I close my eyes and picture her. There’s a memory there and I grab it, forcing it forward. I’m opening a silver star. The same as the ones from my dreams. The same as the ones hanging from my bedroom ceiling. The ones from Jayson. Inside is written: “a daughter who has your eyes and your smile.”
I don’t know what comes over me. I don’t know why I do it. But I kiss him. I kiss him right there on the kitchen floor. My mouth on his. His breath becoming mine. Jayson moans and I feel that too. I feel it like a bucket of cold water. What am I doing? What the hell am I doing?
I shove him back and scramble up from the floor. My chest is heaving so hard, I feel like I may pass out from the exertion.
“Liz, wait.”
But I don’t. I run out of the room and out of the condo. I run until I get to my car. Why did I do that? What is the matter with me? I turn the ignition on and drive. I drive for an hour, navigating unfamiliar streets, until I find myself sitting in my car, looking up at my apartment window.
My phone pings and I notice the time when I unlock the screen. Shit! I only have a half hour before I have to be in class.
ScaryGuy: It’s not over between us. It will never be over between us. When ur ready, I’ll be waiting. See u later after chem.
Fuck! My heart is beating a mile a minute. I take a few deep breaths. I love Ryder. I want Ryder. I get angry at my memories. The secret I told Fallon was the truth. I’m afraid of remembering. I’m terrified that what Jayson told Ryder last night might be true. I won’t allow it. I’ll fight it. I’m a fighter. I’ve proven this past year that I am. And I will fight for Ryder.
I take out my phone and text Fallon.
Me: Another secret. I don’t think you’re a piece of shit.
Fallon: I’m afraid of bunnies.
I fall back against my seat and dissolve into a fit of laughter.
Me: Thanks. I needed that.
Fallon: You and my boy. My frat. 2nite. House party.
Me: U know Ryder hates your frat house.
Fallon: 8 pm. Party. Be there. Ry needs to let loose and have some fun.
Me: Alright.
I exit my car and walk up the three flights of stairs to my apartment.
“Ryder?” I call out, placing my keys on the entryway table.
“Back here, babe.”
I find him in the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, lather on his face. He swipes up his chin with a razor, then taps it and rinses it under the faucet. So goddamn sexy.
“They have electric ones, you know.”
“I like it the old-fashioned way. How was your run?”
“Julien and I talked for most of it. I also spoke to Jayson.” Ryder side-eyes me.
He finishes shaving and puts the razor down. Taking a hand towel, he wipes the remaining lather off his face. “I really wish you wouldn’t have.” Turning, he rests his hip against the bathroom vanity, arms crossed in front of his chest.
I reach for his face, wanting to feel its clean-shaven smoothness and breathe in the lingering scent of his shaving foam. It doesn’t surprise me that he sees the necklace almost immediately. His long, masculine fingers trace down the chain to finger the locket.
“He give you this?” Ryder turns it over and reads the inscription.
“Yes.”
“It’s beautiful.” This man. This considerate, wonderful man.
“I love you so fucking much, Ryder Cutton.”
I know I must appear a mess right now. My skin is itchy with dried sweat. My face is blotchy from crying. My hair is a tangled web of blond and pink that has escaped the ponytail I had it in. But Ryder is looking at me with nothing but love and desire in his eyes.
“I love you, Elizabeth Fairchild.” He kisses me sweetly. “And you’re going to be in so much trouble later tonight.”
“Why?”
“I found your notes.”
Ryder
“How the hell did I let you rope me into coming here again?” I ask Elizabeth.
As soon as I got to her apartment after my last class, she rushed me back out the door saying we were meeting up with Fallon. I was not happy. I had been looking forward to doing all those naughty things she wrote me in the notes she left around the apartment this morning.
We have to park down the road from Fallon’s frat because most of the fraternities are having parties tonight. The different styles of music blast out from every frat house and meld together in a raucous melody that reminds me of fingernails down a chalkboard. We’ve only walked a block down frat row and I’ve already been stopped by six people I know. Elizabeth doesn’t seem to mind, especially when I introduce her as my girlfriend. She looks so fucking sexy tonight in her tight black jeans and red blouse that hangs off one shoulder. She left her hair down and my fingers twitch with wanting to glide them through her soft, messy waves.
“There’s my boy!” I hear from a lawn across the way. Fallon is hanging out with a group of people sitting on a sofa that has been placed in the middle of the yard.
He walks over and grabs Elizabeth, lifting her up and spinning her around. “And here’s my kitten!”
“Put me down, Fallon!” she tells him, but she’s laughing. I’m so confused right now.
“What’s up, Ry?” he says to me.
“Not much, man.”
“Come on,” he tells us, then yells at the group hanging around the sofa, “John! Heading in.”
John answers by lifting his red cup high. Fallon always knew how to throw a party in high school. This is the first one of his I have come to while at CU. It wouldn’t surprise me to see a bonfire out back, even though it’s against campus fire code. As Fallon takes us up the porch stairs and into the house, several girls try to get his attention, but he ignores every single one. His attention has been on Elizabeth who has been chatting to him the entire time. She’s smiling. I hear Fallon tell her something that sounds like burnt marshmallows, and she throws her head back laughing. My confusion at their sudden camaraderie turns into wondering what the hell does burnt marshmallows mean?
I remember Elizabeth hated Fallon’s parties in high school, so I’m worried that she’s going to feel uncomfortable here tonight. I bend down to her ear, “Babe. You good?”
She turns her head and kisses my cheek. “This is my first party,” she says excitedly. I guess that’s my answer. I kiss her temple and move her in front of me to take her hips in my hands as we follow Fallon to the back of the house. She leans back into me and I can feel her ass sway to the music as we walk.
“Preference?” Fallon asks us when we get to where the alcohol is.
“Shots?” Elizabeth queries.
“Fuck, yeah! Ry, you want a Three Wise Men?” he shouts over the music.
“Water,” I tell him. If Elizabeth is doing shots, I need to stay sober. He passes me a bottle and makes two shots, one for himself and one for Elizabeth.
“Clowns,” Fallon tells her. “The color orange,” she says. They clink glasses and tip back their shots.
I bend down to her ear again so she can hear me over the music. “What the hell are you and Fallon talking about?”
She takes the beer bottle he hands to her. “Our worst fears.”
Fallon motions for us to follow him outside. The back yard is decked out in patio lights strung from tree to tree and across the large deck. The lot for the frat house is giant. There’s a swimming pool to one side of the back deck and a single tennis court to the other side. Someone throws a football from across the yard to the swimming pool and cheers erupt when a guy catches it before diving under the water.
Fallon approaches three girls and two guys sitting on one of the deck couches. They’re passing a joint around. One of the girls, a redhead, smiles when she sees him.
Fallon snaps his fingers at the five of them. “Get the fuck off my couch.”
The guys scramble up and walk off, but the girls linger behind after getting up. The redhead stumbles forward and whispers something in Fallon’s ear. “
Later,” he tells her and swats her ass. One of her friends, a blond, has been staring at me. Her eyes widen and she tries to whisper something to the third girl, but it comes out louder than I think she intended.
“That’s Ryder Cutton! He’s so fucking hot.”
I feel Elizabeth’s hands grab the back of my jeans and what sounds like a tiny growl. The redhead and her two friends walk away giggling. When we take the seats just vacated, Elizabeth sits down in my lap, wrapping her arm around my shoulders, and I rest my hand on the side of her hip. She starts massaging the back of my neck and playing with my hair. Such an innocent touch but one that’s monumentally significant. It’s a touch of familiarity. A touch that couples who are comfortable with one another do. I settle back with my girl in my arms, and for the first time in over a week, I relax.
“Where’d you go last week?” Fallon asks me. I guess Elizabeth hasn’t said anything to him.
“Family stuff.”
“You’re an asshole.” He chuckles, and I take a swallow of my water. “So, kitten. What do you think?” he says, spreading his arms wide and looking around as if he’s showing off his kingdom. More cheers go up from the pool area. I crane my neck to see what the ruckus is all about.
“For the king of CU, it’s not too shabby.” He snorts and finishes his beer. A guy passes by us heading inside. “Chris! Get me another beer,” Fallon shouts.
Chris runs inside and comes back out, beer in hand like he’s offering it as a tribute to a god.
“Anything else, sir?”
Fallon tells the guy no and dismisses him.
Elizabeth bursts out laughing. “Is one of your talents ordering people around? You’re really good at it.”
“Nah, kitten. He’s a freshman pledge. He has to do whatever I tell him. Just part of the initiation.”
“And part of the reason why I will never join a frat,” I tell her.
A silky voice interrupts us. “Hey, Fallon.”
A tall girl with long brown curly hair sits down on the wood deck flooring at Fallon’s feet. He pats her on top of the head and she literally purrs. Fallon introduces her. Her name is Becca and she’s the sister of the VP of Fallon’s frat, and from the way she sits at his feet, another of Fallon’s groupies.
Several guys walk over and soon we are surrounded by a group of people. Becca and Elizabeth start chatting and a few of the new guys ask me about racing. It seems that word has spread that I’m here, so all the racing fanboys are making their way to where we are. A piercingly loud squeal erupts behind us and Meredith pops up next to Elizabeth.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming out tonight?”
“Hey!” Elizabeth happily replies, then frowns and looks around. She crooks her finger at Meredith to come closer. Since Elizabeth is still in my lap, I hear their conversation. “Is Trevor here with you?”
“Yeah. He’s inside.”
“Meredith, this is Fallon’s frat,” she tells her, cocking her head to indicate where Fallon’s sitting.
Meredith looks over. “Oh, shit!”
Oh, shit indeed. I already had to stop Fallon from attacking Trevor in the cafeteria. No telling what will happen here if they come face to face. Trevor seems to know a lot about his little brother, so I have no doubt he knew this was Fallon’s frat. Which begs to differ, why is he here?
“What should I do, Elizabeth?”
Too late. The air charges and shifts around us. Trevor walks out of the house and stops short when his gaze lands on Elizabeth. I look over and see Fallon stiffen, his lips pulled back in a half-snarl.
“Fallon!” Elizabeth calls over to him. “Not tonight.” I don’t know what kind of voodoo magic Elizabeth has over Fallon, but his snarl turns into a smirk. He gives her a small salute and relaxes back into the couch.
Trevor watches this play out and cautiously walks over. “Hey, Wildcat.”
“Hey, Trevor.”
Trevor passes a wine cooler to Meredith.
“This is actually really cool. All of us together at a party,” she says. The music from the house changes from hard rock to pop. It’s awful, but Meredith seems to like it because she’s dancing around the sofa. When she makes it to Trevor, she says, “Want to dance, big guy?” He looks at Elizabeth again and my inner caveman comes out.
“Fal, I’m taking my girl to dance,” I tell him and pick Elizabeth up. She giggles as I practically carry her inside to where everyone is dancing in the living room. I don’t look to see if Trevor and Meredith follow us. The beat of a Top 40 song is pounding and colored strobe lights flash around the room. As soon as we join the throngs of moving bodies, sweat prickles down my spine in response to the collective heat being given off. I set Elizabeth down and she turns around in my arms. There’s not much room to move, let alone dance, but that doesn’t stop my girl from twisting and writhing against my body.
I hear Meredith somewhere, but she’s so tiny, I can’t make out where she is among the dancing bodies. I do see Trevor. He’s looking right at us.
Elizabeth turns my face so I’m looking directly into her eyes. “That’s better,” she says and loops her arms around my neck. “Thanks for coming with me. I’m having a great time.”
I reply by kissing her. She sighs into my mouth. Our intimate dance quickly turns into twenty minutes of frenzied groping and wet kisses. When our mouths finally pull apart, Elizabeth pants in my ear, “I wish we were home.”
“Want to get out of here?”
“Yes, please.”
She doesn’t have to tell me twice. I grab her hand and rush her outside so I can tell Fallon we’re leaving. If I thought things were bad between Fallon and Trevor, that’s nothing compared to the dread that hits me when I see Maria and Jacinda walking up the steps of the back patio. They’re wearing bikinis so must have been at the pool when we arrived. I’m going to kill Fallon. Maria’s eyes lock onto me and a look of shock crosses her face. Then she notices Elizabeth and my stomach clenches when I see the pure hatred that replaces her initial shock.
Jacinda follows Maria’s gaze and starts laughing hysterically. “Holy shit! She’s like a fucking cockroach. I thought she was supposed to be dead.”
I release Elizabeth’s hand and take a menacing step toward Jacinda, but I’m stopped by Fallon.
“I didn’t know, Ry. I swear I didn’t know they were here. Let me handle this.”
“Ryder, what’s going on?” Elizabeth asks.
“You’re a fucking liar,” Maria seethes at me. “You’re here with her?”
It’s been over a year and a half since I broke up with Maria. She and Elizabeth used to be best friends, or that’s what I thought. Maria used her friendship with Elizabeth to get close to me, and I was stupid enough to ask Maria out because Elizabeth was with Jayson. The fact that Maria is still jealous over Elizabeth after all this time makes me pity her.
Fallon stands in front of Jacinda and Maria, arms crossed. A crowd gathers knowing something is about to go down. Memories of another party at Fallon’s house creep into the back of my mind. For once I’m glad Elizabeth has amnesia.
“Get the fuck off my deck and out of my house.”
Jacinda was always a viper. She was like the female equivalent to Fallon but with the last shred of decency stripped away. “My boyfriend happens to live here, asshole. You can’t make me do shit.”
“As soon as I find out who he is, I’m kicking his ass out of the frat.”
“You can’t do that!” she screeches.
“I can do a lot worse. You know that Jacinda.” She blanches and inches back to get distance from Fallon. She knows firsthand the power Fallon wields.
“What’s going on?” Meredith inquires curiously. She and Trevor must have just come back out.
“I have no idea,” Elizabeth tells her.
“You’re such a bitch, Lizzie! I knew you were fucking Ryder even though you were with Jayson,” Maria yells at her.
“I said leave. Not telling you again,” Fallon warns again
at the same time Elizabeth says, “Are you talking to me?”
“Who the fuck would I be talking to? You’re a selfish bitch. You stole him away from me!”
I try to pull Elizabeth away from the scene unfolding but she’s not budging.
“Did you just call her a bitch?” Meredith flies forward and stands with Fallon, her tiny fists clenched into tight balls. I hear Trevor say behind us, “You better watch your fucking mouth you stupid cunt. I have no problem hitting a girl. Apologize, now.”
Elizabeth yanks on my arm. “What the hell is going on, Ryder?”
“Baby, I need to get you out of here. I’ll explain everything when we get home.”
I don’t hear what Maria says to Meredith, but whatever it is causes Meredith to lose it. She tackles Maria like a linebacker, taking her down. Fallon and Trevor and several other guys charge in. Everything disintegrates into complete chaos, a tangle of fists, screams, and grunts.
Elizabeth and I must look fucking stupid as we stand and watch the melee. Some huge guy runs up from the side of the house, his sights set on Fallon.
“Shit. Don’t move. Stay here,” I tell Elizabeth and go help my friend.
Fallon’s back is turned, so he doesn’t see the big fucker coming. I reach him just in time. The guy’s fist is reared back, but I catch it mid-flight, bending it down, and twisting. He screams as I snap his wrist, breaking a bone. I shove him back and he goes down, cradling his arm against his body. Fallon whips around and sees the guy. The grin he flashes me has me smiling in return.
“Just like old times,” he says, reminding me of a past that I keep buried deep down. He snakes a fist out and it hits some dude’s head. I grab another guy who is swinging for Fallon and flip him over in a body slam, the impact causing the deck flooring to shake. I place my foot to his side and push him down the stairs. As the fighting settles down, I look for Meredith knowing Elizabeth will be worried about her friend. Trevor is with her. I don’t see Maria or Jacinda anywhere. They must have high-tailed it after the fighting began. Good.
Fallon wipes the blood from his hands onto his slacks and shouts out to the crowd, “Party is over, motherfuckers! I find any video of this online, I will find you and you will not like it.”
Paper Stars Rewritten: Fallen Brook Series: Book 2 Page 25