Still, I didn’t want to forget tonight and the progress that I’d made. Zane was the first person in a long time I’d trusted to see the real me. There was beauty in that, even if it wasn’t something I could hold onto forever. Tonight, I would linger in that beautiful feeling.
And tomorrow, I’d start the process of letting Zane go.
Chapter Eighteen
I nervously looked at my phone as I dropped my bags in my locker. It was a cold and bitter Thursday, especially for this time of year. The rain that our director had asked for yesterday came free of charge from the sky this morning, soaking through my lacy blouse in seconds and leaving me to curse the day I’d dared to make Beth mad. I’d walked to school early this morning to avoid her judgmental gaze in the rearview mirror, but given the current state of my hair, it might have been better just to swallow my pride and beg for a ride.
My phone buzzed and I looked down at it, swallowing my nerves.
Zane: I’m here.
Meet me in the classroom?
Shooting him back a confirmation, I headed toward the classroom that the school district had allowed the movie crew to take over for the semester. Luckily for us, it was currently unoccupied. It was the perfect place to meet for a serious conversation that neither of us wanted to have. I slipped through the door and sat on top of a desk, fidgeting as I waited for Zane to meet me.
I’d texted him early this morning, asking to meet before school started. The speech I had prepared rolled through my mind once again.
Zane—we had an amazing night. And that kiss? Easily top ten of all time. But we’re still risking too much. We have to rein it in.
We really have to be just friends.
Yeah, I hoped it didn’t sound as lame said aloud as it was in my head.
The door to the classroom slid open and I sat up straighter on the desk, wishing I’d done a makeup check before coming to the room. It was too late for all of that. Come running mascara or high water, Zane was here.
“Hey,” he said, sliding through the door and closing it shut behind him. He shot me a gut-warming grin and then claimed the space between us with a single step. “Good idea with this meet-up. I wasn’t sure I was going to last until this afternoon without seeing you. You look beautiful, by the way.”
I blinked up at him, at a loss for a reply. Zane had a way of sucking all the oxygen out of the room with his sweet words and the way his heated gaze swept over my face. He took my hand and stroking his fingers gently across my skin, placed a searing kiss on the back of my hand and then kept it held tight in his.
“Th-thank you,” I stuttered, unable to break his gaze.
Seriously, what was I thinking? That boy made my insides go all silly. This speech was never going to work. Not when just being in the same room with him had my brains resembling scrambled eggs.
“I mean it.” He smiled and then sat on the top of the desk next to mine. “Did you rock your Shakespeare quiz yet?”
“It’s not until tomorrow morning.” My voice sounded like it was coming from far off, in a dreamy sort of way. “Mr. Garret is practically salivating every time he warns us about it. It’s going to be a tough one. I’m not sure what to expect.”
“You’ve got this in the bag.” Zane squeezed my hand. “You’re smart. And if I learned anything from making the mistake of challenging you on the soccer field, you’re aggressive. You’ll blow it out of the water.”
He was so supportive and sweet, it left me staring at him with heart eyes, forgetting the entire reason why I’d texted him this morning. Why couldn’t Zane just quit acting and come to live in Rock Valley? Why couldn’t he be the boy next door, instead of the man about to become a mega superstar in the acting world? The boy that I couldn’t have. It just wasn’t fair.
“Hope I didn’t get you in too much trouble with Charlotte and Beth last night,” he said, ducking his head and grimacing. With a peek in my direction, he smiled sheepishly and then ran a hand through his hair. It was an adorable move that had my heart pitter pattering. “Your friends are really nice. I don’t want them to hate me.”
“Why?” I bit my inner cheek and stared hard at him. “Why does it matter what they think about you? You’re leaving in a few days.”
Reality was pressing down on my chest like one of the barbells from the weight room. My lungs could barely inflate. Zane pulled back, as if I’d struck out at him. Confusion washed over his face.
“Well, because...because it matters to you.”
Dang it, he was perfect in nearly every single way—except for the fact that he was leaving. As soon as his soccer movie was done filming, he and every one of his little acting buddies would be gone. Yeah, I’d still see him in tabloids and online, but we’d be thousands of miles apart. And he’d still be playing the role of the heartthrob. There was no chance for us.
Beth’s words came flooding back to me. She was right. I was risking my entire future on a relationship that had no potential. And Zane was risking his, too. This thing between us never made any sense, no matter how much I’d tried to ignore that.
This was officially the hardest thing I’d ever had to do.
“Zane, I’m sorry.” I hopped down and stood in front of him. With his lanky legs hanging off the edge of the desk, we were just about at eye level. I placed my hands on his shoulders and looked him straight in the eye, hoping he could read the sorrow in my own as I said what needed to be said. “If things were different, I would be the first girl in line to give you her heart, but we know this can’t go on. And obviously, just being friends is impossible for us. So I’m going to have to end it here and now, before something happens that we regret.”
I expected to see a bit of anger in his eyes. It wasn’t an uncommon first reaction I got whenever pulling the plug on a relationship. But instead, the light in Zane’s eyes fizzled as he slumped slightly and then took both of my hands in his.
“I know.” He stared down at my hands in his, disappointment washing over his expression. “You’re right. I was just hoping we could fly under the radar for another few days. You know, I’m actually doing a movie next year about a secret fling. We could call it research.”
I laughed and squeezed his hands. Ugh, he was too good to be true. He’d officially ruined all the other guys for me in high school. And possibly college, too.
“I think we’ve got enough on our plates without adding that complication,” I said, slipping my hands out of his. “Your up-and-coming stardom...”
“And your award-winning makeup career,” he added with a sad smile. “You’re right, but that doesn’t mean I like it.”
“And who knows? Maybe we’ll meet up again in a few years.” I blinked back the surprise waterworks threatening to make an appearance. “And maybe you’ll be done with the whole heartthrob thing, anyway. You can take me out on a real date.”
“It’s a deal.” He took his phone from his pocket and opened the calendar app. Skipping forward, he created an appointment. “How does a date two years from now on September twentieth sound? I’m scheduling it in now. You better not stand me up, or I’ll never hear the end of it in the tabloids.”
I laughed at the stern expression he shot me, even as my heart panged with sadness. I thought I had breakups down to an art, but Zane had thrown me for a loop. Everything about him had been different. Unexpected. And now, we were saying goodbye sooner than we wanted. It wasn’t enough time.
“I’ll be there,” I said with the best smile I could muster. “But you’ll be a huge star by then. Maybe you’ll forget about me and stand me up.”
“Never.” He took my face in his hands and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to my lips.
It tasted like goodbye.
I wiped the one tear away that had dared to escape my eyelashes as the door behind us burst open. We both turned to see Zane’s dad hulking in the doorway, much like he had that day at the picnic shelter.
“Dad.” Zane slid off the desk and stood next to me, his demeanor changing al
most immediately from the sad boy I’d just broken up with into a type of steady confidence that oozed off of him. “I was just about to come find you.”
“Don’t worry, I found you.” His dad’s eyes flashed, and his lips pulled down into a near-snarl. I inhaled sharply as he stepped into the room and tossed a rolled-up magazine that hit Zane squarely in the chest. “Look what’s in the paper today. I hope you’re ready to deal with the consequences, Son, because my pull only goes so far.”
Too curious to walk away, my gaze slid over the glossy pages of the magazine as Zane unfurled them. When he got near the middle, I gasped as a familiar photo made an appearance.
“Is Zane Rees done with his bachelor ways?” Zane read aloud. It was printed in bright red ink above the cute shot he’d taken of us in the library. “Who is this mystery girl? Read more to find out about the budding makeup star Alexis Black...”
I was completely wordless. The blood had drained from my face. That was my name...in a gossip magazine. And my face. How had it gotten there? And more importantly, what was this going to do to Zane’s career?
“See what happens when you go against my advice?” Zane’s dad growled, the light from the hallway behind him making him look bigger, like he’d gone Hulk and ripped through his tailored suit. “They use you, time and time again. They don’t even care what damage it does to your career.”
I blinked once, then twice, as realization came over me. Mr. Rees blamed me for this article. He was accusing me of using Zane. That was so far from the truth. I’d never do something like that. Zane had to know that.
Turning toward him, I searched his face in desperation. Zane’s wide-eyed gaze lifted from the magazine to me and once again, that weight I’d felt earlier was back on my chest. But this time, it’d been placed there by the hurt and accusations in his blue eyes.
“Why would you do this?” His knuckled whitened as he crumbled the magazine in his hands. “Why would you send this to the paparazzi?”
His questions had me reeling. “I didn’t. I swear, Zane. I never sent it to anyone.”
“Then, how’d they get it?” Hurt leaked into his voice. For the first time since I’d met him, he couldn’t quite keep up his suave act. “You’re the only one who had it.”
I was pretty sure I looked like a guppy, with my mouth bobbing open and shut. I had no answers for him. It did look pretty suspicious to see me smiling so proudly on that page, my name in bold lettering.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Mr. Rees took a step farther into the room. He stared me down like I was a bug on his windshield. “She used you to jump-start her career. To get her fifteen minutes of fame. This is why I agreed to that clause in your contract. I know better than anyone how people in this industry can use each other. I was trying to save you, Son. But I guess it wasn’t enough.”
He was wrong. Totally wrong.
I clasped the sleeve of Zane’s t-shirt. “I swear. It wasn’t me. You’ve got to believe me.”
He stared at me for a long moment, his gaze drilling into mine. All of my desperation for him to believe me spilled into my eyes. He had to know I’d never do this to him. Finally, with a heavy sigh, he shook his head. “I believe you, Lexi. But either way, it doesn’t really matter now. The damage is done, and we have to do damage control.”
“Yeah, and we’ve got a video chat with the studio producer in five minutes,” Mr. Rees said, glancing down at the fancy watch on his wrist. “I have no doubt it’s about this very subject. Let’s just hope you’re not blackballed from the studio. I’m not sure your career would recover. It’s already all over social media.”
Fear struck me in the sternum. Zane couldn’t lose his career. That wasn’t fair. This was exactly what we’d wanted to avoid. The very reason why I’d come here to say goodbye.
“Sorry, I’ve got to go.” Zane strode to the door and shot me one last, pained look over his shoulder.
It was hard to tell if he truly believed me about that photo. I had no way to prove my innocence. After all—it was on my phone. But Zane was right. Either way, the damage was done, and we would both have to pay for it. I stayed glued to the ground as he walked past his father and onto his way to do damage control.
I expected Zane’s dad to follow close behind him, but he waited until the door shut to clear his throat and throw me another nasty look. “I think it’s safe to say that you’re relieved of service. You’ve done enough damage. You’re off the film. I’ll need your employee badge.”
A piece of my heart tore off when I lifted the lanyard from my neck and handed it to him. I’d expected this anyway, but that didn’t make it any less painful.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Rees,” I said in a small voice. “We really didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
He crossed his arms tightly, my badge dangling from his thick fingers. “Yeah, well, that’s the way Hollywood works. Reputations are made and shattered in seconds. Remember that, the next time you want to build your name on someone else’s.”
There was no doubt that he blamed me for Zane’s troubles. In a big way, I did, too. Maybe I hadn’t sent out that photo, but I also hadn’t stopped our friendship from happening and that was what had caused this whole mess to begin with. Beth had been right. I was stupid to cross that line and now I’d injured us both.
And as Mr. Rees marched out of the classroom, leaving me in the semi darkness, I gripped the edge of the desk behind me and desperately wished I could take back the past few days.
But there was no going back.
Chapter Nineteen
I couldn’t stay in that classroom forever. If there was any way I was going to survive this day, it was by getting through all of my classes and then running home to dig in the chocolate stores Mom kept hidden in the back of the pantry. Swiping under my eyes with my fingers to wipe away any lingering tear trails of mascara, I ventured out the door.
There was still a half hour to go before school started. The nearly empty hallways echoed with the sound of my sandals clapping against the waxed tile floor. I barely had the energy to do anything but stare at the squares ahead of me.
This was such a mess. I’d lost my job and the chance to have Alanis as an amazing reference. Zane could lose his entire career before it really took off the ground. And all the rest of the world knew about our relationship. There was no putting it back again. I almost wished my dad hadn’t gotten me this job...
I gasped in horror as I thought about Dad. Would he lose his job, too? All because of his selfish daughter who was too dense to think through the consequences of falling for someone who was totally off limits? That line of thought made my eyes burn once again. I was an ungrateful person, if there ever was one. Dad would hate me when he found out. He and Marie would never be able to look at me again.
I’d screwed up so bad.
It wasn’t until I was nearly to my locker did I look up to see the papers that had been taped along the walls. They were white, with big black letters and a colored picture printed at the bottom. At first, I wondered if it was something for school spirit week. Our football team was ramping up for a good season and Rock Valley High was big into showing their support. My sister had been the mascot last year and that was embarrassing enough. I wondered what the cheerleaders were up to this year. But as I walked up to the one taped to my locker door, my jaw nearly dropped to the floor.
This wasn’t school spirit. It was a picture of me, making duck lips and throwing a peace sign at the camera. That would’ve been bad enough on its own, but it was one of the pictures I’d taken with a bare face, my reddened and jagged acne scars visible to the entire world. With a gasp, I tore the paper down and looked in horror down the hall at the dozens of others posted in this hallway alone.
How was this even possible? That selfie had been tucked away safely on my phone. It was one of the pictures I’d taken to make myself feel better about my face. Needless to say, I’d never posted it anywhere. I would’ve died before doing that. The same person who’d
stolen that picture of Zane and me must have stolen this one as well.
A sick and painful feeling began in my stomach. This had been a massive invasion of privacy. Now, everyone in school was not only going to think I was using Zane for a career boost, but they were going to see the real me. No filters. No mask. It was my worst nightmare come to life. I shook so bad, the paper I’d been clutching in my hands slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor.
“No, no, no, no.”
There wasn’t enough time before the start of school to tear all of these down and I could only assume who’d ever put them up had plastered them around the entire place. There was not enough time for damage control.
The tears that I thought I had successfully wrestled back started to blur my eyes once again. I shouldered my backpack and turned to make my escape. The sound of my sandals slapping against the floor grew louder as I turned the corner of the empty hallway. My initial goal had been to make a break for the exit, but that changed when I caught a look at the pair of long legs in a mini skirt standing halfway down the hall. Janelle, with her perfectly curled blonde hair and angelic face, was placing another one of the flyers on the wall. With a flourish, she turned toward me and smiled evilly.
“Oh, good. I was hoping you’d be here in time to see my art work.” She gestured at the dozens of fliers plastered to the wall featuring my naked face. “Like it? I call it—Girl, Interrupted Part II.”
Confusion and desperation collided inside my body, making it hard to breathe. I took a step toward her and tried to swallow down the sawdust in my mouth.
“W-why would you do this?” I asked.
I still couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Sure, I figured Janelle for a mean girl the first time I met her, but I didn’t know her cruelty ranged this high. I’d invited her over to my home. Alanis had even allowed me to apply blush to her cheeks the other day. I thought we’d gotten over the initial territorial thing that girls like her seemed to put up. Why now?
Dare You to Chase the Soccer Player (Rock Valley High Book 5) Page 15