"Well," Lilyanna started, a frown appearing on her face, "I did not wish to bring unhappy news to our reunion, but I fear I must."
"Is it your mother?"
She nodded. "I am afraid our plan to wait for her approval has failed. You see, I was honest with her, telling her of my visit with you and your family, and she was so very angry. I do not believe she will ever change her mind."
Elijah's frustration with Mrs. Crosgrove only continued to grow as Lilyanna went into detail about her and her mother's exchange, though he attempted to hide his anger as to not upset Lilyanna even more.
"Since our argument, Mother refuses to eat anywhere but her room where she already spends most of her time. I understand her anger toward me, as I disobeyed her. I attempted to say as much to her, but she will not stay in the same room as me long enough for a single word to be spoken between us. I feel as though I have tried everything. I do not know what else can be done."
Elijah thought for a moment, noting Lilyanna's pleading eyes. "I believe you are doing the right thing, Miss Crosgrove," he said. "Maybe someday your mother will understand that you are an adult who can make her own decisions, but until then, perhaps you should continue attempting to speak with her."
"And if she does not ever alter her decision?"
Elijah searched her fearful eyes. "Well, then—"
He paused, hearing footsteps in the distance above the noise of the rivers near them.
"What is it?" Lilyanna asked, turning to follow Elijah's gaze.
They stared in the direction the sound had come from, and Lilyanna gasped when they spotted Mr. Quigley emerging from the trees upon his horse.
"How did he find us?" she asked in a whisper.
"He must have followed you," he said with barely restrained anger as he wondered how long the man had been watching them.
They remained where they stood as Mr. Quigley walked directly toward them, and Elijah felt Lilyanna lace her hand through his arm. He placed a firm hand over her own as his gaze narrowed toward Mr. Quigley, wondering what in the world the weaseling man planned on doing when he reached them.
Lilyanna felt comforted as she stood by Elijah's side, but her courage continued to falter when Mr. Quigley finally reached them, a condescending frown upon his face.
"Miss Crosgrove," he began, staying atop his horse, "I am deeply disappointed to see you here with this man. Your mother would be upset, should she have the misfortune of discovering your betrayal."
"That sounds like a threat, Mr. Quigley," Elijah said at her side.
She tightened her grip on his arm.
"Take it how you will," Mr. Quigley said, wrinkling his nose in a sneer toward Elijah, "but it is my duty to ensure Miss Crosgrove's reputation remains unsullied by abusive men, even ones who proclaim to be gentlemen."
"You would do well to hold your tongue," Elijah said, his tone icy.
"You have no duty where I am concerned, Mr. Quigley," Lilyanna said, wishing he would leave.
"I am afraid I do, Miss Crosgrove," Mr. Quigley said, finally dismounting with awkwardness, due to his lanky legs. "You see, if I wish to form an understanding with you, it would certainly help matters if you maintained a good standing with society. Now, it is time for you to return home."
Lilyanna remained where she stood, still holding onto Elijah's arm as she grew evermore tired of the man's pompous nature. "I will not, Mr. Quigley, but you had better leave us yourself."
She could see Mr. Quigley's frustration at not being obeyed when he suddenly lunged forward, grabbing her free arm. She released Elijah as she tried to wrench her arm from his grasp, but Mr. Quigley's grip was surprisingly strong.
Her struggle only lasted a moment, however, for she soon watched as Elijah swung hard, hitting Mr. Quigley squarely in his stomach. The lanky man immediately released his hold on Lilyanna and doubled over in pain.
"You will not touch Miss Crosgrove again," Elijah said, staring down at Mr. Quigley who heaved in pain, "and you will do as she says from now on."
Lilyanna remained silent as Elijah gathered the reins of the small, chestnut horse and threw them on top of Mr. Quigley's head. "Leave us."
When Elijah returned to Lilyanna's side, she reached over and held his hand. He gave her fingers a reassuring squeeze as they watched Mr. Quigley struggle to stand, still clutching his stomach.
"You will be sorry you did that," he muttered to Elijah as he scrambled up his horse.
He sneered at Lilyanna and rode off in the opposite direction from where he had come, disappearing within the trees.
Elijah shook his head. "I am afraid I have wanted to strike that man for quite some time now."
Lilyanna laughed despite herself. "I cannot say I am sorry you did."
They smiled at each other, and Elijah pulled her close, bending slightly to give her a lingering kiss on her cheek before pulling back, his expression sobering.
"I suppose you had better return now, Miss Crosgrove," he said.
"I know."
"Though I wish you did not have to."
Lilyanna looked up at his handsome face, noting the gloomy look in his eyes.
"I wish it, as well."
"I will watch to ensure your safe return," he said, his voice husky.
Lilyanna nodded her gratitude and started her short journey back to Heatherhill.
She paused, glancing over her shoulder and asking, "Will you write me?"
Elijah smiled. "Every spare moment I can find."
Lilyanna grinned before continuing on her way, looking back to wave multiple times and always seeing Elijah's gaze fixed on her until the trees became too thick to make anything out against their dark limbs.
***
Time continued to pass slowly after Lilyanna's and Elijah's meeting, each day seeming to drag on longer than the last. Mrs. Crosgrove had avoided Lilyanna as much as Lilyanna had wanted to avoid her, so the loneliness and boredom continued to grate on her patience.
One evening, however, as she entered the dining room for dinner, she found her mother already seated at the table.
"Mother, how are you?" Lilyanna asked with surprise, feeling uncomfortable.
"I am well."
The servants entered, bringing in the first course, and the mother and daughter ate their soup in silence, the only sound being that of the clanking spoons against bowls.
However, as soon as the second course began, Mrs. Crosgrove cleared her throat, and Lilyanna looked up at her expectantly.
"I have written to Aunt Gertrude," Mrs. Crosgrove said, her gaze remaining on the heaping spoon of boiled potatoes she dished onto her plate.
Lilyanna remained silent, picturing her mother's aunt who lived in Northumberland. She fought the urge to scowl as she thought of the unkindness the woman had always treated her with.
"Did you hear me?" Mrs. Crosgrove said, once more interrupting her thoughts. "I said I wrote to Aunt Gertrude."
"Have you?" Lilyanna asked, doing her best to mask her disgust.
"Indeed," Mrs. Crosgrove said. "I have yet to receive a reply to my request, but I expect a letter any day now."
"Request?" Lilyanna asked. "What request have you made of her?"
Mrs. Crosgrove looked to Lilyanna for the first time since the meal had begun. "Why," she said, a look of feigned surprise on her face, "to have you stay with her for the rest of the season, of course."
An instant headache formed between Lilyanna's eyes as her stomach seemed to plummet to the floor.
"You wish to send me away to Aunt Gertrude's?" she asked in little more than a whisper.
"Do not appear shocked, Lilyanna," Mrs. Crosgrove said, moving her gaze back down to her plate. "You know you have left me no choice, especially after the lies you have told me."
"I did not lie to you, Mother," Lilyanna said, barely noticing Mr. Harper and the other servants retreating from the room, not needing another request from Mrs. Crosgrove to do so.
"You kept the truth from me of your seeing
Mr. Bainbridge, and that is as good as any falsehood," Mrs. Crosgrove said. "I will not permit a liar to live under my own roof, so you shall be sent to your aunt's immediately upon her acceptance."
Lilyanna's eyes welled with tears despite her attempt to hide them.
"Why are you doing this, Mother?" she asked, her voice cracking with emotion.
"As I said before, you have left me no alternative," Mrs. Crosgrove replied.
She looked up to Lilyanna as her voice somewhat softened. "Contrary to your belief, I am not trying to destroy your life. I wish for you the happiest of futures, but I regret to say it will not be so if you keep on with Mr. Bainbridge. You may not see it now, but one day you will thank me for keeping you away from him."
Lilyanna shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. "If you truly wish for me to have a good life," she said, "why must you ignore my constant attempts to tell you what will bring me joy? I love Mr. Bainbridge, Mother, and being with him will make my life more complete than I could even begin to describe."
Her heart beat fiercely against her chest as she admitted her love for Elijah aloud, and she waited silently to hear her mother's response.
"Love," Mrs. Crosgrove scoffed, her voice hardening. "You do not know what love is. I thought I did, too, at your age, but look at where my stupidity has led me."
Lilyanna wiped away a stray tear rolling down her cheek and under her chin. "I understand you are not where you wished to be with Father, but Elijah and I are different. We speak to each other. We communicate. We do not profess to be anyone or anything apart from ourselves."
She could see her mother's nostrils flaring with anger. "Are you insinuating I am wrong by acting in a way to please my husband?"
"No, of course not," Lilyanna said, moving from her chair to the one closest to Mrs. Crosgrove. "I do not believe there is anything wrong with wishing to make Father happy. However, if you pretend so often, if you hide your feelings and remain silent to the point of making yourself miserable, do you not feel the need to alter your actions?"
"You speak nonsense, child," Mrs. Crosgrove said, averting her gaze.
Lilyanna softened her tone, praying she had struck a chord. "Do you not wonder if you had expressed to him your abhorrence for his absence, for abandoning his wife and daughter for so many years, that he would have left the navy sooner?"
Mrs. Crosgrove turned her angry eyes to Lilyanna. "Of course I wonder about it, child!" she exclaimed. "And I regret it each day of my life. But it is far too late to change it."
Shaking her head, Lilyanna said, "It is never too late to change, Mother."
When Mrs. Crosgrove scowled up at her, she hurried on, desperate to share her true feelings while she had her attention. "I understand you wish to save me from a lifetime of discontent, but I have thought it through carefully, and I know I would be happy with Mr. Bainbridge. He and I share a strong foundation, Mother. We have communicated since the beginning of our relationship. He has always been there for me, to listen to me and to comfort me, and I feel as if I can share everything with him."
She held her breath as she perused every inch of Mrs. Crosgrove's unreadable expression, praying she would be able to get through to her.
"And what of the rumors?" Mrs. Crosgrove said after a short time, her gaze still averted. "Are you going to completely discount the idea of how awful your future life could be if you were married to an abusive man?"
"I can assure you, Mother," Lilyanna carried on patiently, noting a look of concern in Mrs. Crosgrove's eyes, "Mr. Bainbridge is in no way cruel. He is kind and caring, and his family can attest to his good character, as well."
Her mother seemed to contemplate her words for another moment before saying, "Even if what is said about him is untrue, it does not change the fact that you will be followed by these rumors your entire life, causing ruin to come upon your name."
Lilyanna spoke softly and carefully. "What are rumors compared to living happily the rest of my days?" she said, smiling as her hope grew stronger. "I know what my choice entails, Mother, but I know Mr. Bainbridge can make me happier than anyone else in this world."
Her mother abruptly stood, walking over to the door where she paused, her back turned to Lilyanna. "I am sorry," she said quietly, "but I could never forgive myself if I ever allowed my only daughter to marry into such circumstances, false as they may be."
She opened the door, turning her head only slightly to say, "It will be easier for you if you are sent away. I shall inform you immediately when I receive Aunt Gertrude's acceptance."
Lilyanna watched with dismay as her mother shut the door behind her, leaving Lilyanna alone with her thoughts of fear and dread about the future.
***
Elijah scowled, pulling off his gloves finger by finger after he had finally managed to escape the crowded Upper Rooms.
That is the last ball I shall attend, he thought to himself, loosening his cravat in frustration as he stepped out into the cool night air. The evening had been torture from start to finish, and Elijah blamed it all on Mrs. Crosgrove.
The thought of the woman made his scowl deepen even more as her shallow character moved to the forefront of his mind. He had to watch all evening long as Mrs. Crosgrove had brought man after man to Lilyanna to dance with, each one dandier than the next.
The only comfort of the evening had been Lilyanna's consistent glances his way with her reassuring smile ever present upon her lips. He had, of course, returned the smiles, but seeing the woman he loved in the arms of multiple gentlemen rather than in his own embrace caused a protective frustration to burn within his heart.
He knew Lilyanna had not enjoyed it either, especially the fact that Mr. Quigley had been attached to her side like a lovesick puppy, even when other gentlemen were near her, and her frustration with the man did not go unnoticed by Elijah.
His anger returned as he continued his walk home in the dark, thinking about Mrs. Crosgrove and all she put her daughter through for the sake of her own pride and selfish aspirations. The thought of her sending Lilyanna away to live with her aunt far in the north sickened him, and he wondered how much longer he and Lilyanna could manage being apart, especially if it turned to an even greater distance.
The letters they had managed to write each other each week helped in some regard, but even their distant correspondence was beginning to take a toll on both of them. Elijah wished he could do something, anything, to help Lilyanna in her current situation, for her blue eyes filled with frustration each time they had to cross paths in silence.
His mind reverted back to the letter his father had received from Cromley Park's steward earlier that day, requesting his presence for a few business matters. Mr. Bainbridge already planned on leaving within a day or two, but as Elijah walked home alone, he thought it best for him to take his father's place once again, knowing he needed to depart from Bath in order to not become fanatical.
The thought of being away from Lilyanna filled his heart with dread, but he focused instead on the memory of their kiss in those brief but secluded moments together, praying that someday the joy they had felt then would return again stronger than ever before.
***
Days after the public ball, Lilyanna lay in bed in the darkness until she felt it was safe for her to get up, knowing her mother had finally retired.
After moving from her bed to her writing table, she lit a small candle, retrieved her paper, feather pen, and inkwell, and began her letter to Elijah.
Dear Mr. Bainbridge,
I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to hear you have arrived safely in Warwickshire, and I must thank you for your haste letter in telling me so. I apologize for my untidy hand, as I cannot see very well due to my candle wearing thin. I cannot retrieve another at the moment, for it is the middle of the night, this being the only time I can manage escaping my mother's gaze.
You asked me in your last letter if distance is the only reason for my lack of desire to stay with my Aunt Gertrude. I m
ust tell you, I do dread the thought of being so far away from you, but I admit there is another reason.
You see, several years ago, when I was only a child, Mother and I visited our aunt. I remember her great, pruned face terrifying my imaginative mind, for I had thought her eyes had been swallowed up by the folds of her skin. The first night there, as we sat down to dinner, my stomach grumbled fiercely, but I patiently waited for my turn to eat. However, when my time to eat did arrive, I heard my mother compliment Aunt Gertrude on the boiled lamb eyes, and with a feeling of dread, I looked to my plate where there were three rolling lambs' eyes upon it.
You must further know, that very morning, as we traveled to Northumberland, we passed many a green field filled with ewes and their small lambs jumping and running through the grass, so the thought of them being slaughtered and served up on my plate was revolting. When I did not eat them, Aunt Gertrude, interrupting my mother, told me I would eat every bit of food on my plate or I would not be allowed to leave the table. I, unfortunately, could not make myself do so, and for the next hour, as Mother and Aunt Gertrude ignored me, I cried bitterly. Fortunately, the kind butler discreetly slid the eyes off of my plate and motioned for me to hide his actions, which I did with great pleasure. When Mother discovered my plate to be absent of the eyes, Aunt Gertrude made another snide remark, but I was dismissed from my place at the table.
It is unnecessary for me to say I did not enjoy the rest of my visit there, nor will I ever look forward to seeing her again. I sincerely hope my mother will not receive an affirmative letter from Aunt Gertrude accepting my staying with her.
I fear I must go now, as I can hardly see the paper before me, and my eyes are beginning to droop at last. I do dread sleeping at times, for my dreams are quite often unpleasant. However, I shall think of you, even more than usual, in hopes my dreams will be filled with memories of our time together.
Until then and always, I remain faithfully yours,
Lilyanna
Lilyanna folded the paper before putting it securely under her pillow where her mother could not find it. As she made a plan to have the letter delivered to Elijah, she fell soundly asleep into a deep and dreamless slumber.
When Two Rivers Meet (Regency Romance) Page 20