“Sure, that’s fine, see you then Robbie.”
Ugh, he called me Robbie, he always called me Robbie - I hated it, he said it was funny because Bobby and Robbie rhymed.
OK, better get to work. I take a deep breath - push all that to the back of my mind and stand up. I make my way inside and as soon as I get into the corridor an arm grabs me. Its Jack.
“You OK?” he asks
“Yeah, I'm OK Jack.”
“You don't look it, is something going on?”
I shake my head. “Nothing you need to know about, don't worry about it.”
He grunts then runs his fingers through his hair. “If there’s something wrong, something I can help with, I want to know. I know we said Spain was a one-off but that doesn't mean that I can’t still care when somethings wrong, does it?”
I smile, he’s being sweet - but I can't get into this with him.
“It's OK, nothing I can't handle - but thank you.”
I leave to walk to my office. He walks towards the dressing room - presumably to suit up for a test drive. I want to watch but I know it will just get me wanting him again. Seeing him ride is like watching all my fantasies come true all wrapped in leather.
“Danish!” he says, and I turn around.
“Yeah?”
He steps closer to me. “What would you say if I said that maybe I didn't want Spain to be a one-off? That maybe I want to carry on whatever the fuck this is we were doing.”
I'm taken aback, I never thought he would say that. From everything I’ve heard about him, he’s most definitely not the going back for seconds type of guy.
I like him I do, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm a mother, and I have to put Eli first in everything I do. This man isn't good for me. He would only let me down. Christ, it looks like it's killing him saying the words. That’s not even to mention what my dad would do if he found out.
“I think that I would say that it's not a good idea. I think deep down you know that too.” I give him a sad smile and walk away, knowing he’s stood there in silence, watching me.
Chapter 16
Jack
I walk along the main street towards the pub. I need a fucking drink and I need some female attention to take my mind off her. What is it with her that I can't get her out of my mind? She’s under my skin. I try to think about all the bad points she has. Flaws. The problem is she doesn't fucking have any. The way she looks is just divine, the way she acts, her smile - everything about her is just perfect - I’ve never been one to sell myself short, I know I'm good looking, Christ why not be honest about it, I didn't get a say in it I was born this way. I can generally get anyone I want, but I want her. She’s simply amazing.
I glance at the Costa across the road and then double take. It can’t be. I look harder and yes, she’s there, Robyn - at the counter, buying a drink. My spirits lift straight away - even though I know they shouldn't. My night is looking up, I can go and join her for a coffee. I go to cross the road and stop in my tracks. What the fuck? She’s with someone . . . a guy. You have got to be fucking kidding me, a couple of days ago she was all over me like a rash - couldn't get enough - acting like I was the only guy on the planet that had a dick, now she’s moved on already and what, got a date or something? No, just no - that is not OK. I feel gutted. Why do I care? But I do. It's dark in there, I try and make out the guy, but I can't. How has she even had time to meet someone else? But then I dismiss that stupid thought, look at her - I hit on her in the supermarket so she probably gets guys hitting on her everywhere she goes.
Well, fuck this. If that’s how we're going to play it, I need to go and get laid. Get her out of my system like she seems to easily have done.
*****
I walk into the track cafe and go to buy Robyn and me a coffee, then I remember. The fucking date. No way, she can buy her own coffee today - she can afford it. I get mine and then go and see Denny for our morning chat. He’ll be in by now. It's just gone nine, Robyn will be appearing soon, and I can't be arsed seeing her.
I find him in the pit going over some paperwork. The feeling of the pit never fails to get to me. The excitement makes me just want to get on a bike and go for it. It's quiet now, it's early.
“Dude.” I get Denny's attention.
“Hey man, how you doing?”
I shrug. “OK. What time did you leave the pub last night?”
“Not a late one, around eleven. What happened to you? Did you go home with that barmaid, she was all over you?”
I shake my head. “Nah, I wasn't in the mood, I went home around half nine.”
He frowns “What the fuck? The barmaid was all over you - a sure thing - and you went home on your own?”
“Drop it Den.”
“I know it's her.”
“Did I just say drop it?”
“Man forget about her, is this a case of wanting what you can't have? Because you've never come across that before have you? Been told that there’s someone you can’t have? You've always just been given the green light.”
Do I tell him? That I can't get her out of my mind? Is that what it is because I’ve been warned off her?
“Fuck I don't know. I just know I can't get her out of my fucking head. She’s worked some sort of magic on me and cursed me or some shit.”
“That’s women for you. I’ve never seen you screwed up over a woman before - it’s quite refreshing.”
I frown “Instead of fucking enjoying it, maybe you could help me out? With advice or some shit.”
“Dude, let's say it’s a perfect world. Let's say she’s as into you as you are her - which, by the way, I think is true. But let's say her dad is not who he is and you two could go out. Would you still be interested? She has a kid Jack. You saying you want to take that on?”
“You would - it wouldn't bother you at all.”
“Yeah, but you're not me, are you?”
I shake my head. “I don't know, I mean I'm not marrying her - I just wanna see her. But the kid, he’s the coolest, I do like it when I'm around him and he thinks I'm some god or something, I'm his hero - so obviously he’s a smart kid.”
Denny rolls his eyes. “Obviously.”
He thinks for a moment and says, “Her dad could cause real problems for us, you know that right?”
I nod. “I know, I wish she wasn't the rich kid of some asshole that has my balls in his hands. Jesus, I don't know. She’s fucking me up. She’s amazing though right?” I smile.
He nods. “She’s gorgeous, sweet and way too nice for you.”
I snort “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“You know how you are with women. You use them for your purpose and then you're done. She’s not had any experience with men. Her life has been all about raising the kid. If she falls for you and the kid falls for you and then you're done, what then? You'll hurt her, you'll hurt both of them.”
I sigh, I know what he’s telling me is right, but I can't stay away. I don't feel like I’ll be done anytime soon.
“I know Den.”
He looks behind me, “Speak of the devil.”
I turn around and she’s stood there - looking hot as usual - those trousers fit her way too snugly, showing her gorgeous heart-shaped arse, on view for everyone to see. Her hair tied up in a high ponytail as usual and a fitted white t-shirt. That’s it, no dazzling outfit required. Just her.
Her green eyes look at me, “Talking about me, were you?”
I suddenly remember that date - that fucking date. I'm mad at her - how can she move on so quickly? “If I was, it wouldn't have been anything nice.”
She rears back as though I struck her - of course to her we’re on good terms. She doesn't know that I saw her last night.
“Thanks Jack. Take it you're in a piss poor mood today?”
“You could say that - rough night. How was your night?” I narrow my eyes at her, waiting for her response.
“It was fine. Why do you ask?”
�
�Do anything special?”
She stares at me, probably wondering why I'm acting like a prick. She doesn't even answer she just looks at Denny and hands him some paperwork. “Those are the figures you asked for, the prices last month for the parts you ordered.”
Denny looks at her and then glances at me. After our conversation - the one where I admitted I liked her - he’s probably wondering why I'm being a dick.
“Thanks sweetheart.” He says to her and she turns and leaves.
I take a swig of my coffee waiting for him to say something. He’s silent. Waiting for me. I turn to him “What?”
He shakes his head. “You're an arsehole you know that?”
I shrug “I'm not the one that was out on a date with someone else last night, am I?”
His eyes widen “So that’s what’s wrong with you. Good, pure, old fashioned jealousy.”
“Fuck off, I'm not jealous, I just can't believe after being with me last week she’d go out on a date so quickly.”
He quirks an eyebrow “Maybe she’s learned a couple of lessons off you.”
I shake my head and leave to follow her - it's about time we had a word.
I find her in what she’s adopted as her office she shares with Sophie, but Sophie isn't there, it's just her.
I walk in and shut the door before she realises I’ve walked in.
“What do you want?”
“Could you not even wait a couple of weeks before moving on?”
She shakes her head as though not understanding what I'm saying
“I saw you. Last night. I thought better of you. What? Now I’ve shown you the ropes - how to have sex like it should be done - you thought you'd spread your experience far and wide? Along with your legs.”
I know I’m being an absolute arsehole, but I just can't help myself.
She gasps.
OK, that was bad. I need to calm down. I feel like I want to beat someone to a pulp. Preferably the dick she was out with last night.
“Get out.”
I step towards her and steps back, her back to the desk. Rookie move Robyn, I have her right where I want her.
“No.”
“You are being so horrible. How could you think I would go on a date after only being with you a few days ago?”
I narrow my eyes at her. “I fucking saw you!” I'm standing close to her now, totally invading her personal space. The flush in her cheeks indicating one of two things - she’s mad or turned on - or maybe both.
“You saw me having a coffee with a guy.”
“Who was he?”
“What’s it to you, Jack? It's none of your business.”
“I'm making it my business.” My hands move of their own accord, sliding up behind her neck as I lower my mouth down onto hers. Fuck . . . her taste - it's intoxicating. One little taste and it just makes you want more and more. I flick my tongue at her lips and she gasps and opens her mouth. I take the opportunity given to me and slide my tongue in. Delving into her mouth as though it’s the first time. I feel her hands slide around my waist and I know I’ve got her attention. She moans as she leans into me and starts kissing me back properly. This girl can kiss. The feel of her hand sliding under my t-shirt causes me to growl and I press myself into her.
“Oh . . . oh sorry!”
I break off from the kiss to see Sophie walking in. Shit. Bad timing. I'm breathing heavily, trying to control myself and stop my dick from getting hard - something I have to do quite a lot around Robyn.
I look down at Robyn - she looks like a deer caught in someone’s headlights. So what, its only Sophie that’s caught us, not her dad.
Robyn speaks “God Sophie, sorry . . . I don't know what came over me.”
I can't resist. “What? It didn't get that far!”
Sophie knowing me all too well rolls her eyes. “Funny Jack. Now get out so I can talk to Robyn about what I’ve just witnessed.”
“All right I'm going, I'm going.”
I go back to the pit, pissed off that I haven't got any further about who she was out with last night.
Chapter 17
Robyn
Sophie gives me a wide-eyed look as Jack leaves the room. What am I doing? He just insulted me, told me I was being easy, and I ended up kissing him as though my life depended on it. How exactly did that happen? I hate him right now. He said some horrible things. Why can’t he just stay out of my way? The thing is, I’ve seen the sweet side of him - the one he prefers to keep hidden. The way he’s been with me, that first meeting before he knew who I was. He was so nice to me that night. He comes across as a wolf, and maybe he’s a wolf most of the time, but there is a sheep in there too - I’ve seen it.
I shake my head at her. “Don’t . . . just don’t ask.”
“You can't expect me not to ask. God that was hot, if I’d have been any later what exactly could I have walked in on? And what if it wasn't me - what if it was your dad?”
I shiver just thinking about it. Any normal dad wouldn't like walking in to see his daughter wrapped around a bad boy - but my dad? Well, he takes overprotectiveness and interfering to a whole new level!
“Don’t even joke about that Sophie. It was a one-off - he has me that I don't know what I'm doing.”
“Don't all men we like have us like that?”
“I don't like him - I can’t. It's not an option. If someone was to create a person that was the worst possible for Elijah and me, they would give me Jack Cutler. He’s a no go. If I was looking, which I'm not, I wouldn't look in his direction.”
She doesn't believe a word of it, it's written all over her face. “I think you're in denial honey. You're as into him as he is into you. I’ve never seen Jack like this with a girl ever. He is normally done straight away and they're chasing him, thinking they'll be the one that gets in there, that they can change him. They never do. But with you, he’s different, he goes softer when he’s near you, I think you could have him wrapped around your little finger if you wanted to.”
She has no idea. He has just been so mean to me. We’re done - if we were ever anything - which we weren't.
“I don't want him to wrap around any part of me.” Come on Robyn, you know that’s not true. “Come on, let’s get to work.”
I sit down and try to make sense of all the numbers swimming around.
An hour later I'm still no further on, my head is swimming. I think about Bobby last night. I just don't know what to make of the whole thing - he seems like he’s changed. He said that he feels the worst for not being in Eli’s life and wants to make up for it now - wants to meet him, be in his life. I now know that Bobby went in the RAF, which surprised me, he’d never even mentioned that to me. He came out a year ago with a leg injury. He said that it took seeing me again to jolt him into action.
He seemed so different from the Bobby I remembered. Maybe I’d built him into this monster in my head - to make it easier to deal with the fact that he didn't want to know the most amazing kid in the world. It doesn’t matter how nice he comes across now though, does it? He abandoned me six years ago when I wasn't asking for anything from him other than being a dad. He couldn't be that person he said. Well really? Because I was over the moon I was pregnant and had nobody and nowhere to go, but you know what? I got on with it. What a coward.
So this is where I'm at. Swinging in the favour of getting to know him, maybe eventually introducing him to Elijah when I know him a little better, and then just pure anger because for four years Elijah hasn’t even known he exists - when he had a way to contact me.
He has a fiancé - they're due to get married next year. He’s told her all about Elijah and she is more than happy to include him in their life. The whole idea of it makes me feel sick. So let's say down the line in a couple of years, Bobby is going for ‘dad of the year’ award - his fiancé but now wife is perfect and they have a perfect little family life when he goes to visit them, but then he comes back to me, just me, alone. I just hate that that’s how it could be. Bu
t unlike him, I will put Elijah first - as any decent parent would. And the fact that he could have that? Instead of just me - well I need to at least keep my mind open. I’ll see what dad comes back with, if he comes up clean then I’ll go round to his place to meet his fiancé as he asked. I’ve left it that I’ll be in touch.
Then there’s Jack, he hurt me today - how could he be so mean to me and how the hell could he think I would go on a date so soon? Not that it's even any of his business if I did go on a date. We weren't seeing each other. God, it makes me so mad to think about him, but then kinda makes me ache inside when I think of last week, and how we gelled, how we got on, both in bed and out of it. He was great. But he has this side to him, one that can hurt. I hate that my body responded to him like it did. I'm getting zero work done today. Sophie went out earlier, she had an appointment. I check the time how can it only be twelve-thirty? He'll be riding now - a little sneaky peek won't hurt.
I arrive at the track and sit in the pit watching the screens - he’s out on his bike looking magnificent.
I turn to Jock “How’s it going today?”
“Hey sweetheart. Its good - bikes running smooth, Jacks not in the best mood, but we’re all ignoring him. How are you? Recovered from Spain yet?”
I laugh “Just about. Although I think I’ll need another week of early nights before I'm fully back to normal.”
“Yeah it was good, we always have a good time there. Didn't see Jack for most of it though.”
I smile knowing what he’s getting at. “Yeah, whys that?”
He shrugs “Maybe he’s got good taste for once.”
OK, how sweet is jock.
Jack pulls up and comes to a stop in the pit. Denny and Harry go over to him why he talks about his bike. I get up to leave before he sees me but as I'm leaving, I hear him shout “Danish!”
Rider Forbidden: An Enemies to Lovers Romance (Badger's Mount Book 1) Page 13