‘Oh, so that’s what this is all about! A pissing contest.’
I stand dumbfounded for a few moments. ‘How so?’
‘You don’t give a damn about me. You don’t give a damn about, you just can’t stand being rejected. This undermines your belief that you are the best. Here is a man who is objectively better than you are, and you’ll do anything you can to try and best him. I don’t even come into it. It’s all you, you, you. An entirely autoerotic relationship.’
I point a finger at her. ‘I’m not sure I know what ‘autoerotic’ means, but I don’t think I like it.’
Sara shrugs her shoulders, disinterested. ‘Well, that just shows how far apart we are. So there’s no need at all for these bizarre scenes. I really don’t like you. And you don’t like me.’
This is too much! No one has ever challenged me like this before.
‘You’re just a sour harpy! Apparently by some divine miracle you had sex tonight, but the bitterness is so rooted in you that even a night of passion hasn’t sweetened you up.’
‘Have you ever thought that my bitterness is just caused by your company?’
‘Have you ever thought that it’s just because you’re a bitch?’
‘You can’t come into my house and insult me like that. Get out!’
‘No,’ I challenge.
‘Get out, I said!’
‘Make me.’
Her eyes flashing, she launches herself at me, ready to pummel me with her fists, but I hold her arms back, and she falls heavily against my chest. The pressure of her breasts against me makes me lose all sense of reason.
‘You’re just a bastard!’
‘Insult me again,’ I reply, wrapping my arms around her.
‘Arsehole!’
‘Spinster!’
‘Good for nothing!’
‘Nerd,’ I whisper, lifting her and bringing her level with my lips. Her arms grab my shoulders.
‘I hate you!’
‘I hate you too,’ I reply, closing her mouth with mine. The pent-up anger of us both explodes in a frenetic intertwining of tongues and limbs. Her legs twist around me and, supporting her by her full buttocks, back up to launch myself onto the unmade bed.
Her hair caresses my chin as my hands creep under her sweatshirt, uncovering the bare skin of her back. Moving downwards, I fill my hands again with the curves of her body. I never imagined that they could excite me to such a point. The fabric of her knickers is almost too much. Sliding my thumbs under the waistband, I begin to lower them. I feel her hesitate. She pulls back from my lips to look at me. Have I said before what wonderful eyes she has? And looking at her now, I can’t imagine anything more beautiful. Her neck, her tousled hair, her mouth, her tender body like butter.
‘What are you going to do?’ she asks, biting her lip and igniting an irresistible fire throughout my whole body.
‘Nothing you don’t want,’ I reassure her, turning her over on the bed and completing the work. She lies there, naked from the
waist down, and above bundled up in a garment bigger than she is. It thrills me to see the flashes of excitement in her eyes.
She tries to cover herself, but I don’t allow it.
Blocking her hands, I kneel at the foot of the bed and begin to trace a lazy trail with my tongue that descends from her navel downwards, further and further. She tries to close her legs, but I nibble her belly, making her shiver.
‘Trust me,’ I whisper against her skin, and I feel her tremble. The torture is almost unbearable.
I graze her inner thigh with small, delicate kisses and release her hands, which sink into my hair. I reach the centre of her pleasure. The delicate bud that quivers, as though it were waiting just for this. The best gift I have to give. After all, I can only do one thing, but I do it well.
My tongue knows how to tease, stimulate, make her tremble. Her moans ring in my ears and push me to continue. I want to make her come so hard she cries. We’re almost there, I know it well. I feel how she contracts, how she shakes under me. I’m intoxicated by the taste of her.
The apex arrives, as violent as the words we said. I feel her contracting and then expanding, arching, convulsing, crying out.
When the tremors of her body stop, I raise myself to the height of her face, with my usual arrogant smile.
‘I’d say you liked it. In fact, I’d say you’ve never had better.’
She catches her breath and gives me a wicked grin. ‘So far you’ve only showed me what you can do with your mouth.’
‘Don’t challenge me,’ I say, pulling the sweatshirt over her head and stripping her completely.
‘Hey, this isn’t fair. One of us is still too dressed,’ she says, and she has a point. I don’t waste time. While she unbuttons my shirt, I hurry to undo my trousers.
‘Were you always convinced that you were going seduce me?’
I shake my head. ‘I hadn’t counted on it. But I am always ready.’
‘You are very efficient, Mr. Pagani.’
‘Thank you, Dr. Doria.’
‘I think I like this game.’
‘Shut up and kiss me.’
She doesn’t even wait for me to finish talking. I feel her lips on mine, but only briefly. Her mouth moves down to my throat, and then up again to my ear lobe. I shed the last of my clothes, too impatient now to prolong the preliminaries. Holding on to her arms to avoid crushing her, I grab her leg and caress her hip. Then I enter her. I enter her and lose myself. I lose myself in her fire, her softness. I feel her surround me, wherever my skin extends. My heart bursts, my mind no longer connects.
What is this spell? With every thrust I feel like I leave a part of me inside her, without hope of return. Our flushed and sweaty skin stimulates and is stimulated, our sighs are lost in one another’s hair, in the folds of the pillows. I can no longer understand my body, am I unaware of time or space.
I only know that when I reach the peak of pleasure, I seem to have become a single body with her. Mind and heart, skin and breath, bones and blood. With one last push I shatter like a wave
that breaks on a rock. She is the rock on which I am has destroyed. And now what are we?
As our breathing becomes regular, I continue to caress her, slowly.
‘Damn!’ she finds the strength to comment.
‘Damn is right,’ I echo her, taking possession of her lips again. I can never have enough.
Oh god, I’m really fucked.
22
Sara
There are moments when the simplest and most obvious of things hit you like a train. This is one of those moments.
I have no idea what happened, or rather I know very well, but I still don’t know how we ended up having wild sex all of a sudden. Oh, the signals were all there. Idiot that I was, I didn’t see them. Or, if I’m honest, I didn’t want to see them. But the undeniable fact is that I am now lying on my bed, in disarray, trying to get my breath back.
‘I had heard that after twenty-five, a man’s sexual appetites began to fade.’
Teo stretches, satisfied. ‘My performance has never gone into decline. I think you’ll agree.’
I try to cover myself with a corner of my bedsheet, but his hand blocks me and starts to wander over my hips.
Being naked doesn’t seem to worry him at all. Although to be fair what does he have to worry about? His sculpted biceps? His marble abs, perhaps? Of course, he does have a remarkable body. Quite remarkable, to be precise.
‘Would you mind very much not staring at me?’
‘I’m not looking at you!’ I scoff, turning my head quickly away.
Teo laughs happily and approaches me again, biting my shoulder. I can’t hold a grudge, though – not after he took me to paradise.
‘Don’t you have a job?’ I tease him, offering him my neck, which he wastes no time in attacking.
‘Don’t you?’
His voice vibrates against my skin and makes me collapse in the middle. I find myself turned on my sid
e, with all of his body pressed against my back. It is a wonderful feeling. I abandon myself against him and savour the moment. I don’t know how long it will last. Not long, I suppose.
‘I… er… just couldn’t get up this morning. I called in sick.’
I feel him stiffen. ‘Too much activity tonight?’
What the…? ‘Are you jealous?’
I feel him hesitate. ‘And what if I am?’
Are you kidding me? There seems to be no other explanation. But he can’t be jealous. It would mean something… something I don’t know if I’m ready to face. Not now, at least.
‘Don’t talk nonsense, Teo,’ I say, turning and finding myself face to face with my seducer. ‘You really don’t have to pretend this is any more than what it is. We’re just having fun, no?’
His grip tightens on my shoulders. ‘Tell me. Did you sleep with him?’
‘With who?’
‘With your professor!’ he cries out, exasperated, and, damn it, I really don’t think he’s acting.
‘Would it change anything if I did?’
‘Not between you and me. I’d just…wring his neck, I don’t know.’
‘Please tell me you’re joking.’
I notice a hesitation, but it is just a moment. ‘I’m not joking. I really like you.’
The information spreads through my brain in half a second and then throughout my whole body, but I quickly build an ice barrier.
‘It can’t be.’
‘It’s true. I’m telling you, I like you,’ he insists, catching my mouth with his. I let him do it, abandon myself without hesitation. My lips are sore from kissing him, but I’m certainly not complaining. The kiss is deep, intense, like every time we’ve ever kissed. It fills my heart, my arms, my belly, upsets my thoughts and scatters all my good intentions to the wind. His lips and mine are two pieces of a puzzle. I don’t know how long it lasts, because as well as making me lose all my reason, he also makes me lose all sense of time, and when he releases me I need a few seconds to remember how to breathe.
‘Now do you believe that I like you?’
‘Explain it to me.’
‘I can’t explain it. You just don’t meet my usual standards.’
‘Not a clever thing to say while you’re lying in bed naked and helpless,’ I hiss, irritated.
‘I’m not trying to offend you, it’s just…’
‘… an objective observation?’
‘Exactly. And you must admit that it is unusual for someone like me to be with someone like you. ‘
‘Why, because you’re hot and I’m a pig?’
‘Because I’m a jerk and you’re amazing. But thanks for saying I’m hot,’ he adds, with a wink. He really catches me by surprise.
‘You’re trying to flatter me.’
‘Have I ever made a mystery of what I think?’
I think about it for a few seconds. ‘No. Actually, no you haven’t. ‘
‘Then you have to believe me. I thought you weren’t my type, to begin with, and it’s true. But it’s not the way I thought. You’re not my type because you’re smarter than I will ever be. You’re independent, confident, unbearable and a total, total ballbreaker.’
‘This is the worst declaration in the world, you do realise that? ‘
‘Do you expect boring platitudes from me?’
I roll my eyes. ‘Go on.’
‘You’re not my type, without a doubt. My type so far have been uncomplicated women, with a brain responding to two or three commands at most and without a shred of self-determination. I’ve never met anyone like you. And it was shocking. So you’re not my type, but I still like you. That’s all.’
I nod dumbly, trying to understand this strange speech. I see him quiver, impatient.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘When someone tells you things like that, you’re supposed to say something back.’
‘Where are we, in elementary school?’ I object, panicking. It’s one thing to have sex with someone, but quite another to start talking about feelings.
‘Don’t you like me?’
‘I think I’ve shown quite unequivocally that I appreciate your company.’
‘I didn’t ask if I’m good in bed. I already know that I am. That was the best sex of my life, because it was with you. Now please, tell me. Do you like me, or not? ‘
Getting the words out is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. ‘Yep. I like you. Happy? ‘
‘Because I’m good in bed, or is there something more?’
This is too much! ‘You ask to many questions, Teo. What do you want me to say?’
I suddenly feel uncomfortable and too naked. With a determined pull I grab the bedsheets and get up from the bed, covering as much of myself as I can.
‘Only the truth. Don’t make me take back what I said,’ Teo growls, imitating me and standing up.
Naked and irresistible, of course.
‘What can I say? You’re not my type either.’
‘I can imagine.’
I flounder, struggling to find the words. ‘To be honest… I’m usually attracted to mature men, with experience and culture. And you have none of this.’
‘Your declaration isn’t much better than mine.’
I shake my head. ‘But I feel light when I’m with you. I don’t have to hold back or prove anything to you. I can say anything, laugh at anything, and it doesn’t feel awkward. I would never have believed it, but I like you too.’
As I finish my speech, Teo approaches, forcing me to look up. It’s times like this when I hate being so short.
‘We’re terrible at talking about feelings,’ he observes with a half smile.
‘At least we have one thing in common,’ I reply touching the back of his hand with a finger. I hear him sigh. Another thing in common, really.
‘I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to the effect you have on me,’ he says seriously. Very seriously. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
‘Even though I have hair like a war zone and cellulite?’ I answer, trying to play it down.
His arm surrounds my waist and with his other hand he grabs a strip of sheet. In reaction I squeeze him even more tightly. This speech is getting too serious.
‘Do you think I care? Oh, sure, I see your flaws, but it’s like you’re immune. I always knew you were a witch, and now you’ve put a spell on me.’
‘That is far too sweet a sentence to have come from your mouth.’
‘Then close my mouth, why don’t you?’ He suggests slyly.
‘I wish I could, but I’m too short and I can’t reach.’
‘You just have to ask, little witch,’ he replies, lifting me to his height. Holding fast to his shoulders, I steal a quick kiss.
‘Is that it?’ he asks, with a playful pout.
‘I want to clarify something first. Nothing happened between me and the professor.’
Teo puts me down. I can’t quite interpret his expression. It’s difficult to tell if he is happy or not.
‘But you look a state… and the house looks like it’s been hit by a tornado. And then you didn’t come into class and neither has he…’ he trails off, confused.
‘Well… I’ll keep it short. I don’t like sushi.’
Teo looks surprised. ‘And he took you to eat sushi?’
I sit on the edge of the bed. I have to spit it out. ‘Yep. And it made me ever so slightly sick.’
‘I would have taken you to eat something better,’ he says, sitting down next to me.
I smile. ‘I know.’
‘And he gave you the shove just for that?’
‘I would say so. I threw up all over his shoes that must have cost God knows how much. He basically threw me out of the car.’
‘What a piece of…’
I nod. ‘I know. But what I wanted to say is… when he kissed me …’
Teo jumps to his feet. ‘He kissed you?’
I hold him by the arm. ‘Let me finish. When he kissed me… I couldn�
��t help comparing him to you.’
‘And…?’
‘And… I realised that there was no comparison.’
I can’t say anything more. I stand up too and drop the sheet. I see Teo’s eyes ignite, travelling the length of my body, but I remain standing, trying to conquer my embarrassment. I feel his hands take hold of my hips again and I kiss his chest, making him shiver. I have just enough time to look up before I find myself lifted into the air, held in his arms.
‘I’m not letting you get away,’ he promises
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ I assure him, grazing his neck with my tongue. Traveling along the lines of his muscles, I can do nothing but abandon myself to what I feel and throw all caution to the winds.
Teo doesn’t hesitate, and thrusts himself once more inside me, taking my breath away. I cling to him, lost and still a little frightened by all the things I am experiencing. Things I’ve never tried before. As I move, following his rhythm, every cell in my body awakens, craving his skilful lips, his big and tender hands, his breathing that burns and soothes. He is the fire, and the oasis in the desert.
Our moans intertwine and fly upwards, spreading into the corners of the room and back down again, like the echo of the passion that overwhelms us.
I feel him everywhere, as if he were an ocean surrounding me. I break and reform myself, I die and I come back to life. As I feel the jolts of my umpteenth orgasm, I bury a cry in his shoulder and arch myself to receive him. To keep him with me. To never let him go. I draw his cries around me like a blanket, absorbing into myself as I look into his eyes and feel myself for the first time to be truly free.
‘You… are incredible,’ he whispers into the hollow of my neck, while the last gasps rack his body.
I hold him close, aware as never before of one great truth that I can no longer keep silent.
‘You make me that way.’
23
Teo
I can’t believe it. We’re actually going to do this!
The studio is illuminated by hot, glaring lights, making me suffer in my impeccable grey suit. I’m pretty nervous, I have to admit. This will be the first time I’ve seen one of my projects come to life. We have postponed and rescheduled this day several times over, but now we’re finally ready for the pilot episode. The first project I’ve ever done by myself. Well, not really by myself. It’s been a challenging few days but Sara has helped me with the script, given me a hundred slaps and a billion kisses. Our afternoons of work have been a whirlwind of crumpled sheets of paper between crumpled bedsheets. The best days of my life.
Not My Type Page 15