by Ivy Asher
I look back down to where I’m still clutching Ryker’s phone and the listings. “These two are good. They both have nice gyms and big bathtubs.”
Sabin starts to laugh. “Did you look at anything else inside of them?”
I shrug. “What? My criteria is shorter than most of yours. I’m the least picky out of all of you guys when it comes to where we live. The one that’s brick with ivy growing on the outside is pretty. Honestly, I just want somewhere safe, where we can all be together. I am super ready for some alone time.”
I mumble the last part under my breath, but Knox begins to snicker, indicating I wasn’t as quiet as I thought I was.
“What is it sweet Vinna? Are you wanting something you’re not getting?” Knox teases with a chuckle, as he sidles up to me. He runs the back of his knuckles across my cheek, his chest brushing against mine, and I’m suddenly very aware of every part of me that’s deliciously close to every part of him.
Slowly I lick my lips, and then I widen my eyes innocently and blink up at him. “Yes. Sex.”
At my response, Sabin starts to choke on nothing, and Knox laughs even harder. Bastien forcefully pats Sabin on the back a couple of times, trying to hide his smile at his friend’s reaction. I look at Sabin.
“What? You can kiss me like that in front of all of them, but the word sex freaks you out? Captain, you knew this was going to happen at some point.”
A small smile sneaks across his face before he hides it. I give Valen’s hand a quick squeeze and look at the others in turn.
“I don’t want to force anyone to do something they don’t want to. It’s just, this pull you guys have over me has gotten a hell of a lot stronger since your runes showed up. It’s driving me mental. And, you’re all fucking hot. Like, drool all over myself, my brain no longer works, hot.”
They chuckle, but the smile falls from my face as my thoughts grow more serious.
“You all have been amazing. All the shit that’s gone down with Lachlan, the lamia, and losing Talon. I’ve never felt more connected to anyone than I do to you guys. I’m ready. I want you; all of you. If any of you want to take things slower than I do, I respect that. I just want you all to know where I stand.”
Valen’s grasp slips out from my fingers and the next thing I know I’m being swung over someone’s shoulder.
“Knox, where are you going?” Valen shouts after us.
“What? She’s ready. I’m ready. Carpe diem, fuckers.”
I laugh and slap Knox’s ass, encouraging him.
“Knox, come back here with our female. You can wait until we have a house and a proper bed.”
I press up against Knox’s lower back and playfully glare at Sabin. “Captain, mind your own business! To the trees Knox, I scoped out some soft looking grass earlier.”
Knox chuckles but then starts grumbling to himself. Fucking hell. It looks like Sabin’s admonishment hit its mark. After another minute he huffs and changes direction, heading back towards the guys.
“Knox, the grass is that way.” I point behind him and pull on the back of his shirt as if I can direct him like I would Darcy with reins.
“The Captain’s right, you deserve a bed for your first time,” Knox grudgingly admits. “But after that, Killer, it’s an anytime, anywhere free for all. You got me?”
I clench my thighs and stifle the moan that wants to sneak past my lips. Fuck yeah, I am definitely on board for that!
10
Enoch’s house sits dark and ominous as I approach the front door. I hesitate as I reach for the black door knob, my hand dropping to my side. I take a step back and stare at the darkened entrance, like somehow my glare will change what sits on the other side. I hear the shuffle of faint footsteps on the other side of the oversized wooden door, and I’m surprised that anyone is up this late.
I purposefully stayed out as late as possible, hoping to avoid anyone who might be waiting here for me. Images of the elders pouncing on me as soon as I set foot back inside this house and binding my magic have played in my head from the moment Ryker navigated his car in this direction.
I watch as the oversized door swings open quietly, revealing Enoch on the other side. I can’t read the expression on his face, and he says nothing as he takes me in. Our eyes meet, and I see relief and frustration swimming in them. His eyes soften when he looks over my neck, but that disappears as he watches the red tail lights of Ryker’s car disappear through the gates of his property.
The air between us is heavy with concern, and a part of me feels bad that I caused it, while another part doesn’t want to care. We stare at each other silently for what feels like forever before I step through the threshold and walk past him. I go still when I find the rest of Enoch’s coven sitting stoically in the living room, clearly waiting for me. Fuck. There goes my plan for sneaking in and trying to avoid everyone until I can get the hell out of this house.
I spot Pebble in an armchair. He’s conscious and injury-free. I try to discern how he’s feeling about me, my arrival, and the fact that I almost ended his existence today. His face is expressionless, but his eyes spark with some unidentifiable emotion as he runs them down and back up my body. I stand and wait for someone to break the silence. Enoch passes me and steps down into the living room reclaiming his place on the couch.
“You okay?” Nash asks, his eyes scanning my neck for injuries.
“Ryker healed me.”
Becket snorts and shakes his head. “We figured that’s where you ran off to.”
I want so badly to ask what happened with the elders after I left, but I bite down on my tongue and swallow all the questions sitting on it.
“Caster Sawyer, Elder Balfour, and Paladin Ender are all okay, in case you were wondering,” Pebble tells me, his hands tightening as they grip the arms of the chair he’s sitting in.
“I wasn’t,” I respond, my body language automatically tensing up to mirror Pebble’s.
I can’t get a read on what he wants to do right now, but I can tell he’s itching to do something. My magic slowly starts to extend itself from my center into my limbs, responding to the potential threat. I zero in on Pebble, reading every twitch and tightening of his body and features.
“So, today was a clusterfuck of epic proportions,” Kallan announces.
Chuckles sound off around the room, and a smile slowly stretches across Pebble’s face. He looks over at Kallan, losing our staring contest, and it allows me to relax a little.
“Paladin Ender does have a lovely way with words, doesn’t he,” Nash admits, an amused smile fixed on his face, but it’s not lost on me that there’s no amusement evident in his eyes. “Those were his exact words when everyone stopped fighting after you ran off. Well, that and… what else did he say Pebble?”
Everyone turns to Pebble who rolls his eyes and snickers. “I believe it was something along the lines of: well done — pissing off the strongest caster we’ve seen in centuries.”
I don’t know if I want to laugh or groan at what Paladin Ender said. It’s nice to know he stood up for me, but I’m pretty confident that’s not going to be seen as a good thing in the elders’ eyes. Then again, I was doing a pretty good job all on my own of convincing them I was the threat Lachlan thought I was. I doubt the they started it first argument is going to carry much weight with them, regardless of how true it is.
“For what it’s worth, the elders were incredibly sorry that things ended the way that they did. Caster Sawyer was distraught that you didn’t want to work with him anymore,” Enoch states.
I snort at his declaration and narrow my eyes at him. “Do you think that matters at all to me? They’re sorry? For which part? Sorry they let someone they brought here attack me? Sorry they got caught lying about it? Or sorry that there’s no chance I will do anything they want, now, or in the future?”
“Vinna, it’s not like that,” Becket insists. “They really are just trying to do what’s best for you.”
“Thank you for your propag
anda, oops, I mean opinion. But how is any of this what’s best for me?” I gesture wildly at them, at their house, at the world in general. “I’ve been threatened, dictated to, attacked, and moved around, all without consultation or consideration. What’s best for me isn’t even a fucking afterthought at this point.”
“Who threatened you?” Enoch questions, moving to the edge of his seat like he’s getting ready to take action against anyone I name.
“Lachlan for starters. I was told if I didn’t come here willingly the elders would bind my magic and force me to cooperate.”
Enoch scoffs and shakes his head, a look of disgust on his face.
“Don’t go getting all high and mighty, Enoch. Your dad and the other elders have taken away my decisions just like Lachlan did.”
Becket opens his mouth to argue, but I cut him off.
“Is everyone here just going to pretend that the elders didn’t give their permission to attack me with magic today? How can you still buy the casters care about females more than anything else line after witnessing what happened today? Nothing I have seen here so far has convinced me that females are anything but a fucking commodity to be traded, cashed in, and destroyed when convenient.”
I shake my head in disgust. These guys have sat in a position of power in this community because of who their fathers are and who they’re connected to. How do they not see the truth? I can tell by the looks on their faces that they still honestly believe the elders have pure motivations and intentions. My gaze flits between all of them.
“They let that instructor strangle me.”
I shudder at the memory and take a moment to compose myself.
“I watched each of you try to break through the barrier that was erected to get to me. But did any of you see what the elders were doing?”
“They were arguing about what to do,” Pebble offers.
“Arguing. But which one of them lifted a finger to stop what was happening?”
Pebble’s eyes drop from mine.
“Who erected the barrier? Was it Caster Sawyer, or was it one of them? Did you bother to ask, to connect the pieces, or is it normal to swallow the bullshit they feed you without question, and then ask for more?”
Becket scoffs. “If my father said what Caster Sawyer did was the only way to confirm your ability, then I believe him. I’m aware that you have issues with your uncle, but not all casters are like him, Vinna. You can trust the elders; you can trust us.”
“Like the shifters trusted you that day at the cliffs. When each of you stood by and watched your friends bully them.”
“We can’t go around policing everyone. Shifters have their own rules and ways. We can’t step in when their own should be,” Kallan tells me.
“I thought you guys were paladin conscripts? Isn’t that in your job description, to police and protect, or does that only apply to your own kind?”
Becket scoots to the end of his seat, frustration coloring his features. “We aren’t paladin yet, and we don’t have free reign to do whatever we want. We follow the rules, just like everyone else! Well, maybe not you, since you seem to have no loyalty or respect for anyone.”
I tighten my fists and fight not to take his bait. “I give respect where it’s earned.”
“Then you should give others a chance to earn it, instead of writing them off at your earliest convenience. I’m sorry you were hurt. Everyone else felt just as bad. Give them a chance to show you that they’re looking out for you. That they just might know what’s best.”
I narrow my eyes at Becket. How can he think that the elders or anyone else knows what’s best for me, when they don’t even know me?
“My little sister was murdered that way,” I tell him, my voice even, emotionless.
He was prepared for an argument, but I watch as the fight leaks out of Becket, like a sieve, at my words. His face fills with shock.
“She was thirteen when some fucking piece of shit wrapped his hands around her neck and stole her life. Should I write the elders and Caster Sawyer a thank you note for giving me a clear picture of what Laiken experienced before she died?” I shake my head and look away from Becket and the others, focusing on everything and nothing outside of the dark window. “But hey, I guess what happened was what’s best for me, right? I should just figure out how to trust others, who know nothing about me, to make my decisions.”
No one says anything. I turn and walk out of the living room, making my way down the hallway. I leave my rhetorical questions to float awkwardly amongst them in the living room. I’m too tired to continue this pointless conversation. I shut myself into my assigned room, pull off my pants, and climb into the bed, where sleep seizes me like a thief; stealing me away from my troubled and unsettling thoughts and memories.
11
My head feels heavy, and I groan as I lift it up off my chest. The cool air hits me, bringing with it the stale smell of mildew. I open my eyes and freeze. I’m in the same cellar I just escaped from. What the fuck is going on? I call on my throwing knives, but the familiar warmth and flow of magic is absent from my limbs. I try again. Nothing. I reach into the bright place that’s always existed inside of me, wondering why my magic isn’t answering my call. But it’s like a dying star sits ashen and crumbling inside my chest.
Panic tries to take hold of me, but I fight it for control.
“Little Warrior.”
Talon’s voice brushes past my ear from behind, and I go still. I close my eyes and try to lock down the pain that surfaces inside of me. A sob escapes me, despite my efforts to keep it locked inside my chest.
“Little Warrior, what are you doing here? I told you it’s not safe.”
Talon’s voice darts from one side of me to the other, and I frantically search for him behind me. The tears that are dripping down my cheeks are flung around me as I jerk my head from side to side in an effort to catch a glimpse of him. He’s a flash behind me, never stopping long enough for me to take in his features. To see him. I growl out my frustration and struggle against my restraints.
My desperation shatters me, and I lose it. I thrash and scream with my efforts. I ignore any need to escape. I just need to see him. Urgency races through my veins, and it keeps me from focusing on anything, aside from my need to find Talon’s face. Nothing I do brings him into focus. No amount of begging holds him still long enough for me to see that he’s alright. Slowly my energy drains, and eventually, my chin falls to my chest in defeat. I shake with the sobs that wrack my body, and I pant as I try to wade through the desolation and fill my lungs with air.
“Vinna, don’t cry,” a small, melodious voice tells me.
A voice I haven’t heard in almost eight years. Laiken? With that thought, goosebumps rise on every inch of my skin.
“Laiken?” I ask out loud, my voice shaky.
“Vinna, you can’t cry. Vinna? Vinna, can you hear me?”
Her fragile voice grows more panicked with each unanswered question.
“Laiken! Where are you?” I shout helplessly.
I can’t get out of my restraints. I can’t see anything except the gray concrete walls of this room. I can’t do anything. Why can’t I fucking do anything?
“Vinna, you can’t cry. You have to run. Do you hear me? Run!”
Laiken’s blood-curdling scream echoes in my ears as I fling myself off the bed. I smash into the corner of the room, my back against the V where the walls connect. My sudden movement scares whoever was just standing over me and they whirl to track me, keeping me in their sights. A ball of magenta magic grows between my palms before I even realize that I’ve conjured it. The pink light of my magic emits a soft glow which highlights Enoch’s face; his features set in a worried frown.
A noise draws my attention to the doorway, where the rest of his coven and Pebble stand looking tired and equally concerned.
“Are you okay?” Enoch asks, pulling my attention back to him.
I stare at him blankly, confused.
“You so
unded like you were hurt. We came to check on you, but I couldn’t get you to wake up. You were screaming and crying.” He points to my face, and I swipe at the tear tracks there. “What happened?” he asks, as he takes a tentative step towards me.
I try to process what he just said. My heavy breathing and pounding heart make it difficult to focus on much, other than the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I scan the room. Not able to stop myself from looking for Talon and Laiken, even though I’m starting to connect that none of it was real. It was a dream, I realize, as the last of the drowsy confusion leaves me.
“I must have been having a nightmare,” I croak out; my voice is deeper and heavy with sleep.
I’m not sure what to do or think about that. I’ve never been prone to nightmares before, not even when I was younger and stuck with Beth and her torture sessions. Sleep was always a safe place. Always an escape.
Kallan steps hesitantly into the room. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He leans back against the wall next to the head of the bed, his hands anchored against the plaster just behind his lower back.
“Why?” I ask, suspicion lacing my tone.
“Sometimes it helps to work through whatever is bothering you,” Nash offers.
He follows Kallan’s lead and steps into the room as well. He leans against the wall opposite me and crosses his arms over his chest. “It’s always helped me when my nightmares got really bad.”
I’m surprised by his confession.
“What are your nightmares about?” I blurt, in a whisper.
I instantly realize how messed up my question is, but it’s already out there, and Nash doesn’t seem bothered by it.
“My parents died when I was ten. For a long time, my nightmares were about that, about them. They trickled almost to a stop as I got older; that is, until about a week ago.”
“What brought them back? The lamia?” I ask, before I can stop myself.
Nash shakes his head, his black hair swaying, and his ice blue eyes fixed on me. “No. You did. Or, I guess I should say the keening noise you made when your friend died. That’s what has been haunting me these days. I can’t seem to shake that soul-shattering sound, or how broken I feel every time it replays in my nightmares.”