by Laney Kay
What they didn’t agree on was college football. He was a diehard Longhorn and she loved her Georgia Bulldogs, so they got into a slight tiff about which school had a tougher conference. After a heated debate, they agreed to disagree, so they sat there and sipped their coffee.
Bella smiled. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing you live in Texas and I live here. We’d have a real problem come football season.”
Jack figured that was as good an opening as any to let her know his future plans. He took a deep breath. “Well, we might better talk about how we want to manage this before it becomes an issue. By the time football season rolls around, it looks like I’ll be back in Atlanta for good, all dressed up in my burnt orange, baby. Hook ‘em horns.” He flashed the “hook ‘em horns” symbol with his right hand and took a quick sip of coffee, his eyes never leaving her face.
It took her a minute. Suddenly, the realization hit her. “Wait. What?” Bella put her coffee carefully back on the table and looked at him. “You’re moving to Atlanta?”
He nodded and put down his cup, too. “Yeah, I got a job. Surprise!”
He didn’t like the look on her face. She wasn’t smiling and she was starting to look pale and pissed. He slowly reached across the table and grabbed both of her hands in his and squeezed. She looked like she was going to hyperventilate. Or maybe punch him. He said, in a soothing voice, “Hey, Bella, this is no big deal.”
She snorted. “Really? No big deal? If it wasn’t a big deal, why didn’t you tell me you were thinking of moving back? Obviously this wasn’t a sudden decision. You weren’t suddenly hired today out of nowhere.”
Jack winced, but he wasn’t going to lie. “No. You’re right. I’ve been thinking about moving back before we reconnected.”
Bella’s eyes narrowed. She pulled her hands free from his and crossed her arms across her chest. “So more than a year. And in all the times we’ve talked, in all of those conversations we’ve had, this is the first time you’ve ever bothered to mention it?”
“Well, there were no specific plans or timetables, and then this amazing job opportunity came up, so it all started to get a little more real. I figured if I got the job, we could sort everything out then.” Bella still looked pissed, so he tried to explain his thinking. “Look, Bella, I hadn’t said anything to you because nothing was definite until this morning when they officially offered me the job.”
“So, if you didn’t have a job yet, why were you planning on moving back?”
“You know my mom fell and broke her leg last year, and my dad’s starting to have some issues, so I figured it was time I came home so my sister wasn’t having to handle everything by herself. Mom’s much better now, but let’s face it, they’re not getting younger. Also, I’m tired of private practice and want to get back into hospital medicine. I’d told my partners that I wanted out last year, so we’ve been interviewing new doctors for several months and they’ve agreed to buy me out.” He smiled hopefully. “So, long story short, I’ll be here in a month. I hope you think this is good news.”
Bella was shocked. She really didn’t know what she thought, and took a deep breath. She enjoyed Jack’s company and was thrilled to find that their chemistry was just as potent in person as it was long-distance, but now he was going to live here. Did that mean he wanted a relationship? She had finally gotten used to the idea of a long distance, friends-with-benefits situation, but a real relationship scared her to death. It had taken her years to make a new life after her husband died and she swore she’d never open herself to that kind of heartbreak again. She sat there staring into space, her mind racing.
Their server came by to top off their coffee and it brought Bella’s attention back to Jack. She uncrossed her arms and splashed cream in her coffee. She met Jack’s gaze, pasted a big, too bright smile on her face as she finished doctoring her coffee and took a sip. “So, tell me about the job. Is it something you’re really interested in?”
He settled back in his seat and grinned. “I’m thrilled about the whole thing. You’re now looking at the Executive Director of the new Center for Prosthetics and Rehabilitation, a partnership between Georgia University and the Atlanta VA Hospital.”
Bella smiled, a real smile this time. “Congratulations, Jack. It sounds exciting. And fancy. So tell me the details. Does the program already exist?”
He shook his head. “Not yet. At least, not in this form. Our goal is to design a program that would allow someone who’d lost a limb to go to one place for everything from surgical followup to customized prosthetics and rehab. Now, patients usually have a surgeon, and then a separate prosthetist, and our work with veterans at the VA hospitals have shown that a more integrative approach is more successful.” He took a sip of coffee. “It also allows us to do studies and research on designs for new prosthetics, and the patients would be both military personnel and civilians.”
Bella smiled at his enthusiasm. “Jack, that sounds like an amazing opportunity. So, do you have a facility already, or are they going to build you something?”
“Right now, we’re taking over the existing rehab center at Georgia University plus a smaller building next to it, and we’ll be working some at the VA hospital. They’ve agreed to do some renovations and they’re putting in some new computers and equipment, but within the next two years Georgia University will break ground on a new, state of the art facility.” He grinned at her. “They’re letting me organize the department however I want and we’ve got funding for several new doctors and prosthetists. I’ve even got plans to hire a friend of mine who is a kinesiologist and biomedical engineer who worked with Olympians on gait analysis. He and I have been working on a design for a prosthetic ankle that will allow an almost perfectly normal gait, but without a huge cost. It could be a game changer for people with lower leg amputations.” He took another sip of coffee. “I’m really excited about it. Within two or three years, I want this place to be the place to come if you lose a limb.”
“That sounds great. So when will these other doctors join your group?”
He shrugged. “Probably not until late fall. We need to get everything in place, the computers we already have need to be up and running, and I need enough offices for all my docs and lab people. The next few months are going to be crazy. My goal is to be completely functional and ready to roll by January first.”
Bella took a deep breath and seemed to relax a little. She sipped her coffee as she thought. Finally, she looked at him. “So I guess you’ll be really busy until after the first of the year?”
“Not too busy for you, if that’s what you’re asking.”
She looked guilty as she stared down at the table, so Jack figured that’s exactly what she was hoping. He put down his coffee, took hers and put it aside and gently picked up her hand. When she finally looked at him, he smiled. “Bella, this is no different from what we talked about. The only difference is that it’ll be local instead of long distance, so it’s less complicated. No big deal.”
She pulled her hand back and smiled sadly at him. “Jack, I’m sorry, but it’s a huge deal to me. This has gone from an occasional, fun, flirty long-distance friends-with-benefits arrangement to you living here and wanting to have a serious relationship. And I’m sorry, but that’s not something I’m interested in.” She turned and picked up her purse. She stood up, pulled out some cash and put it in the middle of the table and then turned to him. “I need to get back to the hotel and get my stuff. I just remembered I have some things I need to get done before Monday so I probably should get home. I can grab an Uber if you want to stay a while.”
He slid out of the booth and stood up. He grabbed her cash and stuck it in her open purse and then opened his wallet and threw a couple of twenties on the table. His jaw was clenched and he stared at her. “No, I’ll take you back to the hotel.” He jammed one hand in his pocket and motioned for her to go ahead of him with the other. “But we need to have a talk, and then if you still want to go, I won’t give you any
shit about it.” When she looked like she was going to argue, Jack interrupted. “We were supposed to have the whole weekend, and all I’m asking is for a little more time. I think you owe me that much.”
“Okay.” Bella wasn’t going to argue. She started out to his rental car and he followed her out. He unlocked and opened her door and shut it gently once she was seated. As he walked around the car, he tried to get control of his emotions. He knew Bella would be surprised, and maybe even a little freaked out, when he told her he was moving here, but he had no idea that she would panic to the extent she’d want to stop seeing him completely. He opened the door, got in and started the car and headed back toward the hotel.
Bella stared silently out the side window the entire ride. When they reached the hotel, he pulled up to the valet station and he and Bella got out of the car and went inside to the elevator without a word. When they reached the room, he opened the door and they both went inside. She immediately sat in a chair by the door in the living room part of the suite, crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly. “So? What do you want to talk about?”
He leaned his butt against the desk, crossed his feet, and braced his hands next to his hips. Outwardly, he looked calm, but Bella could see his knuckles were white where he gripped the edge of the desk. She felt terrible that she’d upset him, but his moving here was a huge problem for her and she had no idea how to handle it.
He finally spoke. “So you don’t want us to see each other at all, Bella?”
She shook her head and her eyes filled with tears. “No, Jack, I hate the idea of not seeing you. But I’m sorry, I just can’t do it again.” She grabbed a tissue off the desk and blotted her eyes.
His voice was quiet. “Do what again?”
“I can’t be involved in a relationship again.”
He snorted. “Bella, I hate to break it to you, but it’s too late. You’re already in a relationship. With me.” When she shook her head, he continued. “Yes, you are. For over a year, we’ve talked every day, we’ve texted, we talk about everything…”
“Not everything,” she interrupted. “Let’s not forget the one huge thing you left out. ‘Oh, Bella, by the way, I’m planning on moving back to Atlanta’. That would’ve been a good thing to talk about.”
“Why? So you could break it off with me sooner? I knew you were hesitant to get involved with me in anything other than a friendship capacity, and that was fine because we hadn’t seen each other in person. If the chemistry wasn’t there, we could stay great friends, no harm, no foul. But, the chemistry is off the charts. Then you find out I’m moving here and it scares you so badly you decide to end everything. What the hell, Bella?” He grabbed each arm of the chair so she was penned in, and leaned over her until she had no place to look but directly in his eyes. “Why won’t you even consider getting involved with me?”
She looked at him without flinching. “Jack, I’m sorry, but I can’t do it again. When my husband, Max, died, I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to recover from it. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hide out in the bed, or drink myself into oblivion, or anything like that. I got up, I went to work, I saw my friends, but, for a long time, I was going through the motions. His death gutted me. It took me years to find a new normal where I could experience joy again. I can’t go through something like that again. I don’t think I have the ability to open myself up to another person like that a second time because, if something happened, I don’t know if I could find my way back again.”
He tried to be reasonable. “Bella, you’re getting ahead of yourself. I’m saying, let’s go slow. I’ve got no problem with the whole friends-with-benefits deal. The only difference is that we’d be doing it locally instead of long-distance. It’s the exact same thing as before, except we don’t have to work out the travel. It’s the perfect situation.”
“It’s not the same thing, Jack.” She shook her head as tears spilled onto her cheeks. “You’re right about our chemistry. It is off the charts, and if we’re both here in town, you know as well as I do that we’re going to end up in a real relationship, and I’m just not willing to go there.” She stood up and he backed up to give her room to move. She walked past him into the bedroom and reappeared with her bag in her hand. “Jack, I’m so sorry. I’m going to miss you, but I think this is for the best.”
She went to step past him, but he caught her arm and pulled her back around. He kissed her and hugged her tightly, which made her start to cry harder. “Bella, I’ll let you go for now, but I want you to think about something. You’re a smart woman, and you know that what you’re doing is letting fear rule your life. You have a chance at something real with someone who is crazy about you, and you’re willing to throw it away because you’re afraid of the possibility of being hurt sometime in the future. I think you’re smarter than that, and I think you’re braver than that. When you’re ready to give us a chance, you know where to find me.” He gave her one final squeeze, kissed her forehead, walked past her into the bathroom and closed the door.
He heard the door to the suite close and he ran the water in the sink and splashed it on his face. He reached blindly for a towel, and as he blotted the water from his eyes, he tried to calm down but he was furious. He was angry and frustrated, his stomach was in knots, and he felt like he needed to do something to blow off some steam.
He decided to go for a run. He went to his suitcase, pulled on his shorts, shirt, and running shoes and headed downstairs. As he passed the front desk, he asked if he could change rooms, but they were full for the weekend and couldn’t move him, so he asked them to please get housekeeping upstairs to change the sheets and towels as soon as possible. By the time he finished his run, he didn’t want any reminders of their time together. He didn’t want to smell her perfume in his bed, or her lotion on the towels. He walked outside and started to stretch. He hoped the run would help him figure out how to fix his life.
He put in his earbuds, turned up his music, and started off across the park. He usually did some of his best thinking while he ran, and he hoped that maybe he could figure out a way to convince Bella to come to her senses and give them a chance. As he ran, his stomach started to feel better and, by the time he got back, he had a plan. He figured that Bella just needed a little time to realize that what they had could be something special and she should give them a chance. He’d leave her alone for the next month to give her enough time to miss him, and then, if she still didn’t come around, he’d figure out something else. In the meantime, he decided that when he got back, he’d call the airlines and see if he could get a flight back this afternoon instead of tomorrow. No sense staying around and wallowing in misery. He may as well get back to Texas and start getting his stuff together for the move. The sooner he moved to Atlanta, the sooner he could start working on getting Bella back.
7
Four weeks and four days later, on a Wednesday evening, Jack moved into his tiny rental house near Georgia University. He’d sold his house fully furnished to one of his former business partners who’d just gotten divorced, and he’d driven out to Atlanta with his clothes, some artwork, and some personal stuff crammed in the back of his Explorer, and Melvin, his dachshund mix, riding shotgun. He’d stopped by his new office that morning to see how construction was progressing. He answered some phone calls and emails, and now he had the rest of the week and the entire weekend to relax, go to the grocery store, and get his house liveable.
He hadn’t heard a word from Bella. No calls, no texts, no nothing, for over a month. He’d been cyberstalking her on Facebook and had seen a couple of pictures online from fundraisers she’d attended, but she was smiling and looked like she didn’t have a care in the world, so he’d stopped looking. It was easier to convince himself that she missed him as much as he missed her when he wasn’t looking at pictures where she looked like she was having a great time without him. He wasn’t sure the best way to approach her now that the month was up, so he figured that maybe he’d casually text h
er next week, or call her to see if she’d like to grab lunch or come see his new house. He hoped that if they saw each other he’d have some idea of how she felt and could figure out the best way to wrangle his way back in her life.
The next morning, he decided to run some errands. He bought a bunch of stuff for the house, like cleaning supplies and a new vacuum, then went to a store to buy a new mattress. He’d rented a furnished house, but one night on the bed in his room convinced him that he needed to buy his own mattress to save his back from permanent damage. He ordered one and paid extra to have it delivered that afternoon, then went to Costco to buy sheets, towels, and some new cookware. By the time he was done with everything, he was starving. He decided to stop at Whole Foods to grab something already prepared and to stock up on a few staples for his pantry. He fixed a plate and ate it in their little area with the tables and then grabbed a buggy to do some shopping. He rounded the corner at the end of the first aisle when he ran into someone coming in the other direction. He looked up to apologize and found himself face to face with Bella. His apology died in his throat, and he stood there staring at her with his mouth open.
She stared right back and her eyes welled up as her face paled. A tiny blonde woman next to her looked between the two of them and, when it was obvious Bella wasn’t going to introduce them, stepped forward with her hand out. “Hey. I’m Bella’s friend, Daisy Mathis. And you are?”
Jack automatically took her hand and shook it, finally tearing his eyes away from Bella long enough to smile and answer her. “I’m Jack Burton. Nice to meet you, Daisy. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Daisy gasped as she realized who he was. “Holy shit, you’re Bella’s Jack?”
He shook his head and looked sad for a moment. “Used to be. Now, I guess I’m just Jack.” He smiled and looked at Bella. “Hey, Bella. How are you?”
She swallowed and tried to smile. When that didn’t work, she politely answered, “Fine, Jack. Are you here permanently, now?”