Doug's real love was the sea, a passion not shared by Sassy, who merely tolerated his boat to spend more time with him. It bothered Doug that Sassy seldom encouraged him to talk about his work, steering the conversation away from fishing whenever she could. She told him often enough that she would rather spend time with him alone, than at gatherings with other couples that were his friends. He knew his friends bored her and that the boat was nothing more than a place for them to meet. He also knew that Sassy had little interest in Homer, the sea, or anything else that was his passion. He was well aware that Sassy used Doug's closeness with his brother to try to get him to move to Palmer permanently. No matter how hard she tried, though, Doug also knew that she would never convince him to give up his boat for her. He guessed she had decided that her visits to Homer and his to Palmer would be enough to keep their relationship going, not that he hadn't heard the rumors about more than a few guys hanging around Sassy's place when he was out of town.
Although he didn't particularly like it, he figured that's the way it went in this type of relationship. In spite of her denials of sleeping with other men, he took no chances and protected himself when they had sex. As often as Sassy had hinted broadly at wanting their relationship to become more permanent, she had also told him that life was for living. Doug figured that since he had done nothing to make their relationship officially exclusive, there was little he could say.
Sassy wanted to keep her options open, she had told him, although any time he wanted to make things more permanent, he should let her know. More than once she had reminded him that after spending two years of her life with Steve Bitten before he ran out on her, she was not going to get herself in a situation like that again—not without a firm commitment, and maybe not even then.
Doug rode back up the riverbank and waited for Sassy to catch up with him.
“I was wonderin’ when you were going to come back up here,” Sassy said, leaning from her horse to kiss his cheek.
“Sorry I took so long,” he answered, pulling her over onto the saddle behind him. Sassy rested her head on Doug's shoulder, making him forget about the thoughts that had clouded his mind today.
The two watched a spectacular sunset before climbing down and allowing the horses to drink from the river. Once the sun had fallen below the horizon, looming darkness turned them back toward Dan and Ellie's bunkhouse. The horses knew the way and within the hour, they were back home.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Midnight
SASSY RODE UP THE DRIVEWAY AHEAD OF DOUG TO THE BUNKHOUSE. By the time he caught up with her, she was already inside, having left her horse tied to the corral for Doug to unsaddle and brush down. As Doug passed the hangar, he noticed that the door was slightly open and wondered why Dan had forgotten to lock it, as was his usual custom. He was sure it had been locked when he left to go riding with Sassy. For an instant he thought about going inside to check things out, but things seemed quiet around the homestead and he was anxious to get inside. The bare silhouette of Sassy standing in the doorway against the light of the rising full moon made him forget about the hangar door as he hurried to tie up his horse and head directly to the bunkhouse.
Later, looking at Sassy lying asleep on the bed with her blond hair flung about her pillow and her black eyeliner smudged across her cheek, Doug found himself feeling empty and lacking the willingness to fall asleep beside her. He was beginning to realize more and more that there was little he felt for her beyond a physical attraction. Lately he had found even that waning. Doug knew that like the others, he would leave her one day whether she wanted him to or not. Although Sassy was outwardly sweet, she had an undercurrent of intensity that troubled him sometimes, and he had heard too many rumors about her and some of the other guys around the Valley. Besides, she was getting too possessive lately and now even talking about marriage and rings.
“You coming to bed, Dougy,” she mumbled.
“No. Not yet. I need to check on the horses,” he answered, watching Sassy roll over and fall back asleep before he even finished his sentence.
Doug pulled on his jeans and the rest of his clothes and went back out to the yard to check on the horses, unsaddle them, and make sure they had water. Inside their stalls, he filled the food bins with the proper ration of fresh feed for each horse, all the while feeling guilty about having made the animals wait for such basic comfort. He then led the horses inside and put each in its respective stall. After covering each of them with an insulated blanket, he left them to eat.
Thor was not in the barn where Doug had left him, but Doug didn't worry. He knew the dog was probably sleeping with Anna. Sassy didn't like Thor and Thor kept his distance from her. Doug and Anna had made a pact that she would let Thor out when Sassy was not around. In return, he made sure she had full control over how many treats Thor was allowed to have each day. The young girl did a remarkable job of making sure that no one in the household overfed Thor either with treats or with people food.
Thinking about the horses and about Thor right now gave Doug a strange feeling. He disliked the selfish edge that Sassy seemed to bring out in him. It was a side of himself that he found troubling and decidedly oblique to his usually considerate character. Lately he had become increasingly less willing to forgive himself for giving in to his own growing selfishness. Even his friends in Homer had stopped calling as often to include him in things they all used to like to do together. And, of course, there was Ellie, his sweet sister-in-law, who Doug could easily see was hardly able to disguise her aversion to Sassy. How unlike her it was to display even the hint of dislike for anyone.
Entering the hangar from the inside door in the barn, he was surprised to see through the partially open hangar door that Mara's SUV was still out in the yard. He hadn't seen it tucked over in the shadows near the house when he rode in. Hadn't she told him she was leaving today? Apparently she had decided to stay one more day. He walked to the outside door of the hangar, intending to pull it fully closed so he could apply the lock. It was then that he realized that not only was the hangar empty, but that the lights were still on in Dan's house. Dan and Ellie were early risers and usually went to bed about ten every night. It was now well past midnight. Something was wrong.
Doug clicked the padlock closed on the hangar door and hurried to the house. He could see Mara huddled over a sobbing Ellie who was sitting at the kitchen table. Not even bothering to knock, he pushed his way in.
“What's going on? Where's Dan? Where's Dan's plane? Why are you crying Ellie? Mara…?” The questions came out in a staccato barrage that left no time for the answers he already surmised, but didn't want to hear.
“The troopers left about two hours ago, Doug,” Mara said somberly. “It's Dan…”.
“What do you mean its Dan?” Doug barked at Mara, stopping her in mid sentence.
“Take a deep breath and sit down, Doug,” she answered. “We don't want to wake Anna. She thinks Dan is just overdue.”
Doug sat as instructed as Mara continued.
“The troopers said that Dan's plane was found in some brush along the Chulitna River just south of Trapper Creek around 3 p.m. today.”
“What!” Doug said, jumping up from his chair.
“Doug,” Mara continued, gently pushing Doug back down into his chair, “They said there's no sign of Dan—or anyone else for that matter.” The plane is a total loss. All they could find were belongings scattered for about two hundred feet behind the crash site.”
“What are you saying?” Doug was out of his chair again. “Did he hit a tree or something?”
“Nothing so obvious,” Mara answered. “At this point they don't know what happened to bring the plane down. They said there is no sign of Dan and that a fresh snow that has been falling has covered any possible tracks.”
“No! I don't even want to hear that!” Doug gasped. “Dan had survival gear. You know that, Ellie. Dan always carried plenty of survival gear in case he got weathered in along the way. I mean, every
person in every cabin from here to Cantwell knows his plane. Hell, Dan supplied groceries to or delivered the babies of half the bush rats out there. No way was he not prepared. Did they find his survival gear? Because if they didn't, then Dan is still alive.”
“Dan's survival gear was found in the plane along with his GPS locator taped to the yoke. There's a search going on and there has been ever since several 911 calls reported seeing the plane go down in a wooded area north of the river on the west side of the Parks Highway.”
“Then what are we doing here?”
Doug jumped up from the table and grabbed his coat. Mara tried to continue while he twisted himself into his heavy canvas jacket.
“They said it's a remote area with no roads,” Mara continued. “The weather has closed in and is hampering their search and they have pretty much had to shut down for the night. They're going to start up again at first light if the weather clears a bit. They said something about using heat seeking detectors to see if they can pick up anything within a twenty mile radius of the cr—r—ash-h-h-h…”
A sob shook Mara as the obvious similarities with her own loss of Brad in a plane crash now began overtaking her emotions.
“I'm sorry…” she choked on the words, not having time to finish her sentence before Doug had whirled around and headed out the door.
“Damn! Why didn't I check that hangar door when I got back and saw it opened?” He chastised himself as he walked.
“I'm going up there!” he called back to the two women.
“They said there's nothing you can do till morning,” Ellie squeaked through her tears.
“Hell there isn't, Ellie!” He shot back. “We'll see about that!”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Saddle the Horses
THE SOUND OF DOUG BURSTING THROUGH THE BUNKHOUSE DOOR JOLTED Sassy awake.
“What's going on?” she mumbled sleepily.
Sitting up in bed, she saw Doug grab his duffle bag and start throwing in food, blankets, clothes, and even a pair of snowshoes he had to supplement the ones he carried in his truck.
“Get dressed, Sassy. Now!” He barked at the groggy mess of half-naked woman who sat rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
“Here! Put these on!” He said, throwing a pair of jeans and a sweater on top of her.
“What's wrong? What's going on?” She whined, now fully awake.
“Dan's plane went down and I need you to help get the horses up to Trapper Creek.”
“Dougy. It's the middle of the night. It must be twenty-five below out there. Where have you been anyway?” Sassy kept talking; not seeming to grasp that Doug was talking about his own brother.
“Where's Steve's cell phone number?” Doug demanded, yanking Sassy off the bed into a standing position and pulling her sweater over her bare form.
“I don't know. I don't have it any more, Dougy. You know it's been two years since Steve and I broke up. Why do you want it anyway?”
Sassy was pulling her fingers through her long hair in an attempt to make herself presentable when Doug wheeled around and looked at her with a searing intensity that made her stop what she was doing. Silently she moved to the side of the room and started gathering her things for the trip.
“I'm not a fool,” Doug said, taking a step towards her before stopping himself and speaking with a steadied calm.
“I know you never stopped loving Steve, and I know that he moved back up to Alaska about a month ago. I also know you begged him to come back to you as recently as two weeks ago, so stop playing games and give me the damn number, Sassy.”
Doug grabbed Sassy's purse off the chair by the door and began rifling through it looking for Steve Bitten's phone number.
“Where's the number, Sassy? Steve is the only person who knows that route as well as Dan does and I need him to get his plane ready to help with the search at first light.”
“Okay, Dougy,” Sassy said, stunned by the realization that the truth she thought she had so well hidden was obvious to Doug. The fact that Doug's brother was missing was of less concern to her than the thought that Doug might leave her now like Steve had. Steve had avoided her since coming back to Alaska. She had only learned he was back though a mutual friend, who also told her he had purchased a place up near Trapper Creek.
She had tracked him down there and made him talk to her, baring her soul and hoping against hope that there had been some mistake and that he still loved her like she did him. He had told her in no uncertain terms that he did not.
If Sassy couldn't have Steve, then Doug was the next best thing. Marriage to him would supply the essential link in the chain of her quest for happiness. After all, Doug was handsome, self-sufficient, a lot of fun at parties, as well as her romantic equal. In her mind, aside from Steve Bitten, she could do no better than Doug Williams for a life partner. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a scrap of paper containing the scribbled cell phone number for Steve Bitten and handed it to Doug.
“We could be good together, Dougy. Don't throw away what we have going on over…”
Doug snatched the number from her hand without letting her finish. Ignoring Sassy's attempts to soothe him by rubbing his back, he dialed Steve on his cell phone and made arrangements to meet him at his cabin near Trapper Creek at first light. He was not surprised that Steve had agreed to help. The three of them, he, Dan, and Steve, had been friends, and no matter what had gone on before, it was natural that they would come together at a time like this.
“Get your coat, Sassy. I'm going to need your help with the horses. We can talk about this later. Let's get the horses loaded into the trailer.” Throwing his duffle bag over one shoulder and grabbing Sassy's bag with his free arm, he opened the door with his elbow and edged his way through it.
“We've got work to do and there's no time to waste,” he said, walking down the porch steps to start loading the truck.
“I'll make you love me, Doug,” Sassy said, feeling acutely insecure at seeing this side of him that she had never seen before. “You'll see. We belong together. I won't let you go.”
“Yeah, I know, Baby,” Doug responded without turning back. The truth was that he really didn't care if Sassy wanted Steve back. Their relationship had become more a matter of convenience than anything anyway.
Sassy followed him out into the yard and helped load the horses into the trailer before climbing into the front seat beside Doug. Feeling guilty at his outburst, Doug reached for Sassy, pulling her over to sit close to him in the frosty cold truck. He sat without speaking for the time it took the engine to heat up before abruptly leaning over to kiss Sassy in the lingering way that made her forgive him. He held her close to him as he drove off. He couldn't make a decision about Sassy right now. He could barely think straight knowing that Dan was missing.
Silently, the two drove down the road into the darkness. They slowed to dodge a couple of moose that stood like four legged towers with the underside of their bellies higher than the hood of his three quarter ton truck.
Looking down at Sassy who was now asleep with her head nuzzled into his shoulder, Doug guessed he was grateful to have someone in his life, even if the relationship was not perfect. He felt bad about the way he had taken out his reaction to the news about Dan on her. He knew that she would help him. Maybe Sassy was right; maybe they were good together. He pushed hard on the accelerator after passing through Wasilla. Speeding towards Talkeetna, he hoped there were no cops on the road to slow him down.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Trapper Creek
ABOUT AN HOUR BEFORE FIRST LIGHT, DOUG TURNED INTO THE GAS station at the Talkeetna cutoff. “Why don't you get us a table inside, Babe,” he said to Sassy as he unscrewed the gas cap and began filling his truck. “It's gonna be a long day.”
Not that Doug felt particularly hungry right now, but common sense told him that they would need food to undertake the back country search he had in mind. Nothing was going to happen without light anyway.
Forty-f
ive minutes later they had eaten and driven fifteen miles up the road, where they turned right and headed down a dirt road along a small lake. A long driveway led to an airstrip where a red and white Cessna had just landed. Steve Bitten stepped down from the airplane along with a man wearing the uniform of an EMT.
Doug met the two halfway, giving Steve a hearty handshake as Sassy watched from the truck.
“We've already been up twice,” Steve told him as the three men huddled together. “Nothing so far, but it's been dark. I guess I was hoping we'd find a fire or some sign that Dan is alive.”
The thermometer on Doug's truck read ice, which usually meant that it was at least minus ten degrees. There was a bitterness to the cold today that foretold of snow.
Sassy could see the men's breath rise in the air as they talked. She watched as each of them in turn pulled their jacket collars up close and stuffed their hands in their pockets. Doug was taller than Steve, but not by much. It was strange to watch them there together, the two men whom she loved the most—except for maybe her brother, A.C. The men talked for fifteen minutes or more before Doug returned to the truck and the other two headed into the cabin just past the airstrip where Steve lived.
“They've already been out along Dan's flight path twice now,” he told Sassy as he climbed into the truck and began warming his hands in front of the heater.
“They said they took one turn around about a twenty mile radius from the crash scene. They're going out again as soon as they grab something to eat and then re-fuel.”
Doug blew into his cupped hands to warm them.
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