by Alex Leu
“Mmm, this is really good Ca...” she stopped herself, unsure of what to call it, him. She looked away and continued to eat.
Cap was overwhelmed with joy. After years of cooking the same breakfast for her, he finally got it right. He picked up his silverware and took a bite. His cyborg model didn’t need to eat to stay alive, but he wasn’t going to let that opportunity pass away for him to taste what it really felt like to share a breakfast with her. It was definitely better than plugging into a wall to recharge. It was his new favorite thing to do, his first favorite thing.
In that instant, any idea or thought about retiring himself completely left his consciousness. That shared moment with her became something he would be willing to stay alive forever.
Julie caught his eyes staring at her and smiled.
‘Forever.’
Cap looked at the big metropolis around them, Sector A, the city of masters and servants, of humans and cyborgs. For a brief moment, he felt out of place because he didn’t know which one of the two he was. But it didn’t matter, because whatever he was now, he was able to be with her.
Sitting in Richard’s chair, the master’s chair, he now wanted to serve more than ever, he wanted to serve on his own. And he was ready to do everything and anything she wanted.
“What do you say if we take a walk today?” said Julie.
She asked, again. It was still hard to get used to such a thing. Cap smiled and nodded.
“We could go see the...” said Julie and with that phrase, she immediately put an end to the lovely morning.
The words activated Cap’s backup antenna and it began searching for the best routes to the things she would have wanted to see, and the things he absolutely didn’t want her to hear, Richard’s message.
Within moments, Sector A’s central server re-updated and fixed Cap’s internal system, deleting in the process any doubts he had about his place in the world.
Sparks flew from the burnt antenna at the back of Cap’s head and his body froze for a few moments during the update. Then, when he realized where he was sitting, Cap immediately pushed his chair away from the table, got up, and pushed Richard’s chair back and spoke, almost through his teeth, words that he could not stop from coming out of him.
Julie watched Cap’s transformation in terror, unwilling to let go of the peace she so desperately needed.
“Mrs. Davis, I have a message for you from Richard.”
Julie’s eyes shined with tears and she dropped the silverware on the plate, a sound that was duller than any sharp words Cap was about to say. His mouth opened to speak and he realized that he was never going to be worthy of sitting next to Julie, of serving her on his own, because he was made to always obey someone else’s wishes rather than his. Cap gave up fighting himself and succumbed to serving, even if it hurt her, because that was who he was, and always would be.
Richard’s voice, the master’s, spoke through the servant’s lips as Cap played the message for Julie.
“Hey Jules,” said Richard.
Tears slid down Julie’s face as she slowly came back to the painful reality.
“I miss your food, Cap is a terrible cook.”
Julie smiled through her tears, hanging on Richard’s every word.
“Everything tastes like it’s missing the main ingredient, your hands.”
Julie broke down crying and leaned on the table burying her head under her hands.
“Sorry Jules, but bringing you wasn’t an option. These guys just don’t know when to give up. Unless they run out of ammo, we may never...”
Julie’s sobs shook the table and pushed her fork to the edge and it fell on the balcony floor with a sharp ting.
Cap immediately moved to pick up the fork when a few sparks flew away from the back of his head, then more and more, like a waterfall of miniature fireworks. His internal system exploded with red flashing error messages and his battery was quickly draining, failing.
Cap stumbled towards the fork when suddenly his vision blurred and he lost his balance. His heavy body smashed against the banister, denting and bending it.
Julie rushed towards him grabbing and pulling at his hands but Cap was way heavier than she could handle.
A cold wind blew at Cap as his motionless body slowly pushed the banister out of line with the building. He regained focus in his vision and saw the millions of dots far below him on the street, dots he was about to join. Cap desperately tried to grab onto something but his body wasn’t listening to him, and he could only watch as the banister caved under his weight.
Fear set in, not of dying, but fear of losing the thing that he wanted to cling on to most, and that was now clinging on to him.
He watched Julie as she struggled to pull him away from the banister.
He watched her as she got smaller and smaller and got farther away from him, until she became a dot, until she disappeared and everything went black.
6
ALMOST IN AN INSTANT, though possibly a lot longer, a warm soothing sound called on to him.
Cap opened his eyes to see what was the music that spoke his name and saw nothing but white. Pure white, everywhere, he couldn’t even see his own body. But he continued to hear his name, like a melody, sang by an angel's voice, Julie’s.
A small dot glimmered in the distance, getting bigger and bigger, until he recognized her shape, and soon saw her face.
“Cap, are you OK?” said Julie.
A question that coming from her was in itself healing.
Julie filled his entire vision and Cap finally saw his body and regained his senses. He was laying on a metallic bed in a big white room, a long cable was plugged into his neck feeding him energy.
A masked figure in blue overalls gave Julie a small dark box and she approached Cap with it.
“Seems like you needed a new one,” said Julie as she pressed the box into Cap’s chest.
Immediately Cap’s system flashed with messages and diagnostics. [New Battery Installed Successfully.]
Julie continued to install new pieces into his chest and smiled at him. Cap didn’t understand why she was doing it, serving him like that when she didn’t have to, when it wasn’t her job. But it seemed to be something she wanted, something that even made her a little happy. And that was the only thing that mattered, and maybe the reason why he wanted to serve her too. Because serving one another, without orders, was the purest form of serving, and the only serving Cap wanted to do from now on.
Julie saved him from physical retirement, but more importantly, she saved him from a surrendered existence, one that someone else decided for him. Cap lay on the table, happy for the choice he was given, happy to have someone to give back to. He cherished every gesture of Julie’s kindness, understanding that true serving also meant accepting others serving him, and that without it he would never be able to serve well. He watched every movement she made, waiting, patiently, for his turn to give.
7
THE NEXT DAY, BACK at home, Cap didn’t want to let Julie mourn all day in her bedroom, and decided to do something nice for her.
As soon as the sun rose, he called Julie out of her room. She didn’t want to come out at first, but he kept on calling and then knocking at her bedroom door until she finally came out into the living room.
“Cap?” said Julie standing in the middle of the living room alone. “Cap, where are you?”
Julie turned around looking everywhere and smiled when she saw why Cap called her out. She approached the piano and caressed its sparkling black body, its shining strings and inviting keys. Cap had cleaned the piano as if it was brand-new, taking her back to the days when she played it every day, to the days she had reasons to play it, lots more reasons than things she was now storing on top of it.
“Would you please, play for me?” said Cap stepping out from behind a curtain. The 'me' still rang in his memory, it was his first, and he was afraid not to scary her, but Julie didn’t mind. She nodded and smiled, and Cap pulled the lit
tle bench out from under the piano and helped Julie sit comfortably.
“Thank you,” said Julie. “Now please sit in the chair.”
Cap looked around the room and the only chair was his, Richard’s. Cap was both honored and afraid, but he couldn’t refuse Julie and sat in it.
“What would you like me to play for you?”
'For you.' Words he never hoped to hear, especially from Julie. He was just happy to see her smile, happy that cleaning the piano worked. Yet he couldn’t lie to her and ask for a song she liked, it had to be something he really enjoyed, because sometimes, as he was beginning to understand, the best serving was to just accept being served, to give and to take.
“Would you please play,” said Cap almost trembling, “Clair de Lune?”
Julie smiled. She straightened her posture and placed her fingers on the keys.
She played the first notes, and then more and more followed like pearls on a string, all beautiful, and all for him, all from her. As beautiful as the original was, this was an entirely new musical piece, an original Julie was playing for Cap, and he cherished every note, until they sounded different, until they deviated and completely stopped.
Julie dropped her hands and looked away trying to hold her tears.
Cap got up and approached her. Almost instinctively she slid sideways on the bench, and he sat next to her. Julie leaned on him and Cap held her frail body in his arms. His internal alarms flashed with messages and errors to avoid this type of contact, but he didn’t care, because he knew it was the right type, the type she needed at that moment, and he was the only one available to hold her, the only one she had left.
“I'm sorry, I made a mistake,” said Julie.
“It was beautiful,” said Cap. “Sometimes mistakes can be beautiful too.”
Julie looked at him, surprised, and thankful for his understanding and kindness, qualities she never expected from him but was so grateful he had them, so grateful she had him.
Julie took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Her fingers gently landed on top of the keys and slowly the music flowed out of her like a river on dry land, bringing it back to life, until it stopped abruptly.
“I'm so sorry, I can't...” said Julie.
Her eyes glimmered with built up tears, and she held onto Cap, not wanting to let him see her cry.
It was hard for him to understand why she couldn’t finish the song. It was just a matter of playing the right notes, one after the other, but something was stopping her. Was it him or something else, possibly something he couldn’t see or comprehend? The thought scared Cap, and he looked around the room for anything that he could use to explain her behavior. He noticed the photo on the piano, Richard’s photo that he put down. It was back up, and most likely the source of her pain that he tried to protect her from. She had put the photo back up and that’s why she couldn’t finish the song, that’s why him not delivering Richard’s full message, despite his orders, was helping her.
Cap struggled to understand why he was created only to follow orders when that sometimes hurt the ones he served. Was hurting a part of the serving? It seemed that following orders blindly didn’t make him a good servant, and that by occasionally breaking the rules, he made Julie happier, even more alive.
Julie held onto Cap, both smiling and crying, confusing him more than anything else before. What was she feeling, or thinking? Was she happy about the things she was crying about, or sad because of the things she was happy about?
To Cap, her behavior was like a pair of “-” and “+”, and he knew that theoretically, an equation containing both signs would balance itself out. But Julie was not an equation. Instead of balancing the contradictions out, her smile, and even her tears were so much more together, and so beautiful to watch. It made Cap both happy and sad to see Julie like that, and he knew at that moment, that the “-” and “+” of his emotions, even though digital, would not balance out to nothing, that they too meant more, at least for him, and hopefully for her too.
Cap understood the exact and precise world of his kind, but the world of humans couldn't be described in his language of 0's and 1’s. And he wondered if maybe there was another, a third number that he wasn’t given and that the humans possessed, because the 0’s and 1’s were not enough for him to fully understand Julie. And he longed for that. He longed for more, for becoming something else, something beyond the rules of his existence, something closer to human, to her.
Julie’s tears dried on her cheeks, and she slowly fell asleep in Cap’s lap. He lifted her into his arms and carried Julie to her bedroom.
Looking at her sleep, Cap wondered if there was anything more beautiful in the world than seeing her rest so peacefully. And now he was determined more than ever to preserve that peace, at any cost.
Cap gently closed the bedroom door and stood in the living room contemplating what to do. But it seemed that the error messages flashing in his vision knew even before him that a solution was found. From deep inside him, a voice grew louder, a voice he now trusted, because it didn’t carry commands, but decisions that he himself made.
Cap went into the kitchen and looked for the biggest knife he could find. He grabbed it and violently stabbed the back of his head, cutting apart everything that was standing in his way of giving Julie what she needed, everything that was keeping him connected to the past, to the way he used to be.
He cut out his main antenna, and then searched for the hidden backup one. It didn’t take long before Cap found the last string that was keeping him in check, like a chain holding him prisoner to the ways of the past. And he knew from his own system alerts, that he was holding the right cable, standing between Julie's pain and her happiness. A simple cut and no more updates, no more messages, no more suffering.
He may have failed his master, but he was not going to fail Julie. And his only mission would now be to make her happy, to truly serve her in the way that she needed to be served.
[But how?]
Cap thought he knew, but now that the map would be taken away from him, he felt scared knowing that he would have to figure out every little thing on his own. Still, to him, it was just 0’s and 1’s, but to Julie, it was the rest of her life, and Cap knew he absolutely had to make it better, he had to find a way.
And if he was about to make a mistake, it was better for him to decay away in Sector C, than for Julie to lose her peace, her sanity. That was something he could not allow.
Cap ignored all his alerts, errors, worries, and slashed the backup antenna’s power cable, going rogue, off the grid, going on the only path that led to her smile. Now he was finally free to make her happy.
8
A PUNGENT SMELL FILLED Julie’s breathing passages and pushed its way into her lungs. It awoke her from a deep sleep. ‘Something’s burning. Fire!’ She got up in bed alarmed.
But this time she knew the difference and sat on the bed enjoying the delicious smells coming from the kitchen.
She got up and smiled as she opened the curtains and let the morning sun fill her with warmth. Then she put on her favorite pajama and slowly brushed her hair getting ready for a beautiful morning.
“It smells good,” said Julie leaving the bedroom. Then she entered the kitchen and froze in horror.
There was food on the stove, half cooked, but the stove was off and Cap wasn’t around it. He was face down on the floor with a hole in the back of his head and wires sticking out.
“Cap...” said Julie gasping for air.
Three armed men in black military uniform surrounded Cap, two of them were restraining him, the leader stepped toward Julie and pulled her away from the scene.
“Mrs. Davis, please excuse the intrusion...” said the leader.
“Intrusion? What are you doing to my private property... What are you doing to Cap?”
“Mam, our records show that you are currently leasing this C.A.P. cyborg.”
The leader’s words were like a sharp slap back to reality for Julie, she c
ouldn’t stand to hear Cap being described like that.
The leader continued, “And it looks like this particular C.A.P. is malfunctioning and tried to escape its duties. By the contract, which you and your husband signed, we must repossess it.”
No! Julie wanted to scream and launched towards Cap. The leader immediately caught her by the arm and forced Julie to sit down in a chair.
“Mrs. Davis, please calm down. We apologize for any inconvenience this model has caused you. If you would like, we can replace it with an identical model.”
“No! I want to keep this one.”
“I’m afraid that’s impossible. This model has sustained considerable damage to make it unfit, and honestly, we can’t guarantee your safety around it anymore.”
Julie sank in the chair staring at Cap who was on the floor in a frozen state, only his eyes followed her.
“What will happen to him?” said Julie.
“Due to the severe violations, it will be sentenced to Sector C for trying to escape its duties as a companion.”
“But he didn’t do anything wrong,” Julie slid down to the floor in tears.
The leader reached for Julie’s arm to help her.
“Don’t touch me!” said Julie pushing his hands away.
“Boss?” said one of the soldiers holding a wireless control tablet. “We found something.”
“What is it?” said the leader.
“Diagnostics shows that this C.A.P. has a high priority task still marked as uncompleted.”
“We don’t have time for this,” said the leader, “pack him up.”
“Please, tell me. What is it?” said Julie getting back on the chair.
Cap’s eyes stared at Julie, hoping she would change her mind, hoping she would not let him hurt her.
“It’s a message,” said the soldier. “Looks like it was sent by a Mr. Davis. Is that your husband?”
Julie nodded. Her eyes glimmered as she looked at Cap, conflicted, both wanting to hear the message and delay it, hoping it will keep Cap longer, and afraid to be left completely alone.