“What are you doing?” she breathed, not a hint of fear on her pretty face. Memories or not, she still trusted me.
“I’m proving my point like I told you I would.”
With the same knife I slit Kieran’s throat with, I cut apart her dress off her.
“Jules?” She questioned when I moved away to turn on my electric burner.
I returned to the chair and adjusted her as best as I could, pulling my painfully hard cock out and bringing her legs around me. I studied her face to gauge how she was feeling. We’d just done this less than an hour ago, but I could have lived inside of her if it were humanly possible. I needed to be as close to her as I could.
“I’m okay,” she said softly. “I trust you.”
She’d barely finished her sentence before I buried myself inside her with one thrust, balls deep. The loud gasp she made quickly changed to continuous moans and screams as I fucked her into the leather. I took in her every facial expression.
Pulling out of her dripping cunt, I hurried to my electric burner and grabbed what I’d placed on top.
I stared down at her for a moment once I was back by her side. She looked up at me still curious as to what I was doing. I saw her scars, the one on her chest the most noticeable. For the most part they were like mine, the same color as her skin. She was perfection, after all these years.
Gripping the piece of metal that I’d just heated over the burner; I moved my closed hand to her upper thigh, quickly, so the heat lasted, and pressed it into her skin, clamping a hand over her mouth to muffle her screaming when I switched to the other leg.
I honestly didn’t plan on taking it any further. This in general was something I had planned for when she was ready to come in here with me, I hadn’t expected that to be so soon and I was never one to waste an opportunity.
Without warning, she bit me. I grunted, wrenching my hand from her mouth. I looked down at the teeth marks, then back to her tear stained face.
“Well, that wasn’t very nice.” Peeling the J away from her skin I smiled at the letter now burned into her flesh, right where the old one was. I tossed the piece of metal across the room, and then slipped back inside her, roughly.
She was close. I could feel it in the way she gripped my cock like a vise. Hear it in her hitched breathing and loud repetitious moans. She felt fucking amazing, still trying to widen her legs and take all of me, further proving my earlier point. I could have fucked her in that blood-stained chair all night long.
Picking the pace up, I thrust harder, feeling the sweat rolling down my back. Her wrists were red from pulling against her restraints.
“Jules…” she half sobbed half moaned right before her juices flooded over me. Hearing that nickname made me want to pound into her until it became a chant. My balls tightened to the point it physically fucking hurt.
I didn’t let myself come until she came again with me, milking me dry and crying my name. Slowly pulling my flaccid cock from inside her, I swirled my fingers in the come dripping from her pussy, bringing it up to smear in her burns, just as I had the first time, I wrote my name on her flesh.
Epilogue
I smiled into my pillow, feeling his fingers dance over my hip.
“You were supposed to be up an hour ago,” he mused.
“I would have been if someone didn’t wake me up in the middle of the night. Again.”
“You weren’t complaining when my cock was inside your ass.”
“Didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.”
His chuckle rumbled through his chest.
“I’m not young enough to go seventy rounds every day anymore. You know I could barely walk after you added the L to my thighs.”
“Perhaps we should invest in a wheelchair.”
I tried not to laugh because I knew he was being an ass and meant that. He couldn’t keep his hands off me. I’d never felt as alive as I had the past two months since we’d been back together. Not every day was good. That wasn’t realistic. We had a long path of healing ahead of us and it would take time. Sometimes we each had to step back for a few hours, but he was always there to hold me that same night.
“How are the voices?” he asked, turning into my serious, no-bullshitting Julian.
“Not as bad as last week.” I traced an invisible pattern into the bedspread in front of my face.
“That’s still progress.” He placed a kiss on my shoulder and rolled out of bed. He was so full of energy all the time. I was a little jealous.
“Get your ass up. We’ve got somewhere to be.”
“I know,” I yawned.
“And I have something for you.”
I popped my head up. “You do?”
“You’re too fucking spoiled Morgana. Get up.” He stalked into the bathroom, slamming the door when I laughed.
I stared out over the canyons, unable to believe we were here. Julian and I, together, sitting on a replica of the car I once sent over the edge.
“It’s beautiful.”
“Up here, yes. Not so much at the bottom.”
“Julian!” I turned to glare at him, my anger fading the second I spotted the ring he was holding between his fingers.
“Is that…?”
“It’s the same one,” he confirmed.
I swallowed and glanced away. “Are you sure you want to give it back to me?”
“Is that a trick question?”
“No,” I sighed. “But you say all the time that I’m different.”
“You are. You’re not stuck in a shell anymore.”
“I still feel like me, though,” I clarified.
“For fucks sake,” he muttered, grabbing hold of my hand.
“You’re right. We’re different, we both are. That’s what happens when you grow older. I wasn’t the man I should have been for you back then, and you were a basket-case of epic fucking proportions.”
I couldn’t challenge that; it was all true.
“You’re stressing over nothing when the answer to all your problems is very simple.”
“Is it?”
“You’re mine. Selfishly. Entirely. Undeniably. Mine. Every single version of you, even when you’re trying to kill me.” He slid my ring onto my finger. “And every piece of me is yours.” He brought my hand to his mouth, placing a kiss on the back of it.
I would never be able to fathom how he let me back into his life so easily, still unable to wrap my head around how much he cared after all this time. I was grateful and would never take him for granted. “I love you.” I leaned into his side, keeping hold of his hand.
“I’ll love you always.” He held me tighter, placing another kiss on the top of my head.
We stayed there for a while longer, comfortable silence enveloping us. This was the same road it all started on, where it ended, and now where it all came full circle.
My memory was still riddled with bullet holes. Some I was glad hadn’t filled back in, like the actual wreck. I didn’t want to see that. Ever. Maybe that made me a coward, but I don’t think I could handle seeing us in that state.
If I wanted to, I’m sure I could have, but I think this was my minds way of protecting itself. There were things Julian had done to me, that he told me about in detail so if the memory came back, I wouldn’t be caught off guard. Otherwise, I was okay with where I was right then.
I understood the old me and the new were one in the same, but at the same time different.
Both of us were broken and damaged by no fault of our own, and always would be. She was younger. I was older. I went to the man beside me when the demons in my head got loud again, knowing he wouldn’t let them drag me down. She’d tried to take them on by herself and it almost cost her everything.
There was a warped co-dependency at the basis of our relationship.
I needed him.
He was my anchor.
He was the umbrella and the torrential downpour.
What we had was never conventional or ordinary. It was
vile and twisted, but beautiful too. It worked for who we were as individuals and I didn’t give a damn what anyone thought about it. It was plain to see that we were simply meant to be. Madness was the man I loved, and sanity was overrated.
I could sit by his side and be perfectly content with the path we were on now.
I wasn’t one for long good-byes, especially since we would see every person standing in the driveway in a few weeks.
Morgana had insisted.
Since she had occasional ownership of my balls these days, here we were.
“I wonder how many more you would have had if things were different,” Luca pondered aloud.
“She said six, so thank fuck that ship has sailed.” I watched her kiss the twins for tenth time. Truthfully, I would have kept her pregnant. She’d have been something like a Dutch oven. We never got to raise a child together, and the more Andreous in the world the better.
“I saw the new doctor.”
“Doctors, I hired three and a handful of nurses. We need a better clinic here until the hospital is zoned.”
“Okay, that’s great except I was specifically interested in the blonde.”
“She’s the sister of an investor,” I reminded him.
“That’s even better.”
I had no words for him regarding that. I didn’t care what he did or who if it got his current wife shoved into an oil-drum.
“Speaking of doctors. What did you tell Mo happened to Thomas?”
“Morgana,” I corrected him. “I told her the truth. He left here and never went back home.”
Luca laughed. “Oh, so your version of the truth then.”
I shrugged. I was more open with her now than I’d ever been before, but I made sure she knew versions of events how I wanted them to appear. It was for the greater good. I wanted her to live without all the shit from our past adding to the guilt and sorrow she was already toting around. I refused to let her mind revert or digress as Thomas had suggested.
So, I didn’t go into details about her family because to my knowledge her parents had passed on and we were never close, which was true. I just didn’t mention how they died. She didn’t remember her sister yet, and if she did I sure as fuck wouldn’t be giving full disclosure on that subject.
I wasn’t too worried about it either way. I could handle her easier now than in the past.
“You deserve to be happy Julian.” Luca added quietly.
“A lot of people would argue that fact.”
“Those people aren’t our kinds of people. So, fuck em.”
“My sentiments exactly.”
I’d never cared what anyone thought of me. I cared less when it came to this. Morgana and I were always meant to be together. Our love was story was morbid and bittersweet, but it was ours, and I wouldn’t give it up for anything or anyone.
She hugged Mason and then looked down the small congregation she’d gathered as if she hadn’t already told everyone goodbye more than once.
Bab’s grinned at me knowingly, and kindly shooed her away. That woman would get a raise if I actually paid her.
Morgana finally turned and headed towards me, smiling happily.
“I’m ready.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to tell the dogs anything else?” I pulled open the passenger door of my car so she could get in.
“Bye, Luc.” She hugged him too, and he grinned at me over her shoulder, knowing I couldn’t stand when she called him that.
“Morgana you’re acting like we’ll be gone for a goddamn year.” I removed her from my brother’s arms and physically guided her into the passenger seat.
“Hug?” Luca held his arms open.
I ignored him, circling around to the driver’s side and getting in.
“You didn’t tell anyone bye,” Morgana pointed out the minute I put the car in gear.
“I told everyone bye the same night I announced we were going on an extremely late honeymoon and they’d better not fuck up my Dahlia.”
“I think the boys have it covered,” she yawned.
If they somehow couldn’t, Luca was there, and Porter would be coming in before us. The busiest season of the year was about to kick off, bringing with it lots of changes and a new way of networking. There was a family like ours coming in when Porter did. I was curious to see how that panned out.
Honestly, I knew Declan, Ethan, and Mason could handle everything just fine. They were raised for this. And they needed the practice.
“You’re the one who didn’t want to leave.” I pointed out.
“I just really like being home.”
I reached over and took hold of her hand. I’d never get tired of hearing her say that.
“And what are you going to do without the play-rooms? Wilt and suffer in a ball of misery?”
I laughed under my breath. “You think I didn’t make sure we’d be involved in some extracurricular activities?”
“You’re so bad, Jules,” she sighed, “But I love you.”
Like the teddy bear she was trying to turn me into, my heart clenched in my chest. I placed a kiss on the back of her palm. “I’ll love you always.”
Iniquity
October 2019
Sequel to Depravity
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Excerpt
My worn sneakers moved over uneven terrain. Not for the first time since I’d left the house, my phone began to vibrate in my pocket, interrupting the quiet. I still had issues with using one of these devices. I knew how to tell who was calling, though.
Ethan.
Ten minutes before it had been Declan.
I had to hurry. The chateau was just up ahead. Hannibal followed alongside me, his golden tail wagging steadily. There was a twist in my lower stomach I couldn’t identify. I was getting better with understanding emotions, but some still were beyond my realm of knowledge. I didn’t like this one. It came directly after I decided I would take Katie’s advice from three weeks ago.
I kept going and tried to think of a reason why I had not answered their calls.
If they happened to be waiting at our home I would have to explain where I was.
I would rather not.
Promises were sacred and I had broken mine two times. They would be the disappointed.
I couldn’t see how my fixing was wrong unless I did it in front of them. They’d said they understood it. My Ethan and my Declan. They knew my sickness demanded to be fed. So why did I have to keep doing things inside the same room? It was starting to feel suffocating.
They wouldn’t like this, though, and it was too late to undo what I’d done. The man from before and now the woman from today. They needed my help. They came with me willingly to my spot in the woods. I still had to come back today because I promised them, I’d make them better. As soon as I got to my needles I would return.
I emerged from the woods and brushed off my jeans. Hannibal released a soft whine and moved closer to my side. I followed his line of sight to the Dahlia’s secured gates.
A car idled in the road with someone sitting in the passenger seat. Another person stood by the gates. A woman with hair a shade darker than mine.
“Hello,” I greeted as was custom.
She turned away from the speaker-box quickly. Eyes the color of a muddy river focused on me. “Hi! Do you live here?”
“Yes.”
“Great, you can help me then. I’m looking for a Helena Gardener.”
“She’s here.”
“Great!” The woman twisted around and made a signal with her hands for the person in the car. When she faced me again there was a small tilt to her lips. “Can you let her know I’m here?”
“Who are you?” If she was with the woman in the woods, I would have to figure out something to do with her too. I stroked Hannibal’s head and continued towards the gates.
“Uh…I’m her sister.”
I stopp
ed.
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Malevolence (Dahlia Saga Book 4) Page 10