by E. M. Moore
Lex gazed at me curiously. “I’m not following.”
I tried to make my idea into a more sensible one. “Soren is loyal to Dumont, but just being someone’s slave isn’t enough to win their love. What if we could pull something from his past and use that against him? Show him what Dumont did to him, took him away from his family and made him a servant basically. We could also use our way of life here to show him that it’s not like that everywhere. He didn’t like when I said that Dumont had essentially changed humans into vampires to grow an army. He likes the idea of being family, but he doesn’t know the difference. Dumont hasn’t given him what people crave as their basic needs.”
Lex started to nod. “Let’s give it a try. T.J., I want you to tell Matthews to start research on Soren. Maybe there’s something we can find out about his background. Who were his parents? Brothers? Sisters? Anything we can use to see how different a world Dumont created for him.”
Nic stared at the ground. As T.J. and Lex continued to run with the plan, I walked up to him. “Hey, you okay?”
He nodded. “T.J. doesn’t bother me. I was going easy on him.” He looked up, the dark set in his eyes growing. “I don’t know if you’re on the right track here, Ri. Soren’s right. You are loyal to the person who made you. We might have to find another way to get to Dumont. There’s no way I would give up Mom and Dad if put in his position.”
I grabbed his upper arm. “Of course you wouldn’t. I agree with you a hundred percent there, but you know why you wouldn’t? Just by what you said, Nicolai. You just called them Mom and Dad. What does Soren call Dumont?”
“Dumont.”
“What has Dumont groomed Soren to do?”
He shrugged. “Fight, I guess.”
“Exactly,” I said, my smile growing. “It’s like raising pit bulls to fight. Sure, that might be all they ever know, but they’re not family. They don’t have something worth fighting for. He’s just a pawn to Dumont. If Soren died here, do you think Dumont would mourn him? Don’t you think anyone would feel the difference there? The difference between being loved and just being a chess piece in a game?”
“I don’t know, Ri. I don’t know what the other part of that feels like.”
Heat pricked behind my eyes. “I do. I know exactly how that feels. I know what it’s like to wake up in someone else’s house and realize that you’re definitely not one of them or one of theirs, or even a part of them. It’s like you’re an alien and you’re going through the motions of a happy family. They might pretend to dress you up, take care of you. Hell, they might even be trying their best, but some people, they just don’t have the compassion to care for someone else in that way. From what I’ve heard about Dumont, he’s that person. In fact, he’s worse than that person. He’s the kind of foster parents I had that just took me in for a purpose. Money, other, worse reasons, Nicolai, that you can’t even dream of. They like having power over someone. No matter if they’re twice as big as you, and you’re not half as strong, they still try to make you feel smaller. They bring you into their home to exert their authority over you in ways that would make you cringe if I told you. That’s the kind of figure Dumont is, and trust me, if any of the human is left in Soren, he’ll recognize it for what it is. I can relate to him on this level. After my mom died, I didn’t know what family was until you and your brothers saved me. I told you before, that’s not living. He’ll see that. I know he will. We just have to show him how others live. In safety, in love, in happiness. It’s a world he can’t grasp because it’s possible he’s never seen it before. That’s why he kept trying to get you to react, I bet. He was curious. Why is the prince defending her? She’s just his guard. She’s nothing.”
Nicolai peeked behind my shoulder and then pulled me close. “You’re everything.”
“I know that.” I squeezed his arm and then dropped my hand. “I’ve got a really good feeling about this, Nic. I think we’ve finally got our answer about how to deal with Soren. He’ll come around. I can feel it.”
Nic turned, addressing Lex. “Alert Ariana when the info about Soren’s past comes back. She should be the one to talk to him again.”
“Already planned on it, Nic.” He winked at her, and she just shook her head. “You’re lucky I like you or I might remind you that your father put me in charge of this mission.” Nic smirked and started to lead me up the stairs. Lex called out and we turned. “Good work in there, Stuart. I think you’re on to something.”
I smiled back, my chest lifting in pride. All I wanted to do was help, and it finally looked as if that was happening. A place to start was all we needed. Part of me felt bad for Soren. I’d felt his pain before, and I’d also felt his hopelessness. Maybe there was a chance to save him, too. If he gave up the information—when—he gave up the information, maybe it was possible to acclimate him to our way of living. It was possible he could turn his life around if he knew what living truly meant. Didn’t everyone deserve that chance?
For me, they did.
11
Deciding to wear my dark hair down for tonight’s dinner, I ran a brush through it one more time before checking my reflection in the mirror. In some ways, I was the same girl the Ravanas brought to this world. Most days I even had the same dark smudges under my eyes from lack of sleep, though the causes were vastly different. In the human world, I let my past plague me. A life so riddled in nightmares and stuck in one time frame that not even my conscious knowingly moved in the present. It walked beside me like a distant friend while I motioned my way through life. In this world, it was the here and now and the soon-to-be that made me wake to bloodshot eyes and skin too pale to mask. Truth be told, I’d rather let the future keep me up at night than drown myself in memories. There wasn’t anything anyone could do about history. It was already done and over with. Decisions were made. Feelings were felt. ‘What if’ was a joke. A senseless thought that killed you little by little from the inside out. The future, though. You had control over that, and you even had control over how you handled what was about to happen—and that was a blessing.
Lex, T.J., and Samuel would be picking me up in just a few minutes. We’d been invited to a private dinner at the Ravanas’ second home, the one near The Fort grounds. The one where in Stephan’s upstairs bedroom I lost my virginity no less than forty-eight hours ago. Not that I was counting or anticipating or thinking about any of that. Right? Right. I breathed out, trying to hold all the emotions in.
In some ways, I was different. Fearlessly different. I was the girl I could just barely see through the haze of loneliness back in Calcutta walking down the street with a boy and laughing. Or looking over at her mom and hiding her eye roll. I was the girl I wished I could be. I was the girl who didn’t let her past steer her present. Go me. Some days I felt unstoppable.
Other days? Well, at least these past few days were a whirlwind of nothing. I trained with the help of the princes, kept in contact with Lex and T.J., but the rest of it, though empty, was somehow filled with an urgent foreboding. I had no idea it would take Matthews this long to sort through Soren’s past. If I had, I would’ve told myself to relax earlier. It was impossible now. And on top of that, Gregor had now included me in this dinner the guys suspected would dissolve into planning and strategizing Dumont’s demise. Apparently, Gregor was just as restless as I was on the topic.
I smoothed down the black top I paired with dark wash jeans. I figured the black made me look like a guardian, but the jeans went for a subtle, laid-back look, yet posh style all at the same time. Really, I had no idea if I pulled it off, but it was what I was going for. The guys weren’t all that much help in deciding what I should wear. All I knew was a fancy dress wasn’t called for in this occasion. Thankfully. I was almost at my quota for fancy dresses for the year.
Grabbing a light sweater off my bed, I left my room, locked it, and went straight for the back entrance. A few guards milled around in the common area looking every bit as bored as I was. Shannon, Liv, and Evan invi
ted me—and the princes—over to Evan’s room to play video games with them tonight. At first, we’d agreed, but when the dinner came up, we had to tell them we couldn’t make it. Shannon and Liv took it pretty well, it was Evan who looked like someone had kicked his puppy. Connor sure had endeared himself to him. Good thing too because there was a time when Nicolai wanted to kick his ass. Then again, was there anyone who Nicolai didn’t want to beat the hell out of? I already wasn’t looking forward to another rendition of Nicolai hates T.J. and vice versa. Though I was partial to one in particular, T.J. wasn’t a bad guy. No matter how many times I tried to explain that to Nic though, he never got it. More like, would never listen to me, so some time in the past two days, I just gave up.
The first step out the back entrance was a chilly one. The wind whipped through my hair, and I sighed, trying to gain back control over it. So much for trying to brush it before I left. By the time I got to the house, it would probably be a rats’ nest. A car at the end of the parking lot let out a short beep and I looked over. The interior light came on and Lex waved at me from the driver’s seat. I jogged over to it and pulled the back door open. “Hey.” T.J. smiled at me from the other side of the car while Samuel sat right in front of me. He nearly grunted at my greeting, but both Lex and T.J. gave me a ‘hi’ back.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I sat back to fish it out, then read the message on the screen from Stephan. Are you almost here? I can’t wait to see you.
My heart warmed. He sent me sweet messages all the time now, never failing to bring a smile to my face. I wrote back, Leaving now. See you soon!
Noticing that T.J.’s body was twisted toward mine, I put my phone away. I would hate to have him read over my texts and figure out anything he shouldn’t. “Ready for tonight?” I asked him casually, drawing his attention away.
He shrugged. “Same old stuff for me.”
“Anyone know what this is about?” Lex asked from the front seat. She put the car in reverse and backed up.
I sat back and locked my seatbelt into place before wrapping my arms around myself. Being in the car with a Ravana was one thing, but I was still a little unsure when it was others driving. I would say I was ninety-percent healed from my passenger phobia, but I still had my moments.
“I thought you’d know,” Samuel said, deadpan. “You being so close to the Ravanas and all.”
I tried to look around the seat to capture Samuel’s face, but I could only see the hard line of his jaw. Someone wasn’t very happy about tonight.
Not wanting to betray the princes’ confidence, I kept my mouth shut on the answer. They really hadn’t been that much of a help anyway, only saying that they were sure the dinner would lead into some sort of talk about the future. Why I was going to be there, I wasn’t sure. I probably wouldn’t even be involved in this if Soren hadn’t asked to talk to me instead of anyone else—a thought that still kept me up at night. What made me so special to him? I couldn’t put my finger on it, and it frustrated me to no end.
Lex sighed. “I wasn’t privy to any of the inner workings of the Ravana household. They kept me in the loop, but not that much in the loop.”
Lex eyed Samuel up and down, then finally shrugged. Samuel was almost impossible to get a read on. Most of the time, I thought he hated me. There were only a few times in which I thought it was possible he actually really did like the guard I was becoming.
My phone buzzed again. I tried to ignore it because T.J. was giving me the side eye, but it buzzed two times in a row so I picked it up again. This time the texts were from Connor. The first one read, Princess… And the second, I can’t wait to get my hands on you again.
My goodness. I needed my own personal fan to blow on my face at all times. Especially when I was in front of other people. What were they trying to do? Kill me.
I shook my head and put my phone away. T.J., not even bothering to mask that he was paying attention to me said, “Everything okay?”
“Oh yeah. Everything’s fine.”
I took a deep, leveling breath and spent the rest of the car ride staring out the window. The day was turning into dusk and with it, orange and pink wisps of clouds highlighted the sky. Before long, Lex turned into the Ravana driveway. I let myself out of the car and then waited for the rest of them so we could walk up as a group. Before we even made it to the stairs, Isabelle opened the door, a radiant smile gracing her face. She beckoned us in, and I greeted Connor, Christian, and Stephan awkwardly as if we hadn’t just been texting or seeing one another on a regular basis. “Gregor and Nicolai will be down soon.” She caught my eye and there was a slight falter to her picture perfect exterior.
My alarm bells immediately started going off.
Isabelle led us all into the living room and sat us down like the great hostess she was. The servants brought in a tray of wine glasses sloshing with red liquid for the vampires while Lex, T.J., and I were given a choice of drink. I declined, my eyes wandering toward the stairs. Christian sat next to me, careful to keep his wine glass in his other hand. When Isabelle drew her company into conversation, he turned to me and said, “They’re fighting. Nic told him today he wants to help Lex with the mission. Father didn’t take it very well.”
I cringed. Not surprising, but it was disappointing. I knew how much Nicolai struggled with his duties here and not feeling like he was actually doing anything. “Do you think he’ll come around?” I asked.
Christian shrugged and took a skip. “They are both very stubborn. I’m not sure who will win this one.”
“A Ravana? Stubborn?” I asked, jabbing my elbow into his side.
The corner of his mouth tipped up. “I’m as shocked as you are.”
Stephan came over to sit on the arm of the sofa next to me while Connor resigned himself to sitting in the nearest chair. “How long do you think they’ll be?”
As if on cue, a door upstairs slammed. “Isn’t that what Christian is for?”
Footsteps thundered away, but one, deep growl stopped them. “Nicolai…”
Everyone fell silent around me. T.J. and Lex looked embarrassed, staring off at some of the adornments in the room while Samuel looked toward the stairs, which was exactly where I was looking. My fingers clenched at my sides. I wanted to go to Nic, but I was trapped. Not only by keeping quiet, but also because Nic and Gregor’s relationship was their own. Me intervening wouldn’t do any good, it would probably only make it worse. I would just have to contend myself to asking him about it later, with less eyes around us and hopefully heaps more calm.
Whatever was being said upstairs now, I couldn’t hear. Samuel still gazed that way, and Isabelle looked particularly preoccupied so whatever was happening was just too low for regular old human hearing. The audibly inclined vampires’ faces were impassive, however, so instead of trying to figure it out now, I asked Lex if she’d heard anything from Matthews yet. She looked relieved to have the attention brought on anything else. She smiled. “Not yet. He thinks he’s onto something, but he’s not exactly sure. Matthews is like that. He doesn’t like to get your hopes up just to dash them, but I hope we hear something very soon.”
“Me too,” I admitted. We shared a similar pained glance and then I smiled at her.
“Soren’s been asking about you again,” T.J. said.
“Yeah?” I asked, rolling my eyes.
“I think he’s got a thing for you.”
I laughed hard. “He tried to take me out twice. I highly doubt that.”
He half shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s that hard to catch thing.”
Christian froze beside me. At first, I thought it was because of the steer in the conversation, but finally, upstairs, footsteps started to descend the steps. Gregor was the first to emerge. He smiled happily at his guests, apologized briefly for not being down sooner, but all in all, he played it cool. If no one had heard the outburst or if Christian hadn’t told me what was going on, I never would’ve known something was amiss upstairs. When Samuel and Grego
r shook hands, Samuel gave him a hard, concentrated look that was much deeper, went much further than normal as if he was trying to convey something to the ruler of The Council without words.
A few seconds later, Nicolai followed. He went straight to kiss his mother on the cheek, then briefly welcomed Lex, skipped completely over Samuel and T.J. and made his way over to me. Though his cocky smile was on his face, it was laced with something underneath. Something that looked far too much like sorrow for my taste. I gave him a small grin, and he lifted his shoulders slightly as if to tell me that he’d tried.
Within moments, the housekeeping staff called us to the main dining room. Instead of the cereal bowl place settings I last saw on this table, it was something far more appropriate for the elegantly designed furnishings. Their best china was laid out with more utensils than I knew what to do with. I was seated in the middle of the table in between Samuel and Connor, looking around like the little kid at the big kid table. Straightening my shoulders, I did my best to make it seem like I didn’t feel that way.
Isabelle migrated the first half of the meal with pleasantries. However, as soon as dessert was served, the atmosphere changed abruptly after Gregor cleared his throat. All eyes at the table moved toward him. Nic sat back, throwing his napkin onto the table and looked genuinely disinterested. He’d been avoiding my eye all dinner, and I couldn’t figure out if he was just upset his father wouldn’t let him do what he wanted to or if there was something else going on too.
Gregor clasped his hands in front of him. “I’m so thankful all of you could come tonight. As much as I would love to pretend that this was just a few friends getting together to talk about what we all have going on in our lives, I also know that all of you here are just as worried about the future of our little world as I am. In thinking this, I thought we could have a roundtable discussion about our next steps. Feel free to throw out any ideas or problems that you might see. I’d like us to keep it civil,” he said, eyeing Nic, “but other than that, please feel free to say whatever comes to your mind.”