothing but shelves, each one was lined with rows of perfectly degloved skulls.
“You painted all this?” I asked, examining the art closely. It was vividly morbid and extremely well detailed. The people were put together with different parts, all sizes and colors. From his work and the placement of the easel I could tell what it was he did in here.
“Yeah, over the course of a few years.”
“And the skulls?”
“Katie did some.”
I couldn’t picture that girl doing something like this, but nonetheless it made me smile. “This is amazing.”
“Really?” he asked with obvious surprise.
I looked over and the look on his face let me know how
much this mattered to him, that I accepted who he was and what he did here.
If only I could’ve grabbed my past self by the shoulders and shaken some damn sense into her. When I looked at him, I did not see a despicable or diabolic psychopath. I saw a child. My child. And he’d grown into a beautiful, intelligent man with a penchant for something that could only be understood in the inside the walls of the Dahlia.
“Yes, really. You should me see try to draw a circle.”
He graced me with a boyish smile, and my heart melted.
“So, you’re here to stay then?” he asked, switching gears once more.
“Is that okay?”
That earned me an inquisitive look. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because I never was when I should have been.”
We were in the hall again when he replied, “None of us can go back and change what happened.”
I agreed with a subtle nod.
“Besides, you’re here now, so am I. I’d say that gives us plenty of time for me to get to know who you are.”
I agreed with that too, but in order to keep myself together I just squeezed his arm. I could’ve loved Julian just for taking care of our son and helping him become who he was. My heart still loved him as much as it did the first time, I’d gotten to hold him. I didn’t remember everything yet, but I remembered that.
We exited the corridor and waiting on the other side was the devil himself. He was scrolling through his phone, immediately putting it away when he spotted us. His eyes shifted from me to Mason.
“The package got here alright?” Julian asked him.
“Ethan made sure it came in just fine. There might be a few bang-up spots but nothing too drastic.”
“Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I’m going to check on Katie,” Mason announced now that their cryptic word exchange was over, leaving us after he placed a soft kiss on my cheek. I wanted to run after him and tackle him with a bearhug, but, baby-steps.
“What was that about?” I queried.
Malevolence (Dahlia Saga Book 4) Page 8