And her eyes took in the abandoned room, too. The stove Mama had blacked faithfully to keep it shiny was rusted and home to a family of mice. The furniture sagged sadly, stuffing and sawdust spewing out. The packed dirt floor was no longer swept clean. In fact, a few weeds grew directly under the hole in the ceiling.
Macie remembered, with a heavy heart, waking up to find that her family had passed from this earth. She made her way over the uneven floor to the place where their coffins had stood: Pa there, Mama here, and Teddy on the end. All the love and life they’d had was gone. Teddy would never grow to be a man. He’d never step up and help Pa with the ranch. There would be no wife, no babies, no grandchildren for him.
Mama and Pa would never know that Macie had married Blake Bradfield. Should they one day have children of their own, their mother’s parents would be no more than stories passed on to them from someone else. Macie couldn’t get Pa’s blessing on her marriage. She could never ask her mother’s advice on how to bind a quilt or best wash diapers or bake that casserole Macie had so loved.
To her dismay, rather than feel as though her sharp grief was easing to gentler mourning, Macie was filled with anger at the stupid waste of her family’s death. The loss of everything that had truly mattered swallowed her and Macie sank to the floor, sobbing loudly.
***
Blake waited outside, trying to guess what would be the right thing to do. His wife had gone inside a few minutes before and he imagined that she might want some time alone. They’d chatted off and on during the long ride. As they approached the homestead, though, Macie had grown distracted and stopped talking altogether.
What would it be like to suddenly lose his whole family? Blake’s stomach clenched at the thought. He’d had plenty of disagreements with his kinfolk, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t love them. They worked side by side and lived in close quarters, too. What if Troy had died before he married Clora? Little Troy Junior would never have been born. It was a sobering thought and Blake’s heart went out to his grieving wife.
When loud wails reached his ears, Blake took off towards the derelict cabin. He ducked through the door and then waited as his eyes adjusted to the dim interior. Everything inside was in as much disrepair as the outside. Whatever this home had once been was long gone, eaten away by time and nature.
Finally, the dark blurs took shape. Blake wove around the heaps of rotting furniture and crouched down when he reached Macie. She had her face buried in one hand, the other arm across her stomach as though to keep herself from shattering. As she wept loudly, she rocked back and forth.
It was the most heartbreaking thing Blake had ever seen. He mourned his grandfather, sure. But Macie seemed as though she was ripped in half. Her grief seemed as fresh as it must have been the first day she learned of her family’s death, five years back. No wonder she wanted to come here and stand among the memories.
Compassion filled him and Blake hunkered down next to his wife. Without considering whether or not it was wise, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. Immediately Macie’s arms wrapped around him, hugging him as though she was afraid she’d be swept away by some terrible wave.
They sat there in the darkness for a long time. Blake was encouraged when Macie’s sobs quieted and eventually became little more than shuddering gasps. He rubbed her back soothingly and pressed his lips against her hair. It seemed like the worst possible timing imaginable, but Blake couldn’t help but notice how nice her hair smelled.
Finally, Macie sat up. She tugged her handkerchief from her pocket and mopped her eyes and nose. Her face was swollen from the tears, Blake noted, though the sight drew his compassion and not his disgust. She put out a hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet. The two stood, looking around the room, and Blake tried to think of something to say.
“Lucien Durning bought this property a few months after you left,” he explained quietly. “He hasn’t done anything with it yet, as you can see.”
Macie nodded and seemed to be packing away her sadness for a later time. “I’m ready to go,” she hiccupped.
Blake stood back, watching as she squared her shoulders and walked to the door. Never in his life had he felt so helpless. If only he knew what to say or do to ease her pain! But there was nothing to be said. Her family was gone and he couldn’t change that.
They mounted up. The sight of Macie’s unnaturally straight shoulders as she dug in her heels shot another pang of regret through Blake.
“What was your family like?” he blurted, then winced, afraid he’d made an awful blunder.
Eyes fixed on the road ahead, Macie took a deep breath before beginning. “My father was a blacksmith by trade. He was apprenticed out as a young man, but he dreamed of having his own ranch. My mother was the daughter of his master. She always said she fell in love with Pa the first time she saw him, but it took him nearly three years to notice her.”
“Three years?” Blake repeated. “She must have been a persistent woman to wait that long.”
A small smile cracked Macie’s carefully bland expression. “She was stubborn, that’s true enough. Teddy was just like her. The two of them would have the fiercest battles of will, even when he was a baby. One time, Teddy wanted his rattle, but Mama needed him to go to sleep. He kept his little fist clenched around it so hard that Mama couldn’t get his fingers off it without hurting him. Teddy even fell asleep, holding tight to that rattle.”
Blake laughed and was greatly relieved when Macie gave the briefest of chuckles. He found that he was desperate to keep her talking, so he asked, “But you weren’t so stubborn?”
“No, I took after Pa.” Macie shook her head. “He was more of a peacemaker. He cared that everyone around him was happy far more than getting his own way.”
The young Texan tucked that information away. Macie had just revealed a vital clue about the sort of woman she was. He was curious as to what else she might reveal if only he could continue this line of conversation.
“To be honest, Pa let Mama bully him a bit,” Macie admitted, her head cocked as she reflected. “They were happily married, don’t misunderstand me, but Pa cared more that they didn’t argue than that he stood up and did what he thought was right. Not that he was actually in the right all the time, of course.”
“You disagree with the way your father did things?” Blake clarified.
A slim shoulder lifted and dropped. “I hope you don’t think me wicked for speaking ill of the dead.” Macie threw him a worried look.
Blake shook his head quickly. “Not a bit. I think it’s important to remember people the way they really were. Otherwise, you can’t learn from their mistakes.” The image of his grandfather swam into his mind’s eye, but Blake pushed that aside easily. Surely, Granddad hadn’t made any mistakes Blake needed to learn from.
Macie looked relieved. She went on, “Pa had his dream of owning a ranch and Mama worked hard to help him achieve it. But it was as though she thought he then owed her some debt. She’d dig in her heels about something or other and Pa would get this resigned look on his face and just give in. So many times, I wanted Pa to argue back. I suppose I thought that if he did it, one day I would get the courage to stand up to her when she was bossing me around.”
“Did you get on with your mother?” her husband pressed.
“Most of the time, yes. She was clever and funny. She knew everything about how to clean a house, sew a dress, or grow vegetables in the garden. Mama loved music and she sang all the time, though she wasn’t especially gifted at it.” Macie looked off to the ramshackle fence that edged the far side of her family’s property and smiled wistfully again. “There isn’t just one word to describe my mother. She had so many facets. I always wanted to be more like her. I’m afraid I’m too simple and too eager to please.”
Suddenly, Blake was overwhelmed with the desire to do right by this woman. Maybe he was just feeling the after effects of her emotional journey. Maybe it was the way her pretty
profile looked when she gazed off down the road, the sun catching in her light brown hair, freckles spreading across her nose. It was a wild, emotional, illogical desire and Blake knew it.
He had every intention of parting ways with her down the road. Yet, with all his heart, he desired to do everything in his power to give Macie the life and love she’d lost. He had to fight off the picture of the two of them surrounded by a passel of children. And it took all his mental strength to make the image of holding her in his arms and kissing her disappear.
The sensation lingered all the way through their subdued picnic and the ride back to the Yellow Rose Ranch. Once they dismounted and walked slowly back to their cabin, these crazy feelings made Blake pause at the door and pull Macie into one more comforting embrace. And to his delight, she laid her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist, sighing deeply.
After a long moment, Macie smiled up at him shyly before walking into the house, hips swaying pleasantly. Blake ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. What had he done?
Chapter 15
Exhausted from her emotional day, Macie fell into bed and was asleep almost instantly. She woke in a very good mood and happily set about her day.
However, it quickly became apparent that her husband had not enjoyed such a good night’s rest. Blake was sleepy and slow to get going the following morning. As it was the day they were heading off to their adventures, Macie was surprised that he wasn’t bounding off, eager to greet the day ahead. But, no, across the breakfast table from her was a yawning, grunting man whose shirt was buttoned wrong and who had forgotten to comb his hair. She hid her smile behind her coffee cup and said nothing.
An hour later, Troy and his family were noticeably absent from their send off. Judy, Len, and Harris were all on hand to wave the newlyweds away. Len checked that the pair of horses were harnessed correctly while Harris rearranged a few crates in the back of the wagon to prevent them being jostled unnecessarily on the bumpy road ahead. Judy tucked a basket full of food within arms’ reach behind the wagon seat.
Macie watched all this busyness and smiled sadly. She wished with all her heart that it was her parents and brother saying good-bye to them with such care. At the same time, she lifted up a prayer of thanksgiving that she had been welcomed into a new family who seemed almost as loving as her own had been.
She accepted her mother-in-law’s hug tearfully. Memories of her own mother were still so fresh and now newly painful. Macie squeezed Judy and admitted inwardly that her visit back to the homestead might have been a mistake. Well, that was neither here nor there, she told herself firmly. The present needed her attention, not her past.
“Good-bye!” called Judy as the young couple took their seats in the wagon. “Have a good time!”
Len, though, merely lifted a hand stoically and nodded his farewell.
Somewhere in the middle, Harris waved and said, “See you soon.”
Blake perched one foot on the buckboard, snapped the reins, and gave an enthusiastic wave in return. The wagon lurched forward and Macie gripped the side of the seat before calling her own good-byes.
And then they were off.
“I can’t believe we’re actually on our way,” Blake chuckled happily.
Macie noted wryly that her husband had perked up since breakfast. She eyed him on the seat next to her, remembering what it had felt like to be held in his arms. Yesterday, she’d been too distraught to register his touch at the homestead. But when he’d held her on the threshold of their own cabin, her heart had done funny things. And now that they were sitting so close on the wagon seat, it was all she could think about.
It was strange to be married to a man she hardly knew, Macie reflected as they rumbled along. She couldn’t come out and ask him what his thoughts were about that hug; they weren’t close enough for that sort of thing. Had he merely been comforting her as a friend might do? Or in a brotherly way? Or had Blake’s skin tingled where it had touched hers, too?
She was all too aware that theirs might never be more than a marriage of convenience, no matter what her heart felt. Suddenly, the bright sky and chirping birds seemed harsh rather than comforting. Macie saw clearly, for the first time, that she might very well end up in love with Blake while he felt nothing but friendly affection for her. She bit her lower lip and told herself firmly not to allow the emotions that thought created to take control.
***
Blake whistled cheerfully. Finally, they were on their way! He hadn’t planned on being saddled with his wife on his adventure, that was true enough, but Macie seemed to be a good sport. Surely, this was only the first of many adventures Blake would enjoy in the years to come. He might have to bring his wife along on this trip, but in the future, he’d be on his own, he vowed.
His mind wandered back to his grandfather’s letter. Blake had poured over it so many times that he had it memorized, right down to the crease in the corner and the splatters of ink his grandfather had left in his haste.
Dear Blake,
Here is the first stop on my final treasure hunt:
Go to the Red Hills Canyon east of Mills Ridge. Follow the river south to the double arches. The next clue is hidden in the sheep cave.
Good luck, my boy! May this will lead you to the greatest treasure I ever found.
Your loving grandfather,
Ewell Bradfield
It was fairly straightforward, Blake figured. Granddad’s treasure hunts had never been about deciphering cryptic messages like they usually were in novels. Rather, they were all about leading his grandson to places he might not venture on his own. Blake glanced over at Macie, suddenly wondering what she expected from this treasure hunt. She’d read the letter, of course, but perhaps she might be disappointed if Blake didn’t explain what was likely to come.
“I feel I should tell you a bit about Granddad’s treasure hunts,” Blake said, breaking into the silence.
Macie blinked as though her thoughts had wandered far. She nodded and looked at him with an expectant smile.
“Granddad would leave me clues whenever he took off on another of his adventures. I suppose it was his way of distracting me from his leaving,” Blake explained. “He might send me to a particularly fine spot for finding arrowheads or up a tree on a hill that gave me a view for miles around. The treasures at the end were never anything valuable. It was the journey that was the real prize.”
“I like that,” Macie said. Her head was cocked thoughtfully. “I think that’s a fine metaphor for life. It’s the journey that is the adventure, not the destination.”
Blake shrugged, not particularly interested in philosophical conversations this morning. “I just wanted you to be ready for that. I don’t want you to be disappointed if we get to the end of the trail and find a chest filled with Granddad’s travel notebooks or some such.”
“Thank you for telling me. I’ll just enjoy the sights and getting to know my husband better.” Macie smiled warmly at him.
Blake’s returning smile was wooden and he gladly let the silence lapse. After the intimacy of the previous day, he was eager to maintain the space between them, both literally and metaphorically.
In fact, they spoke little as the day passed. They commented on the heat, the scenery, this house or that bird. They debated when to stop to enjoy the lunch Judy had packed. But beyond that, Blake was reluctant to open up and allow his wife further access to his inner self and Macie seemed wrapped up in her own thoughts.
They arrived in Mills Ridge by mid afternoon. It was a sleepy little town, though it had a fine Main Street that bore testimony to civic pride. Blake stopped at the general store and asked if there was a hotel or rooming house where they might stay the night. If he’d been on his own, he would have continued on to the canyon and camped out under the stars. But with his wife in tow, he was eager to take advantage of any available comforts for Macie’s sake.
The Scars of a Pure Heart Page 11