Clearing his throat, Gael spoke, cutting off Harris’ response to me. It was stern and unyielding with possessiveness lacing every word. “Harris, I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work. You can try to take my restaurant and even if you succeed ... guess what? I’ll still be the winner in this pissing contest you’ve created. You know why? Because I have Ashlin. She’s warming my bed at night and not yours. I do know this … with how much I care about Ashlin at this point; I could never humiliate and hurt her like you did yesterday. Now, I’m going to take my girl into my establishment for a nice meal. You’re not welcome here. I suggest you realize that Ashlin and I are together and I’m not going to fuck-up like you did.”
As we turned and walk back into Gael’s Place, Harris stepped in front of us. “I’m a patient man to get what I want. Don’t forget that.”
Harris strode off briskly as Gael ushered me into the restaurant. As I watched him disappear down the street, I wondered why Harris was in Savannah. During our confrontation, the thought of why he was here had eluded me while my guard was up. Whatever the reason, a sickening feeling fell over me. My insides were shaking. Harris and I had been the definition of a relationship ending badly.
“Let’s get inside,” Gael said as he guided me.
A few people were still trying to stare at us while we walked toward the wooden door with glass panes. Ducking my head, I tried to see if there were any photographers. Everyone seemed like they were regular people. Hopefully, that was one bullet that was dodged and this confrontation wouldn’t be in tomorrow’s news. Tomorrow we’d find out when we read the papers if this had been another setup.
As we entered Gael’s Place, it was moderately busy. Dave, Gael’s father, was still here. He came over and greeted me. “Hey, Ashlin. I’m glad I got to see you before I left. Hopefully, you can come over again soon.”
I was too shaken to engage in a deep conversation. I slipped behind the training I had for the last seven months when situations became uncomfortable out with Harris.
“That sounds lovely.” My tone was neutral.
From the corner of my eye, I could see Gael looking at me as his head cocked to the side.
“Good. I’ll have Erica get in touch. Gael, I’ll make sure everything is running smoothly before I head home if that sounds good.”
I hadn’t realized Dave was so involved in the restaurant, though it made sense with his cooking abilities. A group of patrons clapped in the corner in what seemed to be a celebration of some sort.
Shaking his dad’s hand, Gael responded, “Thanks, Dad. I owe you.”
“Nah. Anytime, Son. I’ll call ya’ later.” There seemed to be a lot that they weren’t saying in this moment. I kept a pleasant smile on my face.
We passed another diner who was eating. “Gael, is this your girl you were talkin’ about?”
Keeping the same look as I had with Dave, I waited for the appropriate interval to respond. Gael eyed me, “Yes, Earl. This is Ashlin Thomas, and indeed the girl I was talking about earlier. She stopped by to get some lunch.”
Sticking my hand out, I shook Earl’s. “Earl, it’s nice to meet you.”
Gael continued to look at me speculatively.
“Nice meetin’ ya, too. I’ve known this boy for awhile. He’s a fine fellar.” The gray-haired man looked at Gael with admiration as he rubbed the stubble on his face.
I nodded politely. “I think so, too. It was a pleasure to meet you.”
“You too, darlin’. See ya around, Gael. You know I’ll be back next week for the chicken pot pie special.”
“We’ll have a plate waiting for you, Earl.”
Gael gave Earl a friendly pat on the back before we continued toward the office. Gael’s grip tightened on me. As the office door closed, Gael came up and cradled my face in his hands. “Come back to me. You never have to be afraid of showing what you feel around me regardless of where we are. Sweetheart, what is going through that beautiful head of yours?”
Clearing my throat, I tried to shake the old habits I had become accustomed to. “What are you thinking?”
I needed to know where Gael’s head was in all this before I bore myself to him.
“Seeing that bastard near you had me wanting to lose control and beat the shit out of him. He deserves it and worse for what he did to you. I wanted him to know that you’re mine. I don’t want you hiding behind barriers. I want to see the real you.” There was a fierceness about him that I hadn’t seen before.
A few sniffles emitted from my nose and there was a knock at the door. “Let me see who this is. It’s been a little more hectic than normal with all the changes in vendors. It also may be our lunch.”
“Okay.” Gael walked to the door and I turned to face his desk as I wiped away the couple of tears that trailed down my face. Trying to focus on the brick that was on the wall, I worked on calming myself.
Wheels on the hardwood floor sounded in the quiet office. They stopped. A hand touched my shoulders, sending warmth through my body as Gael turned me to him. “Now, will you tell me what you’re thinking about?”
I looked down at Gael’s stripped button up shirt and traced the lines. “There’s a lot on my mind. I wonder why Harris is here and if he’s been watching me. The timing was almost too perfect. I’m worried about what he’ll do to you next, to us.”
“Is that it?”
The question lingered out there and I knew Gael deserved the truth. Or at least the truth I was willing to admit to myself. “Since last night, I … I … I …”
I looked away and tried to put some space between us. Gael didn’t let me move. Bending his knees, Gael brought his eyes to mine. Conflict rose within me. I knew my heart told me one thing and my head the other. The problem was I wasn’t able to decipher which thoughts were from which place even though moments ago I thought I had known.
“Ashlin, we’ll work through it. All I want you to do is be honest with me.” Gael’s words encouraged me to keep going.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to put my thoughts together. “You’ve just met me, but you sound like you’re willing to lose your restaurant to my ex. It’s a sobering thought for me. You’ve just gotten back from Europe. Last night has me terrified with what happened and how intense it felt. I feel like you’re expecting something from me that I’m not ready to say. It’s all really fast. Maybe too fast.”
Gael looked at me for a second before bringing us over to the black leather couch against the wall. Scrubbing a hand down his face, he looked at the opposite wall. He took a deep breath, then faced me. “Ashlin, I’m not rolling over and handing my restaurant to him. I’d fight like hell to keep it, but Harris needed to understand how serious I am about us. I’m a grown man that isn’t going to shrink at his demands because he messed something up he shouldn’t have. But, Ashlin…”
He paused before continuing.
“I’m not expecting anything from you. And I know that I fucked up last night when I forgot the condom. I felt the intensity grow too, and I get that you’re not ready yet. Let’s focus on us and we’ll see where it leads. No expectations. No timelines on where we need to be. No pressure. We’ll set this at a pace you’re comfortable at. We’ll take a step back, lessen the intensity. Whatever it takes. Ashlin, I promise I understand what you’re saying. Stay honest with me if things get to be too much.”
This was what had me falling for Gael faster than I wanted to. He was able to understand me and get me in a way that no one ever had before. But if I let myself fall, what would happen if he left? I wasn’t ready to face the answer to that last question, considering my past.
“I will. Same goes for you with Harris. I need to know if things become too much. I don’t want to lose what we’ve found, Gael.”
“I will, Ashlin. I promise. We’ll find our way. I promise.”
My body ached. After lunch, I had come home and started feeling sick. I thought it might be stress and took a nap, but I had woken up feeling only worse. Aunt
Leelyn only had the old fashioned thermometers that you put underneath your tongue. I waited the necessary two to three minutes as I leaned my head against the cabinet and wished I was back in bed. The timer sounded and I looked at the thermometer. It read somewhere between one hundred and two to one hundred and three degrees.
My eye sockets hurt too badly to figure it out the exact number. I had a fever and that’s all I needed to know. Finding the medicine cabinet, I took some cold medicine and a fever reducer before heading back to my room to sleep. It was only four in the afternoon, but there was no way I was going to feel well enough for the date Gael had planned.
I picked up my phone and sent a quick text.
Me: I’m sick with a fever and feel awful. I need a rain check for tonight. Took cold medicine. I’m heading to bed.
Tossing my phone back on the dresser, I got under the cover as the chills formed all over my body. All I wanted to do was to sleep it off. Closing my eyes, I hoped the medicine kicked in before too long.
A cool washcloth pressed against my forehead. I removed it and tried to orient myself. Gentle hands felt my forehead. Gael’s hands.
I tried to sit up and failed as Gael pushed me back down.
“Hey, sweetheart. It’s me.” Gael’s thumb grazed my check. “I came to check on you when I realized I still had a key from the other day and couldn’t reach you. I think your fever is getting worse. Did you take anything for it?”
I nodded my head feebly. “Some fever reducer in the cabinet. I don’t remember the brand.”
There wasn’t a place on me that wasn’t throbbing, cold, or that I wanted to disconnect from my body. Strong arms came behind my back and lifted me. “Here, take two of these. This will help reduce your fever some more.”
I took the pills Gael handed me.
“Here drink some of this. I want you to stay hydrated. Have you been sick at all?”
I shook my head. It was easier than speaking.
“Okay, drink some if you can. Take slow sips and then see if you can rest some more. You’ve got about another hour before you can take more cold medicine if you took it about the time you texted me.”
Taking a slow drink from the straw, the liquid felt good against my throat. Gael was caring for me. I’d never been cared for while I was sick except when I had been here with Aunt Leelyn. Harris had always left to stay with his mom, not wanting to get sick himself.
Releasing the straw, Gael laid me back down.
“You might get sick, Gael. I don’t want you to get sick. You have so much going on with the restaurant.”
His warm voice soothed me. “Shh … get some rest. I’ll be fine. You’re my priority. Dad’s at the restaurant. Everything is handled.”
Not able to argue, I drifted back off to sleep.
DRIFTING AWAKE, I laid in bed waiting for the onslaught of nausea, achiness, and chills. It was mild compared to what it had been. My body felt drenched. I was still weak. Slightly turning my head, Gael slept in a brown worn leather recliner he had brought in from the other room. It nearly laid into a bed and was comfortable from what I remembered. I sat there and watched as his chest rose and his face was slack. He wore a T-shirt and cotton lounge pants. He was devastatingly handsome even in his sleep.
For the last few days, he had been there for me despite my protests that he could leave for his restaurant. It was all a blur, but I think I remembered his mom being here at one point or another. Needing to use the facilities, I started to the process of getting out of bed. My bones protested from the after effects of the flu.
Gael stirred and I froze, not wanting to wake him. I’m sure sleeping in the chair hadn’t been restful. Walking slowly, I made it to the restroom. From being practically bed ridden for the past few days, my vertigo was off and dizziness rolled through me. I used the counter for balance as I turned on the lights, which were bright. Giving myself a few minutes, I adjusted. After finishing, I splashed a little water on myself. A bath was going to be at the top of my priorities this morning. Seeing my toothbrush, I used it to scrub my teeth clean from all the yuckiness. With each small thing I did, I felt more human and more tired.
After seeing myself in the mirror, I wanted a shower now. I looked like death warmed over under the matted hair that had been haphazardly thrown back during the height of my fever. As I turned on the water on, a knock sounded at the door.
“Ashlin, how are you feeling?” Concern laced his voice.
Having someone care for me felt foreign. Since I’d moved out of Aunt Leelyn’s house, I’d been on my own, taking care of myself.
I looked like a wreck, but Gael had seen me at my worse. “You can come in.”
The door opened and Gael walked in. He touched the sides of my face, then rubbed his hands down my arm. “You look like you’re feeling a lot better. I had a doctor’s appointment for you today if you weren’t.”
If this was a lot better, my worse was more horrible than I had imagined.
“I’m feeling better. I hope you don’t get what I had. Thank you for taking care of me.” Becoming tired, I leaned against the counter. Everything hurt.
Gael still maintained his touch on me. “Sweetheart, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Did you want to take a shower?”
“Yes, get all the ick off. I know I’ll be tired afterward, but at least I’ll feel human.”
Gael shook off his shirt and his lounge pants, leaving him in his boxers. “We’ll take a quick one together. That way I know you won’t fall and I’ll do all the work.”
“I’d like that.” Tenderly, Gael pulled my shirt off my head, then pushed my yoga pants down. His touch was reverent.
Walking us to the shower, Gael checked the water and adjusted it. “There, that’s better. Let’s get you cleaned up. Then, we’ll see if you can keep any soup down. Okay?”
“That actually sounds good.” My stomach felt empty.
“Good.”
Stepping in, the warm water felt magnificent as it hit my skin, taking away the sickness from the last few days.
Gael stepped in behind me and I felt something brush my leg. I looked down and saw his hard on. He was turned on still even after seeing me at my worse. Shaking his head, Gael spoke, “I can’t help it. Seeing you naked is the sexiest thing. But, nothing is going to happen in here.”
I playfully pouted my lip, surprised I could muster any desire in me at this point. But seeing the water bead on Gael’s muscled chest had me wanting him even though I’d be a limp rag as he did all the work.
He shook his head and chuckled. “It’s not going to happen, sweetheart. We’ll see how you’re feeling in a day or so.”
Day or so? We’d definitely need to talk about that when I was more rested.
Tipping my head back into the spray, Gael grabbed the shampoo and massaged it into my hair. The floral sent invaded my nose. Having him touch me, but knowing I couldn’t have him was one of the worst tortures imaginable.
I moaned. “This feels heavenly. I think I’m going to be in tip-top shape for something more later.”
Kissing my neck, he responded, “We’ll see. I’ll have to give you a clean bill of health.”
“Gael, you’re not helping things touching me like this.” My words were breathy.
He cleared his throat. “I know. This is harder than I thought it would be.”
The massaging motion of my scalp had me closing my eyes and focusing on his touch versus his body. “I’m going to wash you now, Ashlin.”
“Okay.”
I kept my eyes closed as the cloth washed my body, gently and lovingly. As Gael made it to my navel he spoke, “I was worried about you. I hope I didn’t scare you further away with me staying here and caring for you. I couldn’t leave you, Ashlin. You were sick.”
The tone he used had me opening my eyes to see Gael squatted and looking at my stomach with the cloth stopped. Instinctively, I knelt before him and cradled his cheeks in my hands as he had done with me time and again. There was a vulnera
bility I’d never seen before in my confident man that had been put there by me.
“You didn’t scare me away by being here. I can’t believe you stayed here and took care of me all this time. Gael, my feelings for you are strong, stronger than I’ve ever known and I’m afraid for me. I’m not sure I could survive losing you. I lose everyone else I’m close to and …”
Tears ran down my face as I let out my deepest fear of getting close to Gael. A fear I only danced around but hardly ever admitted to myself. I wasn’t able to finish the words that desperately wanted to get out. This was the ultimate reason why I had pushed him away when things became more between us. I hadn’t realized everything until I let my emotions free.
Gael searched my face as his thumb came up to brush my lips. “In time, you’ll see we’re the real deal and you never have to worry. Time is all we need, sweetheart. I’m not going to abandon or leave you. I’ll prove it to you, I promise.”
“I like the sound of that promise. I’m going to hold you to it.” The tears were gone as the water washed them away. From all the emotion, I was exhausted.
Giving me a quick kiss, he helped me stand. “You’re worn out. Let me finish, then we’ll go downstairs.”
That sounded like the perfect plan to me.
Sitting in a chaise lounge in the living room, Gael brought me some soup.
“This looks like homemade chicken noodle soup.”
Gael winked at me before sitting on the edge with a sandwich that looked like it belonged in a magazine. “I wish I could take the credit. My dad made a bunch of food and sent it with my mom when she came over to watch you. There were a couple of times I had to go to the restaurant and I couldn’t leave you alone.”
Vague images of his mom came to mind. Most of the last few days felt like a drug induced dream. “I think I remember her being here at some point.”
Taking a sip of soup, I let the broth slide down to my stomach, filling and warming it at the same time. I was hungry, but wanted to take it slow.
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