by Ashby, Riley
JWinger: I’ll start working on that. Should I book accommodations as well?
MSchaf: Yes, for a month. And make sure Maddie has a passport.
JWinger: Right away.
I slammed shut my laptop and rose from the table, chair shooting out behind me so quickly it hit the wall behind me. Depending on first class availability and whether or not she had a passport, Maddie and I could be on a plane as early as tonight. There were a lot of plans to make before then.
Jessica stood as I approached my office. “Madeline does have a passport. I was able to get you tickets on the flight leaving at 10:30.”
“There was nothing earlier?” I tried to hide my scowl. Maddie said I was too hard on her sometimes. I needed to try to take more of what she said to heart.
“Unfortunately, no. Lots of people are taking off to spend the holidays abroad.” She tapped her fingers against my door as I stalked to my desk and sat down. “I could…”
“It’s all right. I’m sure you got the best flight.” I shoved my laptop into my bag and grabbed my coat. We still had a few hours before we would need to be at the airport, but I wanted to make sure we had plenty of time to pack. “Is Maddie here? We need to get going.”
“She just got back from across town. Should be on her way up now.”
“Great. Cancel my meetings for the rest of the year. I’ll be in touch once I land.” The board wasn’t going to be happy about this, but they certainly wouldn’t take any action. It was purely due to me that the company even still existed. Absorbing Amnesty Abroad had been exactly what we needed to remake the company’s image. With Maddie’s boss in front of TV cameras every day expanding on how our organizations were working together, a lot of the heat that had been raining down on us over the past few weeks had dissipated. There was never a good time to take a month off from work, but now was as good a time as any. I had to put Maddie first, before I lost her forever.
The elevator doors opened as I approached them. Maddie stepped out, her smile turning to confusion as I grabbed her around the waist and carried her right back into it.
“What’s going on?”
“We’re going on a trip.” I kissed her as the doors closed, our bodies awkwardly pushed together. She smiled as I pulled away, eyes still closed.
“I hear the Bahamas are nice this time of year.”
“No beaches this time.” I released her and turned around so we faced the same direction. “You’ll see when we get there. Or at least, when we get on the airplane.”
She bit her lip to hide her grin and bounced on her toes. “Give me a hint.”
“Nope. You’ll find out soon enough.” The look on her face was intoxicating. Her hair was a little blown back from the walk through the windy city streets, and her cheeks were flushed red with cold. I touched my hands to her cheeks, eager to give her some of my warmth. “I adore you, you know that?”
Her arms wrapped around my middle as she folded against my chest. “Right back at you.”
*
“Christmas in Paris.” Maddie sighed and leaned her head against my shoulder, only to sit up straight a moment later. We’d been among the first to board the plane. She was blown away by the size of the seats in first class, and how much leg room we had. The moment we sat, a hostess appeared with glasses full of champagne topped with a strawberry. She downed hers immediately, while I took measured sips. I didn’t want to miss even one moment of her smile.
But my happiness turned to worry as her face fell. “What about my parents?”
I cursed internally. Shit. I hadn’t thought about them. I scrambled for a response. “I’ll fly them out a few days before Christmas, and we can ring in the New Year together.” It wouldn’t be that big a deal to have them around. She might want them for support, later.
Maddie wasn’t assuaged. “They don’t have passports. I only got one because I went to South America for a service trip one summer.”
“We’ll get them set up.” I whipped out my phone and shot off an email to Jessica just as the cabin doors closed and we were instructed to turn off our wifi. Another reason why what we were doing could never work long term. I was so eager to get away from all forms of family, I completely forgot that Maddie still cared about her parents. What if she hadn’t said anything to me? She would have hated me even more for keeping her away from her family during the holidays, after they’d already been through so much.
And really, why hadn’t I thought about inviting Eva? Having her back in my life had been a balm the past few weeks as we dealt with the fallout of my father’s death. I was building a house for her on my property, for God’s sake. She wasn’t going to run off on me again. Still, I was trying to hard to keep her at arm’s length. Not as much as Joshua, of course, but I could tell she’d noticed how I’d pulled back after we found my real mother’s bones.
Maddie didn’t notice my distress as the plane started moving and she pressed her face against the window.
“I still can’t believe this is happening.”
“Don’t get too excited.”
She turned to face me, frowning a little. Oops.
“I just mean we have a long flight ahead of us. We should try to get some sleep.”
Reassured by my explanation, she grinned once more and bounced a little. “I’ll try, but no promises. I’m too worked up.”
Once we got in the air, I ordered us some drinks to try and calm her down, and after a quick snack she finally began to relax in the seat.
“Want to lie down?”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
I pressed a button on my seat and the back of my chair began to recline, far lower than any economy class seat, until I was nearly horizontal.
“I’ve never seen anything so amazing,” she whispered, and I had to laugh. It was too loud in the quiet cabin, Maddie pushed her hand over my mouth. “Hang on.” She moved her seat as far back as she could, then pushed down the arm rest so there was nothing between us but a small gap in the seats. Ignoring the boundary, she wiggled her way across until we were crammed together one seat. She slipped her hands around my waist, fingers playing over my spine. I thought about that first night we really slept together, in Shawn’s house after she nearly drowned, the way her bones had felt so delicate while I covered her with my body.
“You’re the most amazing,” she whispered. The cabin lights dimmed until we were left in near darkness except for the lights in the aisle. I sat up briefly to pull our curtain across the seats, to save us from some prying eyes.
“I’m nothing,” I murmured. “You’re the only reason I didn’t turn out like my dad.” And after all that, I still don’t deserve you.
“Don’t say that. You have a good heart. You would have found a way free eventually.”
I didn’t want to argue, so I kept my mouth shut. “I hope you have fun on this trip. You deserve something nice. Something to remember … what you’ve done for me.”
She sighed lightly, breath warm and feather-light on the base of my neck. I let my fingers fall through her hair, pulling loose the curls that had tangled together while she rested her head on the seat. “I have you for that.”
“Yeah.” I kissed her forehead and let my eyes fall closed. I only had a few more nights of her like this, before I changed everything, and I wanted to savor every last one of them.
Maddie
Despite sleeping on the plane, I was a total blur when we landed in a foreign country. All the signs were in a language I barely recognized, I couldn’t understand most of the people speaking around me. Through it all, Meyer held my hand firm and tight in his and led me through customs, collected our luggage, and out the door into a town car before I barely had a chance to take a breath.
I pressed my face to the window of the car as it drove through the city, searching for my first glace of those famous landmarks I’d longed to see all my life - the Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower, and more. Meyer spoke briefly with the driver in flawless French, and before long
we found ourselves in the middle of the Charles de Gaulle Etoile, circling the Arc de Triomphe three times before finally pulling off on to one of the side roads that led to our lodgings.
“The hotels were pretty much booked up, so I thought it would be nicer to have an apartment to ourselves.”
I swallowed thickly. The ‘apartment’ was at least five thousand square feet, nearly as large as Conrad’s house. The staircase to the upper levels wound through the middle of the house, but was open in the center, allowing light from the skylight five stories up to reach the bottom level. Bracing myself for a long trek up the stairs heaving my suitcase, I almost rolled my eyes when Meyer pushed a button to summon an elevator.
“You didn’t think I’d make you walk up all these stairs for a month, did you?”
“I should have known better,” I admitted, stepping into the small space with him. We barely fit with our suitcases. “This is tiny!”
“Get used to it.” He grinned and set a hand on my waist, walking back half a step so I was pressed against the side of the car. Slight vibrations ran down my spine as it started to move. “European elevators are tiny.”
His other hand was trapped between my body and the wall, but he somehow wiggled until he was able to place his fingertips against my neck. I caught my breath in my throat and coughed lightly as my entire body began to tingle in a way that had nothing to do with the movement of the elevator.
“Seems like a recipe for bad behavior.” I meant to speak normally, forcefully, but the words came out as a whisper.
“Let’s hope so.” He was still smiling as he kissed me, just as the doors of the elevator opened.
*
Meyer wanted to rest, but I was too excited. I suspected he got less sleep than me on the plane since I insisted on cuddling with him the entire time. Still, I couldn’t contain myself. I sat as patiently as I could through lunch — croque monsieurs with egg and asparagus on the side. He prepared it himself, which surprised me. In fact, I hadn’t seen any staff at the house.
“Since when do you cook?”
“I want us to have plenty of alone time while we’re here.” He frowned. “Why? Is it bad? I can hire a chef if it’s bad.”
I shook my head emphatically as I chewed the last bite of my sandwich. “Not at all. I’m just surprised. You’ve been complaining about having to cook for yourself after Joshua…” It was too difficult to finish the sentence. I had been working so hard to forget the horrible things that had happened to me. As much as I hated to admit it, having my half brother out of the picture had helped quite a bit with my recovery. I’d wanted so badly to forgive him for the part he’d played in everything that went down, but even knowing his motivation, I still harbored so much distrust for him. Bringing him up let the bad feelings surge forth again.
Meyer took my hand, snapping me out of my own head. “I’m sorry. I wanted to get you away from all that toxicity. I guess it’s hard when I’m here to always remind you of it.”
“Stop that. I don’t want to think about it.” I squeezed his hand and picked up my fork to take a bite of my egg. “I’ve forgiven you for all that, Meyer. I believe you’re a far better person now than you were when we first met. And I believe that what happened to us only served to bring us closer together.” Pushing aside my plate, I shifted in my chair to lean a little closer to him. “Let’s not talk about it anymore. Can we go on a walk?”
He smiled, but something about it seemed forced. The skin around his eyes didn’t crinkle the way it normally did, and his lips were too tight. “Let’s unpack first. I’ll wash the dishes and join you in the bedroom.”
“Let me,” I said, seizing the plates before he had a chance too. “You cooked, so it makes sense.” I kissed his forehead as I came around the table, and this time, his face lit up like a beacon.
*
I don’t know how he managed it on such short notice, but Meyer had us scheduled to see everything there was to see in Paris. On our first full day he made sure I wore comfortable shoes for our trip to the Louvre, where he had arranged a private tour for us. We were able to see the Mona Lisa up close without the massive crowds pressing around us, and every important piece housed at the museum was highlighted and explained in detail. I found myself taking notes on my phone as I snapped pictures of us in front of various works of art.
“Kind of weird, taking photos of art,” Meyer commented dryly.
“It’s for a scrapbook,” I said. “I’ve decided I’m going to start scrapbooking everything.”
He smiled as he wrapped one arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “I’m glad you’ll have these photos.”
“You will, too,” I reminded him. He just gave me the same smile, the one that didn’t seem to touch any other part of his face.
A spontaneous trip overseas was strange enough, but Meyer’s attitude was growing more and more concerning. He held me a little closer at night; his hand around mine was tighter than usual. We took the elevators to the top of the Eiffel tower and shared a bottle of wine in the restaurant there, overpriced as it was. A chartered bus took us to some of the most famous champagne houses in the region, where we sampled the local bubbly paired with fresh cheese.
Any time I looked at Meyer, I caught him staring back. There was never a moment that his eyes weren’t on me. Even in the mornings when I woke up he was already out of bed, but still close enough to hear me stir so he could hop back under the covers with me right away. I suspected he was working, much like I was when I checked my email on trips to the bathroom. But he’d never been so clingy, even when he was trying to play my captor. I let myself sink into every one of his touches, fall apart under each new kiss, because something about his possessiveness didn’t feel permanent. It felt like a last grasp at evaporating smoke.
The day before my parents were due to arrive, we walked down the street to the Arc de Triomphe and climbed to the top, as we had a few times a week since we’d arrived. There was something about standing up there, surrounded by centuries of historic architecture and fashion, that really hit home for me that I was standing in the City of Lights with the man I loved. It was cold and windy at the top, but we were bundled up tight; more importantly, we were together.
As we watched, the Eiffel Tower was suddenly doused in twinkling lights. We’d seen it every night since we arrived, but watching from the top of the Arc was a unique experience. I leaned against the bars keeping us back from the edge and tried to burn the memory into my mind. Meyer’s chest was warm against my back, and the tension released from my shoulders as his hands rested on my shoulders. There was a lot of wind up here, and even in my coat I was chilly, but I barely cared as we stood up there together. My parents would arrive tomorrow morning, and we would spend the final week of the year together as a family. By the time we got back to the States, the house would be almost halfway done. We’d move out of that damned house where so many horrors had taken place, burn it to the fucking ground, then dance on the ashes before letting the woods reclaim it. By the time our children were old enough to have memories, new growth would have reclaimed the space. We could forget any of this ever existed.
“I need to say something.”
I jumped a little as Meyer’s voice startled me out of my daydream. He held my shoulders as I started to turn around.
“Hang on. I need to get this out without looking at you. This whole trip has been building to something. It’s not going to be the easiest thing to do, but I think it’s the right thing. I can’t forgive myself for the way we met, and the things I put you through. It’s not fair for me to ask you to forgive me, either.”
My heart hammered in my chest. I couldn’t handle it if he was doing what it sounded like he was doing. This entire trip he’d been acting so strangely, speaking as if the end of this trip was going to be the end of the world. I’d expected his caring attitude, the commitment to cooking and spending time without staff to wait on us, to wear off by the end of our first week, but he’d co
ntinued without any sign of slowing down. He rarely left me alone, even to shower. I didn’t mind it, but his clinginess seemed like more than new relationship puppy love. It was like the last desperate grasp at something that was about to slip away.
And now he was saying it.
“You’re scaring me.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the times I scared you. But after this, I don’t think you’re going to have to worry about that anymore, because you’re not going to want to see much of me.”
He removed his hands, and cold air met my back as he stepped away. I squeezed my eyes shut and gripped the cold bars in front of me, waiting for those words telling me that this dream was over, but he didn’t say anything.
I shifted slightly, and when he didn’t stop me, I whirled the rest of the way around to find him on one knee before me. The other tourists had all stopped taking pictures of the scenery and were staring at us.
I took a breath, and swallowed. “Stand up, and close that box.”
Far from looking rejected, his face transformed to one of passive acceptance. He slid the box back into his pocket as he rose back to two feet. “I’m sorry, I—”
He barely had time to open his arms to catch me as I launched myself at him.
“Of course I’ll fucking marry you, you dummy.”
“I thought you’d say no,” he gasped, struggling to breathe around my tight arms. I forced myself to loosen my hold and lean back a little to look at him in the face.
“What? Why?”
“I thought that if I actually confronted you with the idea of spending the rest of your life with me…bound to me…that you’d realize what a mistake this is and go running.”
I resisted the urge to slap him, even playfully. “Meyer, I love you, but that is literally the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.” He bit his lip to suppress a smile. I sighed and disengaged myself from his arms. “Let me see that.” I grabbed the ring box from his pocket to look at its contents. I hadn’t looked closely enough to even see if it was real. But sure enough, a brilliant purple stone sparkled under the lights. “You thought I’d say no but you bought a real ring?” I raised one eyebrow at him, but his half smile was gone.