by Nora Cobb
The tension in his voice says more than words. I’m seeing Lucas differently now. He’s not the easygoing, kindhearted guy I met months ago. He’s bored with life and looking for kicks. Lucas wants an explosion to shake the ennui out of his effortless life. And I’m the fuse that started it.
The curtain twitches again as he parks beside my car.
“Natalie.” His words are smooth like a press release. “If you don’t believe me, ask Arielle about both nights. She knows where I was. And she doesn’t care what I do anymore.”
“You better not be lying, Lucas Bellman. I trusted you, but that trust is on shaky ground.”
I jump out of his car and get into mine. Glancing over, Lucas is still sitting in his car as I turn out of his driveway.
CHAPTER 6
Natalie
The weekend is heaven without a boy around except for Uncle Phil, of course. Relying on obstinate willpower, I do my best not to think about what happened and what I’ve learned. Cleaning out my car is a productive distraction, and the trash bag is almost full.
“You’re in a good mood, Nat.”
Smiling his winner smile, Uncle Phil stands at the edge of the walkway. He has on a navy peacoat, and his collar is up around his face. The breeze ruffles his short blond hair, and a few gray strands shine in the bright sunlight. I wonder if I’ve added a few more since last month.
“I’m trying to get my shit together,” I reply matter-of-factly, “so I thought I would start with cleaning my car. You want me to do yours?”
“Nope.” He skips forward with a light step. He catches me in his arms and spins me around. “I’m going out on a date.”
“Oh, that sounds fun. Who’s the lucky girl?”
“He’s someone you haven’t met yet.”
“He? Why didn’t I know that?” I sigh at my ignorance. “I live with you, but yet I’m clueless.”
“It’s called youth, Natalie.” He places a hand on my shoulder. “You’ll get over it someday. I know it’s been hard, but just get through this year, and it will be worth it.”
I gaze into his happy face that radiates promise. “I wish I had your optimism.”
“It doesn’t come easy, and it takes years of practice.” Uncle Phil presses a kiss on my forehead that makes me smile.
“I may be back for dinner. If not, the menu is on the fridge.”
I wave my phone at him. “Shame on you,” I tease. “You have an app.”
Uncle Phil laughs. “I’m old school, Natalie.”
Taking a break from cleaning my car, I try Beth’s number. There’s no answer, and my finger hovers over Anthony’s. Yeah, he’s a boy, and I’m having a boy-less weekend, but we’re never going there again. But still.
I wonder if Beth hangs with him when I’m not around. She must. I shove my phone into my back pocket. I don’t need to stir the pot, and then cry when it boils over. I open the car door, and go back to putting trash into the bag in my hand.
“Hey, Stranger.”
I drop the trash bag on the ground when I see my old friend Lydia from West Lake standing in my driveway. I bounce up and down like a game show winner as she runs over to me, clapping her hands.
“Lydia!” I squeal as I hug her.
“Hey girl!” She opens her arm wide and gives a spin. Lydia looks cute in her silver parka with white faux-fur that frames her strawberry blonde hair. Her blue eyes glow with happiness to see me and I’m thankful to have one true friend. “Oh, Natalie, I miss you like I miss carbs.”
“You look good, girl.” I take a step back and admire her cuteness.
She takes a few steps in her new faux-fur winter boots like she’s on the runway and I cheer her on. Stopping mid-stride, Lydia points to my car. “That can’t possibly be yours.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because it’s clean.”
“You’re the worst.” I grab her hand and drag her towards the front door. My car is clean enough for now. “How’d you find the house?”
“Like a true detective,” she replies. “The card you sent me had a return address. I put that into Google Maps, and poof, I’m here. Magic, right?”
I can’t help smiling at her. What a refreshing change to be around a sane, kind, normal girl. I give her a tour of the house, which ends in my bedroom. Her eyes widen when she sees all the purple over every square inch.
She giggles as her fingers stroke a purple mohair pillows. “Can you turn on some music, Natalie?” She flops on the bed. “I feel like listening to Prince.”
“Brat.” I flop down next to her and the speakers start playing When Doves Cry.
“Wow, this is so how I feel,” I sigh. “Montlake sucks.”
“I know,” Lydia agrees, “From what I’ve heard, some are nice but others are straight out of hell, or something worse. I feel for you, Natalie.” Lydia holds my hand. “I really wish you didn’t have to deal with this right now.”
We lie there listening to the end of the song, and I feel a little down. I don’t want to ruin Lydia’s visit by putting her in a funk with me. The next song is upbeat as Prince sings about that famous beret. “Let’s not mope in here,” I say. “Let’s go for a drive.”
We’re off the bed, down the stairs and in the car before the song ends. We jump into my Audi and I pull off with a sharp turn of the wheel. Lydia has perfect porcelain skin with light freckles, which makes a natural complement to her blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair. But as we drive, I’m having a hard time telling if she’s paler than usual because of the shorter days or because of my driving. I slow down. And my car creeps along as we pass Jacob’s house.
“Nice,” Lydia comments as she looks at the brick mansion, “So is bachelor number one home?”
“Don’t know, and we’re not stopping.” I push my foot down on the gas.
“Chicken. What would you do if I jumped out and rang the bell?”
“I’d let you fend for yourself.”
I continue driving until we pass by Lucas’ mansion. We can barely see it beyond the hedges. I wonder if Taylor can see us trying to peek in. On cue, the front door opens and a driver steps out carrying a suitcase to a limo.
“Someone’s going on a trip.” Lydia reaches over and presses down on the horn. They guy looks up and starts walking over to get a better look. I scream as I press the gas and the car speeds back to the main road.
“You are such a brat,” I try to speak and laugh at the same time.
“Do they know your car?” She giggles as she ducks down in her seat.
“They do now!”
“So, who else are we going to see?” she asks.
I think about Anthony, but that’s not happening today. And maybe not any other day. Lydia and I stop for large cokes and fries from the drive thru, and we take the back roads to my house. I let Lydia drive as I play with the radio searching for a good song for my whacked mood.
“You can’t do a search?” she asks.
“I don’t know what I’m in the mood for.” I reply. “I’m glad you stopped by, Lydia.”
“Me, too.” Her voice is soft. “You’ve been through a big change, Natalie. Please take care of yourself.”
I nod my head as Michael Kiwanuka’s Cold Little Heart plays on the speakers. The music I listen to reveals my moods, no matter how hard I try to pretend that those kids don’t hurt me.
“Look, I know you’re trying, but these Montlake kids…” Lydia presses her lips hard together as she finally speaks her mind. “They like to toy with people. Like a cat playing with its food. They’ll let you think you can escape, but they’ll pull you back every time.”
“So what do you suggest I do? Just roll over and accept my fate?”
Lydia stares at me, blue eyes burning. “No. That’s not you, Natalie. You’ll fight to the end. And if you want to fight, then you better have a lion in your corner and not just a cat.”
I say nothing as she parks the car and gets out. I need a lion in my corner. But who is supposed to be that
lion?
CHAPTER 7
Natalie
Monday morning comes too soon, but I’m ready to navigate the waters again. Avoiding the sharks and ignoring the guppies, I head to Calculus with Jacob and Lucas. I walk in and Jacob points to my old seat in front of him. Peterson is on the other side of the room, looking relieved. Jacob’s feet are resting on the rungs of my chair, and I sigh. I’m back in my old desk, and I ignore him except to glare when he drums the back of my chair with his feet.
“Sorry,” Jacob mouths when I turn around. He’s not even doing it on purpose. He can be a goof at times.
He may have forgiven me, but I’m still pissed at all of them. I’m not some hanger-on looking for a crumb under their table. Let the other girls chase them; my pride will keep me company. Lucas ignores me as hard as I ignore him. When the bell rings, I dash out of the classroom and don’t look back.
After I quit cheer squad, Arielle blocked me on all her social media, so if I want to talk to her, it’s going to be face-to-face. Rushing into physics before the other students, I leave a folded note on her desk. It worked with Lucas, and it will work with her.
She glides into the classroom, careful not to look in my direction even though I’m only a few seats away. But she makes eye contact after she’s read the note. Curiosity hooks her. She nods once, and we’re set to meet on the field before cheer practice.
***
“So, you want back in?” She stands with her hands on her hips in her shorts. Arielle must be freezing out here dressed like that, but her long legs look lean and tan.
I shake my head. “I have my college lined up.”
She smirks, pressing her cherry-stained lips together. “I hear you’re on the waitlist to Columbia. You feel lucky?”
“Let’s cut to the chase,” I reply. “I need to ask you a question.”
“The answer is lose five pounds, and try a salon instead of a home kit.”
“I’m serious, Arielle. I’m not here to get picked on.”
“Then what are you here for?”
“I need to know about the night I got roofied.”
Arielle drops the attitude and shifts on her feet. Her mouth twists, but there’s no poison in her gaze. She looks disgusted and—almost as if she were speaking to herself—says, “That was so wrong.”
She doesn’t say anything but waits for me to talk.
“After it happened," I ask, "do you know who found me?”
Arielle shrugs her shoulders and then stares across the field as she speaks. “Thinking back, Troy found you.”
“Are you sure that Lucas didn’t find me first?”
She bristles at the mention of Lucas’ name but it passes. “Lucas was with me after he pulled you and me apart.” Her eyes flash as she curls her fists. “He had to calm me down. I wanted you hurt. But not like that. That was different.”
“So Cora and Lexi had nothing to do with it?” I ask.
“I don’t think so. Cora didn’t pour your drink. She just carried it. Look, Natalie,” she says, using my name for the first time without any hint of malice. “Whatever Lucas told you about that night, or any other, is the truth. He’s not a bad guy. I grew up with him, and he tries his best to be decent to everybody. Even though he doesn't have to.”
Arielle’s face softens as she talks about Lucas. For a moment, her face appears sweeter as the sunlight highlights the soft spray of freckles across her nose. I’ve never understood why she covers them with makeup. Arielle looks almost kind as she reassures me that Lucas wasn’t involved. It’s not impossible that Lucas told her to say these things, but mostly for selfish reasons, I want to believe her.
“He said you broke up with him?” I ask.
The softness retreats a little as Arielle squares her shoulders, and her bottom lip quivers as she catches herself. “I did. He’s going through something. I can’t make up his mind for him.”
Nothing she has ever said before has made me feel as bad as I do now. All the cruel names and nasty accusations lose their edge. I swear I didn’t know how she felt about him, but it’s all over now for all of us. Arielle’s right; Lucas needs to make up his mind.
“Why are you asking about that night anyway?” she asks.
“Troy told me that Lucas was responsible.”
If I could hit reverse and swallow my words, I would. What was I thinking? Her expression changes and the hint of sympathy dissolves as something wicked rises up in her. Troy lied about Lucas, but he didn’t lie about Arielle. She’s fucking pissed, and I’m about to feel pain again.
“You’re talking to Troy?” Her eyes narrow on me as if they could cut my flesh.
In two steps, I put distance between us.
“When did you speak to him?” she demands.
“Last Friday, but—”
“You don’t have any classes with him. When would you have seen him?”
Fuck. Jealousy has this girl by the throat, and I have nowhere to hide. “Arielle, I have no interest in Troy.”
Arielle takes a hard step forward, shrinking the distance between us. Her expression is a mix of hate and pain.
“That’s exactly what you said about Lucas, trashalicious.”
Cora and Lexi walk out of the student center in their cheer uniforms. They see us and immediately, walk over. And so it begins again.
CHAPTER 8
Beth
My fingers are rolling the joint I have in my pocket around in circles. I should really be heading toward chem lab to finish my overdue homework. Lord, just let me fail, because I don’t really care. State college, here I come. State college is just as good as Ivy League—plus I won’t see these stuck-up kids there. Besides, when am I ever going to need chemistry again? I don’t brew my own cosmetics. Maybe, if I wanted to dye my hair with red Kool-Aid and blue crayons, but I can watch YouTube for DIY. Hell, I could probably start my own channel called “Bad Hair Decisions with Beth.”
I tug my fingers through my black spikes and wonder if I should pay for a cut or give myself a trim in art class when I look over and see Natalie and Arielle face-to-face. It looks like some blonde-on-blonde action is starting up. The art building is only a hop, skip, and a jump away. I clutch the joint in my fingers. All I want is to hold the pungent smoke in my nostrils and forget that I live in Jersey. But things are looking bad for Natalie when Cora and Lexi show up and saunter over to Arielle’s side. I’m still resenting Natalie a wee bit, but I HATE Arielle and her crew.
“Hey,” I yell out. I attract their attention before the coven circles Natalie in. “I thought cheer had disbanded now that football is over.”
Because I’m low on the pecking order, Arielle steps back and Cora steps up to take me on. That’s fine because it’s funny when Cora’s face turns beet red and matches her ridiculous hair color. I’m ready for the clown brigade.
“Look, you druggy. This doesn’t concern you.”
I wrap my arm around Natalie’s shoulder, and boy, I can feel her sigh of relief through my leather jacket. “My tuition pays for your uniform, bitch. So, I can crash your meeting.”
“That’s ridiculous,” sneers Cora. “Mind your business, Betsy.”
“Wicked attitude, but wrong name, you flaming redhead,” I tell her. “You flunked that quiz, but there’s nothing on me that I want you to suck, so you just have to fail.”
Natalie dips her head to hide a giggle, and for a flash, I catch Arielle smirking until she straightens her lips into a picture-perfect scowl. Arielle pushes Lexi into Cora, sending them squealing on their heels. And who wears heels on an athletic field? It’s almost forty degrees out here. Am I the only one here with enough brains to wear pants? I guess that’s why I’m still single.
Ignoring me, Arielle faces Natalie. “Your little friend can’t rescue you all the time. She can’t be everywhere. If you think the last three months sucked, forget about it. I’m about to pin your sorry face to the mud under my heel.” Smirking, she turns and looks at me. “Which is nothing compa
red to what I’ll do to you if you get in my way.”
Fuck-damn, Arielle is scary, and now, I wish I had slunk off to smoke my joint. Arielle looks happy to see the stunned look on my face. I almost shit my pants when she full-on smiles with satisfaction.
“Wow, why the threats?” I ask, doing my best to hide the tremor in my voice.
Placing her hand delicately on her chest, Arielle laughs, but she’s not joking. “Your friend doesn’t play nice. She likes to take what isn’t hers.”
A chill coasts up my back when I hear the truth said out loud. “Yeah, she has a problem with sharing,” I mumble under my breath.