by E. M. Moore
25
Christian and Stephan flanked me as we walked toward the triage tent. Vampires and guards reached out for me as I passed. Their expressions of joy and relief made the pain in my arms all worth it. When we passed T.J., he wheeled his chair forward, and I stooped down to give him a hug. “Shit, Ariana. You gave me a heart attack.”
I smiled, unsure what to say, then I remembered that Zeke was still passed out in the training room. “Can you check on Zeke? He’s in the training room, and he’s probably going to be more than a little mad when he wakes up.”
He pressed his lips together to hide a smile as Gregor made himself known beside us. “You didn’t knock him out, did you?”
“No, Sir. I used whatever medicine Stephan gave me yesterday. He’s just sleeping.”
Gregor flagged someone down and sent him along with T.J. to break the bad news. Whenever he was allowed after me, it wasn’t going to be a pretty sight, but I didn’t care. I was telling him what Lex told me and he could think I was selfish or dumb or any other number of things, but it was done and it had all worked out. The truth was, he’d have done it to me in a heartbeat, and he wouldn’t have needed as much evidence as I had.
We picked up the pace as the crowd started to close in. It was amazing seeing everyone so full of life again after the last two fights hadn’t ended in our favor. There was renewed vigor. Excitement in their eyes. Everyone stared at Gregor in awe. I could see them almost acknowledging that a win was close at hand and that we would be able to put this chapter in the war against Dumont behind us as early as tomorrow.
Stephan helped me inside, then picked me up and sat me on the triage cot in front of him. Others filtered in afterward until a dark head popped in. “Everyone who’s not a Ravana needs to leave…now!” He gave them all a hard stare until they slowly backed out. Even some nurses left with others who were just excited onlookers.
Already? I was hoping I’d at least get a stay until my wounds were healed.
Soren was the last to leave. He raised his eyebrows at me and then backed away like a cartoon character. Any other time I would’ve laughed, but not with the scowl on Nic’s face.
The flap on the tent fell to the ground, and he turned. “Just so we’re clear,” he said, charging the cot. “I want to straight up murder you right now.”
I swallowed the sudden desert dry nothingness that was my throat. I put my chin in the air. “Just so we’re clear…I know.”
His hands came to rest on either side of me and he dropped his forehead to mine. “God! I can’t believe you fucking did that! Part of me thought you might, but then I was like, ‘no, why would she do that? There’s no reason. She’s be stupid and crazy.’”
I shrugged. “I’m stupid. And crazy.”
He punched the cot on either side of me and I froze up. “Just tell me why you did it.”
“Back off,” Stephan said, trying to step in between us.
I looked at him and shook my head. “It’s okay. You guys deserve to know.” Christian pulled Nic back so they were all standing in a semi-circle around me. This view was all too familiar. Hopefully after this was over, I wouldn’t have to stand in front of them like this ever again. “We needed to win. Zeke is a good fighter, but this was my job to do.” I stared up at them. “I know your mom asked Lex and Samuel not to choose me to fight. Before Lex’s match, she told me. She also told me they did choose me, but they changed their minds at the last second because of what Isabelle said. It was my fight to begin with. I didn’t take it away from Zeke or think that I’m so much better than him that I needed to step in. and I certainly didn’t do it without thinking about it first. The truth is, I wasn’t ever going to lose that fight. Not when you guys were standing there and knowing how much I had to lose. I knew I could win, not because I’m that good, but because of sheer will and the power of what we have. If you think I’d give this up so easily, you’re the crazy stupid one.”
“That’s debatable,” Connor said.
Christian shh’d him.
“Listen, I knew you guys were going to be mad, but I also knew there was no way you were going to let me do it if I told you what I was planning.”
“You don’t know that,” Christian said.
“Really? Then how come none of you told me what Isabelle said?”
Stephan shifted and looked at the ground. He was always the first to look guilty. “We didn’t know they’d actually chosen you. We weren’t sure.”
“I know,” I told him. “Lex told me. She stuck up for you guys. Trust me.”
Nicolai’s knees wobbled and he fell to the ground. He dragged his hands through his hair. “I think that’s why I’m so pissed. When you ran away from me, I was in shock. All I could think about was what happened to Lex and thinking the same thing was going to happen to you because she was our best fighter. I know you’re good, Ri, but she was Lex. I thought we were all going to have to watch you die. I just knew our lives were going to be torn out from under us.”
I slipped off the cot and went to my knees in front of him. “I’m here,” I said, picking up his hand and placing it on my cheek. “I’m still here. I wouldn’t leave you guys like that. If I thought for a second that I wasn’t going to be able to pull it off, I would’ve been the first in line to ask you guys to run away with me because there’s one thing I will never do, and that’s sacrifice what I have with all of you.” I reached up with my free hand and Christian took it. “I’m sorry if I scared you. I’m sorry if you want to be mad at me for awhile. I can take it. Just know that I did it for us.” I reached out to Connor and then Stephan. “I’ll always fight for us. Always.”
They helped Nic and I to our feet and we all embraced, a tangle of arms and legs and healing hearts. We stood there for several minutes in silence until Stephan helped me back on the cot where he poked and prodded and asked questions. Within a minute, I had ice on my face and he was lathering me up with miracle cream on my arms. I was already bruising there, my pale skin marred by blue and purple spots.
That Clive could punch like nobody’s business. I lay there staring up at the ceiling, replaying the last few seconds of the fight. Some of it was a blur, a match of feelings rather than steps and technique. But at the very last, I knew I had to kill that warrior in front of me or be killed. An aching rip tore through my heart as I remembered the lost look in his eyes. My face burned, then ached, as I fought back the tears. Eventually, I couldn’t hold it back anymore. A tear escaped and slid down my cheek.
Stephan’s eyes rounded. “Where does it hurt?” I pointed to my heart, and Stephan frowned. “You said you weren’t injured there.”
I shook my head. “Not on the outside. On the inside.” I looked up at him, latching on to his eyes for support. “I killed him.”
The rational part of my brain knew it was ludicrous to feel bad about it. If I didn’t kill him, he would’ve killed me, but that didn’t make it right. We weren’t at odds, this Clive and me. We were just sent out there to do a job, a senseless killing. At another time, at another place, he wouldn’t have been a threat to me. It wasn’t him. It was Dumont. It was Dumont that needed to pay for all this.
Stephan traced a thumb over my forehead as he bent over me. “I know.”
“It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t my fault.”
“What you did afterward?” Stephan started, then shook his head. “It was a show of kindness, of respect that I’m sure won’t be lost on Dumont’s people.” He picked my hand up and kissed my knuckles. “You showed them that we’re different.”
Already my sore, aching body was starting to feel better. The inside would take more time to heal though.
Christian came over to squeeze my hand. “I just talked to Father. I thought maybe he would want to go to the training room to get ready for his fight, but he’s assured me that he’s done training.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“He wants to spend time with his family, so as soon as you’re feeling up to it, he’s arran
ged to have every dessert in the estate brought into the dining room so that we can—”
“—eat our feelings?” I suggested.
He chuckled. “I suppose that’s one way to put it.” He reached up and smoothed away a rogue tear. “I am proud of you, Ariana.”
“And mad,” I said, finishing a thought he didn’t look as if he wanted to say, but I remembered that look when he first got to me out in the arena.
He nodded. “I’m trying not to be.”
“You can feel however you want. I know I made a big decision on my own.”
“And I know why you did.” He sighed. “It doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”
I smiled at that. “I know. Nothing can change that for me either.”
“You have more guts than anyone I know. I guess it would be nice if you just didn’t always act like it.” He fought back the strain in his voice and then shook his head. “Zeke woke up.”
I sucked in a breath, my heart sinking. If I was in his position, I’d hate me right now. I don’t know how he could hate me anymore, but I’m sure it was possible. “And?”
“Gregor told him he’d approved your scheme.”
“He what?”
Stephan pushed me back down on the cot as Christian continued to tell me what happened. “He told Zeke you and him devised this plan to throw Dumont’s fighter off.”
My mouth dropped. If that wasn’t a terrible lie, I didn’t know what was. If we wanted to do something like that, we could’ve just let Zeke in on it and I wouldn’t have had to knock him out. “Your father’s a terrible liar.”
“He’s not used to it, that’s for sure. He told me you asked him to send you in there and I think he feels guilty for telling you no, so this is his way of making it up to you. I guess Zeke woke up really pissed. Now that Gregor’s on your side, though, he might’ve just spared you some future grief.”
Might have, but I wouldn’t bet on it. “That was…nice of him.”
Nic came up behind Christian and put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I would’ve just kicked his ass.”
“No need,” I said. “The obstacle course is where it started, and that’s where it’s going to end. After that, the best guard will be revealed.”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,” Connor said, peeking around Nicolai. “Are you saying the obstacle course at The Fort is more important than this fight?”
Even though it hurt to do so, I crossed my hands behind my head and smirked. “You got it. Winner takes all after that.”
Outside, I heard my name being called, and then a, “Jeez, she’s got more security than Ravana himself.”
I sat up. “Shannon?”
The guys split up to allow me a view of the front of the tent and then Connor walked over to pull up the flap. Sure enough, Shannon with her fiery red hair and attitude stood just outside it, along with Liv and Evan. When she saw me, she rushed in. “Oh my God, I thought I was going to die when I saw you run out there. Zeke’s been telling everyone that he was the one fighting and then here you come. Holy shit. That was amazing. Are you okay? Of course, you’re okay. It’s all tied up now.”
The energy of the three of them made me smile. Shannon bounced on her tippy toes as she regaled me with the nuances of the fight, telling me exactly when she thought I was going to lose, and then the exact moment she knew I was going to win. When she simulated the escape from mount position that Connor taught me, I looked over at him. He beamed. I mouthed, “I love you,” and he mouthed it right back.
Just seeing my friends from The Fort settled some of my nerves. After this, we could all go back to normal like none of it ever happened. It would be a blip on the timeline of our lives, but it wasn’t going to define the rest of my life just like my mother’s death hadn’t defined me. We could live, and grow, and still have all those things I wanted to fight for. As Shannon rattled on and on about the other fights, I locked eyes with each of my princes and let their warmth and love fill me up.
Tomorrow, I reminded myself. After tomorrow, there would be nothing to stop us from having exactly what we wanted.
As long as Gregor won, of course.
26
I’d said it before, and I’d say it again: Thank God for Stephan’s miracle cream. I saw my face exactly once before he slathered it on me. It was terrifying. He’d gotten the swelling to go down with the ice and stitched up a spot on my brow where Clive had broken the skin open, but that didn’t make up for all the purple and blue bruising that marred my features. I blinked into the mirror, my reflection telling me the story of exactly what I’d gone through. Nothing else could’ve told it better, not even my memories which were flawed with the outcome. I’d won, so I’d underestimated what had happened out there.
I grabbed my cell phone and took a selfie. It looked akin to a mug shot, but I wanted to remember what had actually happened. How hurt I’d really been. Adrenaline, coupled with Stephan’s quick work, and I’d barely even felt any pain to tell me I’d been through a war. This picture though, it spoke a million words to me. It told me how brutal the fight was, yet how strong the person who carried those bruises and stitches was. It told me that people could survive anything as long as they had the drive. It told me I was willing to go through hell for the ones I loved. Physical, photographable proof of that overwhelming connection was now at my hands whenever I needed it.
I loved the Ravanas more than my own life.
I certainly loved them more than my own ego. As soon as Stephan worked his vampire blood cream into my face, I watched as the bruising subsided. Instead of the bruising hues, my skin held more of a yellowish tint. By tomorrow, it would probably be gone completely.
Tonight, however, was a night all about the Ravana family. Connor had gone to my room and brought me some clothes. He helped me dress and then threw my bloody, tattered tactical outfit in the trash next to the cot. As we worked, we shed any physical reminders of the fight altogether. Soon, I was just Ariana again in jeans and a tanktop. He helped me run a brush through my hair as I sat and stared at the wall. It was hard not to think about what was happening tomorrow. Surprisingly, I was already focused on that instead of thinking back on my own fight against death. It wasn’t my time anymore; it was Gregor’s.
Connor kissed the top of my head. “There you go, Princess.”
I reached back and ran a hand through the once matted mess and smiled. My fingers came out cleanly, no snarls or knots. I worked my hair back with my fingers into a pony tail before taking the hair tie around my wrist and wrapping the free strands into a messy bun. Connor came around the cot now, watching me as I put my hair up like I had a million times before. The muscles in my shoulders stretched and ached, but they were void of any serious pain.
When I looked up, he pulled at a wild strand at the back of my hair, the corner of his mouth tipping up. His eyes traveled over my head, across my cheekbones, and finally met my own stare. He licked his lips, slowly, deliberately, as his mind worked behind those beautiful sea blue eyes. “I’ve been wanting to ask you something.”
Unease settled in my stomach. Connor usually wasn’t the one to ask permission first. This sounded like he was setting me up for something big. “Yeah?”
“Do you think…?” He sighed, looked to his left in exasperation, then asked, “Do you think Gregor can win?”
My head reeled back. What a question. I felt the seriousness of it as he stared at me, his eyes like heavy blue weights. Reaching out, I took his hand in mine and squeezed. “Of course, he can. Connor, your father must be the best leader I’ve witnessed—in the vampire world and the human world. He’s exceptionally smart and although his bravery is more often said with words and decisions rather than physical actions, he has everything inside him to take on Dumont.”
He swallowed. “Soren said he doesn’t know Dumont’s fighting style. We can’t tell Dad how to defeat him because we don’t know. The rest of our fighters had a vague understanding of the type of fighter they were goin
g against. We had the upper hand then, but Gregor has nothing. Not one clue to tell him what to look out for and how he should react to it.”
I pressed my lips together, completely understanding Connor’s unease, but he was only seeing it through one angle. “But think of the reason behind that. It’s because Dumont doesn’t fight. That’s great for us. He doesn’t train, he doesn’t spar, he doesn’t fight. Dumont puts himself up on a pedestal over his people. By all of Soren’s memories, Dumont doesn’t have a style because he never thought he’d have to fight. Can you imagine what he must be thinking right now? He must be freaking out, and angry. When you’re angry, you make stupid decisions. When you’re stressed, you make stupid decisions.”
His gaze lifted to meet mine. “You really think so?”
I placed both my hands on his cheeks and pulled him forward. “I know so.”
I smiled, hoping I was right. The last thing I wanted was for the princes and Isabelle to have to watch Gregor lose tomorrow. He wasn’t just the leader of this clan, he was the patriarch of the family. He was the foundation to their pillars of strength. The princes still looked up to him, and to take that away from them would be devastating. In my head, I pictured a fortress crumbling to the ground. When you took out its supports, there was nothing to lean against. Building them back up would take time. Fortunately, in my heart, I didn’t think we’d have that problem.
Connor helped me off the cot and threaded his fingers through mine. “You ready, Princess?”
I nodded eagerly. After Stephan, Christian, and Nicolai left an hour ago, I’d been missing them. Especially after seeing my face and that overpowering reminder that the fight could’ve ended much differently. I wanted them close to me tonight, and every night for that matter, but we would start with this one. We’d start with this precious evening, the night before the rest of our lives.