by Jen McIntosh
With a sigh, she got to her feet. She might not know the answers, but she knew who would. But before she could demand those answers, she had things that needed seeing to. So she squared her shoulders and returned to her rooms.
Erion was sitting in her armchair by the fire, facing the door, wearing a scowl with his arms folded across his chest. Renila regarded him as she closed the door behind her and leaned back against it.
‘Someone has just arrived at the castle,’ she said. Erion pulled a face that said he’d gathered as much, and he’d rather she just cut to the chase. With a deep breath, she continued. ‘The Lady’s husband.’
Erion stilled, and his expression faded from one of anger to one of shock, then to one of hurt and jealousy. His eyes swirled between storm-grey and ferocious wolf-yellow as emotions warred within him. Renila could only watch on while he struggled with the revelation. She realised it would hurt him to see the twins reunited with their father when he knew nothing of his, and likely never would. But Renila couldn’t shake the hope that Lord Alvar’s arrival had brought. Perhaps he might overturn the Lady’s decision to cast them out?
‘What’s he like?’ Erion asked.
Renila stared into the fire. ‘He seems like a powerful man,’ she murmured, thinking back to that flickering aura. Erion’s eyes swirled to green as he frowned at her. She smiled and shrugged. ‘His stallion’s the biggest horse I’ve ever seen – even bigger than Storm.’
That got her son’s attention. ‘I don’t believe it!’
Renila chuckled at his indignant expression.
‘It’s true,’ she assured him. ‘The Lady didn’t seem happy to see him. I don’t think she’ll notice if we delay our departure a little. Besides, he might feel differently about us.’
‘So we might not have to leave?’
She heaved a sigh and rose. ‘Maybe. I’ll try. But I’d prefer it if you’d stay here. You’re safer out of sight.’
Erion scowled but nodded in agreement. Renila smiled and squeezed his shoulder in reassurance before turning to leave. She paused on the threshold as Erion spoke, his voice quiet and broken.
‘Why does she hate me so much?’ he whispered. Renila flinched from the hurt in his voice, even as rage and bitter loathing for the woman who caused him such pain flared. She hesitated. She could lie to him, try to soothe his injured soul. But he had confided in her, and she would not repay that trust with dishonesty.
‘I’m not sure,’ she admitted. ‘But I won’t ever let her hurt you, Erion.’ Her son said nothing, but a pale light flickered in his grey eyes, like sunlight shimmering through the thinnest cracks of a thundercloud. Renila drew herself to her full height, pulling her rage around her like armour, before she slipped through the door and locked it behind her once more.
Though the hallways lacked the panic that had filled them the night the twins had disappeared, they maintained the same buzz of nervous chatter that set her teeth on edge. Word had spread, and now everyone was hoping to glimpse the Lady’s mysterious husband. Farran was nowhere to be seen, but it was for the best. He wouldn’t be happy that she’d defied his orders. Again. She didn’t care, any more than she cared for the whispers and open stares that followed her as she stalked through the castle. Let them say what they wanted about her, think what they pleased. All she cared for was Erion’s safety.
She flitted into an empty room, leaving the noise of the crowds behind her, and scanned around to get her bearings, then allowed herself a small triumphant smile. The children weren’t the only ones aware of the secret passages. She darted across the room and pulled a tapestry aside, sparing a glance at the image. A warrior woman cloaked in raven feathers standing on the field of battle. How appropriate. Then she slipped through the door hidden behind it.
Engulfed in darkness, she moved through the shadows with certainty. As she passed the twins rooms, she paused long enough to open the hidden door a crack and peer inside. A maid was helping Suriya dress while Lucan paced. Despite the tension in their shoulders and worry on their faces, they seemed well enough. No doubt they’d heard of their father’s arrival and were anxious about meeting him. She didn’t blame them. She couldn’t imagine how she’d feel meeting her father for the first time. A pang of regret washed through her. She should be with them. It pained her to think she might not be able to help them through this.
She retreated into the black of the passage and continued onward, navigating the labyrinth by memory. She slowed as she approached the Lady’s chambers, the sound of raised voices drifting through the cracks. The Lord and Lady’s argument had continued in her absence.
Some instinct told her to quieten her mind and hide it from sight. She didn’t stop to doubt it. She’d learned long ago that her instincts were rarely wrong, and the Lady had an eerie ability to recognise what she was thinking. She closed her eyes, turning her attention inward, and stilled her thoughts. Imagined them shrouded in shadow, fading into the darkness like a wraith. She didn’t even dare to breathe as she inched closer.
‘Will you calm down?’ the Lady was hissing. Renila lowered herself to the floor and peered through a crack in the wall. The Lady was sitting in her chair by the fire while Lord Alvar paced in front of her, thunder and lightning flashing around him once more. He growled in response and refused to stop pacing, but the aura faded. With a sharp sigh of exasperation the Lady continued. ‘Why have you come?’
‘You know damn well why,’ he snapped. ‘Layol sent me. Once again, you appear to have bitten off far more than you can chew.’
‘All I asked of Layol was that he clean up his own damn mess,’ she said.
But he ignored her. ‘What was that performance about our marital status for?’ he snarled, as he rounded on her, those ethereal purple-grey eyes glowing with barely restrained fury. The Lady didn’t flinch.
‘I realise it was more than a few years ago now, and that you like to pretend it never happened. But there are a few witnesses still with us who remember the exchange of vows at our wedding,’ she sneered.
‘The woman I made those promises to died a long time ago,’ he spat, folding his arms across his chest. ‘You’re just the cold-hearted bitch who wears her face.’
The Lady smirked, but there was no humour in her eyes. ‘I ceased caring for your opinion about the same time you let your father lock me away in that tower. So I suggest you shut your mouth, or I will shut it for you.’
‘You didn’t frighten me then, and you don’t frighten me now, Gaelan,’ he breathed.
She stood, drawing herself to her full impressive height as she stared him down.
‘Well, I should,’ she warned him, her voice quiet and all the more menacing for it, ‘because as you so delicately pointed out, I do know why you’re here. And it has nothing to do with either me or Layol. She’s always been your weakness, Alvar, since the day he dropped her in your lap, and now I hold her life in the palm of my hand.’ Lord Alvar was silent as he held her gaze, and Renila could practically smell the emotions warring within him. But then the set of his shoulders changed. It was almost imperceptible, but she recognised defeat when she saw it.
‘What do you want?’ he said.
The Lady smirked again. ‘What I want is for Layol to remove his mess from my home, but apparently that is not going to happen any point soon. So I’ll settle for you staying here and helping me keep those children hidden, until such time as Layol deigns to do as he’s told. Even if that means asking you to play the husband you always failed to be and the father you never were.’
‘And if I do that, you’ll set her free. You’ll give her back to me?’ he asked.
The Lady’s malicious smile broadened, and she closed the distance between them. She leaned in and hissed in his ear, ‘I didn’t take her from you. She left of her own accord. Came begging me to hide her. And now you are nothing but a stranger to her. She’s free to leave any time she wants – but good luck convincing her to go anywhere with you.’
Renila couldn’t see L
ord Alvar’s face, but the dark glee on the Lady’s made her shiver with fear. And as the Lady swept from the room, Renila felt a huge swell of pity for the handsome Lord she left in her wake. Then the door closed behind her and he dropped his face into his hands, fingers fisting in his hair and shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
Something inside her longed to go to him, to hold him in her arms and whisper soft assurances in his ear. But she shook herself. He was the Lady’s husband, even if they were estranged. Besides, he was a complete stranger.
Stranger. Renila blinked as the Lady’s words filtered through and understanding dawned. You are nothing but a stranger to her, she had said. She left of her own accord … Could it be that the Lady was referring to her? Was Lord Alvar the reason she had come to the castle seeking shelter in the dead of night? Did he know who she was? Where she came from?
A cold, sinking feeling crept into her bones. Was he the one she was running from? If she was the one the Lady was referring to, it sounded that way. But as she watched Lord Alvar pull himself together, she doubted it. Some instinct told her he was kind, and as she watched him struggle with his pain, she thought that despite his wrath, he was at heart a gentle soul. But more than that, there was no hiding from the feelings of hope and affection that he stirred in her – inexplicable though they were.
A stranger he might be. But every fibre of Renila’s being screamed for her to trust him. The Lady’s husband or not … she had to know the truth.
Captain Farran was pacing outside her door when she returned to her rooms. His handsome face was lined with worry, but that concern faded at the sight of her – only to be replaced by annoyance, no doubt remembering that she’d ignored his orders. Again.
‘Are you incapable of doing as you’re told?’ he growled.
‘Sometimes,’ she admitted, holding the door open for him. Erion looked up from the book he was reading when they entered and, looking past Farran, raised a quizzical eyebrow at his mother. Renila shook her head, and though his eyes swirled to green, he shrugged and turned his attention back to his book.
‘At least you’re being honest about it,’ Farran grumbled, oblivious to the exchange.
‘How can I help you, Captain?’ Renila asked. He glanced at Erion, but Renila remained impassive. Whatever he had to say to her, he could say in front of her son. Though she kept a respectable distance between them.
‘The Lady has reconsidered your banishment,’ he said. ‘With Lord Alvar’s arrival, she finds she can no longer spare either you or the boy.’
Erion snorted. ‘Hard to believe.’
Farran blinked, stunned by the boy’s apparent impertinence. But try as she might, Renila couldn’t halt the smile that rose to her lips as she swelled with pride. Where grown men might falter, her son continued, refusing to cower to anyone. She could hardly believe he was hers.
‘She mentioned you specifically,’ Farran said to Erion, when he found his voice at last.
It was Renila’s turn to gape in shock. She looked between the grim-faced Captain and Erion whose eyebrows had disappeared up into his hair with surprise.
‘What?’ she demanded.
Farran shrugged and crossed his arms. ‘Lord Alvar requires a squire,’ he explained, ‘but the only one with any experience is Olly. So she’s assigned him to look after her husband and given me leave to select and train a replacement. She suggested Erion.’
‘What?’ Renila exclaimed again.
Erion closed his book with a snap and held the Captain’s gaze, his eyes swirling between green and yellow.
‘What’s her game?’ he asked. ‘What’s she trying to do?’
Farran frowned and stood up straighter. ‘The Lady honours you with such an opportunity. I suggest you show a little more respect.’
Renila held her breath but said nothing as Erion leaned back in his seat and studied the Captain. He had picked this fight. She would not humiliate him by interfering. It was his to win or lose by himself.
‘Respect is earned,’ he said. ‘And you must think highly of yourself, Captain, if you believe I should find training to be your squire an honour.’
There was a muscle leaping in Farran’s jaw as he stared the boy down. But there was something in Erion’s eyes that made him falter. Pursing his lips, Farran took a deep breath and nodded. ‘A fair point well made,’ he conceded. ‘She wants you kept out of Lord Alvar’s way. If you’re training with me, you’ll be too busy to get underfoot.’
‘And Lord Alvar likes to ride, so keeping me busy in the stables won’t cut it,’ Erion continued for him.
Farran smiled, and Renila could have sworn that respect and a touch of pride glimmered in his eyes when he inclined his head in agreement.
‘I think you and I will get along just fine,’ he said.
But Erion wasn’t finished. ‘That depends … What are you intentions towards my mother?’
‘Erion!’ Renila scolded, stepping between them. But her son ignored her, his eyes settling to ferocious-yellow as he held the Captain’s gaze. She turned to Farran, her cheeks flaming with embarrassment. But the sad set of Farran’s mouth stopped her in her tracks.
‘I love your mother very much,’ he admitted, ‘and had we met fifteen years ago, I would have asked her to be my wife.’
‘Farran,’ Renila breathed.
But he ignored her, speaking to her son as he continued. ‘But we didn’t, and instead, I was pressured into an arranged marriage. I have no love for my wife, but honour is my code, and I made a vow to her the day I wed her. No matter how much I may wish to take the words back, I don’t know that I have it in me to break them.’
‘So you have no intentions towards my mother?’ Erion asked. Farran glanced at Renila then and smiled, a smile that made her heart flutter, and her breath catch in her throat.
‘I didn’t say that,’ Farran murmured, still looking at Renila. She felt her cheeks warm once more under the intensity of his gaze. He took a deep breath and looked back to Erion. ‘But I cannot act on any of my intentions while I am still married.’
Erion nodded in understanding and stood, offering his hand to Farran. ‘You’re a good man, Captain, and should circumstance ever change, then I would be happy to call you father,’ he said.
Farran smiled and shook the proffered hand while Renila blinked in confusion.
‘Thank you,’ Farran said, clapping a hand on the boy’s shoulder. ‘Now, off down to the stores with you. I need my new squire properly attired. I’ll meet you in the training ground for your first lesson in an hour.’
Erion grinned and darted from the room, pausing to give his mother a fierce hug. As the door closed behind him, Farran chuckled while Renila collapsed onto her bed in shock, throwing her arm over her face to hide her embarrassment.
‘I’m not sure I like the thought of you two spending so much time together,’ she said darkly.
‘He’s quite a serious boy, isn’t he?’ Farran laughed. Renila made an indelicate noise in response. He only laughed harder. The bed shifted as he sat down beside her. She peered out from under her arm to see him looking down at her, mischief glinting in his warm brown eyes.
‘If you lied to my son, there will be trouble,’ she warned.
Farran grinned and leaned over her.
‘I didn’t lie,’ he promised. Then his lips met hers, and she forgot herself for quite some time.
When she could finally think straight, she said, ‘You told him you couldn’t act on any of your intentions while you were still married.’
‘I didn’t intend to kiss you,’ he assured her, ‘but your lips looked so inviting that I couldn’t help myself.’
‘Sophistry,’ she argued, scowling. ‘You’re a married man, and you promised Erion that you had no intention of being unfaithful to your wife.’
Farran sighed but rolled over and stood up from the bed, offering a hand to help her sit up. ‘I love you, Renila,’ he said, ‘and my honour demands I remain faithful to Breag. But this morning
I thought I would never see you again, and my heart was so hurt by that thought that my honour was pushed aside. And now, I cannot forget the taste of your lips, nor the feel of you in my arms.’ He broke off, running a frustrated hand through his hair.
‘Farran—’ she began, but he cut her off.
‘It’s not just that,’ he continued. ‘Erion is the son I always dreamed of having. To be around you both … It feels as though the Gods are giving me a second chance.’
Renila stood and went to him, allowing him to pull her to his chest as she gazed up at him. ‘You are our second chance too,’ she breathed. ‘Be careful with him, will you? He’ll try to hide it, and deny it if you ask, but he is sick. He tires easily, and each day is worse than the last.’
‘I’ll care for him as if he were my own,’ Farran promised and then kissed her again.
They were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. Farran smoothed his hair as he crossed to the door, glancing back to see she had composed herself. The rueful look on his face told her there would be no hiding what had transpired, but he took a deep breath and opened the door.
There, in the hall, stood Lord Alvar.
Farran was the first to react, bowing as he held the door open for his Lord. But Renila was transfixed by those purple-grey eyes that regarded her, noting the disarray of her hair and the just-kissed flush of her lips. Those thundercloud eyes darkened, and Lord Alvar scowled. He turned his attention to Farran, releasing her from the spell of his terrifying gaze. Remembering herself, she dropped into a low curtsey.
‘Captain Farran, I presume?’ he asked.
Farran straightened and nodded.
‘How may I help you, my Lord?’
‘You could explain why you’re here and not in your office? Or on the training field with your men. Or anywhere else that one might expect to find the Captain of the Guard?’ he snapped. Renila didn’t dare look up, but she knew Farran’s cheeks would be flushed with a mix of anger and embarrassment.