Those words were similar to what he had spoken to me in my bedroom two months ago. “Gael, you’re my forever, too.”
We moved together, reveling in our bodies being together in a way that only true lovers could experience. The pace quickened and my grip on Gael tightened as my release peaked and we both cried out, “I love you!” at the same time.
Gael rolled off of me and pulled me to him. Satiated, I laid my head on Gael’s chest and listened to his heartbeat slow. I murmured, “I think I could stay like this forever. This is one of those moments where everything seems perfect, you know?”
“I do know.”
We laid in silence as the fire crackled and Gael pulled a blanket on top of us.
Fingers trailed up and down my back. Introspectively, he spoke, “It feels good to tell you I love you. I’ve been debating on when the perfect time would be and it never came. Tonight, when you wanted to move forward, it felt right.”
Nuzzling deeper into him, I said, “I’ve been debating when to say it for awhile, too. It was perfect. I love you, Gael.”
“I love you, too. More than words can express.”
Gael always had a way of taking things and making them more romantic.
More time passed, “What are we going to do tonight?”
He squeezed me to him. “It’s been awhile since we’ve read the journal. I thought I could read to you again while we witnessed Daniel keeping his promise to his true love. Seemed kind of fitting.”
Being caught up in Gael and life, I realized how long it had been since we’d read. I longed to hear Sophia’s words. Thinking back, I had longed for something like she had—a true love. Now, I had it and I knew what it felt like. There was nothing in this world I could imagine topping this moment. “Oh, I’d love that. I can’t believe it’s been so long. I’ve missed reading about them.”
Gael leaned up and grabbed the journal off the nearby sofa table. We resumed our positions and I listened to my love read to me.
RUNNING INTO THE parlor I looked for the telegram. Seeing it, I picked it up and made my way to Chester. It was addressed to him and it would have been rude for me to rip into it and read it. My head was spinning. I couldn’t wait to write and tell Danny I felt the baby moving this evening. Our baby. She had been moving about all evening and the whole time I thought it had been my nerves. Placing my hand over my stomach, I smiled as Irene walked up and stood next to me.
It was in that moment, I wondered why it was Chester’s brother who sent the letter and not Danny.
Chester began reading it and the more he read, the more I had a sick feeling wash over my body. His face lost all of its color. Irene grabbed my hand and held it so tightly it felt as if she would break my fingers at any moment.
Dropping the letter down to his side, Chester whispered, “What have I done? Dear God, what have I done?”
Confusion ripped through my body as I turned to Irene. “What’s wrong? Has something happened to Danny?” Snapping my head back to Chester, I sucked in a breath of air. His body was overcome with sobs.
Shaking my head, I took a few steps back. “What is going on? Chester? You’re scaring me.”
A sharp pain raced through my lower stomach.
Danny’s father’s eyes found mine. I saw his tear fall and I placed both hands over my mouth. I felt sick.
Something happened to Danny.
Another sharp pain in my stomach had me leaning over in an attempt to make it stop.
“Chester, what of my son?”
Chester shook his head as he reached out and handed me the letter. Wiping my eyes, I began to read it.
Dropping the paper to the floor, I began backing out of the room. “No. This is mistake. This has to be a mistake.”
Chester had Irene wrapped in his arms as they both cried. “Sophia, my sweet darling girl. I’m so sorry. I should have been the one.”
Shaking my head in a frantic manner, I yelled out. “He’s not gone! I’d feel it if he were gone! No … God, no!” My body trembled as cries escaped from my lips. “He’s not gone! He promised me. He promised me!” I screamed as I turned and ran out of the parlor, to the door, and down the steps.
I began running toward the harbor as tears streamed down my face. “He promised!”
Repeating it over and over as I ran to the harbor. He was coming back for me. For us. His baby girl moved today. She moved!
As I ran along the street, I bumped into people with no regards to manners. My tears had never fallen so much in my life. Everything hurt. My head, my legs, my feet, and most of all … my heart.
Hearing someone calling out my name, I didn’t bother to stop. He’s not gone. He promised us.
A sharp pain ripped through my lower stomach causing me to stop running and let out a scream.
Hands were wrapped around me as I began to feel faint. “He’s not gone. He promised me.”
“Sophia, it is Devlin. Please tell me what is wrong?”
Opening my eyes, I looked at Devlin, he was carrying me upstairs and into a house. Looking around, I recognized the house. It was Devlin’s. Attempting to get out of his arms, I cried out. “Devlin! I must get to the docks. Danny! I have to wait for him to come back.” Sobbing out of control, I whispered, “He promised me he would be back.”
Pain raced through my stomach as I felt a powerful cramping feeling. No. Dear God no. Please don’t do this to me. Please! Placing my hand over the baby, I let out a scream as I called out Danny’s name.
Then, everything went black.
“She’s been asleep for nearly three days, Devlin. I’m beginning to worry. Maybe we should call the doctor again.”
My eyes felt heavy and I had attempted to open them until I heard the familiar voice talking. It sounded to be Mrs. Covington, Devlin’s mother.
I felt someone take my hand. “I’ve already had him come this morning, Mother. He said she does not have a fever, we are to watch for a fever.”
“Darling, you’ve been by her side the entire time. Why don’t you go rest?”
Devlin’s voice sounded tired as he continued to speak. “No, what if she wakes. I can’t leave her alone. She mustn’t be alone when she wakes.”
“Very well, you know best. Mr. Stowe stopped by earlier, you were asleep in the chair and we didn’t want to disturb you. He asked to be notified the moment she wakes.”
Sounding defeated, Devlin responded, “Yes, Mother.”
Hearing footsteps leaving the room, I slowly opened my eyes and let them roam around, taking in where I was. The room was dark with the drapes drawn shut. My eyes attempted to adjust to the lack of light in the room.
I didn’t recognize the bedroom at all. The walls were covered with a dark colored tapestry and I knew I’d not been in this room before. Slowly looking to my right, I saw Devlin, with his dark-brown hair looking a mess. He had his head down on the bed. Opening my mouth to talk, I couldn’t manage to speak. My mouth was dry and had a horrible taste to it. That’s when I noticed Devlin was holding my hand. Lifting my fingers some, Devlin lifted his head up and looked my way.
“Sophia …” closing his eyes as relief washed over his face, he whispered, “Thank you, God.”
Opening and closing my mouth, Devlin got the hint. He jumped up and reached for a glass. Filling it with water, he slipped his hand behind my neck and lifted my head some. The moment the water hit my lips, I let out a low moan. “Don’t drink too much all at once, Sophia. Small sips.”
Nodding my head, I took one more sip and relaxed my head back into his hand. Devlin slowly rested my head back on the pillow. My eyes searched his face as I tried to remember what had happened. Then, it all hit me. Devlin’s sad eyes locked onto mine as I felt a tear roll down the side of my face. Reaching up, he wiped it away.
“Do you remember, Sophia?”
Slowly nodding my head, I whispered, “He’s gone.”
Tears formed in Devlin’s eyes as he nodded his head and looked down. Bringing my hand up to his l
ips, he kissed the back of it. “I’d give anything to take your pain away, Sophia. I know how much you loved, Daniel.”
A sob escaped from my mouth.
Danny. My Danny. Gone from me. Forever.
“He promised me, Devlin. He promised me.”
Standing, Devlin moved closer to me. “Sophia, I know in my heart that Daniel did everything in his power to get back to you. I believe that with everything inside of me.”
Devlin turned away from me quickly in an attempt to hide his tears from me. “How do you know this, Devlin?”
Looking back at me, he smiled weakly. “Because, I know he loved you more than anything. I know Daniel Stowe and he would never break a promise to anyone, especially, the woman he loves. I know had I made that kind of a promise to you, I’d have moved heaven and earth to get back to you. I know he did as well. I feel it in my bones. He loved you so much, Sophia.”
Biting down on my lip to keep from crying, I said, “He doesn’t feel gone, but my heart feels like I’ve lost something.”
Devlin turned away from me and pushed his hand through his hair. “Devlin? What is it? What are you not telling me?”
Slowly turning back to me, he sat on the side of the bed. “I’m so sorry, Sophia. I’m so sorry.”
Reaching my hand down to my stomach, I instantly felt the emptiness. Slowly shaking my head, I barely said, “No … he can’t take them both away from me! Oh, God, please don’t do this to me.” My body was overcome with sobs as Devlin reached down and took me into his arms. Wrapping my arms around him, I cried out as the reality of not only losing my husband, but losing our child as well, engulfed my body like a horrible nightmare that was only just beginning.
Staring out over the garden, I held my legs close to my body. I knew I was not sitting proper at all and I didn’t care. Devlin had taken me to his plantation so I could get out of Savannah. Any time I walked down the street, people’s tongues would wag in gossip, suggesting an affair between Devlin and myself. My mother being the biggest gossip of them all. The moment she found out I was staying at the Covington’s, she began coming to visit me. Closing my eyes, I felt sick thinking back to her last visit. I had seen the exchange between my mother and Mr. Covington’s face one evening. My mother sat with me in the parlor for two minutes before she excused herself and left. I’m sure for a secret encounter with Devlin’s father. I never did tell Devlin, but I had my suspicions he knew of the affair.
Then there was Irene and Chester. I loved them so much, but every time I saw them it brought back all the pain of losing Danny.
Wiping a tear away, I opened my eyes and pulled in a deep cleansing breath of air. Clearing her throat, my eyes turned to Nelly. She was sitting with me in the garden as she knitted. Not saying a word as she let me be alone in my thoughts.
“Nelly, you don’t have to watch over me.”
Tilting her head, her eyes were filled with a light a wish I had. “Would you like something to eat? You failed to eat earlier.”
Attempting to give her a smile, I nodded my head. “I’m a bit hungry.”
Smiling, Nelly jumped up. “I shall return with some bread and jam.”
Watching Nelly scurry off into Devlin’s house I let out a sigh. I knew she meant well, but I really just wanted to be alone.
Gazing back out over the garden I thought of Devlin. I would never be able to thank Devlin for the kindness he had shown me over the last three weeks. I knew this was hard on him. People were beginning to whisper of a love affair between us, even as I walked next to him in my black mourning dress, they still talked.
I also knew that Devlin had feelings for me. I wasn’t sure how strong they were, but sometimes he would look at me with such pain in his eyes. He constantly told me he wished he could take all the pain away. I secretly wished he could too.
Yesterday, Devlin had returned from checking on his crops and found me again, curled up in a ball on the floor. He picked me up and carried me to the fireplace and sat me on the floor in front of it. When he wrapped his arms around me, I tried to pretend it was Danny who held me. My mind drifted back to the beach house on Tybee Island and the night we had made our child. Letting go, I began crying again as Devlin held me most of the night. Only letting me go long enough to add more wood to keep the fire going. When I woke up within his arms, I stared at him for the longest time. Devlin was so handsome, and I knew he had a line of women waiting to have him in their bed.
Once we arrived at the Plantation, he had a dozen women call on him. Finally, he told his butler he would not be accepting any more visitors. Not until I was feeling better and could join him as he entertained his guests.
My heart ached knowing I was taking all of Devlin’s time and attention. I didn’t deserve to have him in my life. I didn’t deserve the love I knew he felt for me.
Hearing the screen door open, I looked over my shoulder. Devlin walked out, dressed in nothing but his work pants and a shirt. His hair was soaked with perspiration and for one brief second, I was attracted to him in such a way that I wanted him between my legs. Looking away quickly, the guilt raced through my body. But I also noticed in those few seconds … the pain of losing Danny was gone.
“It’s a beautiful October day, Sophia. Would you like to join me in a walk?”
Turning back to him, I smiled. “I’m hardly dressed for a walk.”
His eyes searched my body. “You’re dressed in my pants, which by the way suit you rather nicely.”
Looking down, I couldn’t help but chuckle. I had taken a pair of Devlin’s trousers and sewed them to fit me. I couldn’t believe how comfortable they were. I also wore one of his older buttoned-down shirts. My hair was pulled back and out of my face. I was sure I looked terrible, but the way Devlin looked at me, it was as if I was dressed for a ball. He couldn’t pull his eyes off of me.
“I think you are more than dressed for a stroll along the grounds. I’ve asked Nelly to have lunch fixed for us for when we return.” Reaching down, Devlin grabbed my hands and pulled me up, causing me to let out a chortle. It had been almost a month since I felt alive enough to even breathe, so the laughter felt good.
“Fine, I shall join you for a walk.”
Devlin and I walked in silence before he finally cleared his throat. “Sophia, I’m not even sure how to say this or when I should be saying it. I don’t know the rules on this. It feels as if it’s too soon, yet sometimes …”
I stopped walking and looked at Devlin. His brown eyes were breathtaking. They were so light in color that they sparkled. Especially when he looked at me. It has always been that way though. Devlin never was one to shy away from how he felt about me, but he remained a gentleman at all times.
“What feels too soon?”
Closing his eyes, he let out a sigh. “It’s almost been a month. My heart tells me that there will never be a proper time. I don’t think you will ever truly be over Daniel.”
Shaking my head, I whispered, “No. Only Danny owned my heart, for always.”
Placing his hand on the side of my face, the warmth instantly spread through my body. I had so longed for Danny’s touch these last few months. Closing my eyes, I leaned my face into Devlin’s hand. “Let me take care of you, Sophia. We don’t ever have to go back to Savannah. We can stay here as long as you’d like. I’m not asking you to forget Daniel, I’m asking you to make a little bit of room in your heart for me. I swear to you, I’ll love you until the day I die.”
I placed my hand over Devlin’s. “How unfair it would be of me to ask you to take care of me like that, Devlin. I’m not sure I could ever give one hundred percent of myself to you. You need to find someone who will love you like you deserve to be loved. Not someone who will only give you a small part of her heart.”
Swallowing hard, Devlin’s eyes pierced mine. “Over time, my prayer is that you will learn to love me, not like you loved Daniel, but love me nonetheless.”
For one brief moment, I wanted to have the touch of a man’s hands o
ver my body. I wanted to feel what it would be like to let my mind slip away and let someone love me. I wanted to know what it would be like to have Devlin make love to me.
Turning away quickly, I began walking. The guilt of wanting Devlin’s touch raced through my body and mixed with my sorrow over losing Danny. “Will you give me more time, Devlin?”
Walking next to me, Devlin reached down for my hand. “Yes, my darling, Sophia, I’ll wait for you as long as you need me to.”
Looking out over the gardens, my tears felt like fire as they moved down my face. With each tear that fell, my heart hurt more and more.
Danny. I miss you so.
RIDING UP ON Champion, Devlin’s prized thoroughbred, I smiled at the sight of Devlin talking to another caller. He had decided to throw a garden party to not only get all the visits over with in one fell swoop, but to also get his mother off of his back. She had been sending him letters, reminding him of his place in the family, and how a garden party would be a wonderful thing to do. She also insisted it would make me feel better.
Sliding down off of Champion, I adjusted my black riding dress. Almost two months had passed since I had lost both Danny and the baby and a total of four months since I stood on the dock and said good-bye to the love of my life.
Walking up to Devlin, I was shocked at the way the young girl threw herself at him. She had touched him three times in the last thirty seconds. Plastering on a fake smile, I stopped in front of Devlin and the young woman. Devlin’s face lit up when he saw me. It was growing harder and harder to resist his smile. I was positive it was because I was lonely and longed for Danny’s touch. The last thing I wanted to do was make Devlin feel like he was being used as a replacement.
“Sophia, how was your ride?” Devlin asked as he took my hand and kissed the back of it. The young girl raised her eyebrow as she watched the exchange between Devlin and myself.
Giving a slight bow of my head, I answered. “Peaceful.”
Predestined Hearts Page 23