Lilyanna nodded slowly. "I am sorry for being dishonest with you, Mother, but—"
"How dare you!" Mrs. Crosgrove shouted.
A footman walked into the entranceway where they stood, but turned directly around when he heard Mrs. Crosgrove's voice raised.
"How dare you defy me!" she continued.
"Mother, please—"
"No, I will not listen to another word," she said, holding up her hand as her chin raised again. "You will marry Mr. Quigley, for he is a respectable gentleman, one who will bring only good things to your name, though you have attempted to ruin it yourself with your wicked ways. He will make you happy, and that is all that matters in a marriage."
Lilyanna shook her head. "No, he will not, Mother, but Mr. Bainbridge, he can and will make me happy."
"That man will only bring ruin upon you! His parents will never cease bringing embarrassment to you and your family!"
"I understand you are concerned about being acquainted with people you do not identify with," Lilyanna said, and she could see her mother's face turn a deeper shade of red, "but I happen to love Mr. and Mrs. Bainbridge. They are kind to each other and kind to me. They are happy, as will I be when I marry into their family."
Her mother's voice quieted down, and her eyes narrowed. "You seem to think I will allow your marriage to Mr. Bainbridge to occur," she said, each word spitting coldly from her mouth. "You cannot marry him without my permission."
Lilyanna's heart clenched with fear as she was reminded of the words Elijah had spoken to her merely minutes before.
Gretna Green, she thought.
Lilyanna shook her head slightly, saying, "I can only pray Father will listen to me and care about me enough to consent to mine and Mr. Bainbridge's union."
"This conversation is futile," Mrs. Crosgrove said, pointing her finger threateningly at Lilyanna. "You will prepare yourself now to meet with Mr. Quigley, and you will tell him how pleased you are to accept his proposal."
"I will not marry Mr. Quigley," she said firmly, a panic billowing inside. "I am engaged to Mr. Bainbridge, the man I love."
"You will stop uttering such preposterous notions, Lilyanna!" her mother shouted back. "You have no choice but to marry Mr. Quigley, for neither I nor your father will ever consent to you marrying anyone else!"
Lilyanna's tears spilled down her cheeks, and she let out a silent sob. "Why will you not listen to me, Mama?" she gasped.
Without another glance at Mrs. Crosgrove, Lilyanna rushed past her, made her way out the door, and ran outside through the softly falling rain.
Her legs carried her across Heatherhill's gardens, past the stables and trees, past the sheep grazing in the open fields surrounded by stone fences and heather. She did not know, nor did she care, where she ran to, and she did not stop until her lungs' aching matched the pain in her heart.
She slowed her pace before crumpling to the ground and crying bitterly into her hands.
What am I to do now? she thought.
Her sobs quieted down after a few moments, and she wiped her tears away only to see something in the distance that made her heart quicken for a different reason.
There, right where she had left him, sat Elijah, his broad figure leaning against a tall oak tree, his shoulders hunched over, and his head buried in one of his hands.
His horse had wandered a short distance off, chomping noisily on the nearby grass, but Lilyanna kept her gaze on Elijah, having never before seen him in such a dejected state.
And suddenly, her mind was enlightened. Yes, she had become fearful with his suggestion to run away, afraid to give up her childhood dreams of a perfect wedding, afraid to give up everything familiar in her life, but in that moment, she realized how selfish she had been.
She was not alone in her suffering over the past months. Their separation from each other had taken its toll on Elijah, as well, but not once had he complained. Not once had he grumbled about having to hide in the shadows and trees from her mother who did not trust his nature and hated him because of it. Not once had he even protested in waiting two years to marry her, his suggestion to go to Gretna Green merely something to help ease both of their pain and dismay.
She had never considered how Elijah carried her anxiety and fears upon himself, how he helped her feel better at, no doubt, a cost to himself.
And she loved him even more as she realized how selfless he had always acted.
She watched as Elijah lifted his head briefly to wipe away the moisture from his face with his fist, and her heart flipped as her mind began to clear.
None of it mattered. Nothing. Nothing except for the man she loved, the man she wanted to be with forever, the man who loved her just as much in return.
He had always been there for her from the moment they met, always there to listen, to talk, to trust, to strengthen. And the thought of losing him, the thought of not being with him, made her head swirl with agony.
She knew then there was only one way the two of them could ever be together, and she would have to be brave enough to follow that path.
Within a moment, Lilyanna had stood from her lookout and walked quietly to where Elijah remained seated.
"Elijah?" she said when she reached him, the noise from the rivers causing her approach to remain unnoticed.
His head swung up in surprise, and she felt a twinge of guilt as she saw his bloodshot eyes, knowing how unkindly she had left him before.
"Lilyanna," he said, immediately standing and walking over to her, "I am so—"
Lilyanna immediately shook her head and placed a gentle finger to his lips, stroking them softly.
"Yes," she said, smiling up at him.
His brows drew together. "Yes?"
Lilyanna nodded. "Yes," she repeated. "Gretna Green. I want to go to Gretna Green."
Elijah shook his head. "No," he said, firmly. "No, I cannot let you do that, Lilyanna. I was wrong to suggest it before. To ask you to give up so much for the sake of two years? I would truly be selfish should I allow that to happen. I love you, and I can wait as long as it takes."
Lilyanna put a soft hand against his cheek. "Elijah," she said gently, "I want to go with you to Gretna Green."
"Why?" he asked, his brown eyes wary. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"I want to marry you, Elijah," she said, her voice remaining calm, "more than anything else in the world. I was afraid of changing my plans. I was afraid I did not have the courage it would take for me to steal away and go so greatly against my mother's wishes, however I…"
"Yes?" Elijah urged when she trailed off.
"I told Mother of our engagement."
His face remained unchanged as he quietly listened.
"I could not keep it to myself any longer, for she…she has accepted an offer of marriage on my behalf from…from Mr. Quigley."
She watched Elijah's eyes harden. "And she did not inform you of it until now."
"Yes," Lilyanna said, nodding solemnly. "Nor did she care how I felt about it. I told her I would not marry him, for I would be marrying you, and she told me she and Father would never give their consent."
Elijah reached up to wipe a tear from her cheek.
"So you see, Elijah," Lilyanna continued, "this is the only way. She plans to enforce the union between myself and Mr. Quigley, and I am sure very soon, so we cannot wait another two years, even should we wish it."
Elijah pulled her close, and she buried her face in his shoulder, crying silent tears as the weight of her mother's fury and actions weighed down upon her.
"Mother is adamant," she said, her lips touching the lapel of his jacket. "We cannot dawdle in making our plans."
She pulled back and looked into his eyes, seeing only love and compassion in them once again.
"Please know, Lilyanna," Elijah began, "the last thing in the world I wish for is to force you into doing something you do not want to do. Please, make this decision on your own, thinking of what you truly want. I love you, and I want to m
arry you, and if you do not want to go to Scotland, we will find another way. I could never ask you to give up your life and your family, your dreams of your future, to marry me."
"I know," Lilyanna said, tears escaping her eyes again at his tender words, "but this is my decision. This is what I want. My life, my family, my future, is now you."
Her heart swelled when he leaned forward and kissed her tenderly on the lips.
"I love you," he said as he pulled back.
"I love you, too," she replied, smiling as she felt true peace in her heart as her decision was finally solidified.
Chapter Seventeen
Lilyanna flattened her red paisley shawl on her bed before placing her sketchbook in the center of it, followed by a new quill, a change of undergarments, a pair of gloves, and a small, pearl comb given to her as a child by her mother.
She straightened the items on top of one another and gathered the corners and sides of the shawl, pulling them together to form a bag and tying the ends with a long, blue ribbon.
Lifting the bag, she ensured her ability to carry it easily and discreetly before placing a handful of coins, a handkerchief that once belonged to her father, and a few other small items in her reticule. She put the smaller bag next to her makeshift one, sighing as she thought of what little she was capable of bringing due to her size restriction.
Her eyes scanned the rest of her room to make certain she had not forgotten anything important, for she did not know when, or if, she would ever be allowed to return to gather her belongings.
Her heart lurched with sadness at the thought, but she distracted herself by pulling out her dark blue, traveling dress. She placed it on a nearby chair, smoothing out any stray wrinkles, and wondered when the best time to dress would be, for she had already changed into her nightdress to avoid any suspicion from the servants.
She eyed the blue dress, grateful it was easy enough to put on by herself, and prayed her hair would not look too terrible with only her fumbling hands managing it alone, as she could not risk even asking her maid to help her.
She brushed her hair, braiding it into a long plait and trying not to think of how lovely it would be to have her tresses crafted gracefully atop her head in the latest fashion and to wear something newer, prettier, for her wedding day.
Walking over to her writing table, Lilyanna retrieved Elijah's letter she had received only days prior and read through the instructions once more, ensuring herself that she knew of the plan he and his family had created for their journey.
As you know, my mother and father will be joining us on our adventure. We will be taking the 10 o'clock stagecoach at night, as it will be far faster than traveling in our own carriage, and Mother thinks it will be more exciting than taking a private coach. However, the stagecoach will require us to be in close quarters with each other, as well as strangers, and as you will be unable to bring much past your mother's eyes, anyway, it will suit you to bring as little as possible.
At the thought of sneaking past Mrs. Crosgrove, Lilyanna's heart clenched with fear. Could she manage to steal out of her home in the dead of night without being seen?
Her mind swirled with the fears plaguing her mind. She knew she wanted to marry Elijah, but was it fair for her to simply run away?
She looked back down to Elijah's neat script.
Mother is beside herself with joy at our elopement. They find it all rather exciting and could not be happier to accompany us on our journey.
Lilyanna's brows drew closer together at the thought of drawing Elijah's parents into more ridicule with their son running away to Gretna Green, but Elijah's assurance calmed her mind somewhat.
A small smile even broke out on her face as she thought of Mrs. Bainbridge and what the woman must be doing to show her excitement. Lilyanna thought it odd his parents would be joining them, for one did not usually elope with parents present. Yet, she would not mind their company, glad that at least Elijah's family would be there.
Her heart seemed to break a little more at the thought of her own parents missing the wedding of their only child.
Please know, Lilyanna, should you ever change your mind, I will stand by your decision. I do not wish to put you through any heartache or pain. I only wish for you to be happy and to do as you like. I love you. And I want the very best for you and your life.
Lilyanna smiled then, her mind clearing enough to know how desperately she loved Elijah in return. He always seemed to know the perfect thing to say to her to calm her nerves, even in his writing.
Suddenly, a loud rapping on the front doors of Heatherhill could be heard echoing throughout the empty hallways, and Lilyanna whipped her head around to her own door.
"Who on earth?" she muttered as she refolded the letter and tucked it into her reticule, throwing on her spare shawl before exiting her room and closing her bedroom door firmly behind her.
She made her way through the hallways and could hear a man's voice booming in the front room, but only when she reached the top of the staircase did she finally recognize whose voice it belonged to.
"Father?"
She saw Captain Crosgrove look up from speaking to his wife, a smile spreading across his face.
"Little Lily!"
So surprised she was to see him, Lilyanna ignored the use of the despised name and rushed down the stairs to greet him.
"Whatever are you doing here, Father?" she asked as she pulled away from his short embrace.
She glanced to her mother, but Mrs. Crosgrove, who had arrived home early from the evening's concert, stared at Captain Crosgrove with the same look of expectancy.
"I shall tell you that in due time," Captain Crosgrove said, tapping Lilyanna on her nose. "But, first, let us sit in the parlor and call for tea, as I am quite nearly starved from my journey here."
The women followed Captain Crosgrove into the parlor in silence, both waiting to hear what reasons he had for being there, for arriving so late at night, and for giving them no notice of his coming.
After Captain Crosgrove sent Mr. Harper in search of food, he settled into the large, red chair and crossed his legs.
"Now, my dears," he said, "I believe you are both in want of an explanation as to my presence here."
Lilyanna nodded expectantly as Mrs. Crosgrove simply smiled pleasantly at her husband.
"As I am sure you have guessed," he began, "I have been quite busy with my business in London. I thought time would be on my side with my retirement coming closer, however, I have not had the fortune, for, you see, I must ready the gentleman who is to replace me come autumn.
"I spend each day, dawn to dusk, working, sometimes even through my meals. I barely have time to sleep, so busy I am. At any rate, after weeks of neglecting my personal letters, the pile became so big it nearly toppled all over the floor, so I thought it best to look through them."
Lilyanna stifled a yawn as she mentally willed her father to speed up his tale.
"This morning, I scanned through the letters I recognized, thanks be to you both for your kind words to me, then I moved on to read the others. I discovered one with a name that did not sound familiar, so I opened it with great curiosity, only to discover that this gentleman was asking my permission to marry my daughter!"
Lilyanna blushed with surprise until she feared Mr. Quigley might have done the same as Elijah. However, when she looked to Mrs. Crosgrove, seeing a scowl on her disinterested face, she knew Mr. Quigley had done no such thing, perhaps even because her mother had suggested he not.
"Now," Captain Crosgrove continued as Lilyanna returned her attention to him, "does the name Elijah Bainbridge mean anything to you, Little Lily?"
Her heart raced. "Indeed, it does," she said. "He is—"
"Do not listen to your daughter," Mrs. Crosgrove interrupted, her face reddening quickly. "She has—"
"Now, now, Mrs. Crosgrove," Captain Crosgrove said, shaking his finger toward his wife, "what is this with such interruptions? I have not even finished my tale,
and you two seem as if you do not care!"
He smiled when Lilyanna and Mrs. Crosgrove kept silent.
"Now," he began again, "knowing you have heard of him does me good, for now I know this stranger is not trying to win your hand without even your knowledge."
"Father," Lilyanna said, hoping he would hear her out, "he is no stranger to you either. You have met him."
"Have I?" he asked, and frustration filled her heart at her father's uncaring attitude toward someone so important to her.
"Yes," she said, "when you were here last, at the concert, I introduced you to him. He sat next to us during the entirety of the performance."
At the blank look on her father's face, Lilyanna nearly sighed with exasperation, but she was shocked into silence when her mother chimed in.
"He was the man Lilyanna nearly blinded by throwing her fan at him."
Lilyanna looked to Mrs. Crosgrove's criticizing voice and wondered why her mother had spoken up.
"Oh, yes," Captain Crosgrove said, holding up a finger to smooth down his mustache, "I remember now. At any rate, I shall continue with my story."
Disappointment filled Lilyanna with her father's disinterest in Elijah again, but she remained quiet.
"I was quite shocked at having received such a letter, for I was not aware of our Little Lily being so attached to any gentleman at all."
Lilyanna watched as Mrs. Crosgrove struggled to remain quiet, as she, no doubt, tried to be the perfect wife.
The thought of being silenced forever sickened Lilyanna, so she said, "I am sorry you did not know of our attachment, Father. However, I have tried to inform you of such."
But Captain Crosgrove seemed not to hear as Mr. Harper entered with a tray filled with tea, various cold meats, cheese, and biscuits.
"Thank you, Mr. Harper," Captain Crosgrove said. "You may return to your regular duties now, as we shall no longer require your services tonight."
"Of course, sir," he said, bowing. "Goodnight."
Mr. Harper walked from the room, and Captain Crosgrove helped himself to the array of food until he began his tale once again, Lilyanna and Mrs. Crosgrove both waiting impatiently.
When Two Rivers Meet (Regency Romance) Page 23