“Elizabeth,” I reply, taking his hand and shaking it. He grins again before releasing mine. He nods to my car.
“The custom work on your car is impressive. Who did it?”
“Place near Seattle.”
“Is that where you’re from?”
“Are we playing twenty questions?”
Preston chuckles again. “Sorry about that. I tend to get nervous around really beautiful women.”
Now I really do my eye roll. Is this guy flirting with me? Perhaps, I should consider flirting back. Do I even know how to flirt? That thought makes me wonder if I ever had a boyfriend growing up.
At the thought of having a boyfriend, something heavy presses and squeezes my heart, like a hand’s crushing grip. The pressure is suddenly unbearable. Sadness and a deep longing envelop me, threatening to pull me under. I close my eyes tight and see flashes of silver and light brown.
“Hey. Elizabeth. Are you okay?” I feel a hand shake my shoulder. I blink.
“Huh?”
“You started staring off into space and breathing really weird. Are you having an asthma attack? Do you need me to get you anything?”
Shit. Not again. These episodes have become more numerous since I arrived in North Carolina. I experienced a few before in Seattle. My doctors said it was likely a memory trying to resurface but struggling to get out. And just like every other episode, nothing tangible comes. I’m still a blank slate of nothingness.
Not wanting to explain myself to this guy, a guy I just met and don’t know, I brush off his concern. “Sorry. Low blood sugar. Haven’t eaten today,” I fib.
“Well, let me remedy that for you. Come on. There’s an awesome deli across from the quad in the student center that serves the best hoagies. My treat.”
I consider Preston. He’s a great looking guy. He seems nice and he hasn’t done anything that would set off my internal alarm bells. What the hell. I need to start my new life at some point. Since I can’t remember the past, I’m damn sure going to make a new future. No more hiding. No more fear. It’s time I start living again.
“Lead the way,” I tell him.
Chapter 1
Ryder
Julien walks into the kitchen, takes a cold bottle of water from the fridge, twists it open, and guzzles the entire thing down. His shirt and shorts stick to his skin which is drenched with sweat. I’m standing at the stove scrambling eggs to go with the bacon I just took off the burner. Julien grabs a piece of bacon and leans against the counter island.
“Jay up yet?”
“Yeah. He’s on the phone.”
Julien perks up at that. “Any news?”
I shake my head no and divide the eggs onto three plates then add bacon to each one. Sliding Julien’s over, he grabs it and shovels a fork full of food into his mouth. He’s usually starving in the morning since he gets up at five to run ten miles, rain or shine. Julien needs it. Running for him is an outlet, ten miles that allow him to shut his brain down and just be in the moment.
Normal moments have been few and far between for the three of us this past year. My release is racing. I need the adrenaline rush to steady my thoughts and keep me grounded. There’s a professional race track a half hour from here where I spend most of my evenings. Jayson is a different story. His escape used to be at the bottom of a liquor bottle. Now his emotions are channeled through his fists in an underground fight club.
We hear Jayson walking toward the kitchen. “Yeah, yeah, okay, man. Thanks. You know the drill. Call anytime if you find something. Yeah. Good. Alright, man. Talk to ya soon.” He tosses the phone on the counter and grabs his plate. “Fucking hell.” He falls onto the stool next to Julien.
“Why do we keep paying this guy again? It’s been months and he still isn’t any more successful than we are.”
Jayson spreads his arms across the counter, dropping his head with an exhausted sigh. “I know. I fucking know.”
I notice his cut and swollen knuckles and I open the freezer to grab a bag of frozen peas. He fought last night and I’m surprised he isn’t more banged up. He usually comes home with a black eye or two or a busted lip, or bruised ribs. I’d rather he use his fists to fight his demons than get cirrhosis of the liver. He was a fucked-up mess for a while. Soon after Elizabeth disappeared, Jayson started drinking heavily to the point he would black out most days. I envied him. I would have given anything to escape the pain I woke up to every damn day she wasn’t in it. But I needed to be strong for her and do what I know she would have wanted. That meant helping Jay, giving him a reason to live. There was a time when Julien and I thought we would lose him too. It took a lot of tough love from all of us, our parents included, to lift him out of his deep depression and bring him back to the light. He’s surviving, barely. It’s good enough for now.
Julien has fared a bit better than his brother. He has Elijah. Elijah helps take some of that weight off my shoulders. He keeps Julien grounded, keeps him going. I will never be able to thank him enough for that, for giving up his dream of going to Stanford to come here to CU to be with Julien. Elijah’s a good man.
I think about the past year. The year without Elizabeth. You always hear people say that time moves on. Days turn into weeks that turn into years. Seasons change, people change. Time stopped for us when Elizabeth disappeared, when she was taken from us to who knows where. Our families struggled with the pain of losing her, of losing Hailey and their parents. Their killer was never found. No resolution, no justice. Nothing.
I don’t think any of us will ever recover. I don’t think Jayson and I ever will. We were the ones who first found all of them. Found Elizabeth gasping for breath on the blood-smeared floor, red pooling all around her, staining her blond hair an ugly scarlet. I can still feel the weight of her limp body in my arms as I watched her life slowly drain away. Her parents both dead in the living room. And Hailey. God, Hailey. A fucking nightmare. It never ends. Just plays like a goddamn horror movie set on repeat in my head day after day after day.
After Elizabeth’s attack, we visited her every day in the hospital until an incident between Jayson and a staff member got us all banned. A short forty-eight hours later, Elizabeth was gone. Since we’re not family, no one would tell us anything. We now live in an empty void, wondering what happened to her; if she’s still alive, if she exists only in the shell of her body, if she ever came out of the coma. Does she dream about us? Is she scared? Does she think we abandoned her? Every night we fall asleep with thoughts of only her. Every day we wake up the same. We hunt for any clue online that she is out there, praying that one day there will be something to give us hope — a picture, a post, a news article, hell, even an obituary — anything that tells us what happened to her or where she is. Several months ago, we hired a private investigator, the guy Jayson was talking to on the phone. We will never give up until we have answers.
Jay, Jules, and I live together in a condo off campus. It’s a two-story, three-bedroom floor plan. Our parents leased it jointly so the three of us could live here. We kept our promise to come to Carolina University, but honestly, I don’t remember most of last year or if I went to half of my classes. We were just trying to survive day to day. I’m surprised we made it to our sophomore year, but here we are, three weeks away from the start of the first semester. Jayson bailed on his swimming scholarship, but his parents were more than happy to fit the bill for his education. Anything to help Jay from tumbling back down into the soul-sucking darkness again. Julien maintained his scholarship and is a center forward for the CU soccer team. I still plan to get my MBA. Elizabeth was so excited for me to do that and I won’t let her down.
I tip back the rest of my coffee and rinse the cup out. I started drinking black coffee with two yellow packets of sweetener just like Elizabeth loved. Small things to help keep memories of Elizabeth fresh in my mind. They help keep her close to me.
I grab my keys and wallet. “I’m out of here, guys. I have to stop by the student store and pick up a te
xtbook.”
“Elijah’s going to pick me up in an hour. We’re reading to the kids at the library.” That’s Julien’s little echo of Elizabeth that keeps her close to him.
“Jay, what’s on the agenda for you today?”
“Sleep. Web search. Work out. The usual.” Yep. That’s our new normal now.
“I’ll help you when I get back. Give me about an hour.”
“No rush, man.”
I brought my Hellcat with me to college because there’s no way I will ever sell it. I remember the first day I took Elizabeth out in it. She came out of the library and basically drooled all over it, saying she was going to marry it. She named it Stella. I laugh at the memory. God, that was a good day. I park Stella in one of the student pay-by-the-hour lots on campus, lay my head back, and shut my eyes. I can picture Elizabeth sitting next to me in the passenger seat, her long flaxen hair flying around her face from the wind through the window. Her squeals of joy and excitement when I raced around the track at the Fields. The way she smelled. Her fucking delicious scent of jasmine and sunshine. I miss her so goddamn much. I take a deep breath and shake my head to stave off the sadness that will overtake me if I allow it to.
As I walk to the CU student center, I encounter other students and faculty members milling about the grounds, the campus full of students doing summer courses. It’s the first week of August, the heat of summer bearing down, hot and sticky. The mingled smell of dirt, grass, and honeysuckle vines is pungent. Girls are lying on towels spread out in the grass. Some in bathing suit tops and denim shorts trying to get a tan, others reading or working on their laptops. A group of guys throwing a frisbee, all shirtless because of the heat. The sun is out, puffy white cumulus clouds dot the sky. It’s a gorgeous day. Unfortunately, I’m not in the mood to enjoy it. I never am anymore.
“Hey, man. I’ve been yelling your name for the past two fucking minutes. Where’s your head at?” Fallon jogs up to me.
Out of all the people I would have expected not to go to college, especially a state-run college since his family has more money than Midas had gold, Fallon coming here shocked the hell out of me. Yet, here he is, also a sophomore like us since he took a year off after graduating high school to sail on his family’s yacht. Come to find out, his parents went to school here and they donate a shitload of money to the university. One library and an academic hall are named after them, and Fallon is a legacy member of his dad’s old fraternity.
“Surprised to see you here —” I look at my watch — “before noon.” Fallon’s usual M.O. is to stay up all night and sleep all day.
He throws his arm around me. “Fuck yeah, man. We have to clean the frat house and get it ready for incoming rush. Fucking freshman virgin holes.”
“Fallon, you were one of those freshmen last year.”
“Shit no. I’m a legacy. I am the king. Everyone else bows to me, motherfucker.”
“Thanks for reminding me why I never want to join a frat, ever. Having to put up with your bullshit antics day in and day out…” I trail off. Fallon just grins.
“I have a proposition for you, Ry.”
“And that would be?”
“I bought a new car and want to test it out on the track to see what she can do. You in?” I think this is Fallon’s third new car this year. I can’t complain much seeing as I’m the lucky guy he asks to test drive them on the track. Why he doesn’t do it himself remains a mystery to me.
“What car did you buy?”
Fallon pops a stick of gum in his mouth. “A totally kickass Radical RXC.”
“Hell yeah! I’m in. When?”
“I thought you’d want to pop her track cherry. This weekend good?”
“Yeah. Send me a text. I’ll be there.” We get to the student center and walk in. Fallon spots a group of girls and veers away to chat them up. Just like in high school, he’s as much of a manwhore in college.
I head to the back of the store where the textbooks are located and search for the one I need for Marketing Analysis and Development. I’m looking at the price and debating whether I should find the book used online or see if there’s a digital version when someone’s laughter catches my ear. The hairs on my skin stand up. I look around me. I hear the sound again and my body follows it like I’m a fish caught on the fisherman’s line being reeled in and there’s nothing I can do to escape its pull.
I see Preston, a guy I know from one of my classes last year. He spots me heading his way. Sweat breaks out all along my forehead, my palms go clammy, my heart begins to pound out of my chest, a sick feeling swirls in my gut. I feel like I am about to pass out or explode into a million jagged pieces, my body can’t decide which. My vision blurs and I use the back of my hands to wipe them. Am I crying? Am I even breathing? My legs have stopped moving but I feel like I’m flying. It’s a strange sensation. I blink a few times to clear my vision. Each blink is like the click of a camera shutter. My brain catalogs each blink, each click, storing every image away. My ears record every hum, every noise. I swallow thickly, my mouth bone dry.
My gaze is frozen. Unmoving. Locked onto the person standing next to Preston.
My brain can only process a few words.
Holy fuck. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.
I must have said the words out loud. The person in front of me turns around. Sage green eyes, pale blond hair tipped with rosy pink, full lips, the most beautiful face I have ever seen. A face that has haunted me for over a year. A face that I have loved for most of my life. She’s here.
“Elizabeth?”
“Yes?” Her stunning verdant eyes scrutinize me like she’s meeting me for the first time.
Preston looks from me then to her. I’m probably freaking everyone out because I’m crying and almost hyperventilating, but I don’t give a shit. She’s here. Jesus. How could the PI not know she’s right here! My phone keeps ringing nonstop now. Whoever it is can fucking wait a goddamn second.
“Elizabeth, you’re here. How in the hell are you here?”
She looks at me like my question is full of the most confusing words she has ever heard. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
What the hell? “Baby, it’s me. Ryder.” My hands are shaking so bad with the desire to snatch her into my arms and never let go, but something’s wrong. Something’s not right. My phone rings again.
Her eyes travel over my body and back up to my face.
“Do you know Elizabeth?” Preston asks me, clearly confused about what’s happening.
I ignore him, all my attention focused on Elizabeth. “Where have you been all this time? Why didn’t you contact us? What the hell’s going on?” My voice rises in frustration because she’s acting like I’m a stranger.
“Elizabeth, do you know Ryder?”
She clutches at her chest which is rapidly moving in and out now. “I...I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know. Of course you fucking know me. We’ve known each other since we were nine years old.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers up at me, eyes wide and panicked. “I don’t remember.”
“Elizabeth, what the fuck is going on?” This time I do reach for her and she stumbles back into Preston who catches her by the shoulders.
“Holy shit! Elizabeth?” Fallon shouts, rushing up from behind me. I completely forgot he came in the student center with me.
Hearing her name spoken once again, Elizabeth turns in the direction of Fallon.
“I’m sorry,” she cries and pushes away from Preston. “I can’t do this.” Frantically clawing at Preston’s grip, she breaks free and takes off like a bat out of hell.
“Elizabeth!” I shout after her which causes several people in the student center to glare at me. I can’t let her leave. I have to stop her. Before I’m able to make two running steps to chase her down, Preston shoves me back hard.
“I don’t think so, man.”
“Move, Preston. Get the hell out of my way.”
“Not moving.
She’s clearly afraid of you guys.”
My phone starts ringing. I try to push past Preston again, and again he stops me. Enough of this shit. I raise my fist prepared to knock him out so I can go after Elizabeth, but Fallon jumps in and holds my arm in a death grip. “Stop, Ry.”
I yank my arm down and whirl on Fallon, fury and rage now directed at him. “Not a chance in hell. Don’t try to stop me, Fallon. That was Elizabeth. My Elizabeth! We’ve been searching for her for over a year, Fallon. A whole fucking year! And she’s been here. Jesus!”
“Yes, and clearly she doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“She acts like she doesn’t fucking know me!” I scream back at him.
Someone must have called campus police. Through the front glass of the center, I see two officers dismount from their bikes and walk inside. A girl behind the register points in our direction.
Fallon sees them as well. “Ry, let’s go, man. Come on.”
He leads me quickly to the back exit, Preston in tow. We then dart inside the campus library next door and Fallon ushers us up the stairs a few floors before opening the stairwell doors. Making sure that the coast is clear and no one is on the floor or near the stacks, we walk inside and head over to a sofa facing the wall of windows.
I start pacing in the front of the windows like a caged tiger, my emotions all over the place. “I don’t understand. How could the PI not know she was here? Where the hell has she been all this time?”
“You hired a PI? To find Elizabeth?” Preston asks me, absolutely confused.
I need to know exactly what Preston knows. Right now.
“How do you know Elizabeth?” I demand.
“Dude, I just met her like thirty minutes ago.”
“Keep talking.”
“I don’t think so. Look, I’m obviously missing something, and I don’t want to get involved. I’m just going to leave.”
Fallon crosses his arms and leans his hip against the sofa, a picture of pure relaxation and ease. Only his voice and eyes say different. “What you’re going to do is answer the man’s questions. You’re here on scholarship, right? Would be a pity if something happened to that.” Fallon’s tone makes it clear he’s not asking, he’s telling.
Paper Stars Rewritten: Fallen Brook Series: Book 2 Page 2