by Laney Powell
Which is what I’d give with her every time, all the time. I thought about our conversation right before I left. I wondered why she’d brought it up. Didn’t she realize that I’d been with her over the past month because I wanted to? Because I liked her? If it was just sex, I wouldn’t have lasted all month.
But thinking about sex with Taylor made me grin again. I still had the grin as I drove down the long driveway to the house at the ranch. When I came in, Freeze, Axel and Pris were watching a movie. They all looked up.
“There he is,” Axel said, a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Where you been, boy?” Freeze asked, a similar grin on his face.
“I’ve been out,” I said, grinning right back. “With Taylor Claiborne.”
“She’s Beezie’s sister, right?” Pris looked to me, and then her husband.
He nodded. Pris turned back to me. “And?”
“And that’s it,” I said. I walked through the main room toward my room.
“Don’t forget to write about it in your diary,” Axel called.
I heard Pris try to shush him as Freeze and Axel burst into laughter.
I closed my room door and let myself fall on the bed. I felt like I did after we did a job, after our target made it back and stayed alive. I couldn’t sit still. So I went and got a shower.
Taylor’s face as we made love was what I saw when I closed my eyes. The way she looked at me, the way her mouth fell open as I pounded into her, the way she demanded more. The word ‘more’ made me hard just remembering it. Jesus. How had I gotten so lucky?
What was amazing was that Taylor seemed to think she was lucky too. I’d never been anyone’s choice before. Sure, there were women who loved to go out with special ops guys. But that was me being wanted for what I was, not who I was. Taylor had taken me back to her place, and shared herself with me.
I couldn’t wait to do it again.
After my shower, I texted her. I had a great time tonight. Can’t wait to see you again. Tell me when and where.
Her response was almost immediate. So did I. You’re amazing. Let me see if tomorrow will work.
I’m there. Let me know. I set the phone down, not wanting to glom all over her. I had been right in that she needed space, and needed the time to make her choice, and do things in her own time.
But when my phone buzzed again, she’d texted back five heart emojis. Something inside of me shifted when I saw that. It was just a bunch of stupid emojis, but she felt safe enough to send it to me.
I sent her back X’s and Os. I couldn’t leave her hanging like that. I knew that she’d met me when she was in serious rebound territory from her piece of shit ex. I might have problems, but I didn’t understand drowning them in booze, or drugs. Taylor was more empathetic, but for me, empathy ended when you dragged other people into your shit. It’s why I hadn’t told her about Morrison. My shit was my own to carry, to deal with.
A warmth spread through me that had nothing to do with the scalding hot shower. I’d told her my own secrets, and she hadn’t blinked. Hadn’t walked away in disgust. So I’d need to keep my anger at her ex to myself. Well, within reason.
I fell asleep with the thought of Taylor naked and under me running through my mind.
The next morning, I was up before anyone else, even Freeze. Normally, breakfast was his thing, but I couldn’t sit still, so I started the eggs and bacon.
Freeze came out, scratching the back of his head. “You got coffee?”
“What kind of heathen do you think I am?”
“I don’t know. Air Force gets weird.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”
He poured himself a cup and then sat at the table. “So. Taylor Claiborne.”
“Yes?” I didn’t turn around.
“She seems like a nice girl.”
“She is,” I said, smiling at the backsplash.
“I like her family. Her mom, her sister and her husband are good people.”
“So is Taylor,” I said.
“You think this is a thing?”
I nodded, even though I wasn’t sure he could see me. “I do.”
“Well, good. Glad to see it.” He got up and refilled his cup. “How’s the grub coming along?” Freeze peered over my shoulder. “I need to eat before the coffee kicks in.”
The medic part of me wanted to contradict him, but I’d already learned that it wasn’t worth the time it took to argue. I turned and put all the food on plates, bringing them over the table. Pris and Axel came out yawning a bit later.
We’d been eating for about five minutes when there were steps on the stairs and Jensen and Carissa came in. Great, I thought. The gang’s all here. They lived in town, but Jensen came out every day to work. Carissa came out weekly to do the books. Today must be her day.
“I’ll make more,” I said, getting up from the table.
“You’re not cooking?” Jensen asked Freeze. “You feeling all right?”
Freeze shook his head. “I’m fine. Someone was up bright and early. He had a good evening last night, so I guess that spilled over into today.”
“Oh, yeah?” As I turned around, Jensen was eyeing me. Carissa had taken a seat next to Pris, but Jensen still stood. “You have a hot date last night?”
Axel and Freeze snickered, and Carissa and Jensen looked at me at the same time.
“You did?” Carissa asked. “With whom?”
“I bet her name starts with Taylor,” Axel said, a wicked grin on his face.
“The girl from the bakery?” Carissa looked to Pris for confirmation.
“Yes. Taylor Claiborne. She works at the bakery, and we’re dating.” I didn’t know what I expected, but the general applause from all the other people in the house wasn’t it. I smiled, feeling my face get warm.
“Ah, he’s blushing. Stop before you make him all tongue tied,” Freeze said between laughing.
I smiled, even as everyone teased me. It felt good to be teased. Not only that, I liked the people teasing me. For the first time since I’d left to join the Air Force, I felt like I was in a place where this could be a family. If everything kept on like it was.
A longing for my brothers swept over me. I hadn’t had that feeling in years. No matter what I decided, I needed to see them. I needed to try to reconnect. This was the best I’d felt in years. Even with all that had happened, I was glad to be where I was.
We finished breakfast, with Jensen and Carissa cleaning up, and everyone headed out to the barn. Cecil and Caleb came out, attracted by the people and cars, and I patted Caleb on the head. “Don’t try to mess with my girl again. Although I’m glad you did,” I said with a grin. If the birds hadn’t cornered her, who knows how long it would have taken for us to have a date?
The grin stayed on my face all morning. And all afternoon. Even as we had to be out late with the herd, and I knew I wouldn’t get to see her. I texted her after we made it back in and told her I’d try to get away tomorrow.
How did it go telling your family? I texted.
All right she texted back.
Just all right?
They don’t know you, so they are nervous.
Fair enough. When should I come to dinner?
How about Friday night? Taylor sent almost immediately.
Great. What should I bring?
Yourself, and flowers. She added a smiley emoji.
Got it. I’ll try to get away tomorrow.
I can’t wait to see you again, Taylor said.
That makes two of us. I ended that one with a kissing emoji. I remembered a class I’d taken about staying in touch with your family when you were deployed. The instructor told the class, which was a mix of ages, mostly men, that we should seriously make the effort to get good at texting because it was an instant way to connect with your loved ones, and helped with distance and long times away from each other. This back and forth with Taylor proved that the long ago instructor was right, even as half of my class had groaned.
Get some rest. You’ll need it, she texted back. And added a laughing and a winking emoji.
The teasing from Taylor didn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy. It made me hard and made me want to have her here with me right now. Jesus. Just the thought of her body was enough to send me into overdrive.
We said good night, and I lay in bed, thinking about her. And how nice it felt here on the ranch. How these people felt like home. When I’d come here, all I wanted was to make it through my medical leave, and get back to my team. Now I wasn’t so sure.
Taylor and I weren’t able to get together on Wednesday or Thursday. The herd was feeling feisty and needed a lot of extra time. We were moving them to another part of the ranch, and the young bulls were not just feisty, but a pain in the ass. I wasn’t as much help as I wanted to be, because I wasn’t as good on a horse. At least my ass wasn’t hurting twenty-four seven, so I took the positives where I could. It felt good to be working physically, to sweat and push myself.
Friday came around, and I felt some frustration at my not being able to see Taylor. I’d see her later tonight, even though it would be under the spotlight from her family. Freeze, after some ribbing, let me go back to the house a little early, and I showered and drove into town with enough time to bring a bouquet for Taylor’s mom, and one for Taylor herself. I almost bought a bottle of wine, but I caught myself in time. Taylor wasn’t a fan of drinking, and while I enjoyed a cold beer, I got it. I’d bet that her family was sensitive as well. Or not. I didn’t know. I’d get the lay of the land tonight.
When I pulled up to Taylor’s house, there were a couple of cars out front in addition to Taylor’s Suburban. I checked myself in the mirror, left the hat in the car, and squared my shoulders as I walked up to the porch. I felt like I was going into battle, and in way, I was.
All her family knew was that Taylor hooked up with guys that weren’t worthy of her. Now she’d told them that she was dating—if this were my daughter, I’d be concerned. There was a lot on the line tonight. But every time I got geared up and went out on a mission, there was a lot on the line. At the least, there was a life on the line. Tonight was no different. I had to show up and do my best. Our motto in the PJs was So that others may live.
I wanted Taylor to live. Granted, I wanted her to live with me, but more than that, I wanted her to move beyond all the shit in her past. Preferably with me. As part of us, making something together. With those thoughts in mind, I rang the bell.
A woman that looked like Taylor who had a little girl on her hip opened the door. “Raif?” she asked.
I nodded. “You must be Beezie.”
“I am. Come in,” she stood back, allowing me to come in. “This is Tatiana, my daughter.”
“It’s good to meet you both,” I said, smiling down at the little girl.
She ducked her head into her mother’s shoulder. I put my hand out after Beezie shut the door, and she took it. She had a firm grip and a direct look. “You’re a big guy,” she said.
“I am. Can’t be helped,” I replied.
Another woman came out, wiping her hands on a towel. “I’m Lana Claiborne, Taylor and Beezie’s mom,” she said, her hand out.
I shook it, and she had the same firm grip as her daughter. Both women stared at me openly, appraising me. I stood and let it happen. Then I felt an arm snake around my waist, and Taylor appeared beside me, leaning her head on my shoulder for a moment.
“You’re right on time,” she said, smiling up at me. “Can I take these?” She nodded at the flowers I held in the crook of my left arm.
“What? Oh, yeah, that would be great. The roses are for you,” I said as Taylor took them.
“Can you grab the vases?” Taylor called over her shoulder as she walked into the kitchen.
“Sure,” I said, smiling at her mom and sister. I hurried after Taylor, and she was standing at the sink, unwrapping the flowers.
“Thank you,” she said, leaning down and inhaling the scent of the roses. “I love roses. How did you know?”
“I didn’t. They reminded me of you.” The roses were a peachy pink, and I’d thought of her when I saw them.
“What a nice compliment. I love the color.” She snipped the ends and took the vase I handed her. “You look good enough to eat,” she whispered, leaning closer to me.
“Maybe later, pretty please?” I whispered back.
Her hair was down, and she smiled as she bent her head over the roses. But she glanced up at me, and I could see her cheeks were pink even as her lips curved into a knowing smile. “We’ll have to take a walk or something.”
“It’s a date,” I said.
We stood together, our shoulders touching, not speaking any further. It felt so good to be around her, and it was so fucking hot to be talking about sex in the middle of the family interrogation. Together, we carried in both the vases.
“Put them right in the middle of the table,” Lana said.
“Keeps them away from little hands,” Beezie added.
The front door opened, and a tall man came in. Tatiana saw him and lifted her hands to him. “Peanut!” he said, taking her and lifting her high. Tatiana swiped her hands long the ceiling, laughing as she did so. He let her drop down and cradled her to him. Then he saw me and took a step over, hand out. “Link Cunningham.”
“Raif Garzon. Good to meet you,” I said.
“You, too. Lana, what can I do?”
“Get the little miss ready for dinner. Everything else is done,” Lana said.
“Deal!” Link said, smiling at his daughter. “Let’s go wash up, Peanut!”
I could hear Tatiana talking to her father, her high voice clear even though I wasn’t sure what she was saying. Within moments, Lana, Beezie, and Taylor had dinner on the table. Chicken, green beans and mushrooms, and roasted potatoes. I offered to help, but was directed to sit and make myself at home.
Uh, huh. Or get ready for the interrogation. I kept my smile to myself. This would be fine. They were cautious, but they loved Taylor, and only wanted the best for her. When everyone sat down, and dinner was served, there were a few moments of silence, and then Beezie looked up.
“So how’d you end up here, Raif?”
I gave an abbreviated version of how I landed in Paulson. Link nodded. “That’s a tough break, man. How’s your leg now?”
“Well, I’m spending a lot of time on a horse getting yelled at by Freeze Buckley, so my backside is suffering more than my leg,” I said, to general laughter. I figured they all knew Freeze.
“Are you planning to go back?” Lana asked, eyeing me as she took a bite of green beans.
“I don’t know, honestly,” I said. “I’m on medical leave. I’m doing all my PT and not stressing anything. I’ll never be an active PJ again. There are other things I can do, but with all the training I’ve done, I don’t know if that’s what I want.”
“Makes sense,” Beezie said. “Where’s your family from?”
I told her about Geoff’s owning a ranch in Idaho, and Marco living in Arizona. My parents were living in Florida, enjoying life in a retirement community. I could see from the glances that Taylor’s family was sharing around the table that I was doing all right. Taylor, sitting next to me, squeezed my hand under the table. She wasn’t saying a lot, and I got that. She probably knew that her family needed to do their thing. It was smart—no sense fighting where you didn’t need to.
Talk turned to Broken Falls Ranch. “Are there really attack turkeys?” Beezie asked.
“You didn’t believe me?” Taylor asked indignantly.
“Sort of. Pris, that’s Axel’s wife, she says they have FOMO,” I said. “So they need to check out everything, and make sure that they are not, in fact, missing anything.”
“The turkeys have a fear of missing out?” Link asked in disbelief.
I shrugged. “That’s what Pris says, and she’s the turkey whisperer on the ranch, so who am I to say anything?”
Everyone laughed. Talk beca
me more general then, and I felt I’d passed some sort of hurdle. It felt good.
I helped to clean up after dinner, and as I came out of the kitchen, Taylor said, “Now that Raif has cleaned up, I’d like to go for a walk with him. Unless you all have any more questions?”
Beezie looked at her mom. Lana looked at Link. Link looked over to Beezie. At least Tatiana had fallen asleep on the couch. Then they all looked at me. “You’re allowed,” Beezie said.
Taylor rolled her eyes. “Thank you,” she said. “Come on, Raif, before there're more chores that magically appear.” She took my hand and pulled me out the front door. It was dark and there was a slight hum in the night as bugs and whatever else moved around after dark did their thing. It smelled sweet, and I turned Taylor to me to wrap my arms around her and just hold her.
“I’ve missed you,” I said, kissing the top of her head.
“I’ve missed you, too. You did great tonight.”
“I did? I couldn’t tell. They’re a tough bunch.”
“I can tell, and you did great,” Taylor said. “I’m pretty sure they liked you.”
“I hope so,” I said. “I wasn’t looking forward to the kind of interrogation a second dinner was going to bring.”
“Come on, let’s go for a walk while we can get away,” she said, pulling me off the porch and into the dark of the night.
Chapter Twelve
Taylor
I towed him along until we got to the sidewalk, and then I tucked myself close to Raif’s side. His hand had crept over to mine under the table a few times, but it was a gentle squeeze, nothing more. Totally innocent and a lot less than I wanted from him. I wanted to feel his hands on me again.
Which sure as hell wasn’t going to happen in front of my mom and sister. Not to mention Link. He looked mild-mannered, but he didn’t take insult to the women in his family well. And he considered me family.
“Where are we going at the speed of light?” Raif asked.
“We don’t have a lot of time,” I said. “They’ll be wondering if we’re gone too long. But I have a plan.”