“I don’t think so, since I don’t have much stuff. I got a lot of it in the car already. But I’m going to need your help with Mom, obviously.” He gave me a look and slung his arm around my shoulder.
“She’s tougher than you give her credit for. She’ll be fine.”
I really wanted to believe that, but when Mom got home about ten minutes later, things were very Not Fine.
“Are you kidding me? You went and looked at an apartment without even asking us? Why would you do that?” I was doing my absolute best to remain calm. Dad had his hand on her shoulder, basically holding her back. Her face was red and I hadn’t seen her so pissed in a long time.
But I had just about had enough. I was done.
“Mom, you have to stop acting like you can control my life. I’m twenty-two years old. I’m a grown ass woman. And yes, I’ve made mistakes here and there, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make decisions for myself. That doesn’t mean that I forfeit my right to live a life apart from you. I love you, but you make it really hard sometimes.” Shit, now I was crying. I didn’t want that to happen. I wanted to be calm and strong and rational. Not a whiny, sobbing mess.
Oh, well.
“I’m your mother. I care about you and you’re acting like I’m a horrible person.” Now she was crying. For fuck’s sake.
“I think we need to take a breather,” Dad said, inserting himself between Mom and me. “Let’s just take a second and calm down and then we can talk about this. No yelling. No name-calling and no accusing. We all love each other, okay?” I nodded and then went out to the porch to get some air. I inhaled deep lungfuls of air tinged with salt from the ocean and spice from the trees. It was cool and helped dry my tears and clear away a little bit of my anger.
I wanted so much to just get in my car right now and go. But that would shatter my relationship with my mother permanently and I didn’t know if we could really recover from that. She was still my mom and I did love her. We would never have the kind of relationship that I wanted, but if we could just... not hate each other. That would be great.
I went back inside and heard Mom crying. Dad had a grim look on his face.
“I’m sorry. I really thought she would handle this better. I’m going to go talk with her. We’ll get it figured out.” He gave me another hug and headed back to wrangle my emotional mother. I brewed myself some coffee and looked through the fridge to see what there was to eat. I found some chicken from last night wrapped in foil and ate it cold with a fork.
My phone buzzed and I found a text from Brooks. Oh, perfect. That was just what I needed right now.
Hey, just wanted to see how you were doing.
It was a vague text, but I knew what he was asking. He wanted to know if I’d opened the gift and what I thought of it. I’d considered sending him a message about it, but I couldn’t.
Good. The picture is beautiful. Thank you. How are you?
I made a face because it sounded like a text that you would send someone you weren’t comfortable talking with. Guess that was how things were going to be. I still hadn’t figured out how I was going to tell him. The coward in me wanted to text him after I got there and call it good.
And then I would imagine the look on his face and how disappointed in me he would be and I knew I couldn’t do that to him. Loving someone really put you in a bind.
I could see him typing something out, deleting it and then typing again. Then silence. I waited for a message, but it didn’t come. The crying from my parents’ bedroom had stopped, so I hoped that was a good sign. Dad finally came out and gave me a thumbs up.
“So, we’re good?” I asked. I couldn’t believe she’d come around just like that.
“Not exactly. But she’s decided that you can go and she’s going to try her best to be supportive.” Oh, joy. She was going to LET me go. I almost retorted back to that, but then I kept my mouth shut.
“Good,” I said. “Should I talk to her now?” He shook his head.
“Probably not. Give her an hour or so. Then we can give it another shot. It’ll be better once she’s had a chance to get used to the idea.” Well, she was gonna have to get her head around it, because I was out of here. Nothing was going to stop me from leaving.
Nothing.
Seventeen
Brooks
I wanted to tell her. I’d tried to tell her. I wanted to make the words “I love you” come out of my mouth, but I couldn’t. Because then if she stayed, I’d always wonder if it was because of me. If she would someday resent me. I would never be able to live with that, so I kept my mouth shut.
“You haven’t told her, have you?” Mom asked the morning after the night with Remi.
“No. And I’m not going to. I’m not throwing that wrench into her plans. She wants to leave and I won’t to stop her.” I shrugged.
“I still think you should tell her. Let her make the choice. She’s a big girl. She can handle it.” I listened to Mom’s advice, but I was still not going to tell Remi. I texted her and asked how she was doing and she gave me a sterile response, thanking me for the picture. We exchanged a few more casual messages, but nothing serious. Whatever was between us was over. We’d shut the door on that chapter and now it was time to move on.
I stared at the drawings I had of Remi. I wanted to burn every last one. So cliché. Instead, I stacked them up and put them in my closet. I couldn’t look at them right now. It hurt too much.
Being at the store made me think too much of her, so I asked Falyn and Ezra if they’d cover for me. They agreed without too much begging on my part. I wasn’t sure what to do with my time, but I needed to not be anywhere that I would run into Remi. Which probably would mean I’d stay locked in my room doing moody art for at least forty-eight hours.
That was my plan until the next day when there was a knock on my bedroom door. I thought that it was Mom, asking me if I was okay, but it wasn’t. Remi Wright was standing there, her face red and her eyes focusing on anything but me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. She cleared her throat and shuffled into the room, closing the door behind her.
“Your mom said you were up here. I went to the store, but you weren’t there.” She looked like she wanted to do anything but be in this room with me right now and I had a sick feeling in my stomach.
“Why were you looking for me?” I asked, setting my charcoal down and dusting off my hands.
“What the fuck is this?” she asked, holding up a thick envelop of paper and a set of keys.
“I’m not sure,” I said slowly, but that was a lie. I knew exactly what it was.
“Don’t you bullshit me, Brooks Benson. This is a goddamn lease to a building that I did not sign or pay for. So who did?” I opened my mouth and she stormed across the room. I’d called just recently about leasing the place Remi had fallen in love with in Portland. I had enough cash from selling the art prints and if I could sell some more pieces during the art show, I could make it work. My parents had actually agreed to co-sign when I’d pitched the idea to them. Avery had helped negotiate. I’d been so scared that it wasn’t going to go through, but it had somehow worked out. And now Remi was waving the paperwork and the keys in my face and yelling at me. I hadn’t expected anything less from her.
“How dare you? What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you do that?”
“Because I love you.”
Remi
“Why?” I asked and he gave me a wry smile.
“Why wouldn’t I love you? You’re smart and you make me laugh and you are your own person. You’re just YOU and I love it. You. Everything. From the ends of your purple hair down to your cute toes.” I didn’t know my toes were cute. Not really the point, but good to know.
“Oh,” I said, feeling like I was going to tip over. I stumbled to his bed and sat down. The drawings were scattered all over the floor and I found myself looking at pictures of me. But a better version. The version that Brooks apparently saw. She was beautiful and co
nfident and sexy. I didn’t feel like any of those things at the moment. Brooks sat down in a chair across the room from me. Giving me space to breathe.
“Since when?” I asked. I couldn’t form complete sentences anymore.
“I’m not sure. But then it was happening and I didn’t know how to tell you. Because I knew you were leaving and I didn’t want to be the thing that stood in your way. Because I love you.” He really liked saying that.
“Oh,” I said again. I needed a minute. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths.
“Well, that’s good that you love me, because I love you.” My entire body shook as I said it because I was so scared of the words, but once they were out, he looked at me and smiled so bright that all the terror was totally worth it.
“Can you say that again?” he asked.
“I love you,” I said, this time the words were stronger. “I love you and I’m moving to Portland and I don’t know what the fuck is going to happen. I thought that I couldn’t have you and have my dreams, but why not? Why can’t I have both?”
“I don’t know.”
There was a beat of silence and then he got off the chair, walked toward me and pulled me to my feet.
“I need to kiss you now.”
“Okay,” I breathed and then his mouth was on mine and all my doubts melted away with his kiss. So what if I was going to be in Portland and he was going to be here? Maybe... maybe I could come back. Or he could go there in a few years. And it wasn’t like it was so far we couldn’t visit. There was no good reason to say that it wasn’t going to work before we even tried.
I’d been immature and stupid about everything. I could finally see that. I couldn’t deprive myself of Brooks because I thought it would somehow make me happy. Brooks made me happy, period. Baking made me happy. Being on my own made me happy. These things were not mutually exclusive.
“I wanted to tell you not to go,” he said, breaking the kiss. “But I didn’t because that would be totally selfish. So I want you to go and not worry about me. I’ll come and see you and maybe... maybe I can join you in Portland someday.”
I grinned up at him. “Really? That would be great, because I talked to someone at the art school there and he thinks you have a good shot of getting in.”
“Are you fucking serious?” he asked, his eyes wide with disbelief.
“Yes, I am fucking serious. I gave him your number so he’s probably going to call you.”
He chuckled and shook his head.
“We’re a mess.”
“We are.”
He kissed me again.
“You make me want to do things and be something and be someone, Remington. You shot color back into my life and I’ll always be grateful for that. No matter what happens.” If I hadn’t loved him already, that would have done it. Those words.
“You make me not hate this town and that’s a huge deal. And I couldn’t have done Sweet Shots without you. I wouldn’t be doing any of this without you. You believed I could do anything.” He kissed my nose.
“Believe. I believe you can do anything.”
“Yeah, well, I feel the same way about you, Brooks Benson. And maybe we can do anything together.” I cupped his face and let myself fall into his eyes. No more reservations. No more excuses. No more holding back. I was letting myself fall over the edge and Brooks was coming with me.
“Together,” he said, reaching up and twisting his fingers with mine.
“We’ve got this.”
Epilogue
Brooks
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Remi said, rushing into the gallery, her hair curled and bouncing everywhere.
“It’s okay, you’re not late,” I said. I’d told her to meet me a half hour before the show started. Just in case.
“You bastard,” she said with an indulgent smile, giving me a kiss. Her mouth was closer to mine since she was rocking some beautiful black heels with her silver dress. She had eyeliner on as well as red lipstick. Total knockout.
“I should be hanging you on the wall,” I said, stepping back so I could get the full effect. She twirled and curtseyed, which was talented because the dress was not that long.
“How was the trip?” I asked her as she leaned into me and I put my arm around her.
“Good. How are you? Are you nervous?” I gave her what I hoped was a confident smile.
“Not at all.”
“Liar,” she said, poking me in the stomach. I led her over to where my pieces were hung. I hadn’t let her see which ones I’d chosen because I’d wanted to watch her face when she saw the biggest one.
“Oh my God I hate you,” she said as she looked at the charcoal drawing of her. I’d gotten the inspiration for it when I’d spent the weekend at her apartment and we’d ended up fucking on the living room floor in the middle of the afternoon. The sunlight had lit up her skin, showing the curves of her back and it was so beautiful that I couldn’t let it go without capturing it. She’d let me draw her that day and several times since then. But she hadn’t known I was going to show this one. I’d only drawn her back, so no one would know it was her.
“Everyone is going to know this is me, you asshole,” she said, but she was grinning from ear to ear.
“No they won’t,” I said and she just smacked my arm.
“Yes they will, but I’m okay with that. I had a feeling you were going to pull this crap.” She was still smiling.
“Still love me?” I asked.
“Unfortunately,” she said, kissing my cheek.
Things between us were good, despite living in two different places. I was working on building up my portfolio so I could apply to the Maine College of Art for next summer’s semester and Remi had already said that I could come and live with her in her apartment. It was a huge step for the both of us, but I figured by then we’d be ready. She’d already started up the bakery and was paying the lease on her own. With only a few weeks of business, Sweet Shots was the hottest ticket in Portland and she was killing it. Of course, that meant she was busy as hell, and I didn’t get to see her much, but when she did visit, it was amazing.
We’d finally had sex in my room and she’d gotten much better at staying quiet. After a lot of practice and a few awkward encounters with my parents.
Things with Remi’s parents were getting better, slowly. I’d been over to dinner with all of them and her mom had basically asked me why I hadn’t proposed yet. I talked my way out of that one, but she hadn’t stopped putting on the pressure for me to marry and knock up her daughter.
Remi had also braved a Benson family dinner and survived. Everyone loved her. She and my mom talked on the phone at least once a week. She had eased herself into my life and my family and I just couldn’t imagine living without her.
“You did good, Brooks,” she said, putting her arm around me.
“Thank you, Remington.”
Her hand slid lower and squeezed my butt.
“Stop that,” I said. The last thing I needed tonight was a hard on when I was supposed to be talking about my art.
“Never,” she said. “Never ever.”
Acknowledgements:
This book was one of those that was down to the wire. Thanks so much to my editor, Jen, who is the one who makes my books better and my publicist Jessica, who has so much patience with me.
This is the first book in a new series and I hope you love Remi and Brooks as much as I do. I loved spending time with them, even though I was STARVING the entire time I was writing this book.
I really wanted to write this series to show what love in a small town is like. No billionaires or cowboys or football stars (not that there’s anything wrong with those books. I love them!) here. Just regular people falling in regular love, but it can be just as magical as falling in love with a vampire.
About the author:
Chelsea M. Cameron is a YA/NA and Adult New York Times/USA Today Best Selling author from Maine. Lover of things random and ridiculous, Jane Auste
n/Charlotte and Emily Bronte Fangirl, red velvet cake enthusiast, obsessive tea drinker, vegetarian, former cheerleader and world's worst video gamer. When not writing, she enjoys watching infomercials, singing in the car and tweeting. She has a degree in journalism from the University of Maine, Orono that she promptly abandoned to write about the people in her own head. More often than not, these people turn out to be just as weird as she is.
Other books by Chelsea M. Cameron:
Nocturnal (The Noctalis Chronicles, Book One)
Nightmare (The Noctalis Chronicles, Book Two)
Neither (The Noctalis Chronicles, Book Three)
Neverend (The Noctalis Chronicles, Book Four)
Whisper (The Whisper Trilogy, Book One)
Deeper We Fall (Fall and Rise, Book One)
Faster We Burn (Fall and Rise, Book Two)
Together We Heal
My Favorite Mistake (Available from Harlequin)
My Sweetest Escape (Available from Harlequin)
Our Favorite Days (My Favorite Mistake, Book Three)
Sweet Surrendering
Surrendering to Us
Dark Surrendering
For Real (Rules of Love, Book One)
For Now (Rules of Love, Book Two)
Deep Surrendering
UnWritten
Behind Your Back
Back to Back
Bend Me, Break Me
Find Chelsea online:
chelseamcameron.com
Twitter: @chel_c_cam
Facebook: Chelsea M. Cameron (Official Author Page)
Brooks is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, business establishments or locales is entirely coincidental.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. All rights reserved.
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